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Thread: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

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    Default ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    so, ive been living with this boyfriend of mine for almost 3 years now.
    and every time we meet anyone from his family or when he speaks with any of his brothers/mother/father/grandparents on the phone, they ALWAYS start to talk about me too - they ask how i am doing and am i still jobless. we have told them all countless times that i DO work, that i do many things, i make decent money, i just do it from home. we have come up with stories of freelance this and that, just almost every imaginable thing there is to be told about working from home. and still, THEY ALL think im not working. they insist i just sit at home and do nothing and live off that poor guy's money (yet i make more than he does). because of that i have decided i wont be meeting anyone from his family anymore. ive had enough of this polite smiling and telling that, you know, i actually work.
    just a bit ago he spoke with his grandmother again and AGAIN he was telling her that i DO HAVE A JOB, have had it for years.
    urgh its so annoying.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    You're not the only one hun, we all get it.Just tell them one story and stick with it. Pick an area you're familiar with or just elaborate a story on a past job you've done. Or you can always tell them you can't talk about it because you signed an NDA. For example, i really do work on and off for an online research company so i tell people i work from home as a freelance research engineer for a software company. I do get questioned now and then when people realize i go to the gym/ shopping/ ride my horse during daytime hours (as i mostly work night times), but i just say i don';t have set hours, just deadlines x

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    wtf, that's strange. it's weird that they don't count working not in a "go to work" setting as an actual job oh well, girl, laugh all the way to the bank!

    follow me on twittah<3

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! It's extremely frustrating.

    My husband and I have both been camming exclusively for the past year now. We constantly get the "So when are you gonna get a job?" lecture from both sets of parents. It's mostly directed towards him. For some reason they simply can't fathom the idea of him working from home doing freelance stuff. So they just assume that he's being lazy and unmotivated and doesn't want to provide for his family.

    A while back (like 8 months ago?) we made some bad decisions and had to borrow like $300 to help cover bills, which CLEARLY means we're destitute, constantly struggling, living a life of abject poverty. If only the man of the house would go out and get an $18/hr job, all of our problems would be instantly solved!!

    I can't stand it and I just want to slam my head into the wall most of the time. It's made interacting with our parents annoying and stressful instead of an enjoyable experience like it should be. Argh.

    /end rant

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    well, but my father once implied that i must be some kind of socially retarded if i havent been able to find a job in over 10 years...
    somehow it looks like most people think along those lines - if you dont work 9-5 mo-fri or any other set hours at a location outside your home, you have no real job.
    damn, this makes me so angry. actually i work more hours than those who go to office from 9 to 5 mo-fri, and as far as i know i am the only one around here (i mean, HERE, with my family and my bf's family around) who doesnt go around bitching about their bosses, about annoying coworkers or not being able to afford this or that.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    I know, i know, but those people will never get it, They are indoctrinated. It's only those who work "outside the box" themselves or have some experience of it, that will ever even remotely understand. Don't waste your time trying to explain. So long as you're paying your way, not destitute, not asking them for help, they have nothing to complain about do they :p

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    The world is going towards working from home! Have you heard of oDesk.com??? Mechanical Turk.com?? I hope that is the way it will stay. No gas to buy all the time!

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    it's amusing that people who commute to work think that those who work from home have it easy-they don't recognize that it means we often (usually) work as much and more, in that we never quite leave the 'office'.

    About your guy's family though...as much as it hurts, some people are really difficult to please. For the first couple years that my partner and I were together, I felt the constant, critical scrutiny of his parents. They made no secret about their concerns about my hair (purple/pink), my piercings, my tats, my diet, my clothes, my nails (black) and my educational pursuits-although that died off SLIGHTLY when I did get a wicked job in my field. They had decided that I was deficient, and there was nothing I could do or say to change that.

    Things only got better (alot better ) after months n years of my guy sticking up for me, making it clear that we were going to be together, and taking every opportunity to share with his parents the positive things I brought to his life.
    Your guy needs to make it clear that he doesn't support you financially, that you work hard and he admires and appreciates that.
    Beyond that, keep your head up, be polite, non-defensive, and carry yourself with pride knowing the truth about what you contribute to your relationship with your guy, both financially and otherwise.

    Eventually, they may come around, but you can't control that. I know it sucks, I've been there-but it can change over time

    hugs and peace and $$$$

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    You could make up a fake name for your business. You could also sprinkle some references to made-up specific incidences that occur when you are at work, sprinkle benign references to your "clients" in conversation, i.e. "yeah, one of my clients recommended that restaurant/computer/candy to me. He really enjoyed it, too!" and bullshit like that. Cancel out on a family function from time to time because it's your "peak period" and you have some tight deadlines, but can we reschedule??? etc. etc.

    I did this for awhile when people wondered why I was taking fewer shifts at my vanilla job (I work on a call-in basis). I started this whole ruse, and now I wonder why I made the effort.

    Because now, I'm faking on cam and I'm faking in real life. I tell the guys about a "me" that doesn't exist, and then I switch off the computer and tell family and coworkers about this whole other "me," a second me, that doesn't exist.

    There were too fews hours left in the day when I could actually be myself.

    Plus, because I'm lying, it's hard to get my story straight and remember things that I've told them in the past. They sometimes ask surprising questions that throw me off.

    You can try all the stuff I tried, and it may help, but you might find it exhausting, and you'll just resent them even more for not accepting you as you.

    OR...

    You could answer their question (a rather uncouth question if you ask me, and I'm no Miss Manners, but holy fuck, it is pretty intrusive and none of their business), with another question:

    "Why is this such a thorn in your side? It seems to really bother you a lot. Why is that?" in a concerned voice.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    LMFAO my whole family and friends are like that, EXACTLY! "Have you gotten a job yet?" "Sure you can come out... since you don't work!" "How do you get all this money?!" (when referring to how I pay my rent) Others assume I inherited money or that my parents pay for everything (a good alibi since I'm pretty young and a lot of people in my area do that, but sorry, I WORK HARD for my stuff!) No other time than hearing those statements and questions, have I ever wanted to yell SUCK MY CROTCH AND LEAVE ME ALONE, DUMBHEAD!!! lol

    I don't flash anything in people's faces. I don't spend recklessly. I'm not always buying new things. I'm super secretive, which probably only fuels the fire.

    Non-entrepreneurial people were brought up to think that having a "job" means having a "secure" (HA!) 9-5 working for SOMEBODY ELSE. Even worse, they believe that this should be EVERYONE'S goal. Just like college, not EVERYTHING fits for EVERYONE!

    Entrepreneurs are basically the anti non-entrepreneur. They HATE 9-5s, they HATE working for other people, they HATE being undermined and forced to not use their creative abilities. I feel like entrepreneurs can understand non-entrepreneurs, but non-entrepreneurs CAN'T understand entrepreneurs. We just have a completely different mind.

    What I find funny about this is that entrepreneurs always have the most lucrative jobs, most creative minds, and the most flexible schedules. IMO, who WOULDN'T want to be one??


    ANYWAY, so tell them you do something freelance or work from home. Make SURE you know a lot about it. Marketing, graphic designer, bridal consultant, hair stylist, makeup artist, nail artist, model, customer service, real estate, insurance, etc. Just look up freelance careers & there you go. Make some business cards with that title, perhaps a website, and maybe you can actually earn money from it. The non-entrepreneurs will probably leave you alone if they see business cards or a website. And there you go, that's your "new" job ;-). Your secret is safe with us! That's what I do.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    It's actually not that hard so long as you pick a simple story and stick to it. My problem is that i can't bite my lip and shut the hell up. When i have a surplus of cash i talk about oh i'm buying this and that, oh yeah i have 2k per month to spend on renting a house etc... my mother is like wtf, you can't afford that!!! hehehe

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    hey there. i just wanted to add my few cents.

    i have told everybody that i work for an online bingo company.

    i say that my job is to go in the bingo chatroom and talk to the customers and make them spend more money on the bingo by having more fun. and then i moderate the forums and help confused customers and stuff. the bingo is 24/7 so sometimes i need to work late / early.

    everybody has fallen for it. they all think its amazing. i picked a random bingo site from the uk.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by TeenageAnnie View Post
    hey there. i just wanted to add my few cents.

    i have told everybody that i work for an online bingo company.

    i say that my job is to go in the bingo chatroom and talk to the customers and make them spend more money on the bingo by having more fun. and then i moderate the forums and help confused customers and stuff. the bingo is 24/7 so sometimes i need to work late / early.

    everybody has fallen for it. they all think its amazing. i picked a random bingo site from the uk.
    EEK the problem with that is when someone you know wants to join cause it sounds like so much fun!!!

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by gingergina View Post
    so, ive been living with this boyfriend of mine for almost 3 years now.
    and every time we meet anyone from his family or when he speaks with any of his brothers/mother/father/grandparents on the phone, they ALWAYS start to talk about me too - they ask how i am doing and am i still jobless. we have told them all countless times that i DO work, that i do many things, i make decent money, i just do it from home. we have come up with stories of freelance this and that, just almost every imaginable thing there is to be told about working from home. and still, THEY ALL think im not working. they insist i just sit at home and do nothing and live off that poor guy's money (yet i make more than he does). because of that i have decided i wont be meeting anyone from his family anymore. ive had enough of this polite smiling and telling that, you know, i actually work.
    just a bit ago he spoke with his grandmother again and AGAIN he was telling her that i DO HAVE A JOB, have had it for years.
    urgh its so annoying.
    I know that sucks, but they are not living your life. A lot of us here probably deal with some of the same thing. I know I have heard "Why don't you get a REAL job outside the house" "Do you really work?" "Damn how did you get money?" it is a pain in the ass. To the point where I distance myself from people who bug me like that.

