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Thread: Im New and I...

  1. #1
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    Dizzy Im New and I...

    ok so girls!! i need some help here lol i have been wanting to be a dancer FOREVER and i finally made it, passed my audition, and worked my first weekend last weekend!!

    My problem? i get stuck, nervous, anxious, when it comes to talking to customers!
    i have a hrd time keeping the converstaion flowing, and panic when i need to walk up to someone. i know theres threads about transitioning from bsing to asking for dances, but any additional tips would be SOO awesome!!!

    and one more thing, i run out of stuff to do on stage, and am really bad at giving attention to specific people sitting around the stage. just seems like a run out of ideas in both departments help ladies? ill be FOREVER grateful!!!

    thanks so much!
    <3 EvanLeigh

  2. #2
    Senior Member Rileygrl06's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im New and I...

    I'm not very good at talking to people, but at work sometimes it's almost hard to tell. When I tell my customers how shy I am, they laugh. The reason (besides getting a few prescriptions to help with social phobia) is that I've been at this job for five years and I've just gotten used to the general flow of conversation there. It's almost always the same. I sometimes feel like I'm reading from a script. When things get quiet, I have a "filing cabinet" of lines to choose from that can lead to different topics...I mainly talk about the job (most guys seem interested to get an insider pov) and school. One thing that makes it easier is that I prefer to talk to customers that I already know have an interest in me (have made eye contact, etc). That way they're the ones usually asking the questions and no matter what I say (or don't say) they'll like me. If I get stuck, I just squeeze their arm affectionately and smile.

    As for the stage, I have that problem, too. I'm naturally clumsy and very un-sexy. I have a pole at home to practice. I learned a few pole tricks and developed a three song routine to follow. No one seems to notice that I do the same moves and tricks in the same order every time and it fixes the awkward feeling on stage.

    You're new so it'll take some time to get comfortable, but once you find your rhythm, things will get a lot easier. Just relax and be yourself! If someone like me can figure it out, you sure can!

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    Senior Member Annastasi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im New and I...

    I'm shy, too. It was really wearing on me at first to try to find things to talk about all night, every night. What I'm slowly realizing is that it doesn't really matter too much what you say to most men.

    Ask them easy questions: How's your night going/Been here before/What brings you in? Yadda yadda...whatever they reply, smile, giggle like he's the funniest man alive, touch his leg. Make dirty puns whenever possible and segue into asking for a dance, i.e.: "Oh, it's so cold outside! I'm glad you came in so we can keep each other warm!"

    Really, it becomes automatic after a few months. 90% of the men I meet aren't looking for intellectual conversation, they want a pretty girl's attention for as long as they can get it.

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    Default Re: Im New and I...

    i am noticing a pattern of people making memberships and doing these drive-by posts asking for tailor-made advice instead of using the search function. por que?

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Im New and I...

    ^I think that even though there are threads on the same page asking the same shit... and even though they all get the same basic, generic advice... people feel more confident acceptable/following advice directed specifically at their situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Im New and I...

    Awe, Too be new again. That is the best time!!! It is when you know the hustle for what it is, when dancing becomes routine, boring, frustrating, and not as fun. At least it was this way for me. I am going back after 4 years off, that is why I clicked on your post. Even I am not looking forward to the things you are speaking of. However, for me, I will eventually fall back into the swing of things and be okay.

    For you, this will just take time and experience. The best thing to do for stage is: have a drink if you drink, it will loosen you up. If you don't then don't. Don't worry too much about the pole. Focus on the men. But at first focus on yourself--feel your body-not literally-but feel the ease of things, Relax, have fun. Don't stare at yourself in the mirror too much though, guys want that attentiion. You don't have to be the best dancer, just smile, have fun, give eye contact, and be sexy. I have never been the best stage dancer, but I think I make tips from my attitude up there.

    As for the approach and conversation. Go to the guys who have tipped you, they already like something about you. Tell them your new. I would think guys love this!! Your not a pro hustler, they are going to get the real, fresh you! The trick is small talk that gets them in a happy mood, no deep conversation allowed. You don't want to marry the guy, just have fun with him for a minute, and that is exactly what he wants to do with you.

    Give him some touches occasionally. That will break the ice and also keep him focused on you. The main thing is chemistry; if you both aren't feeling each other, then make an exuse that you have to pick your music or use the rest room or whatever, and say you hope to see him later and jet. If you are, wait a few songs, (this is how I time my stuff because music is always playing and you don't want to be caught looking at a watch) then pop the question. Would you like to go in the back with me? If he says no, try to change it. If he still says no, ask if he would like you to bring a different girl. If he says no to that, exuse yourself politely by saying well i had fun but i have to make some money, i have a huge bill due tomorrow, then if you were nice and respectful and smiled; give him some eye contact on stage later, at least he'll probably give you a dollar later. he may then even ask you to come back for a dance, maybe he wasn't ready at that time.

    warning: do not get stuck with those fast talkers. If you notice the guy trying to control the converstaion, and he won't shut up; he is trying to keep you there for free!!! Get away fast.

    The main thing is just have fun, you will make money, but guys can tell when your hustling them and they dont' like that. That is why you being new, actually helps. tell them that. but you are still in charge and dont forget it. they still need to know your confident.

    good luck, save your money and go to school. you CANT and dont want to do this forever.

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