Results 1 to 21 of 21

Thread: How to not get discouraged?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    146
    Thanks
    54
    Thanked 75 Times in 19 Posts

    Default How to not get discouraged?

    I had a horrible night yesterday - I sold two freaking dances in eight hours, and those were from the same custy at like 2:30am.
    I started off great, in a cheery mood, hustling everyone - not that there was a ton of people, but enough to make money. Nope.
    After a few hours of this and not selling a single dance, I just hid in the dressing room for most of the night. I was really upset and felt like crap. It didn't help that almost every guy I approached was a jerk either, but I was too depressed to tell them off. It scared me off from approaching anyone else.

    I guess I just need some advice on how to just brush it off and keep going, because I just could. not. do. it. anymore! This is only the second time it's happened, I usually get at least 10 dances even if it's slow, but if my night starts off badly I get too discouraged to try, and even if I force myself, my bad mood shows.

  2. #2
    Featured Member smeca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,150
    Thanks
    474
    Thanked 1,338 Times in 566 Posts
    My Mood
    Shocked

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    Aaaah I know these nights...:\ It's hard but all it takes is one good customer to put you in a good mood again- just someone normal and polite that won't whine about prices is good! You have to talk to everyone new that comes in though. The girls that do ok on bad nights seem to not be too phased by idiots and slow nights. (Someone on this forum suggested finishing guys' sentences in your head to stay amused- "no i dont want a dance thanks... i prefer men" haha). They keep busy, always look happy and confident and talk to everyone.

    It's hard if you rely on your dancing money for important stuff like rent but getting stressed and worried about money and looking unhappy does not help. I've found I am gradually losing the ability to stress out too much. Last night I was struggling after hours of being bored with no customers, and I had given up for a bit so i sat at the bar and vaguely joined in conversation with some guys there. One of them asked me for a dance, maybe the anti-hustle working?

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to smeca For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Senior Member missyqueenb's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    118
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked 80 Times in 39 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    On nights like this oyu HAVE to stay positive and realize that all it takes is 1 custie to make your night. When you start getting fustrated and depressed other custies sense it and are more likely to say no. How do you stay in a positive mood? When ive had alot of no's then i normally go to one of the club regulars that dont buy dances and have them fawn all over me telling me im beautiful which boost up my confidence to go at it again. I go talk to the bouncer or the dj bascially people who make me feel great about myself and who give me pep talks and then go at it again. Its great though that you stuck it out to the end cause i know alot of girls that dont and they end up losing poetenial money.
    On Top.

  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to missyqueenb For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Featured Member miss1dancypants's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    your dreams
    Posts
    1,394
    Thanks
    2,845
    Thanked 1,335 Times in 434 Posts
    My Mood
    Drunk

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    ^^^ I never really thought of this. If you work in a club where you like some other dancers/employees, chat them up. Many of them will give you a pep talk and help cheer you up. I love most the people I work with and we are all there for each other.

    When I first started dancing, I never wanted to admit when I was having a bad night--thinking it would make me look weak. One night I just had such a bad night, I had a customer flat out insult me about something I'm sensitive about (boob job scars still healing cuz i heal slow) and i ended up going in the dressing room and crying. straight up crying. about 6 girls came out back to comfort me. it felt really good. some were back there for a legit half hour. i told them not to worry about me and to get back on the floor and make money, i didn't want to keep them from making money, but they insisted on staying and cheering me up. that's when i started getting comfortable with my club and having it feel more like my "home" (as far as a strip club goes).

    the girls you work with may surprise you.

  7. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to miss1dancypants For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    mimosas?

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to camille27 For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Featured Member K Sweet's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    859
    Thanks
    892
    Thanked 547 Times in 221 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    I wouldn't stay in the dressing room, that's when you may miss out on a guy who will spend money and absolutely adore your company.

    I wouldn't focus on other girls (looks or money), just remember your positive attributes, and what makes you special and unique. Some nights it will feel like no one wants you, I think all of us have had those nights. On those nights, take it as a challenge to prove someone wrong.
    Goodbye Seattle Lusty Lady, where every Miss is a Hit, and every Hit is Missed. 1985-2010.

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to K Sweet For This Useful Post:


  12. #7
    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,961
    Thanks
    3,002
    Thanked 1,485 Times in 738 Posts
    My Mood
    Blah

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    *subscribes*

    i get discouraged knowing i have to talk to people when i go in.
    i dont like 'people'
    FUCK YEAH finally retired after 6 years dancing!!
    NEW to camming
    Use the discount code "DANCER" to get 15% off ALL mermaid bikinis & swimwear at



  13. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to anouk.oui For This Useful Post:


  14. #8
    Member AmazingAmazon's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Dallas, Texas
    Posts
    70
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 115 Times in 23 Posts
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    I've come up with my own personal mantra for those nights where my club is dead, the customers are rude, dances/drinks aren't being sold, tipping is not going on at the stage, and nights where I need to make my rent/bills/car payment the next day.