    You will have to talk to your boyfriend and let him know that he has to tell them to just fuckin stop it already. It is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!

    I know easier said than done, but you have to work on that. You both have to work on getting them out of your personal space. Or they will ruin your relationship.
    Taking a break from all unproductive shit will prove to be the best choice you can make.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by MissKatie View Post
    EEK the problem with that is when someone you know wants to join cause it sounds like so much fun!!!
    Haha thats true but they won't join because none of them like bingo and they don't agree with gambling. And if they did I would say they can't because friends/family can't sign up cause I might get fired for cheating the system.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Be careful with the "not talking to his family" thing. The same thing happened with me and my ex. Keyword: ex.


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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    actually... there is another funny thing about it.
    the thing is that i do have a job. i do have a website. i do make some (extra/lunch) money that way. but still those amazing people around me dont think thats a job.
    i take photos. i make 3d images. i do it mostly for fun now. i sell those in stock photography sites. there are three magazines for which i occasionally take photos, including magazine covers. if you google my real name, a bunch of results come up with what ive been doing for 10+ years.
    i dont advertise it, im not looking for photography jobs, i am very picky about who i shoot even for money. but thats not a thing i tell everyone. for those out there - im a photographer and 3d artist, who also does lots of other stuff.

    wow, i just realised that im totally surrounded by assholes. one of those amazing people once told me (while telling me how to get a job) that when i write a resume, i shouldnt add anything photography related, as it doesnt make me look serious.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Well there you go hun. Fighting a losing battle and it's not worth it. Just do what you do and don't worry about others. It's all part of having that thick skin (((hugs)))

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dancing Days View Post
    Be careful with the "not talking to his family" thing. The same thing happened with me and my ex. Keyword: ex.
    been there, done that. thats why my husband is an ex-husband now and has been for quite a while.
    yet there was another reason for not talking to his family - his mum and sis kept telling him (even when i was around) that i was no good and that our marriage was such a bad decision.

    but thats long gone and in the past.

    ah im not even sure if i should be in a relationship, it would be so much easier to live alone, not to talk to anyone at all, not to see anyone.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Where's the fun in that? Come on now... we need drama to keep things interesting

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by gingergina View Post
    been there, done that. thats why my husband is an ex-husband now and has been for quite a while.
    yet there was another reason for not talking to his family - his mum and sis kept telling him (even when i was around) that i was no good and that our marriage was such a bad decision.

    but thats long gone and in the past.

    ah im not even sure if i should be in a relationship, it would be so much easier to live alone, not to talk to anyone at all, not to see anyone.
    After my ex's family found out, they stopped talking to me completely and wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. Then, they started pressuring my ex to dump me (we were engaged) and he told me "either you quit, or I won't marry you." He made my choice for me.


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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by MissKatie View Post
    Where's the fun in that? Come on now... we need drama to keep things interesting
    oh, im old and tired

    and - i intend not to have a regular job - ever. im going to be one of the grannies on cam or a star in some granny porn
    and by the time im too old to do it (does it ever happen? can you be too old?), i will have saved up enough money to retire and do absolutely nothing, but play with the five siamese cats i will have by then

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by Dancing Days View Post
    After my ex's family found out, they stopped talking to me completely and wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. Then, they started pressuring my ex to dump me (we were engaged) and he told me "either you quit, or I won't marry you." He made my choice for me.
    isnt that awesome?
    families can be so amazing sometimes.

    my bf doesnt exactly support the fact that im camming, but he somehow accepts it. i guess mostly because of the money i make and because im always around.... to make dinner
    we live in a tiny studio apartment (which i bought before i met him - and i wasnt planning to live with anyone, so it would have been perfect for me alone) and if i work when he is at home, he would often shoot me those disapproving looks from across the room and tell me that i got naked too fast or showed too much.
    i have no idea what would he do if his family found out and started nagging him about it.

    i guess im just thinking too much today.

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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    Quote Originally Posted by gingergina View Post
    isnt that awesome?
    families can be so amazing sometimes.

    my bf doesnt exactly support the fact that im camming, but he somehow accepts it. i guess mostly because of the money i make and because im always around.... to make dinner
    we live in a tiny studio apartment (which i bought before i met him - and i wasnt planning to live with anyone, so it would have been perfect for me alone) and if i work when he is at home, he would often shoot me those disapproving looks from across the room and tell me that i got naked too fast or showed too much.
    i have no idea what would he do if his family found out and started nagging him about it.

    i guess im just thinking too much today.
    Sounds a lot like the situation I was in. Tread lightly.


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    Default Re: ohmigosh I HAVE NO JOB! (vent)

    removed
    Last edited by Cam_Model_Jess; 01-22-2012 at 01:02 AM.

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