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Thread: Then why do you come here??

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    Default Then why do you come here??

    So there's men here on SW, huh?

    I've run into guys nightly who sit there have some drinks, who never get dances. Their responses would be like, "Oh, I don't want to get sucked in and end up spending thousands of dollars." OR my favorite- "You guys just want my money." (I mean, we ARE at work you think WE come here to pay a house fee to have a few drinks??) And then I get the guys who trash talk strippers, saying we are gold diggers, druggies etc etc and straight look down on strippers. Some of these guy come in EVERY NIGHT.

    So please tell me, why the fuck are you here then?

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    These guys are the offline equivalent off trolls. Every club has them. They make me sooo angry, and it's so hard to stay dignified and not go crazy at them sometimes!

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    So please tell me, why the fuck are you here then?
    I think it's pretty obvious. They are sitting in a strip club nursing a $7 beer because there are naked women there. The fact is, like it or not, your club owner has no way to force these guys to buy ld's or even tip at the stage.

    To be clear, I don't understand it anymore than you do. To me T&A is not spectator sport. A strip club is the most boring place in the world if you aren't tipping or buying dances but, clearly, these lookie loos would rather stare at a woman's boobs from twenty or thirty feet away than not at all...

    It's easy for me to say this but it seems it would be much easier to just ignore these guys than to waste time and energy worrying about what motivates them. If they are not putting money in your pocket just ignore them. They aren't going away.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    ^What yoda said. I will just add...

    Many guys don't really understand how a club's money flows really work. Nor, for that matter, would a lot of them care even if they did know.

    Now also keep in mind that some of these same guys really can't afford to buy dances. For example, a guy that makes $26,000 per year working a $13/hr job goes home, after taxes, with less than $450 per week. Even if he wanted to, the $50 cost of two lapdances is probably more than he can easily part with, especially on top of the beer tab and cover charge. As far as they are concerned, they earned the right to sit in the club when they paid the cover charges and bought those overpriced beers.

    Now I also don't understand why a guy would want to sit there and just stare at boobs all night, but I also agree with yoda that it is not going away anytime soon. In fact, with the increases in drink deals, offers of free buffet meals, and other gimmicks that club owners are using in some areas to get guys in the door, it seems to be getting even worse. I guess that the best that a girl can do is to quickly filter out guys who can't or won't spend money on her and move on.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 10-27-2011 at 05:59 PM.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    OR my favorite- "You guys just want my money." (I mean, we ARE at work you think WE come here to pay a house fee to have a few drinks??)
    LOL. I honestly think that 99 percent of guys have never sat down and thought about the concept of a strip club. Once guys do ruminate on the subject for 5 minutes or so, one of those big cartoon light bulbs switches on above their heads and they realize that stripping is a job, not a lifestyle choice or a way for girls to meet men for dating or sex. I think most guys WANT to believe that strippers are looking for men to date or sleep with in the club, which is why a lot of them don't want to admit the obvious, that it's all a job, because that would ruin their fantasy.

    Also, like the guys upthread, I have no idea why men would come to a club just to sit and stare. I would get bored with that within 5 minutes. If I really wanted to see "boobies" I could sit behind my computer screen and view several thousand pairs of them within a few seconds. These guys aren't there just to look at naked women. They're there because they have nothing better to do, because their lives suck, and because this is the closest they've been to a hot, naked woman for a long time. Which is why they try to make the girls feel like crap as well.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    these are all good points - but aren't the guys that DO pay for dances just as 'miserable human beings' as the ones that don't buy dances?

    There is a lot of ignorance on the part of the customers, but what are customers really getting out of lap dances?
    I read posts that dancers hate the cold hearted nature of the customers that treat them as objects, then in the same breath hate on customers that don't see them as commodities


    is the argument that no self respecting man would ever get a lap dance or VIP?

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by IWonAMathDebate View Post
    these are all good points - but aren't the guys that DO pay for dances just as 'miserable human beings' as the ones that don't buy dances?
    Um, no.

    It strikes me that the truly miserable human beings are the ones who feel the need to judge what others choose to do for a little fun...talk about over-analyzing...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    is everything confrontational with you? WHO is judging? it was a question

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    IMO, the reason I am on SW is cause I am a nerd when it comes to things and when I first went to a strip club I saw the mastery these women had when it came to controlling men. So I Googled to get a industry look at the biz. I was also curious how much top earners were able to make in a year.