    My own personal mantra for slow/no-money nights:

    When there is no one in the club to see me,
    When there is no one tipping me on stage,
    When there is no one even "noticing" me dance on stage,
    When there is no one buying a lap dance from me,
    When there is no one buying you a drink for me,
    When there is no one that seems to take interest in me,
    That means that I am my one and only, greatest, and BEST customer of the night!

    I sell dances, and I sell drinks,
    I'm a great dancer, and I pay my tip-out,
    I pay my bills and my gas,
    I look great, and I smell wonderful,
    I am the best customer in my club!

    And another customer will come in and be envious of my patronage and compete with me!

    ***Thinking positive like this will help you in this industry/Economy. Not every night is a night that I've been able to personally pay my bills, and etc, but it was a night that I at least went home with a smile on my face, opposed to a frown.

    Remember ladies,
    Go hard or Go home! Don't give up!

  15. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to AmazingAmazon For This Useful Post:


  16. #9
    Veteran Member pipermonroe's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    458
    Thanks
    80
    Thanked 383 Times in 166 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    Amazon has a great point, and that is despite the number at the end of the night she is still awesome. It sounds too peppy when you've had a suck night, I know, but ultimately we are not equal to the number of dollars we bring home. (I have to remind myself of this every day)

    Being a dancer it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that who we are is equal to how good we look and how much money we make. Same for models, actresses, etc. So, when one of those two things isn't exactly as we want, we feel worthless. We get discouraged.

    I tell myself that being a top girl means learning to have thick enough skin to make it in this industry. Look at any industry worth making it in: sales, media, modeling, stripping, acting, entrepreneurship, etc. If you can't cut it mentally they will chew you up and spit you out. So are you going to let yourself get chewed up? I'm not. Yes the suck nights come, but what you do with them and how you react will determine if you are cut out to make it big/long term/to the point when you've got great experience under your belt.

    Make a list of the reasons your are a good, accomplished, on-your-way person. It should not have your looks or how much money you make. It should be a list of invariables - things that don't change. "I was saludatorian," "I am genuinely nice," "I volunteer," "I'm always there for my sisters," "I'm doing well in my classes," etc. Remember that THESE are the things that make you who you are, the real stuff. The rest comes out in the wash. Unless you are living way beyond your means or have a serious addiction, Amazon is right - most of us pay our bills and manage our lives just fine, even considering the suck nights.


  17. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to pipermonroe For This Useful Post:


  18. #10
    Featured Member *Jade*Love's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    839
    Thanks
    360
    Thanked 814 Times in 303 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    ^ Wonderful advice, thank you.

    The weekend at work was terrible and discouraging, but reading this thread reminds me to stay positive and not let it effect my wellbeing.

    Last night I was joking with a coworker about my cat being my #1 fan. And despite the club being full of assholes, if he had a pocketful of cash and could walk/talk, he would buy tons of dances from me and make it rain on stage. So fuck everyone. Funny to think about and instantly puts me in a better mood ^_^

  19. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to *Jade*Love For This Useful Post:


  20. #11
    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Melbourne, Aus
    Posts
    640
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 684 Times in 234 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    We've all had nights like these. It's hard but try not to let it show. As soon as I feel myself getting depressed and frustrated I head to the dressing room and:
    -fix my make-up and hair
    -change outfit
    -repeat positive things in my head to get myself back in a good mood
    -do stretches (just to be productive)
    that way when I get back on the floor with an honest smile on my face and looking my best.

    It's nights like these I'm also glad that I work in friendly clubs and will go out of my way to befriend girls at work. If there's no-one in buying dances I'll chat and joke around with the other girls and dance around the floor like a complete nutter. If I'm allowed I'll jump on stage and practice pole tricks.

    This way if customers come in first thing they see is me having a good time. And even if no-one comes in and I still make no money at least I've had fun and maybe learnt a new pole trick or two so my night wasn't a total waste.

  21. #12
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    amazon, that was a great post

  22. #13
    Veteran Member britchick85's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    499
    Thanks
    195
    Thanked 240 Times in 153 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    It might ot be the most professional advice but I find alcohol can really easy the pain of a shitty night.I really find I have more patience with dick head custys when I have a few drinks inside me!!!

  23. #14
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    4
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    Just watch this video. I watch it whenever someone tries to bring me down.

  24. The Following User Says Thank You to camgirl808 For This Useful Post:


  25. #15
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,066
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked 1,844 Times in 779 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    also, smile. your brain will get confused trying to sustain a bad mood while you are smiling.
    stay big picture. write down life goals. remember that one slow night is not the end of the world.

