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Thread: Lost in Translation

  1. #26
    Moderator IsobelWren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    I'm bumping this thread because all the mistranslations used to make me lol hardcore and I'm sure we have heard more to add here by now.


    I

    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

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  3. #27
    Veteran Member Sinistress's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Hala saw uterus plz bb

    Check this out if your in need of some video or phone scripts
    These are good for clips4sale videos possibly even phone sex if your more of a storyteller.

    Sinocalypse.com

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  5. #28
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Recently I've had:

    "What yu C phume athwould b sweet." (I took a pic, so I could quote it correctly...lol!!)

    and

    "most of time unless u compete vulerable cock u like then u like oo boy."

    I think the top one is a request for a phone (phome?) number.

    The second one? NO idea.....
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


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  7. #29
    Banned Fridays's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    "if" = " broke"? is that the translation?
    "if you stand and if u do this and if u do that and the other thing"...

    I just love the " can u stand bb"
    me:" yes I can, can you?" lol

  8. #30
    Banned Fridays's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post

    "most of time unless u compete vulerable cock u like then u like oo boy."
    ....
    He was having a seizure for sure

  9. #31
    Veteran Member PrincessLavender's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    u must have a nice whooty.

    At first I thought it might be a typo for booty but how do accidently type 2 letters that are no where near the b on the keyboard?


    Music make her dance and money, money, money make her smile!

  10. #32
    Veteran Member neliana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    whooty = white girl with a booty. Lol!

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  12. #33
    Veteran Member PrincessLavender's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by neliana View Post
    whooty = white girl with a booty. Lol!
    Lol. Thanks girl! Damn, I love this tread. Lmao.


    Music make her dance and money, money, money make her smile!

  13. #34
    Moderator IsobelWren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by neliana View Post
    whooty = white girl with a booty. Lol!
    Well that clears that up! I learn something new every day!


    I

    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

  14. #35
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Mis pusy so urgent
    Such cheap or my love

    ----
    I need this translated LOL

  15. #36
    Veteran Member PrincessLavender's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    "can you shrimp go cramp when you orgasm?"

    huh?


    Music make her dance and money, money, money make her smile!

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  17. #37
    Senior Member Caramel_BBW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    YES PANTY
    OK
    SQUAT
    IN BED SQUAT
    MOVE PUSSY

    Ok so this guy always takes me exclusive for a bit and wants me to squat...he came in today and I dunno what "move pussy" meant lol I kinda wiggled and thrusted a bit while I was squatting...then he left lol






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  19. #38
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by Caramel_BBW View Post
    I kinda wiggled and thrusted a bit while I was squatting...then he left lol
    hahahaahahhahhah Im laughing here

  20. #39
    Senior Member Caramel_BBW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by Fridays View Post
    hahahaahahhahhah Im laughing here
    Lol hell I tried...I'll try touching it next time lol






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  22. #40
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by IsobelWren View Post
    I agree that mak penty is the best ever. I'm surprised tho that nobody has said "open breast bb" or "open tits bb" I get that one ALL THE TIME.

    I always picture the cam girl cheerily obliging, pressing her sterum, causing it to split wide open in the middle like open heart surgery. All the inner workings of her chest are visible for a second as she flashes, grinning. She shuts her breast again. The room is dead silent and the camera cuts to the guys who were all in her room. They're all staring in horror, fascination and disgust. Several have vomited on their computers and laps. The one who originally asked for it is twitching like he's about to have an aneurysm, thinking, "That. What did I...what did I ask for?!" A few are rocking themselves back and forth, crooning under their breath stuff like, "not real. Not real!" And one guy is looking vaguely horrified that he just jizzed in his pants.

    Cut back to the cam girl, looking vaguely puzzled and amused. "Guys? Hello? Guys? BeegPentyCock72? You going to take me private now? You promised you would if I did that!"

    OMG, I needed that laugh today Isobel!

    Then I remembered that I have a friend who does special effects makeup & animatronics . . .
    **Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...usually on a broomstick. We are flexible like that.**

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  24. #41
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Ok...I'm bumping my own thread (I feel so vain...) because of these two..

    You pussy like how is a suck?

    You have hair how hot bitch. you bitch?

    Why do I get all the guys who haven't yet perfected one-handed typing??? LOL
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


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  26. #42
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    please,more funny stuff...
    Love them!!

  27. #43
    God/dess roast's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Guy after being asked what he was looking for: K9 Mom

    Me (I know it cant be something Im willing to do either way but Im bored): ?

    Guy: wat

    Me: What does that mean

    Guy: dog mother
    (sees Im not responding so gets more emphatic)
    Guy: K nine mum
    Guy: k9 mama
    (we're both in the US but I guess he figures he needs to use cultural variations on 'mother' like 'mum' & 'mama' in case I wouldnt get it)
    Guy: you there?
    Guy: K9 MOM


    Me: ??
    Me: youre just using synonyms

    Guy: wat! (lol exclamation point)

    Me (hoping for a trainwreck): what does it all mean

    Guy: leave me alone





    Damn guess he realized I probably wasnt going to do it since I didnt get the lingo. Figured it was bestiality -- but a mom? There are a bunch of sites called k9mom that are about doggie discipline but methinks he didnt confuse me for the maternal Dog Whisperer? rofl, idgi





    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    So how many stumps can you fit in your pussy?

