Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Location
    montreal
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    one of my long time friends came on msn to chat with me yesterday and she tells me shes pregnant.
    her:''im pregnant''
    me:'' lol im not surprised''
    her:''thanks for the support''
    me: well what do you want me to say...you keep telling you dont protect yourself and if it happens it happens
    her: well ive made my decision i want an abortion but i want to talk to my mom

    so heres the thing...my friend has been with her boyfriend for maybe 2months, she never used protection, she just quit her job, and she wants to get an abortion, but then she tells me she wants to keep it. Im pro choice but im not happy with her wanting to get an abortion as contraception, but she also(in my opinion) isnt responsible enough to take care of another human being.

    So what do i tell her???

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Citychick's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    london
    Posts
    502
    Thanks
    27
    Thanked 163 Times in 106 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by liljenna View Post
    one of my long time friends came on msn to chat with me yesterday and she tells me shes pregnant.
    her:''im pregnant''
    me:'' lol im not surprised''
    her:''thanks for the support''
    me: well what do you want me to say...you keep telling you dont protect yourself and if it happens it happens
    her: well ive made my decision i want an abortion but i want to talk to my mom

    so heres the thing...my friend has been with her boyfriend for maybe 2months, she never used protection, she just quit her job, and she wants to get an abortion, but then she tells me she wants to keep it. Im pro choice but im not happy with her wanting to get an abortion as contraception, but she also(in my opinion) isnt responsible enough to take care of another human being.

    So what do i tell her???


    Try and seperate your own morals from any advice you give her.
    Be neutral and if you can't be neutral then tell her you are not the best person to advise her.

  3. #3
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    4,570
    Thanks
    4,406
    Thanked 7,481 Times in 2,715 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by liljenna View Post
    So what do i tell her???
    The only thing that you can say and still keep her as a friend, which is that you support her in whatever she decides to do. She came to you looking for support and understanding, not for judgment.

    If there is one thing that I have learned in 41 years, it is that you cannot change what a person is going to do with herself. You have two real choices: Be there for her as she is and hope she eventually matures or, if you just cannot handle dealing with her, then distance yourself. The only thing that sermonizing will do is make her resent you and eventually drive her away anyway.

    Just my and good luck!

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to rickdugan For This Useful Post:


  5. #4
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Location
    montreal
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    thanks everyone

    ill just be neutral and support whatever decision she takes

  6. #5
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    ^^ that's the best way. If she needs you, whatever- but otherwise mind your own business.

  7. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    6,948
    Thanks
    2,845
    Thanked 5,526 Times in 3,113 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    Tell her it is her decision to make and it is impolite to put the burden of that decision on you.

  8. #7
    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Touring Louisiana
    Posts
    1,915
    Thanks
    532
    Thanked 1,536 Times in 735 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    How good of a friend is this anyway? Are we talking best friend who is otherwise an awesome person who you have a lot in common with, or just a so so friend who you keep around in spite of not having a lot in common with?
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

  9. #8
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    In your nightmares...
    Posts
    4,861
    Thanks
    1,334
    Thanked 2,291 Times in 1,133 Posts
    My Mood
    Devilish

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    She's made her decision. You simply support her. She's going to live her life however she wants. It's not up to you to change that.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to JayATee For This Useful Post:


  11. #9
    Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    30
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    If she is having second thoughts about abortion but she is in no shape to keep the child, would she consider adoption? I know it would be difficult to give up a child that grew in her womb but it can be a great gift to a sterile couple that is dying to adopt.

  12. #10
    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    japan
    Posts
    3,724
    Thanks
    315
    Thanked 1,186 Times in 703 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    Support her in whichever decision she makes. If she does get an abortion maybe you could use the opportunity to support her in getting birth control?
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


  13. #11
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2011
    Location
    montreal
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    bringonthemen/papillonluvr:
    as the oldest in our friend circle ive alway told her about birth control and couldnt stress her enough to get the pill or something. she always told me :'' ive never gotten pregnant or gotten diseases so if it happens, it happens''.

    fiendishgyrator: shes been a very close friend for 5years and for her im her best friend.

    billh:Ive told her about her three options(keep it, adopt it, or have an abortion). She wants nothing to do with adoption.

    Im trying to be a good friend and help her as much as possible without judgement. Ive had an abortion myself 1year ago( i was using contraception) so i know how it is. Ive told her how it wasnt fair for the baby for my bf and i to keep the baby when we werent mature enough to take care of it and also didnt have the money. but her she hasnt thought about that. shes been with her bf 2 months, they both just lost their jobs, and she thinks she could still take care of it anyways. so im just gonna let her do what she wants and shell have to live with her decision.

  14. #12
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    Man, maybe she needs to see a season of Teen Mom. That shit will stop you COLD from unprotected sex.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  15. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Optimist For This Useful Post:


  16. #13
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    534
    Thanks
    528
    Thanked 138 Times in 99 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    How old is ur friend? What kind of job did she have until recently, and does she have skills/education/etc to hopefully find a new source of income soon?

    If she wants to keep the baby, then u gotta be supportive if u want to keep her as a friend becuz nothing is worse than having someone hardsell an unwanted abortion or act like one is "not good enough" to be a mom. It'll just make her resent u and the stress could cause possible complications or miscarriage.

    About Teen Mom, I actually disagree that it necessarily scares girls into not having babies. IMO it glamorizes pregnancy for young girls. And a lotta the girls on there seem to have more things handed to them than most real life teen moms. E.g., nursery all set up before 28 wks?? Even I didn't have that done by that point in my first pregnancy and I was literally 10 yrs older than them when I was pregnant with my first, and owned a house and had a full time career making a solid middle class salary too. It took a frustrating amount of time waiting for contractors who'd flaked out, and then having to fire them and find new painters/carpeters/contractors instead...what a frustrating experience that first nursery was. And the parental support on those episodes is more than a lotta teens get too. If anything I think that show makes it look EASIER than it is, and they might throw in a few embarrassing or awkward moments like the one where one of the girls peed herself while pregnant, but even then she was laughing it off hysterically not even upset...like it was no big deal...In real life moments like that would NOT go as nonchalantly.

  17. #14
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    That's true. The parents are all very supportive and a lot of parents throw their kids out or denigrate them. Some are too poor or vindictive to set up a nursery much less baby sit for them. It's rough.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to Optimist For This Useful Post:


  19. #15
    Featured Member vivianbear's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Southern CA
    Posts
    1,507
    Thanks
    555
    Thanked 2,238 Times in 572 Posts

    Default Re: friend is pregnant and dont know what to do

    #TeamAbortion
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

    "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."






  20. The Following User Says Thank You to vivianbear For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Pregnant friend
    By Polekitten in forum Body Business
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 08-22-2021, 10:24 PM
  2. Are any of you pregnant or have cammed while being pregnant?
    By preggo in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-05-2011, 03:47 PM
  3. Best Friend Pregnant and I'm Mad
    By Electrum in forum Life Support
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-13-2009, 02:33 PM
  4. Pregnant (and not pregnant) nutrition
    By Lena in forum Body Business
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-30-2008, 12:06 PM
  5. Gift Ideas for pregnant friend
    By kermit210 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-07-2005, 08:15 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •