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Thread: Getting my regular to tip me

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    Default Getting my regular to tip me

    I have a regular who comes in almost everyday I work to buy dances. He never tips me after the dances and even asks for change back...which hardly any customers do. I appreciate the dances but the club charges a dance fee from every dance sold so I feel like a tip is appropriate. I've seen him tip the bartender 100 dollars once so it's not like he's unwise to tipping large. I just don't think he thinks about tipping dancers. Like the money for the dance is the tip I guess...

    Anyways is there a good way to bring up a tip without being rude or hurting his feelings (he's very sensitive and proud) or should I just suck it up and live with it.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Idk twinkle, if he is already spending a good chunk of money on the dances then you might risk of offending him or making him feel like you're squeezing him, but without a little more info. it is harder to say.

    How many dances does her ususally buy? How much is it per dance? Does he seem to have money to spare or does it seem like he's budgeting the amount he spends on dances? How much is your club taking per dance?

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Idk twinkle, if he is already spending a good chunk of money on the dances then you might risk of offending him or making him feel like you're squeezing him, but without a little more info. it is harder to say.

    How many dances does her ususally buy? How much is it per dance? Does he seem to have money to spare or does it seem like he's budgeting the amount he spends on dances? How much is your club taking per dance?

    Also,is he time efficient for you? Are you able to get your dances out of him quickly and move on or do you have to 'entertain' him for significant time before or after??

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Dances r 35 but club gets 5 or dances r 100 club gets 20. He usually does the 100 deal for one or two rounds. He does this 2 or 3 times a week when I work. And he is very needy about spending time before and after the dances and he's very jealous.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    If he takes up too much of your time before or after .....then that is not appropriate as time is money. Especially if he is there when the club is busy. If it is dead, he may not understand your need to move on to others. Asking for a tip is risky as you may alienate him and end up losing his money which over a month could add up to be significant. Pretty sure there are threads on here with hints about how to mention or ask for tips without sounding pushy....yet you still take the chance of losing him. Honestly, being asked for a tip annoys me.....sometimes I tip ....sometimes I dont and if the lady was too demanding or had an attitude...I have eliminated any chance of dances though I am more likely to tip if someone I have a history with.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    First, keep in mind that as far as he's concerned he is spending $100 - 200 on you per visit, two to three times per week. So from his perspective he is giving you anywhere from $200-600 per week. Guys don't normally know what the house is taking from each girl unless someone tells them.

    Having said that, his neediness before and after is an issue (great question raider). While I don't think it is unreasonable for him to expect a little time when he is a regular dropping decent money each week, neither can he own a large chunk of time if you are only making $80 - 160 each time he visits. So I do indeed think that you either need to ask him for a dance tip or that he otherwise give you something for your time if he is jamming you up.

    If he balks at being asked for more, explain to him that you need to pay the house for each dance AND you need to pay the club to work there, tip out the DJ, etc. Let him know that if you sit too long and don't make more money then you're going to leave with an empty purse and you won't be able to pay your bills - a little light pleading in your voice wouldn't hurt as you say that either. You'll also make him feel like you're letting him in on the inside workings and confiding in him. All of this should either prompt him to give you some more money or at least lessen whatever grudge he might have about letting you solicit other business. It might also help if you pop back over to him from time to time when you have nothing else going on, acting as if hanging with him is where you would rather be when you are not dealing with other guys.

    Anyway, just my and good luck!

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    thanks rick thats good advice.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    and it would be so nice to meet guys like you ITC since you seem to already know whats going on and how to be a nice customer to deal with.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    If he's not tipping you, he's a waste as a regular. The whole point of working is to get paid.
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
    and it would be so nice to meet guys like you ITC since you seem to already know whats going on and how to be a nice customer to deal with.
    Aw shucks - I'm not sure about how nice I am or how much I know, but thank you.

    Though as I skimmed through a few of your old posts, it is clear that you are among the savvier dancers. You are saving money, keeping on the move when it makes sense, and even smart enough to ask us PLs how to keep other PLs on the hook! Idk, but I suspect that my wallet would come under great strain if I ever met you in a club.