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  29. #44
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Guy in pvt after the vadge comes out: THERR R WORDSS TO DESCRIBE U PUSSY
    Guy: WORDS
    Guy: HMMMMMMMMMMMM
    -guy leaves-


    Guy (within seconds of a premium show in full effect): Be porn
    Guy: Be porno for me
    -guy leaves-


    Guy: SUMMA DAT RIGHT IN, MAKE FLASH
    Guy: U REAL


    ^lol streamate can be so fucking weird





    Quote Originally Posted by Procrasturbator View Post
    So how many stumps can you fit in your pussy?

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  31. #45
    Senior Member WhatNOW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    I got this in a message the other day on xpeeps from a dude I've never talked to.. It's long, but so worth it. You're welcome DDDDDDDD lol

    I just wanted to tell you that I think your sexy and that I JUST LOVE Caucasian girls MORE than ANY other race.

    Secondly, I think you're so sexy that you DESERVE to FORCE me to rock and make you VERY WET, EVERYDAY, ALL DAY and NIGHT LONG as I get on my hands and knees, behind you, remove your panties with my teeth and inhale your sexy funky odor as I sensually stroke your sexy POWERFUL ass crack with my tongue, suck it with my lips like a popsicle, nibble and sniff it; also, while owned as you looking down at me while sitting on my face and in my open mouth in ass worship.

    You also DESERVE for me to allow you to piss and cum into my mouth and vibrate your ass on my face and in my mouth while owning me and for me to put my food and drink up to your ass before I eat it, as your sexy ass goes BOOM BOOM and BLAST your sexy farts, then FORCE me to swallow EVERYTHING down my throat, and tell you that I think it smelled and tasted DELICIOUS, which most likely it would and I would LOVE to tell you. Plus, you'd wanna kidnap me and NEVER let me go, so you can always have me and I could really show you.

    I wish I lived in your city and state or you lived in Houston, because, unfortunately, I'm unable to travel at the time. Hopefully, you will be able come to Houston, soon, kidnap me, and FORCE me to ass worship and I can REALLY show you how I REALLY use my tongue and nose.

    For some strange reason, good-looking, sexy Caucasian girls ALWAYS wanna FORCE me into ass worship and ALWAYS want their farts to BOOM BOOM into my mouth and nose, anyway, even if I don't mention ass worship. I guess it's because, somewhere, down the line when talking to y'all, I reveal that; first, I'm deathly afraid of good-looking, sexy Caucasian girls and I really think y'all can also sense that I'm deathly afraid of y'all. So, y'all figure, since, that's the case, y'all have a STRONG desire to either FORCE me to lick, suck and sniff y'all and eat and smell y'all farts, or you threaten to beat my ass for refusing. So, if you did come to Houston to kidnap me, you don't EVER have to worry about me trying to leave, nor me refusing to ever ass worship you; especially, since, I'm afraid of good-looking, sexy Caucasian girls and getting my ass beaten by y'all.

    I was also told before by a good-looking, sexy Caucasian girl, that she would raise the money to come kidnap me, and to make sure I ass worship and eat her farts without refusal, she was gonna get a bunch of her good-looking, sexy Caucasian girlfriends to help kidnap me and I'll not only have to eat her out, but, I'll have to eat them out or they ALL will BRUTALLY kick my ass; they'll break open my brain and cause my not to be able to think anymore. Good thing, I LOVE Caucasian BOOM BOOM and when my breath taste and smell like sexy, Caucasian ass.

    I WISH your ass was going BOOM BOOM on my face, and as you dropped your sexy POWER in my open mouth and nose, while facesitting me, and BOOM BOOM on my foods and drinks and that my tongue was feeling the sexy squeeze of your ass.

    I don't own my own vehicle, so, it's not like I can get way from you, anyway.

    Next, I'll go into more, GREATER detail about why I'm DEATHLY AFRAID of sexy Caucasian girls.


  32. #46
    Senior Member CarolinaBelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    HAHA!!! That was so funny I hurt myself laughing!!! Thanks for sharing, WhatNOW!!!!!

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  34. #47
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    BOOM BOOM! BOOM BOOM!

    OMG I can't stop laughing....
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


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  36. #48
    Veteran Member housewench's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    oh god that was so hilarious I couldn't even laugh

    what? what even?

    I just can't

    xD

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  38. #49
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    I'm changing all my cam tag lines to, "The Good-Lookin, Sexy Caucasian Girl."

    "Next, I'll go into more, GREATER detail ..." I will wait with bated breath, good sir.

    That's a gem right there.



    :lol
    "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." ~ Emma Goldman

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  40. #50
    Featured Member Tsani's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Wow... I only ever get one line messages on xpeeps.

    My all time favorite is from there and came with the subject line of "sex". The message said "m tryna giv u lrg dick". LMAO

    I just keep picturing him trying to shove his dick through his computer screen.


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