  26. #16
    Veteran Member pink_bunny's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Location
    the land of fantasy
    Posts
    571
    Thanks
    349
    Thanked 778 Times in 185 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    eh thanks for this good advice ladies. now,, the kicker- when you have too many girls working, a half empty floor, and girls in the back rolling their eyes and you and picking on your hair/makeup/outit, etc. I couldn't handle it all last night and I left early right as the crowd was starting to roll in. It seems there was a lot of really smug and stuck up girls I work with and a barrage of cheap guys early in the night. I wanted to bang my head against the dressing room table. Alcohol didn't really help, chatting with the dj did not. It was a two pronged attack of shittiness. What can you do to keep up your morale to go to work in a great mood next time?

  27. #17
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    27,134
    Thanks
    55,898
    Thanked 26,028 Times in 13,271 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    Bumping this, please I need to see this!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  28. #18
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    36
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    I like that! thank you babe
    Quote Originally Posted by AmazingAmazon View Post
    I've come up with my own personal mantra for those nights where my club is dead, the customers are rude, dances/drinks aren't being sold, tipping is not going on at the stage, and nights where I need to make my rent/bills/car payment the next day.

    My own personal mantra for slow/no-money nights:

    When there is no one in the club to see me,
    When there is no one tipping me on stage,
    When there is no one even "noticing" me dance on stage,
    When there is no one buying a lap dance from me,
    When there is no one buying you a drink for me,
    When there is no one that seems to take interest in me,
    That means that I am my one and only, greatest, and BEST customer of the night!

    I sell dances, and I sell drinks,
    I'm a great dancer, and I pay my tip-out,
    I pay my bills and my gas,
    I look great, and I smell wonderful,
    I am the best customer in my club!

    And another customer will come in and be envious of my patronage and compete with me!

    ***Thinking positive like this will help you in this industry/Economy. Not every night is a night that I've been able to personally pay my bills, and etc, but it was a night that I at least went home with a smile on my face, opposed to a frown.

    Remember ladies,
    Go hard or Go home! Don't give up!

  29. #19
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    188
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 76 Times in 56 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    Quote Originally Posted by *Jade*Love View Post
    ^ Wonderful advice, thank you.

    The weekend at work was terrible and discouraging, but reading this thread reminds me to stay positive and not let it effect my wellbeing.

    Last night I was joking with a coworker about my cat being my #1 fan. And despite the club being full of assholes, if he had a pocketful of cash and could walk/talk, he would buy tons of dances from me and make it rain on stage. So fuck everyone. Funny to think about and instantly puts me in a better mood ^_^
    lol! thats a cute mental picture

  30. #20
    Senior Member Holly_V's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    175
    Thanks
    212
    Thanked 191 Times in 84 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    It's really easy once you've had a sucky hour to start thinking negatively, then you give off a hostile vibe and it effects the rest of the night. Just keep chill, let it be water off a ducks back. If there wern't bad nights there would be no good nights. And always remember that you are gone with the wind fabulous lol

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k087bLUUJKk

  31. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Holly_V For This Useful Post:


  32. #21
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    208
    Thanks
    81
    Thanked 175 Times in 86 Posts

    Default Re: How to not get discouraged?

    Quote Originally Posted by pink_bunny View Post
    eh thanks for this good advice ladies. now,, the kicker- when you have too many girls working, a half empty floor, and girls in the back rolling their eyes and you and picking on your hair/makeup/outit, etc. I couldn't handle it all last night and I left early right as the crowd was starting to roll in. It seems there was a lot of really smug and stuck up girls I work with and a barrage of cheap guys early in the night. I wanted to bang my head against the dressing room table. Alcohol didn't really help, chatting with the dj did not. It was a two pronged attack of shittiness. What can you do to keep up your morale to go to work in a great mood next time?
    I'm someone who gets discouraged and burned out REALLY easily, so I totally understand where you are coming from. When I have trouble going into work after a string of really really shitty shifts, I go through my earnings notebook...it's a nice reminder that there are always clear skies after rainy days. I tell myself that if I miss a shift, I might be missing one of the amazing shifts; I'll read SW for a little extra boost, paint my nails, spend extra time on hair and makeup, and go at it again!

  33. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to fionatulip For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. discouraged!
    By CURIOUS07 in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-07-2009, 08:33 PM
  2. discouraged.
    By thisunrest in forum Body Business
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05-07-2008, 06:46 AM
  3. so discouraged!!
    By trulysweet in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 02-06-2008, 12:37 PM
  4. so discouraged
    By NewMoon in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12-20-2007, 10:47 PM
  5. Discouraged
    By Starfire in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 12-15-2004, 04:23 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •