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Thread: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

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    Angry Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

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    Last edited by SuckMyKiss; 02-17-2012 at 01:47 PM.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    ^ Im not quite so physical but I'm definitely not afraid of giving anyone... man or woman a strong tongue lashing. I used to be quiet and never stand up for myself but working in the club changed that.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    I just had some drunk french guys spray water at me from a balcony as I walked past. Wtf? Who does that? Its freezing cold autumn weather, I'm wrapped up nice and warm, carrying an extra jacket with me, keeping my eyes straight ahead....why the fuck would you spray me with water??

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    I have zero tolerance for shit from ignorant men. I don't typically get physical but I will not hesitate to run my mouth and put a dude in his place right quick.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    Wow, that's some ignorant shit, beyond belief!^ Idk, today people seem much more rude..but also, esp. w/the drunk/high factor..things can escalate too fast


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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    I will not tolerate this either and will tell them off. I am someone who will fight but the problem is most of these guys are bigger than men and may beat me up. So I stick to telling them off.

    I mentioned this in another thread but why in the hell do guys do things like these and think it's ok? Why are so many men today assholes?

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    When someone crosses the line from verbal b.s. to actually putting his hands on me, I feel totally justified in defending myself physically. I didn't used to be this way, but too many years of having to be on/cross Bourbon St. during Mardi Gras has changed me forever. I swear, there's a certain type of drunk asshole that seems to believe every pair of tits in New Orleans is public property just because it's Carnival week. (I avoid Bourbon during that time as much as possible).

    Anyway, if a man I don't know puts his hands on me in any way (univited), I consider that an assault and a form of violence. I have no problem resorting to a violent approach to make myself understood - that is is NOT acceptable behavior, no matter what.

    I've always counted on the fact that the guy won't actually beat me up in the middle of a crowd, and I'm also not too proud to defend myself physically, then disappear into the crowd before he has a chance to retaliate, lol.
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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    I'm a bit of a pacifist and can usually handle situations verbally. It just depends on the guy and what exactly he's doing. But once in a while, a pacifist simply has to pass a fist. What scares me more is how nonchalant a lot of these guys are getting about stuff like this, both inside and outside the club.

    One night at my home club, I was standing next to the DJ booth which is situated between the dance booths and the main floor. Employees and girls were very open and friendly with each other, so it wasn't rare to play a game of grab ass with each other. I'm standing at the corner of the booth, talking with another dancer, the DJ and a bouncer. Out of nowhere, I feel a completely nonchalant pinch on my ass as some one walks by, so casually that I thought it was another dancer coming out of a booth and turned with a smile to return the gesture. It wasn't until I turned around that I realized it was a customer who'd done it and was in so much shock at the fact that it ended up being the other dancer who yelled at the bouncer "Go get that guy! He just grabbed her ass!" Even when the DJ asked me why I didn't speak up or do something myself (even as a pacifist, I'm very outspoken and have no problem handling myself and if I simply won't deal with it myself, I speak up to the bouncers), I was still in so much shock that she had to explain for me that he did it so quickly and casually that it took me completely by surprise. I can't remember many times in my years dancing that I've been more shaken than I was that night.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    I used to just ignore assholes - now I can't. Being the club has made me a mad little lady in regards to jerks. I can't handle it anymore. I usually can stick to just telling them off, but the drunker I am, the more I want to physically do something. The worst I've done though is smack a few guys over the head or on the back if they keep intruding on my space. I figure sure they could beat me up, but would they really risk trying to hit a 5 foot tall girl in public? I've almost thrown my drink on an asshole, but was stopped by 3 guy friends dragging me away... I used to think ignoring was being the bigger person, but then I started thinking "this will never change if nobody ever stands up to them." I wish I could always just walk away and not let that sort of hatefulness into my life, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    The rare times that I have encountered outright rude men in public, my retaliation has been immediate, physical, and very, very painful.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    you really have to push me to get me to lash out & so far, i never have to a total stranger.

    follow me on twittah<3

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    I've been known to flip the fuck out pretty easily. I never dress provocatively, never show cleavage or anything so I do try to take preventative measures. But the second someone gets rude with me, game on... And they won't win.

    I wish no one would ever try and give me their stupid "compliments" or do the whole "I want to make you smile!" routine. Just leave me alone. Srsly.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    I used to just ignore assholes - now I can't. Being the club has made me a mad little lady in regards to jerks. I can't handle it anymore. I usually can stick to just telling them off, but the drunker I am, the more I want to physically do something. The worst I've done though is smack a few guys over the head or on the back if they keep intruding on my space. I figure sure they could beat me up, but would they really risk trying to hit a 5 foot tall girl in public? I've almost thrown my drink on an asshole, but was stopped by 3 guy friends dragging me away... I used to think ignoring was being the bigger person, but then I started thinking "this will never change if nobody ever stands up to them." I wish I could always just walk away and not let that sort of hatefulness into my life, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
    By the number off assholes that look shocked when I defend myself, it seems like they get away with that behavior more often than not. I think lots of young women (my 19year old self was included) don't know how to react, so they ignore it or giggle nervously. Unfortuately, that just reinforces the idea that it's totally okay to treat women like that.
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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    Quote Originally Posted by lets_get_lost View Post
    Once i was walking along the street, wearing like the least provocative outfit ever (jeans and trainers...) this bunch of guys were shouting at me "OI LOVE!" when i obviously didnt even bother to look at them one of them shouted at me "alright then dont look at me you cunt".

    There are no words.
    This is one of my least favorite rude gestures. It's not even really that bad when you think about other things guys can do to you, but it's sooooo obnoxious. My recent thing to do to guys like this is just ignore them, and when they inevitably say shit like "fine, don't say hi, bitch!" I just say "wasn't planning it, dick." It's not much, but it makes me feel better.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    Quote Originally Posted by SuckMyKiss View Post
    I feel like the older I get, the less tolerance I have for unnecessary bullshit. Ignorant behavior doesn't change by being ignored (also a big problem in the strip club scene...girls letting guys grope them for free, etc).

    When you're out in public, at a bar/club/party/where ever... What does it take for you to put your foot down?

    I used to just give a dirty look and maybe make a bitchy remark but I've found myself taking more and more physical action lately and it feels GOOD. A couple weeks ago, a guy fully palmed my ass and then kept walking away as I turned around and said something to him. I power walked up to him and poked my cigarette out on his shoulder. Another night, a guy was following my boobs with his eyes as I was walking by him (like open mouth gawking), said something like "yo where you goin' ma" and then I felt him so close behind me that his drink was dripping down my back. I turned around and said Your sloppy ass is going to end up spilling this so why don't I make it easier for you, and poured it all over his shirt. He just stood there looking down. lmao woops.
    These two incidents were in public? Can you give us a fuller context on them?

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    You have to be careful when doing things like that cuz you see some guys think they can't do anything to women cuz they are women but the number of them is decreasing.

    I have pinned a woman by her throat before when she tried to take my property, I have thrown her stuff out the door and made her fetch it, I have even pinned another woman by her throat in front of her children and all of this was just the 1st step. I won't mention the others.

    I will say however, i was justified in doing all this cuz you see I was protecting my property, myself or retaliating in each of these cases.

    So although I see your point about getting annoyed with guys, pouring your drink on them would not be such a smart move. One day if you carry on it will bite you in the ass just like that girl i saw punched and dragged into the club office last saturday.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    The previous post wasn't an attack btw it was just an explanation of how things go. It is ok to get angry and shout or swear, but the moment a woman tries to get physical or take a mans property, she steps into our world.

    And in a world fo equal rights, if a man poured his drink on me, I would knock him out, its only fair that I treat women equally and do the same.

    Btw the stories I mentioned above are all true but there are more.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    ^^^ Well, the moment a man lays his hands on a woman without her consent, he steps into OUR world. And we have every right to defend ourselves. Despite what many men seem to think, they DO NOT have the right to sexually assault us just because they're bigger than us.
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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    Nah, fuck that. The "Oh no, you need to be careful and meek because they can REALLY hurt you if you stand up for yourself lady!" approach is exactly why more women should speak up. Men think they can get away with these things because everyone tries ignore it for fear of being assaulted. That's bullshit. I'm not saying smack the shit out of everyone who whistles at you (because it's excessive), but you DO have a right to stand up for yourself.

    And for those asking for "context", I'm going to guess because the situations don't appear feasible? Do a quick google search for "street harassment" or ask any woman you know who's ever been a pedestrian or enjoyed a night out on the town. It happens so frequently it's almost the norm and THAT is scary.

    http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/loca...-number-050310

    Oh, and to answer the question, I'm a hypocrite and keep quite. I haven't had anyone bold enough to get close to me but then I'm usually walking with some very large men. That unfortunately doesn't deter the catcalling, but then letting them beat the shit out of some mouthy idiot isn't worth them possibly being injured themselves or getting the police involved once "assault" suddenly comes into the picture. All they want is a rise anyway. I'd rather not give it to them.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalllia View Post
    ^^^ Well, the moment a man lays his hands on a woman without her consent, he steps into OUR world. And we have every right to defend ourselves. Despite what many men seem to think, they DO NOT have the right to sexually assault us just because they're bigger than us.
    Agreed. We're not talking here about crazy bitches thinking they can do whatever they want to men without consequence just because they're pissy about the bills or something - we're talking about when men touch and act inappropriately toward women because they think they can do so without consequence. So if a man touches me unwantedly, I retaliate in defense, and he hits me back "in defense"... pretty weak argument for defense - I was the one defending myself in the first place. Anyone who lays hands on another person should expect physical retaliation. If you started it, you can't really claim "defense" when they get you back. That's what we're talking about here. If a man assaults me in any way, I shouldn't have to tolerate it without retaliation because I'm worried that he'll punch me in the face and try to claim it was "in defense" when he was the one who provoked me to attack. In your example, Chilled, I doubt that any guy who threw a drink in your face would be provoked to do so because you smacked/squeezed his ass/chest without invitation as he walked by... Sexual assault is still physical assault, so yes, when they step into OUR world to do something like that to us, we have every right to get physical to defend ourselves.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    The Chilled guy is the same one who admits he would rather pay a prostitute than a dancer and likes to waste their time. He's also that doorman guy who keeps posting info. He's clearly without a doubt a sociopath.

    Btw, I wasn't saying not to attack men back, just that these guys who have been rude to me (non violent)have been big guys and I found in these cases telling them off or ignoring them worked. However, a few years ago some guy attacked me in downtown Chicago and I punched him back. He was about my height.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    I wonder why some guys do this, it's easier just to look and keep my lewd feelings in my head.



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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    lol, "Don't hit a man cuz he could really hurt you." Lamest excuse to keep quiet that I have ever heard.

    The type of behavior we are discussing here is like a type of abuse. These men have a deluded type of self-entitlement that allows them to think they're behavior is okay. When they don't get what they want, embarrassment and intimidation become the next best thing. How do you teach these bullies a lesson? Deflate their false sense of ego. Ignoring them works sometimes. Sometimes, especially when the behavior has become physical, you have to strike back.

    How did I end the physical abuse I have endured in the past? I punched a man twice my age and three times my size in the face. He laid hands on me one time after that, which resulted in a kick to the jaw and my removal from the house because he believed my threat to kill him.
    Exotic dancing is like any other job.
    If you work in an office, you wear dress shoes and a suit.
    If you work in a restaraunt, you wear skid resistant shoes and a uniform.
    If you work in a strip club, you wear 7" stilettos and lycra g-strings.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    Pinning a woman by her throat? Wow. You must be such a great guy.

    I understand restraining someone but it is VERY easy to kill someone by grabbing their throat.

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    Default Re: Dealing with rude guys in public...At what point do you retaliate?

    It's when they howl and grunt at you in the street that really gets to me. What exactly are they hoping will happen? That I'll turn around, leap in to their arms and say 'oh baby your mating call speaks to me you must be the man of my dreams, please may I have your dick in my mouth?'!!!
    They're such pigs!!

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