    But in the meantime good luck with your live one and I suspect that you will find a way to coax him into spending more, or at least make him less needy, and still keep him on the hook.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    It sounds like he is a good customer to me. Any guy who visits multiple times a week and spends consistently is a good customer in my book. Now, as others have said, if he's trying to monopolize your time before or after the dances that's another story. For what he is spending you should just be doing the dances and moving on the the next customer when he's done. Maybe a few minutes of polite conversation but you certainly shouldn't be expected to hang out with him. If he expects more face time he should be paying for it.

    FWIW, I think asking for a tip is crass. Customers don't know or care about your expenses as a dancer. All independent contractors have operating expenses. Any dancer who has ever asked me for a tip has only had the chance to do it once.

    Sorry, but $20 for 3 or 4 minutes work is good money any way you look at it. It is, of course, up to you how you maximize the time between when you are being paid to dance. If this guy is wasting your time then I would let him know that time is money and he needs to step up to the plate. If, OTOH, he is getting his dances and leaving you alone the rest of the time I think you should be grateful for his business and leave well enough alone...
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Sorry, but $20 for 3 or 4 minutes work is good money any way you look at it. It is, of course, up to you how you maximize the time between when you are being paid to dance. If this guy is wasting your time then I would let him know that time is money and he needs to step up to the plate. If, OTOH, he is getting his dances and leaving you alone the rest of the time I think you should be grateful for his business and leave well enough alone...

    Yoda, normally I would agree with you, but I think you may have missed this part:

    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
    Dances r 35 but club gets 5 or dances r 100 club gets 20. He usually does the 100 deal for one or two rounds. He does this 2 or 3 times a week when I work. And he is very needy about spending time before and after the dances and he's very jealous.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    I agree yoda I hate asking for tips and I think it looks tacky... If he tips great tho. How would u suggest letting him know time is money in the nicest way possible.

    I'm asking u guys mainly because my buisness pretty much runs entirely on regulars and in the past they get moody as hell I'd after we're done with our dances I excuse myself to see my next waiting regular instead of sitting with them for another 30-60 min. So no one is really happy in this situation my next customer is left waiting or my previous is left feeling abandoned. I'm trying to find a way to make everyone happy.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
    I'm asking u guys mainly because my buisness pretty much runs entirely on regulars and in the past they get moody as hell I'd after we're done with our dances I excuse myself to see my next waiting regular instead of sitting with them for another 30-60 min.
    Unfortunately this is not easy. You have to be prepared to possibly lose him as a customer if you say anything at all. That may be inevitable if he has already convinced himself that you owe him conversation time as part of the deal for the money he spends-you don't. If he protests when you get up to leave just tell him very nicely that, as much as you appreciate his company and his spending, you have to keep working. If you have to explain to him why he's not really worth the aggravation.

    I've said it here a hundred times as have others but it's still true. A regular almost always has a shelf life. The longer they stay with you the more they start to expect for the same amount of money spent. Once a guy loses sight of your need to earn he has become selfish. No matter how much he says he likes you or cares about you he is simply using you. Yes, I know you are using him too but it's all about ROI on both sides. He wants as much as he can get out of you and you need to maximize your earning potential during your shift. No dancer can live off of what one regular spends on her. He either gets that or he doesn't.
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Yoda, normally I would agree with you, but I think you may have missed this part:
    Precisely, you don't get to demand time and want to be treated with the utmost importance when you're not tipping. That's completely backwards.

    And honey, don't be afraid to ask for tips! That's our job. We make a LIVING off tips. He wouldn't work for free, neither should you.
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    If he's not tipping you, he's a waste as a regular. The whole point of working is to get paid.

    Of course, as it is 'your business' you are running when you are working in the club you are entitled to approach it with the guidelines you feel are comfortable and most lucrative to you.