    As for chilling w/ a beer vs. lap dances:
    Personally I cannot resist more than an hour without getting lap dances. I don't know how anyone could unless they were attracted to the opposite sex.

    Looking at it from an objective standpoint though, I do see the merits as there are people who just chill in regular bars and drink. Well why not chill in a stripclub w/ a couple friends and have gorgeous women dancing for you naked?

    Just looking at it objectively. But yeah.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by IWonAMathDebate View Post
    is everything confrontational with you? WHO is judging? it was a question
    If by "confrontational" you mean that I don't agree with you then yes...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Do you want me to tell you why cheap and/or broke guys go to strip clubs or why I am on SW?

    The answer to the first question is the same as the punchline to that old joke: Why do dogs lick their balls?

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    ^^To add to everything earlier discussed, I feel there are many of us dancers who would rather there be no customers in the bar then to have those guys who want to sit around and look all night for free. THose types usually talk trash and look down upon us and we really dont need their bs. The guys who come in for the conversation or for the fantasy r the ones who r golden. Yes we appreciate lots of money but just spending something is better than sitting around and being a freeloader.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by IWonAMathDebate View Post


    is the argument that no self respecting man would ever get a lap dance or VIP?
    This question is one that keeps popping up and gives me quite the headache. It is perfectly doable to get lapdances and be a respectful and decent human being at the same time. Guys who get lapdances and are gropey and licky and all other sorts of inappropriate are jerks. Guys who refuse to get lapdances on the basis of "I don't want to 'disrespect' you like that" are being disrespectful in their dismissal because they're not respecting the reason I'm at work (to give dances and make money off of that activity). Guys who get lapdances and talk to the women like human beings and keep their hands/tongues/dicks to themselves are gentlemen that I have no problem with. You can enjoy a woman's sexuality while still treating her like a real person. Is that not what guys do when they have girlfriends? Should I be offended and think that my bf does not actually like me for me because he also finds me physically attractive? I know it's not the same exact thing, but YES - a million times yes - it is perfectly possible to enjoy lapdances/the woman's sensuality while not being a miserable disrespectful prick in the process. Why must everything be a madonna/whore complex with some people?


    As far the OP's question is concerned, the ones who come in just to make fun of strippers clearly have nothing better to do with their time than put down one of the easiest targets on earth (sex workers - aka: "whores") to feel superior about themselves. I have to agree that others, honestly, may just be clueless. I talked to a guy one night who kept saying things like "Oh, I know you're just talking to me cuz your boss is watching and you wanna get paid" yada yada. I finally asked him how he thought I got paid. He thought that strippers get paid based on how much time they spend talking to/paying attention to customers, and that the manager was up in the DJ booth "keeping tabs" on how long each dancer talked to customers and we got paid based on our interactions with them... I have no idea where the hell this came from, but when I told him "Umm... no, nobody watches me and I do not get paid by the club - I get paid purely in tips and dances from customers" he seemed genuinely flustered that he had been wasting my time without tipping me and gave me money for my time after he found out. I know that how SCs work seem so obvious to us, but seriously, a lot of guys don't take the time to really think it through. But as far as the miserable jerks go... there's your reason: they're miserable jerks with nothing better to do.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post

    Many guys don't really understand how a club's money flows really work. Nor, for that matter, would a lot of them care even if they did know.
    Very true.... I was at a private party w/a few dancers the other night.... And it didn't ocurre to many that the girls were not being paid from the door fee.... I didn't have any wait..... But I felt for the ladies
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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    I think most guys WANT to believe that strippers are looking for men to date or sleep with in the club, which is why a lot of them don't want to admit the obvious, that it's all a job, because that would ruin their fantasy.
    Sure, of course, no guy walks in thinking, gosh I have all this money, let me go and pay this girls bills.

    This acknowledgement of "it's her job" is done at an intellectual, cerebral level, but for the most part, not really done at an emotional level. This is where all the wonderful sales and service analogies between strippers and real estate sales people, or coffee baristas or what-have-you completely break down.

    What's a lapdance really? physical contact and in some cases a form of simulated sexual intercourse - all indications of sexual acceptance by a woman that's highly sought after by other men (ie she's physically attractive) Emotionally that's what a guy's thinking:

    "I'm sexually validated, because a sought after person is accepting me sexually" not, "I'm promising this woman $20 and that's the sole reason for her pleasing me sexually" even if we intellectually understand that.

    The only way in my view, to force spending, is to do exactly that: force spending. Club entry should be say $100, which covers $20 cover and 4 lapdances. that way the money's already spent. Anything above that- and you'd probably start filtering people out with lesser income.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    I've never understood this either, and these guys are beyond annoying. What's even worse is when a club gets a majority of their customers from these losers. When this happens (look at my posts about required nudity for examples)it pisses off dancers big time. I will say though that SOME men really don't get that it's tips. Many came from an era where strippers were paid by the club. These guys though are up there in age (probably mid 50's and above).

    The ones though that pissed me off beyond belief are the jerks who refused to tip because "I'd rather take you out". Um no, doesn't work that way, if you don't pay me I don't spend time with you. Guys believe all the bull shit pickup artist books and they are exactly that, bull shit. Dude I am not spending time with you outside the club. Tru story but I once knew a screwed up dancer who went out with one of these losers. He actually wanted HER to pay for the date because she made so much money dancing. Unreal.

    Isn't it ironic though that the guys here who spend the most time chatting in threads and/or contribute the most to conversations tend to be be the ones who get it and spend in clubs? I think this says a lot because they for the most part know we are human and not dolls and understand we have bills.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    I've been that guy...

    I started going to clubs with friends. Some times I would buy dances and I would always tip the stage. But I would buy drinks or VIP's. We would go to the clubs due to the BYOB laws around my area. It's a lot cheaper and more fun to go sit and drink at a club than a bar or resterant. The fact that there are boobies is just a bonus, it's not the reason we go. A lot of times we would actualy point out "better" customers to dancers trying to waist their time with us. Not doing it to be rude... But some of the girls around here are not good at their jobs. They would do just that, waist their time with us, knowing that we arn't there for them.

    I later ended up living with one of my normals and that turned into me going up there to hang out with her and a few of our friends when nights were dead. I did tip the stage again but didn't ever buy any drinks, dances or VIP's... I did the whole "rain" thing for grins once. That was a mess. LOL

    I understand how the club works, I had a good friend and customer of mine who owned one of the clubs in town... I have also dated a few strippers. So trust me I get it. But at the same time I wasn't going there for anything more than a fun environment to hang out with my friends in.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    I was a non-dance-buying customer for a couple of years previously having been an above average spender. I'd visit if friends who I no longer did dances with were working and likely to be free if I had an hour to kill and was already in the immediate area. Once they stopped working, I essentially stopped visiting, so I do see your point. Stopping in with no real plan would make for a boring time.
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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by IWonAMathDebate View Post
    I read posts that dancers hate the cold hearted nature of the customers that treat them as objects, then in the same breath hate on customers that don't see them as commodities
    We're neither objects to be manhandled nor commodities. We are human beings, providing a service for which we deserve to be paid. Why is this so difficult to understand?
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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    We're neither objects to be manhandled nor commodities. We are human beings, providing a service for which we deserve to be paid. Why is this so difficult to understand?
    The issue is that "service" implies, at least on some level, a commoditization of yourself as an object of sexual pleasure.

    I think what he's saying is, it seems selective that, on the one hand many strippers want to trivialize (and really, de-humanize) the interaction to 'service rendered' when it comes to the attitude they display towards the guy (ie saying things like "ugh why does he want me to go home with him!" I'm just like a coffee barista serving coffee!)

    but expects a recognition of her humanity, body and boundaries in a sexual sense when it comes to the guy's attitude and behavior towards her. (similar to a girl in a 'normal club')

    So it's like the strip club setting is acknowledged when it benefits the woman (ie, don't think or annoy me with questions of trying to pick me up) but it's forgotten (or relaxed) when it doesn't (hey I'm a human being, don't treat me as an object!)

    Of course there are clear extremes, this doesn't mean a guy can force himself on you, but I think problem comes in this grey area what a guy thinks falls under "services rendered" but a woman thinks is 'over-objectification, and forgetting that Im human'

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    FWIW these threads certainly help me as a customer gain a greater appreciation of the SC.
    I've been to many and dated some during my adult life and the perspectives offered certainly help provide some insights that would benefit seller and consumer.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    This acknowledgement of "it's her job" is done at an intellectual, cerebral level, but for the most part, not really done at an emotional level. This is where all the wonderful sales and service analogies between strippers and real estate sales people, or coffee baristas or what-have-you completely break down.
    While I partially agree with this I don't think all that many guys deal with lap dances on an "emotional" level. Admittedly, many of the ones that do show up here asking if "she likes me". Dancing is a sales job. I wouldn't compare it to selling over-priced coffee drinks but there are certainly similarities with other types of sales job. Note: This does not mean they are the same, just that there are similarities.

