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Thread: Think I've done something stupid...

  1. #1
    Veteran Member siliconedoll's Avatar
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    Default Think I've done something stupid...

    Apologies for the length but I'm pretty worried and could do with some advice.

    A couple of weeks ago I had an Arab customer come in who I had not met before. I did a few dances for him and the next night he came back for me and spent 3 hours with me (I was charging hourly). He didn't have any dances, we just sat and chatted, he seemed really nice. He lives in the Middle East but comes to my town a few times a year where he has a holiday home.

    He said he knew our waitress and he liked her but I didn't think much of it at the time. He was obviously quite wealthy and had no problem spending money on me whilst at the same time being very polite and to be honest I was quite flattered at getting such a good customer (I'm not generally a top earner) and hoped I could turn him into a regular.

    He said he would like to come into the club and see me when he next comes to town at the end of the year. I thought he seemed like a good potential customer so I swapped numbers with him. I have never done this in six years of dancing but I took a chance because I didnt want to lose him to another girl if he came in for me on my night off. I figured as he lives abroad it wasnt too much of an issue.

    He sent me a couple of nice enough texts but didnt exactly harrass me. Then he started texting telling me saying he urgently needed to speak to our waitress and could I pass his number onto her. I found it rather bizarre so I didnt say anything to her but he kept on about it. He also said he would like to fly back next month for a week especially to see me.

    So last night I passed the message onto her and she told me that back when she used to dance he was her customer and at first he seemed nice and gave a lot of money but that he started following her out of the club and turned up at bars she went to on her nights off etc. She said the doormen had to walk her to her car but he still wasn't deterred. Apparently it got so out of hand that a male friend of hers knocked him out and the police got involved.

    She told me that the other day when he came to see me, whilst I was in the toilet he asked to meet her out of work so he could give her money for her daughter as he wanted to treat the child as his own but she made excuses.

    So basically the one customer I've exchanged numbers with stalked his last dancer. We do look quite similar too. Now I'm really worried, he wants to come back and see me and I need the money, it felt like such easy money too. But I cannot handle any stalkerish behaviour, I live 2 streets away from the club and always walk home.

    I feel so stupid for letting someone have my number and for having such poor character judgement especially after so many years in the job.

    What should I do? Should I just act like nothing's changed, keep getting paid but be wary or should I end things before they've really begun?

  2. #2
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    First of all, stop beating yourself up over this! Many dancers give their numbers to customers they believe may become regulars, it's totally normal. I'm assuming you gave him a cell number? So he won't be able to find out where you live and all, just make sure no one follows you home. Take a cab if you're really nervous, or go to a friends house after work.

    I think you have valid reason to be concerned because of what the waitress told you, so use caution if you chose to see him again and make sure you are in control of the situation. Just text him, no phone calls, it allows you to have more control over your conversations. If he wants to see you at the club again, make sure you come in well before your scheduled meet-up time to make sure he doesn't see where you're coming from.

    Also keep in mind that if this waitress was the guy's old dancer...she may well be telling you these things to scare you off because she wants to keep the guy's money for herself! How well do you know/trust this waitress to believe her story?

    If he was that good of a customer I don't think there's any reason why you shouldn't see him again--AS LONG as he does not get "creepy". So just use your head, and gauge the situation as it plays out. If he gets wierd tell him you can't see him anymore for whatever reason--moving, found a vanilla job, going on vaccation, starting school, whatever.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    It seems to me that he's still hung up on this waitress and is trying to use you to gain access to her again by giving you messages for her and just using you as an excuse to be in club. I bet when he comes back for that week he'll be hoping to see her in the club too and will likely try and talk to her again. This means that may not be a huge threat to you, per say, but you never know.

    So, if he comes back to the club, don't walk home that night. Take a cab and meet up with a friend somewhere for a while before taking a cab back home from a different location to keep him from figuring out where you live. If he's as crazy as this waitress says he is, there's no saying he won't follow you, but at least this way you won't be leading him right to your home.

    Hopefully the bouncers already recognize his face because of the waitress' incidences, so it won't be much more effort for them to be on the lookout for you as well. Stay smart and always be aware of your surroundings when you know he's in town.

    I might recommend cooling off the contact with him as well - like don't pass any other messages between him and the waitress because that's just enabling his behaviour towards her. If you notice his texts getting creepy, it would likely be wise to cut off contact fully. Sucks to lose out on the money, but do you really want to go through what that waitress did?

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  6. #4
    Veteran Member siliconedoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    Odette- thanks I do have a tendency to freak out at myself for things but you're right its not that big a deal, in fact I feel a lot less worried just by posting this thread.

    I trust the waitress a reasonable amount, she called the bouncer over and asked him to confirm her story.

    Shanna- I did think about that, I think he's more interested in her than me which is fine by me as long as he still pays me hourly and doesn't get weird with either of us. I guess I'll just take precautions when I know he's in the area and have minimal contact with him, enough to look polite and make arrangements for him to meet me at the club but not enough to lead him on or make him think I have any interest other than business with him.

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    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    Maybe get a cab home from the club next time, have a bouncer walk you out? If you can get good money from this guy, pay a few bucks for a cab, have the driver drive you around the block or something?
    InnesX

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    Featured Member Stripper Hacks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    He is a manipulator so don't beat yourself up over giving out your number.

    Just keep it business as usual. What will happen is he will lose interest if there is money involved. If you give any indication or play up that you might be interested at all he'll try and control you.

    I'm always wary when customers say "I'm friends with..." someone at the club. They're building trust by name dropping and they most likely have an agenda.

    Did he not think that the two of you would talk about him? Weird.

    Be safe and have someone pick you up or take you home when he's in town.




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  11. #7
    Veteran Member siliconedoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    It suggests that he doesn't see his behaviour towards the waitress as odd or inappropriate. I don't know if thats a culture thing or just the way he is. TBH I don't think he'll last very long as my customer, he'll probably get fed up quite quickly of paying by the hour and I can see him trying to emotionally blackmail me by saying but I flew all the way out here to see you as a way of trying to see me OTC which I would never allow.

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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    This is why you should set up a customer line so they wont have your real number. Lots of apps like "text Free" give you a new number with no trace back to your personal info. Google voice and other services are available too. Then milk him in the club and stay away from him OTC.
    "Where there is love there is life"-Mahatma Gandhi

    "Be The Best, F!ck The Rest"- P.P.


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    Default Re: Think I've done something stupid...

    Don't worry about the number. He could follow you home whether he has your number or not. I would just wait till the next time he comes in and when he sits with you and asks how you are just say you are doing really great because you are moving in with your new boyfriend. And you know its kinda fast but "its all been so amazing and Im really happy". Then say something about him being a police officer so you are thinking about quitting dancing.

    I doubt he'll bother you again after that. If he comes in again and asks you about it just say its going great! and move on to another customer and just avoid him.

    You didn't do anything wrong IMO. Its not your fault a weirdo took a liking to you. If he was so awful that girl should have come told you when she saw you talking to him. Thats what I would do. I wouldn't trust her. Why wouldnt she have said something after she saw you with him for hours?

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