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Thread: Turning my life around?

  1. #1
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    Sad Turning my life around?

    Hey everyone,

    I've been lurking for ages around here and finally decided to post. Need some help and I feel like some of you could relate.

    I have been a dancer for four and a half years now, am turing 27 pretty soon. I didn't graduate from high school (sad tale of bad childhood, getting pregnant young etc etc) but I did get my GED, and after that I worked as an office assistant. I was so bored at my job and made little money so I turned to stripping. It's been great, but I am so done. I have my little boy growing up now and I want to be an example to him. I want to get into a college and make something out of myself.

    Problem is, I feel so old and like it's too late to go back to school. I also feel so lame for wasting this much time. Thinking about joining the army, that way I can have school paid for and also it would be an adventure, something new. Or I could get a job like maybe waitressing? I feel like if I settled for a waitressing job I will regret it.

    Anyway, to make a long story short, what do you guys think? Is the Army a good idea? I'm just so connfused on the direction my life is going. I don't have any family that I can turn to or anything like that.

    Thanks for reading!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Turning my life around?

    Why do you feel like you're a "bad" example now? Sounds like you've got a lot going on anyway. Don't beat yourself up even more :/

    I think that joining the army could potentially make you unable to be in your son's life as much as you ought to be. There's training first, then what if you have to relocate? Some of my friends went in thinking they'd sign up for a few years, get job training, and at worst, be forced into good physical shape. Many of them were sent overseas. That's doable for someone who is young and has no obligations, but what would happen to your son if that were the case for you?

    Have you considered continuing stripping for a while to save cash and while so doing, getting training for another profession? You've already said being a waitress is settling for you, so don't kid yourself into thinking you may find it fulfilling. I realize many people get tired of dancing (and I have no room to bitch because I'm only a month in, so I can't imagine four and a half years), but damn, it's a great opportunity for money. I really think your best bet is to go to a community college and get lower cost training in a field you may find interest in. Phlebotomy, paralegal studies, dental assistant, cosmetology? That way, you're marketable and you haven't invested huge sums of cash in a four year degree.

    If you go this route and continue dancing, you can remind yourself each night that you are doing it for your and your son's future. Having a clear goal (Ex.: I need x-amount by January to begin my first semester so that I can start my new job/life) can help combat burnout, I think. Each night you're dancing is one night closer to the changes you want.

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    Featured Member silk55's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning my life around?

    What would you like to do as a career? The Army has good and bad aspects to it. I went in 2 weeks after graduating HS and got out at 21. So I can fill you in. What ever a recruiter say's is complete BS! There are some other guys on this forum that can give you input on being in the service.
    "The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works" -GORDON GECCO

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    Default Re: Turning my life around?

    I agree with the above poster. ^ Joining the army may not allow u the time with ur child u now have. The area I live in has the world's largest concentration of military and the military w all its benefits has many drawbacks. Everyone who has been dancing for a little while gets burnt out on dancing. I think u r struggling with the stigma attached to dancing. Hey if U dont want to live with it anymore then take the leap out of it. Sadly most jobs do not pay that well outside of dancing. yes I do understand that there are jobs that pay better than dancing out there but they r limited currently. Everyone who looks down on dancing needs to take a second look bc even though the business sucks now the avg job sucks more. F the stigma.

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    Senior Member Blu_Rayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Turning my life around?

    What would you do with your kid if you joined the army?

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    Default Re: Turning my life around?

    WHat city are you in??If your in a big city get a waitressing job at a busy resturant...sometimes the money can be just as good as stripping (sometimes) Also 27 is not old for school.Even though I'm 22 there are lost of late-20's early 30's at my college married, kids and all.

    I think if you go in knowing exactly what you want to do its better so you won't waste anymore time...and in this economy if your going to leave dancing its better to take the time get the degree and do TONS of internships...and waitressing is flexable especially if you can find an overnight gig...Try Ihop or something

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  10. #7
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    Default Re: Turning my life around?

    Thanks everyone! I'll answer to each, individually:


    tuesdaymarie - I know I shouldn't feel bad but I really do. I want my son to look up to me and I want to like what I do and be proud of it. When I was a kid I had huge dreams and I feel like I let myself down. I know I wouldn't be very happy with cosmotology, being a dental assistant etc. I want to go to Journalism school, something big to strive for. I want to provide him with good things in this life.


    silk55 - That would be such a great help if you could give me all the scoop! I am very interested in the Public Affairs Broadcast Specialist job. I know I have to get a great ASVAB score.


    shift_6x - I know, stripping has been good to me but I cannot do it forever and it's getting to he point I hate going into work. Anxiety, stress, etc. RI and MA clubs aren't that great either.

    Blu_Rayne - His daddy wsould take care of him. It would hurt so bad to be apart but if it helps us in the long end it's worth the sacrifice.

    MISS.NY - I think waitressing will be a great idea, I have a job lined up but the reason I'm thinking Army is that my education will be paid for and I won't have to struggle with waitressing/school/raising my son. I'm in Rhode Island and I seriously hate it here.

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