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Thread: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

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    Senior Member Slutdust's Avatar
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    Default need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    okay, i need girl support. i did a bad thing last night, and i'm feeling my guilt!!

    so, i've been hanging out with this really nice guy lately...this REALLY nice guy. i do NOT do boyfriends at this point in my life, and he knows that, but i could tell he really likes me/is a super-romantic at heart, etc.

    so, we've been hanging out for like two weeks, tops. the second time we hung out, he brought me to this super romantic hill/park near his place at night.

    ...last night, i brought my ex there, and we had loud sex at the bottom of the hill. as i'm in a mildly-drunk, doggy-style haze, i look up and see this other guy walk maybe fifteen feet away from us with his bike, down the hill, with his head down. holy fuck, busted. and yes, i saw the shadow of his fancy haircut, it HAD to be him.

    i feel terrible. honestly, i was nearing the point of being over hanging out with him, but...this was not the way i envisioned cutting things off, you know? he is a reallyyy nice, soft-natured, good-hearted guy, and he did NOT deserve that. total dumbass move on my part, but i really didn't think he hung out at that hill every night!

    anyway. he still has my $400 chanel sunglasses that i left at his place. i'm going to text him and ask if i can pick them up from his work tonight. ahhh. awkward. so awkward.

    am i a total POS?

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    Senior Member Slutdust's Avatar
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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    and like... what do i do now?

    pretend nothing ever happened? lie my face off and swear it wasn't me?

    or take responsibility for being a total asshole?

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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    Ouch. You have my sympathy girl. I've pulled some crazy ones like that myself and know how awkward it can be! However, it sounds like you were pretty up front with him about your boyfriend status and where you are in your life right now. Just hold your head high, and retrieve those Chanels with a smile.

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    Senior Member Slutdust's Avatar
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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anita_Shaft View Post
    Ouch. You have my sympathy girl. I've pulled some crazy ones like that myself and know how awkward it can be! However, it sounds like you were pretty up front with him about your boyfriend status and where you are in your life right now. Just hold your head high, and retrieve those Chanels with a smile.
    thanks =) i will sure do my best to hold my head high and get those chanels. ugh. oh well, i'm sure i deserve the shame i will endure. i'm a little glad i'm not the only one this has happened to though!

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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    You didn't really lead him on or promise him anything, but it sucks that he saw you. If you were that out int he open tho it's lucky you two didn't get arrested, yikes. I'd not mention it, but just go pick up your sunglasses from him and see if he says anything. To me it would be better if you backed off from seeing him at all after that. Seems like you really aren't ready for anything serious and he just might be.


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    Senior Member Slutdust's Avatar
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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    You didn't really lead him on or promise him anything, but it sucks that he saw you. If you were that out int he open tho it's lucky you two didn't get arrested, yikes. I'd not mention it, but just go pick up your sunglasses from him and see if he says anything. To me it would be better if you backed off from seeing him at all after that. Seems like you really aren't ready for anything serious and he just might be.
    yeah, i was ON ONE last night. i KNEW i wanted to have some in-public raunchy sex that night...my ex and i were attempting sex before that in some local nightclub. in the corner. well, i sure got my thrill i was seeking. yikes.

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    I wouldn't bring it up unless he does. If he does, I'd just apologize that he saw it, but don't make excuses for what you did or apologize for doing it since you'd made no promises to him.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    I wouldn't bring it up unless he does. If he does, I'd just apologize that he saw it, but don't make excuses for what you did or apologize for doing it since you'd made no promises to him.
    This exactly. The only thing more awkward than an awkward moment is when someone brings up how terribly awkward it is. Don't say anything unless he wants to say anything about it. And like Desuvs said, just apologize that he saw it, but not for doing it. I'm sure he feels shitty that he took you to such a romantic spot and then caught you sexing someone else there, so if he wants to withdraw from hurt, let him. It's understandable. But you were upfront with him, so don't go over the top apologizing for your actions. It's shitty that he saw it, but it was still within your right to do it.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 10-06-2011 at 04:46 PM.

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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    thanks for the advice!!

    i went in to his bar the other night to pick up my sunglasses, and he handed them to me in their case, in one piece, with a bracelet he made inside. uhhh, okay. my friend and i decided to stay and drink for a while, but she told me MY vibes were strange because i was being quiet and acting guilty. he usually texts me daily, but now he's only texted me once since then with something random. i don't know. it's weird. either way, i have no interest in continuing to hang out with him after all that, so i guess it's best to just leave the pieces on the floor and walk away...

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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    I don't think it's terrible that you had sex with another dude. No commitment, so whatever. What I do think sucks is fucking another guy in the place the first guy took you. That's like bringing a date to someone's favorite restaurant or bar. You know it's somewhere they like, so there's always a chance of seeing them there.

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    Default Re: need words of encouragement...i did a BAD.

    Well, I'm glad you were able to pick them up!

    It sounds like either: a - he didn't actually see you, and is just being a little odd because YOU are, or
    b - he saw you and feels a little awkward, but seeing as you had not made any commitment to him, he is being pretty sane about it.

    Either way - be glad you got your glasses back, be glad that he isn't angry/upset or causing a scene, and back off from him to avoid him getting hurt.
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