    That being said....from MY viewpoint...... I come in and you spend ten minutes with me having a drink I bought and then we go and do $100 worth of dances (4 dances with $80 to you) and you go on your way. If you are considering me a waste of time because I didnt tip after spending 25-30 minutes with me and receiving $80 (my cost $100) then you woudn't have to worry about whether you got a tip or not from me in the future. Nor would you need to be concerned about me sending anyone your way that asked me about the dancers. Customers 'talk' just as much about dancers as dancers may talk about customers when in the dressing room.

    To restate......your business model. Obviously, you do what works well for you and use the approach with customers that will maximize your earnings. There are those of us you would lose but if you have developed well-paying, tipping customers.....ones like myself would not be missed.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by Raider View Post
    Of course, as it is 'your business' you are running when you are working in the club you are entitled to approach it with the guidelines you feel are comfortable and most lucrative to you.

    That being said....from MY viewpoint...... I come in and you spend ten minutes with me having a drink I bought and then we go and do $100 worth of dances (4 dances with $80 to you) and you go on your way. If you are considering me a waste of time because I didnt tip after spending 25-30 minutes with me and receiving $80 (my cost $100) then you woudn't have to worry about whether you got a tip or not from me in the future. Nor would you need to be concerned about me sending anyone your way that asked me about the dancers. Customers 'talk' just as much about dancers as dancers may talk about customers when in the dressing room.

    To restate......your business model. Obviously, you do what works well for you and use the approach with customers that will maximize your earnings. There are those of us you would lose but if you have developed well-paying, tipping customers.....ones like myself would not be missed.
    Except that you're quite obviously discounting this piece of information:

    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
    I appreciate the dances but the club charges a dance fee from every dance sold so I feel like a tip is appropriate.
    Regardless of what you spend, or how many drinks you buy me, I still wind up short. If you're a reg you know this. Not to mention, that you could potentially be wasting my time because not only can I get someone else to spend everything you did, but I can also make tips on top of it.

    You also imply that I'm being talked about because I'm business oriented and somehow not worth it. This is a business dear. I'm in no way rude hon. But if I'm working, I'm getting paid for it.
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    Precisely, you don't get to demand time and want to be treated with the utmost importance when you're not tipping. That's completely backwards.
    Agreed. I honestly don't think a customer ever gets to demand time in any case. It's a balancing act but ultimately the dancer has to decide what the best use of her time is.
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Yoda, normally I would agree with you, but I think you may have missed this part:
    Eh, I kinda blew by that part in favor of a more general first response. I know there are no dancers that are gonna agree with me but asking me for a tip on top of the couple of hundred bucks I just spent doesn't really go over to well with me. The quickest way to get a "see ya later" from me is to quote me a dance price "with tip".

    That being said, what we are dealing with in this particular thread is obviously a different scenario. A whinny regular needs to pay...
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    @JayATee While I may be discounting the dance fee a club charges for every dance, I am not ignoring it as indicated by my comment of $100 in dances and ($80 to you). If I am a regular who does not waste your time other than for ten minutes having a drink and you realize $80 from me for a half hour; I would not consider myself to be ''a waste''. Yet, it is you who ultimately decides whether I am worth it and if I fit your 'business model' based on your cost of working and what you feel is a legitmate earnings.

    As far as talking about a dancer....I dont know you and would never intentionally imply you weren't worth it as that would be totally insulting and rude. I am merely saying, if asking the customer for a tip...annoys that customer by doing so; they are not very likely to make a recommendation for that dancer when asked. So...the OP needs to realize she could lose that income by asking for a tip...no matter how cute she asks for it.

    Like I mentioned originally...if a dancer has developed regulars who dont waste their time and tip well....customers who dont tip wont be missed. Guess my belief is if I just put $80 in the dancers purse in a half hour, I dont feel like I am a waste or that she worked without getting paid for it. And then...to completely contradict myself......it is not like I have never tipped. Sometimes I do, sometimes I dont. Not based on anything except current financial situation. I am just against being asked for it. And sometimes I am good for more than the four dances.....
    Last edited by Raider; 10-07-2011 at 02:50 PM.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by Raider View Post
    @JayATee While I may be discounting the dance fee a club charges for every dance, I am not ignoring it as indicated by my comment of $100 in dances and ($80 to you). If I am a regular who does not waste your time other than for ten minutes having a drink and you realize $80 from me for a half hour; I would not consider myself to be ''a waste''. Yet, it is you who ultimately decides whether I am worth it and if I fit your 'business model' based on your cost of working and what you feel is a legitmate earnings.

