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Last edited by Roxychu; 03-18-2013 at 06:57 PM.
"Goodbye."
I shouldn't even try and point out he's being a cheap ass?



No, he knows he's being cheap and a real sugar daddy is not going to point out the other things he gave you. A real sugar daddy enjoys your company and enjoys doing things for you. And a camera and hotel room ( which he should be expected to pay for) is really not that much money for someone who wants to have that type of arrangement.
Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild?...... Money





christ, this board is full of information, there are so many things you do not need to learn by trial and error but there seems to be this intense aversion to the search function.
there is nothing to say because he got exactly what he wanted twice in exchange for dinner and drinks.
self-esteem and self-love are magical things.




So, you said "NO" to $500 when he offered it the first time and then fucked him twice for nothing but a hotel, a camera and a dinner? Are you shocked? SMH.
This is called "shooting yourself in the foot". Lesson learned. Good luck next time.
"SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)
"Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."
Hey wait wait! I asked for advice not to be made to feel worse than I do.
I have self esteem thank you very much and I turned down 500 hundred because I wanted a proper arrangement not some one off thing, which it was. I didn't fuck him for the hotel camera and a dinner that was a given, and actually he's offered to reimburse me without any expectations at a later date because he was unsure of what the boundaries were. No sex this time.




Never turn down money! Accepting $500 would have set the precedent that he must pay for your time. What's a "proper arrangement", if not one where he willingly pays you? Don't let him dictate the amounts! That's up to you. Be decisive, in your expectations for money. If you actually believe he'll reimburse you, that's your risk.
"SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)
"Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."
Well, Im not attacking you here but you saying "but Im attractive, I'm a good time" & "yes it was rude to ask for money" & "goodbye? but shouldnt I tell him he is cheap" & "but he'll reimburse me..." are ALL self-esteem issues.
Look I think I'm pretty cool but my self-esteem largely needs work, and it IS work. It isn't an unconscious state of awesome. Seriously. Don't take it as an insult. I say affirmations all the time like that SNL character Stuart Smalley.
His nonpayment wasn't an assessment of your worth or value as a woman. He just didn't pay because he hustled you. He smelled a novice, saw an opportunity for financial coercion and leapt in. It sounds like you were pretty open & vulnerable with him which has got to hurt, so I'm sorry.
IDK your post kind of broke my heart a bit. This is why the mass appeal and popularization of SB/SD culture is a bad idea. College students wander in it expecting easy money for being pretty and then get wooed by charisma & jerks with hardons and little $ see a great open field of fat sluggish antelopes to go in for the kill. The hustlers shouldn't be getting hustled but this kind of story is becoming more and more frequent.
Within the first few meetings all he is is a business transaction and you are a paid service. You set the boundaries and the hustle. You have to be hardened - if he knows youre dead broke then that should be a part of an intentional strategy not something you hope he remembers. Never turn down money - most online-arranged SD's bail, you need cash in hand, all else is talk. Don't rely on just one guy either. Honestly I want to say try other things but... basically please read hustle hut.
If it helps - many years ago I was in a (mostly) similar scenario with some details changed. Whenever I look back on it - yea the person involved saw an opportunity to take advantage and definitely did... but largely what I recall is "damn, my self esteem suuuuuuuuuucked. never again."
I guess I wasn't really seeing it as work as I said I enjoyed his company but not in an emotional way but it's partially my fault for not deciding what I wanted at the beginning I didn't really work it out. I've sugardaddied before but been more clear on that but I guess I didn't stick to the usual rules.
I find it hard to be assertive when I strip the rules and expectations are precreated I don't have to depend on me having to awkwardly bring the subject of cash up.
Lesson learnt. I think I'll keep away from sugardaddying for the foreseeable future it's time consuming for something that's really a hobby.
Sorry I took that badly, uhm I guess I find SW to be a little too tough love sometimes.
That's the thing I've dabbled in things like this for about 3 years now but I'm still maybe a soft touch but then it's kinda how I am.



The problem is, every man thinks he can be a sugar daddy if he makes more than 10.00 an hour lol. I had a guy contact me the other day about becoming my daddy. Now, he found me through backpage which I advertise escorting on. (BTW lately has been a lot of bullshitters) I let him send me some pm's and when I asked him what his idea of a monthly allowance should be he said 40 dollars a week!I told him that he obviously did not know the meaning of being a sugar daddy and that I can make more than that in 15 minutes. I have two sugar daddys right now. I see them both bi monthly. They pay my bills. I'm somewhat in debt so they are actually paying that, but when I'm not I will have nothing to pay. But they both know and have known from the beginning that there is no seeing me without my money. Not for dinner, not to go dancing, nothing. I will occasionally talk through e mail but only to keep in contact and plan our next meeting. Both of them are married. My friend has been searching for one and has been striking out too. Even found a daddy who had a roommate?!?! I actually found both on cl believe it or not. I've been on SA and WYP, nothing good turned up yet. And I've found since both sites have been publicized all over more losers have joined.
Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild?...... Money