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    What's a lapdance really? physical contact and in some cases a form of simulated sexual intercourse - all indications of sexual acceptance by a woman that's highly sought after by other men (ie she's physically attractive) Emotionally that's what a guy's thinking:
    Sexual acceptance? Dude, we're buying lap dances, don't paint every guy who likes T&A with the same brush. Most of us just want a little fun with a hot woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    "I'm sexually validated, because a sought after person is accepting me sexually" not, "I'm promising this woman $20 and that's the sole reason for her pleasing me sexually" even if we intellectually understand that.
    "Sexually Validated? Are you freaking kidding me? Where do you get this stuff?

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    The only way in my view, to force spending, is to do exactly that: force spending. Club entry should be say $100, which covers $20 cover and 4 lapdances. that way the money's already spent. Anything above that- and you'd probably start filtering people out with lesser income.
    Wouldn't matter, under your idea all clubs would be out of business in a few weeks...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by skwadim View Post
    I think what he's saying is, it seems selective that, on the one hand many strippers want to trivialize (and really, de-humanize) the interaction to 'service rendered' when it comes to the attitude they display towards the guy (ie saying things like "ugh why does he want me to go home with him!" I'm just like a coffee barista serving coffee!)

    but expects a recognition of her humanity, body and boundaries in a sexual sense when it comes to the guy's attitude and behavior towards her. (similar to a girl in a 'normal club')
    I think this shows just how difficult it is to "sell" sexuality without those dastardly emotions getting involved, on both ends.

    For the men, as someone said upthread, if we totally forego the fantasy, and just admit that we're paying a girl 20 dollars to grind on us for a couple of minutes, it totally de-romanticizes the experience. So we'll pretend for a minute that maybe, just maaayyybe, this particular girl really is kind of attracted to us (or whatever). Which makes the experience psychologically more satisfying. The trouble starts when some P.L. decides to try and take the girls home with him, or says dumbass things like, "You only want the money!" As long as we don't actually start believing the fantasy, we're fine.

    For the girls, I think that there are a lot of girls in the club --- and most of these types of girls wouldn't be caught dead on SW --- who are young and naive and who think their job is going to be a party. Those are the girls who think that their job is to basically act like they're in a real club, wait for guys to approach them, expect to make money off of drinks and not dances, etc. They'll get offended when a guy doesn't want to hear stories about their kids, or other aspects of the non-fantasy versions of themselves, storm off in a huff when a guy chooses another girl over them, etc. So yes I do think some girls also forget that the SC is a job but those types of girls probably don't last long anyway.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    While I partially agree with this I don't think all that many guys deal with lap dances on an "emotional" level.
    That's my point. Emotionally, we'd rather believe (no matter how brief a time) the girl actually "is into us" Otherwise the entire concept of "hustle" would be moot, a girl could walk up and mechanically say, "a lapdance costs 20 how many do you want"

    Sexual acceptance? Dude, we're buying lap dances, don't paint every guy who likes T&A with the same brush. Most of us just want a little fun with a hot woman.
    But think deeper... why is it fun?

    Because its the same kind of sexual stimulation/acceptance/validation one would get from a girlfriend. No matter how brief it is.

    And we want it without doing all the work and follow up it takes to chase one of these "hot women" and turn them into our girlfriend.

    Wouldn't matter, under your idea all clubs would be out of business in a few weeks...
    But at least you wouldn't have strippers complaining that guys just "come in and nurse a 9 dollar beer" or whatever. Given the current model, people are free to do that. and will continue to do so.

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    Default Re: Then why do you come here??

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    A strip club is the most boring place in the world if you aren't tipping or buying dances
    That's wrong seeing half naked hot woman woman walking around, dancing nude on stage to nice music and light improves mod.

    Even if there are no women some clubs are quite nice places to bee.

    Compare to bars what to do there appart from drinking and often they are less nice and more crowded and nothing to see at all.

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