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Thread: wtf is going on with my best friend?

  1. #1
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default wtf is going on with my best friend?

    Feel free to ignore just another of my long-winded rants... I know I'm a hot mess right now lol

    God, I feel like my life is being royally raped in the ass these past couple weeks, and now I can’t even turn to my best friend for comfort, because lately she’s being super judgmental and mean to me. I’ve never had her criticize me for so many things in such a short period of time before...

    First, we were talking about how I need another job since my new one isn’t working out. She said that she thought about recommending me for a job at a nursing home, but didn’t want to cuz she thinks I’m unfit for customer service. She believes I’d get annoyed and either yell and be mean to old people, or bitch to other coworkers about things that annoy me and it would make her look bad. Now, I know I bitch about work outside of work, but my customer service and work ethic at work are fucking immaculate. It’s one of the few things I pride myself on, so to have someone who has never even seen me work or interact with customers say that she doesn’t want to be associated with my customer service skills is incredibly insulting. And I told her so. She said she still wouldn’t want me to make her look bad by complaining about work to coworkers even though, in her own words, “of course you’ll do it, everyone does!” Well, if everyone bitches to their coworkers about annoyances of a job, how would I be the only one looking like a bitch and making her look bad?? She bitches to me about her job all the time - does that make her “unfit” to work there? I know I’m not the biggest “people person” but when I’m at work, I’m as pleasant as can be, so to be told by my best friend that she wouldn’t want to help me get a job because she thinks my work behavior would embarrass her really pisses me off.

    Then, last night, we started talking about laser hair removal. She said she wanted to get her tummy and lip hair removed if she ever had the money. This moved into a conversation about how if I ever had the money, I’d like to get my nose fixed. She immediately started judging me - even blatantly saying “If you ever got plastic surgery, I’d judge you so hard” and saying that she would, from that point on, introduce me to people as “this is my fake friend” because she would think I was incredibly fake for wanting to change a part of my body. I asked her why it wasn’t fake to permanently change your body with tattoos or laser hair removal, and she just said “that’s not the same thing. Plastic surgery is for people who are insecure.” I told her I’m not insecure, I’d just like my nose better if it was a slightly different shape and size. But she just kept calling me fake and insecure, saying that she hopes that if I ever get it done, it starts caving in like Michael Jackson's and I get a bunch of complications. Then saying that she hopes she’s not friends with me anymore by the time I get enough money for surgery because she wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that anymore anyway.

    I know everyone has their opinions, but wtf? In all the time I’ve spent with her, she’s never judged me for anything. She’s talked me out of bad decisions when I’m just not thinking clearly, but her behavior and judging this week is just....wow. I could talk shit to her all day about the stupid things I see her doing, especially with her love life, but I don't because it's her life. I don’t know where it’s coming from and it really pisses me off. The thing is, she knows it pisses me off and is incredibly insulting to me, but she doesn’t care. I’m trying to get shit back on track right now and not knowing whether I can talk about anything to my best friend is not really the best place to be.

    I know the obvious answer is to stop talking to her and try to find new friends... I guess I just need to vent, especially since this is exactly how I lost my last best friend... she never judged me and then all of a sudden, the judgment couldn't fly out of her mouth faster... I don't get what makes people turn this way. 2 weeks ago, I was the greatest friend in the world - an "angel" as she said - because I took her to her friend's funeral - now I'm a fake, insecure bitch who's unfit for the working world that she doesn't want to help out or be friends with if I make certain decisions about my face? ...Just, wtf?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Cam_chick's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    The nose job thing is pretty crazy. I mean, I'm not saying you are insecure, but so what if you were? So someone who dares not be completely comfortable with their body in a society where we are constantly judged and scrutinized if we don't fit these perfect ideals is someone she can't tolerate? Well fuck, that sounds pretty damn human to me.

    She sounds like she needs an attitude adjustment, plastic surgery and laser hair removal are in the exact same vein. Why doesn't she want lip hair hmm? Maybe because of what people think of you when you have hair on your lip? Because people will think she's less attractive? Or even if it's just because she personally dislikes it, that's the same thing as you personally disliking your nose. Her views are completely skewed and illogical.

    I really hope she starts being more supportive or you find a new best friend, because it's not worth it to waste your time confiding in someone who is going to talk down to you and make you feel shitty!

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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    She sounds a little off...

    Like a toxic friend. A friend is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. Sure, judging comes into friendships, and sometimes you need a friend to be tough love, but this is just harsh and mean, cruel even. As though she needs to hurt you to feel good about herself.

    You can try talking to her about it, tell her how much it hurts that she talks that way, truth or otherwise. Ask her why she's being mean. Maybe some good will come out of that talk, maybe not. But at least you'll know where she stands and if there is any hope of recovering the friendship to a real friendship.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    Is this the same 'friend' who kept introducing you to everyone as a stripper? I gunk you already know what to do....

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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    ^^ Yes, it is. Which she hasn't been doing lately so I appreciated that. I've always loved that she has no problem speaking her mind, but when it turns into putting me down for stupid things or things that she doesn't even know about me - I can't help but think it's her pushing her own insecurities onto me.

    Honestly, this hostility started right after I told her I was thinking of moving to the city an hour away. She got very upset about this. Right after, she started talking about her plans to go to California for 3 months next summer, then become a flight attendant, and how it wouldn't matter if she left cuz I was "abandoning her first." I think her bitchiness might have something to do with her feeling like she's gonna lose me as a friend... but I don't really wanna go all Freud on her cuz she'll tell me I'm being stupid.

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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    It sounds like you are surrounded by assholes. Maybe it's time to do some friend purging and start over.

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    I'm responding to these two quotations pulled from your posts here:

    "Then saying that she hopes she’s not friends with me anymore by the time I get enough money for surgery because she wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that anymore anyway."

    "I think her bitchiness might have something to do with her feeling like she's gonna lose me as a friend... but I don't really wanna go all Freud on her cuz she'll tell me I'm being stupid."

    If you want to salvage the relationship with the least amount of resentment, you are going to have to address this with her, and likely pull up strong examples of why you think she's acting inappropriately, and how you're not "abandoning" her, and how she needs to buck the fuck up.

    Also, read this if you haven't already:
    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=163790

    She doesn't have any right to make you think you're stupid or crazy for thinking something that makes a lot of sense.
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    ^^

    LOL! To quote the great Hunter S. Thompson, she's "drowning in assholes".
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    You thought of her as a friend, and she has thought of you as an accessory.

    I have cut ties with many people in the past and their approach to "friendship" amounts to "what can I have".

    Bail. This is not the person you thought she was.

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    Veteran Member Kalypso's Avatar
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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    She's not your friend. Sorry. Friends don't want bad things to happen to you ever. Friends don't want you to feel like shit either. Confront her and if she doesn't change, ditch her ass.
    Bitch? Actually I'm an evil cunt. Slut? Try dirty little whore. Either way, you have to pay for it.

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    Default Re: wtf is going on with my best friend?

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    Also, read this if you haven't already:
    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=163790

    She doesn't have any right to make you think you're stupid or crazy for thinking something that makes a lot of sense.
    Thanks for providing that link. I hadn't caught it the first time around. I think it is helpful in the OP's situation, and also good reading in general for most of us here.
    "I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them"
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