    As far as talking about a dancer....I dont know you and would never intentionally imply you weren't worth it as that would be totally insulting and rude. I am merely saying, if asking the customer for a tip...annoys that customer by doing so; they are not very likely to make a recommendation for that dancer when asked. So...the OP needs to realize she could lose that income by asking for a tip...no matter how cute she asks for it.

    Like I mentioned originally...if a dancer has developed regulars who dont waste their time and tip well....customers who dont tip wont be missed. Guess my belief is if I just put $80 in the dancers purse in a half hour, I dont feel like I am a waste or that she worked without getting paid for it. And then...to completely contradict myself......it is not like I have never tipped. Sometimes I do, sometimes I dont. Not based on anything except current financial situation. I am just against being asked for it. And sometimes I am good for more than the four dances.....
    You're assuming she keeps 80 out of the 100. Truthfully, tips SHOULD BE ASSUMED. Do you tip your waitress the customary 15 or 20% even though you already spent money in the restaurant? Truthfully, this seems to be a winless argument. Since I happen to have some respect for you I think I'll bow out.
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    I've seen more than one implication that asking for a tip will lose a customer. This doesn't have to be the case. If you say something during the pre-dance conversation along the lines of "I'm always happy to get tips to show gratitude," then the customer can take the hint or choose to ignore the comment. If he choose to ignore the comment then you likely will have the following choices:
    1) selling 3-5 tipless dances practically every damn day or
    2) immediately moving on after the dances and try to find a buyer that tips. You might be able to find that guy. Or not. You might lose your regular. Or not. Best way to find out is to test it, assuming the risk is acceptable.

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Quote Originally Posted by Asian Sensation View Post
    If you say something during the pre-dance conversation along the lines of "I'm always happy to get tips to show gratitude," then the customer can take the hint or choose to ignore the comment. If he choose to ignore the comment then you likely will have the following choices:
    Actually I predict she will have no choices since the guy will most likely leave and go find another dancer. You're dreaming if you think any guy is going to take your proposed subtle suggestion of a tip as anything other than a flat-out request.

    Again, I have no problem with the concept of tipping. I'm not cheap but I'm not a pushover. I work as an independent contractor as well so I am very aware of the fact that my entire day rate does not go into my pocket as pure profit. In the club, I seldom do individual dances but when I do I generally tip a few bucks over the price of the dance-most definitely if it was during a club's discount dance day. That being said, asking, in any way shape or form, is just crass to me. It's no different than the girls who walk around soliciting mercy tips just by walking up to you at the bar and acting like they have done something to deserve a tip. Now, if you are absolutely bound and determined to ask at least have the class to do it after you have actually provided a service. I don't particularly agree with the waitress analogy but lets be honest here, waitresses, bartenders and other tipped employees don't expect you to tip them until they actually do something. Just showing up for work doesn't qualify.
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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Twinkle, exactly how much of your time is he eating up outside of dances?

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    Default Re: Getting my regular to tip me

    Yoda, totally agree. I tip waitresses, bartendars 25-30% consistently. Yet if that waitress 'owned' the alcohol she was bringing me and already had made $8 off of selling me the drink, I would probably not be tipping. If she felt serving me for a mere $8 was a waste...I would find another waitress. Probably a stupid analogy, but........

    The scenario can best be probably summed up with the thought that the differing views are self serving. Ladies obviously want the tip to max earnings; feel they deserve more and customers want to minimize expenses, feeling they are adequately compensated. Neither are probably totally right or totally wrong. The ladies are associating their services with those of waitresses, bartendars and beauticians; who consistently get tips. Perhaps, the customers are associating the scenario more with lawyer, accountant or Yoda's scenario as independent contractor who we feel are compensated for their services when paid. A scenario of agree.....to disagree.

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