Well I have not done anything yet, but these last few days I am wondering if I should say something to my brother.
My mother has been on unemployment for 12 weeks now. She has been able to pick up small jobs on the side (framing doors, laying brick, renovating a kitchen).
It has recently come to my attention that she is 2 months behind on her rent. The checks from unemployment should be more then enough to pay the rent every month.
On top of that collection agencies have been calling ME non-stop about her loans (I was not a cosigner thank god but she did give me as a family contact). Apparently she not only took out money on a bank loan but also took out money on a "payday loan".
My brother on the other hand is in NYC and is renting a room for $500 a month. He also pays for his cell phone (around $50), credit card bill (not sure how much that is), transit pass (somewhere around $100), electricity($50) and of course some food (say $300 a month) and dental insurance ($80). He works at a store full time hours (35-40 hrs) making $10.60 an hour. All in all I would say he makes $1200 or so a month.
My mother feels sorry for him and I do get that. He's down there alone trying to make things work for himself. And its hard living on a low wage. Problem is she has been sending him $300-400 a month. If I know him, he's not asking her for it, but she is offering it and he is taking her up on the offers.
I know if I mention to him how behind she is on her rent and how she has collectors calling my house 24/7 he will not take her money anymore and he will be very angry at her. But I don't really want to meddle like that in their relationship.
My mother is chronically bad with her money. For someone her age and with her qualifications she should be financially stable and owning her own stuff by now. She has a university degree, but that career she let go down the drain when I was a kid. She graduated university around the time I was born (she was 22 at the time), but never obtained stable work and really took advantage of my father. She just did not want to work. She divorced my dad and lied to a judge about him. When I was a preteen she managed to spend a ton of money but neglect to pay her rent thus getting us evicted from our home and making us homeless. My father tried to take custody claiming that she is not financially responsible (its very true!), but the CAS (child protection) got us instead. She did not let my dad know we were going to be homeless (and she refused to let me phone my dad and see him) and he did not find out until he got a call from the CAS asking him to come speak with a worker there.
Five years ago she got into a retraining program (which unemployment paid for) to get construction related certifications (tile laying, brick laying, grouting, moulding, etc). They gave her 27 certifications in the span of 1.5 years plus an apprenticeship. Keep in mind the university degree my mother got in 1985...well lets just say she owed over $50K to student loans which she never paid back.
When my father first met her in the 80's she was homeless and sleeping on random couches, all the while attending school. He said he met her in one of those 24/7 coffee shops and she was drooling on a pile of books, sleeping of course. He offered her a place to sleep and a job at one of his night clubs.
Now my father is dead and it is just my brother, mother and I. My mother lives 45 minutes from my house and my brother is in NYC.
My mom lives in a room in a rooming house. I just feel she is very irresponsible with her money and for someone her age she could be doing much better.
I don't want my brother to get angry and not contact her anymore. That's the one thing I would be afraid of. We talked a lot about my mother and her problems when we lived together a year ago. He said he feels ashamed that she is the way she is and that is why for so many years he only contacted her once a month. He wants to distance himself from her behaviour.



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