Feel free to ignore just another of my long-winded rants... I know I'm a hot mess right now lol
God, I feel like my life is being royally raped in the ass these past couple weeks, and now I can’t even turn to my best friend for comfort, because lately she’s being super judgmental and mean to me. I’ve never had her criticize me for so many things in such a short period of time before...
First, we were talking about how I need another job since my new one isn’t working out. She said that she thought about recommending me for a job at a nursing home, but didn’t want to cuz she thinks I’m unfit for customer service. She believes I’d get annoyed and either yell and be mean to old people, or bitch to other coworkers about things that annoy me and it would make her look bad. Now, I know I bitch about work outside of work, but my customer service and work ethic at work are fucking immaculate. It’s one of the few things I pride myself on, so to have someone who has never even seen me work or interact with customers say that she doesn’t want to be associated with my customer service skills is incredibly insulting. And I told her so. She said she still wouldn’t want me to make her look bad by complaining about work to coworkers even though, in her own words, “of course you’ll do it, everyone does!” Well, if everyone bitches to their coworkers about annoyances of a job, how would I be the only one looking like a bitch and making her look bad?? She bitches to me about her job all the time - does that make her “unfit” to work there? I know I’m not the biggest “people person” but when I’m at work, I’m as pleasant as can be, so to be told by my best friend that she wouldn’t want to help me get a job because she thinks my work behavior would embarrass her really pisses me off.
Then, last night, we started talking about laser hair removal. She said she wanted to get her tummy and lip hair removed if she ever had the money. This moved into a conversation about how if I ever had the money, I’d like to get my nose fixed. She immediately started judging me - even blatantly saying “If you ever got plastic surgery, I’d judge you so hard” and saying that she would, from that point on, introduce me to people as “this is my fake friend” because she would think I was incredibly fake for wanting to change a part of my body. I asked her why it wasn’t fake to permanently change your body with tattoos or laser hair removal, and she just said “that’s not the same thing. Plastic surgery is for people who are insecure.” I told her I’m not insecure, I’d just like my nose better if it was a slightly different shape and size. But she just kept calling me fake and insecure, saying that she hopes that if I ever get it done, it starts caving in like Michael Jackson's and I get a bunch of complications. Then saying that she hopes she’s not friends with me anymore by the time I get enough money for surgery because she wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that anymore anyway.
I know everyone has their opinions, but wtf? In all the time I’ve spent with her, she’s never judged me for anything. She’s talked me out of bad decisions when I’m just not thinking clearly, but her behavior and judging this week is just....wow. I could talk shit to her all day about the stupid things I see her doing, especially with her love life, but I don't because it's her life. I don’t know where it’s coming from and it really pisses me off. The thing is, she knows it pisses me off and is incredibly insulting to me, but she doesn’t care. I’m trying to get shit back on track right now and not knowing whether I can talk about anything to my best friend is not really the best place to be.
I know the obvious answer is to stop talking to her and try to find new friends... I guess I just need to vent, especially since this is exactly how I lost my last best friend... she never judged me and then all of a sudden, the judgment couldn't fly out of her mouth faster... I don't get what makes people turn this way. 2 weeks ago, I was the greatest friend in the world - an "angel" as she said - because I took her to her friend's funeral - now I'm a fake, insecure bitch who's unfit for the working world that she doesn't want to help out or be friends with if I make certain decisions about my face? ...Just, wtf?




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