As an observer, it seems to me that you've treated this as dating, not business. Ultimately, sugar is a job, like anything else in the industry.
- You didn't take money because it seemed impersonal
- You talk about witholding sex till the 3rd date and not wanting to accept money because you weren't expecting it or wanting it since you liked his company
- You had sex with him almost immediately without any significant money exchange first
It's really nice when you hit it off with your SD and you enjoy his company, but that is not the reason to turn down money. Money should be the reason you are entering the arrangement in the first place. If having sex with your SD at all, I'd make sure there's substantial financial gain in it for me first...established.
I don't doubt you're cute and good company, but you have run into someone who knew what he was doing, you made some wrong steps, he noticed and used the opportunity. I don't think anyone here is trying to make you feel worse than you feel, but it's better to know where you took the wrong turn, isn't it? Don't dwell on this, but learn from it...at least if you try again, you will (hopefully) know what NOT to do.
You say it's not a self-esteem issue, but it is. You are also scared of rejection and taking an ego hit. You need a thicker, tougher skin chick!
You may think you're pretty and a "good time" (he certainly had a "good time" on the cheap!) ...but you obviously either don't think you're worth $500, or you don't really think he'd give you the $500 (in which case, you shouldn't have been spending time with him in the first place).
You were scared he'd balk and say "no" if you said "$500" (fear of rejection + fear of ego since you had already slept with him) ...so you left it up to him to and you got burned @$80.
I'm not saying all of this to put you down. Hell, I've been in a similar situation (though not quite as little $) when I was playing with fake SD's before escorting. I'm saying this so you get a clear picture. Sometimes learning bruises the ego (it did mine!)
The only way to learn to play the game well is to understand ALL sides of it (even the ugly sides).
You ARE worth the 500, 2000 etc. and they should be paying it! If they don't, they are NOT an SD or a client - He is just hustling you and getting ass on the cheap! Beware, most of these guys know exactly what they're doing and have been doing it for a long, long time (sometimes several times each week with different girls who are new to this game too).
I'm sorry that this happened to you, but take this experience and learn from it and the next time be the hustler, not the hustled!![]()
Thanks guys, he's messaged to say because he doesn't want me to feel offended he'd like to send some more pounds. It still isn't enough but I'm planning on taking it (cutting my losses) and then not bothering with the arrangemen. What are some of the safer ways to get it sent?
I don't have a PO box, do things like paypal or bank transfers hide my address?



i dunno if i'd drop him straight up but i would find away to let him know that type of shit isn't gonna fly. if he gave me back talk about it to much i'd drop his ass. you know what your worth and if he isn't gonna do it n e x t...




You can get a payoneer account and he'll just send it to your email.
I would probably pick it up in person.
That way you can say, "look, I like you a lot, but this arrangement isn't working well for me. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt that you'd know what was appropriate to give me, but that isn't the case. From now on, I'm going to have to collect 500 pounds from you each time we meet up. If that doesn't work for you, I already have two potential sugardaddies who want to meet up, and one of those wants to take me shopping for several hours and has promised to book time for both of us to go to a spa. Like I said, I like you and I think we get along well, but I'd be shooting myself in the foot if I let things keep going on like this. Are you going to treat me the way you should have been treating me all along, or are you going to go take your chances on finding someone even half as wonderful as me?"
Ungoogle yourself:
Also, now offering phone sexins!
Uh well he's paypalled some cash now. I don't know I might hand up my sugar daddy boots any ways it fits better with my personal life. I'll definitely keep some lines like that in mind if i go for it again.




^why not just tell him that? I mean, if you're fine with not continuing with him, you may as well see what he says and see if you can suck more money out of him.
And if he walks away, well, you were already planning on doing that so big deal.
Ungoogle yourself:
Also, now offering phone sexins!
I might give that a shot but he's gone all 'you just want me for my money, I want to feel desired blah blah' sounds like a middle-aged housewife. I found it amusing how in his email he just went on about how great i was and how sad he was about it but didnt say he doesnt want to continue maybe he's expecting me to panic and be all doting. I'll try and frame what you said nicely etc.



If he doesn't want to be desired for his money he shouldn't be a sugardaddy. Why waste your time? I have friends and lovers. When I want a pleasant evening I spend it with them. If a sugar isn't spending then they can just move along. Also you might want to skip the sex, you'll find they spend more.![]()





just stop talking to him.
why do some of you choose to unnecessarily complicate your lives?





He's being cheap because you had sex with him right away. You're not a sugarbaby, just a discounted hooker.
Last edited by karmachill; 10-14-2011 at 08:22 PM.
I didn't have sex with him right away geez you're implying I'd be clamouring for it, he himself was always going on about me being unobtainable roxy. So I don't know whether you're tranna get a rise by calling me cheap hooker but I never once in this thread asked for a definition of what anyone feels I am, which is a good job because I don't think any of you know me well enough to tell me. I also like how you're using hooker as an insult on a board of people who are pro prostitution. All sugarbabys to some extent probably involve themselves in acts of what could be seem as a form of a prostitution as could just normal dating, but I'd say the circumstance is still different so I'd probably say I was a in that sense a different job definition to a hooker.
Secondly the advice is appreciated but I not many arrangements like that are sucessful with no sex, that's one of the main ways you stroke their ego so they drop their cash.
Thirdly I did give him what he wanted I just didn't make it clear what I expected back. He gets excited enough as it is if we had anal which I'm not up for he'd probably have cum before even entering. I've been offered £2000 for just basic sex (said no I felt it was too cold) aha so I don't think that's an issue.
I think my problem is I don't see it as a 'job' I see it as a hobby if anything, I like being around him he's good company and yes I expect reimbursement but not if it makes it cold and transactional. My comfort and happiness is more important to me which is why I've done it that way, I only got burnt when I tried to make it transactional I could of brought it up in a completely different way and got more. I guess I don't mind less money if I'm more happy.





Sorry but it sounds like you are confused about what you want from a SD relationship. I know girls who do this and MONEY is #1, In fact, it's #2 and #3 as well.
If you are looking for some magic formula that gets his money into your possession without you having to feel like a prostitute once in a while it doesn't exist. I wish you the best of luck but I think it's best to cut the cord with this guy unless you are interested in just dating him. He's already established his definition of the relationship and I doubt you can change it.
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