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Thread: Lost in Translation

  1. #76
    Newbie HoneySuckle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by maryjaynexo View Post
    I just. There are so many things about this that all I can do is laugh. I just picture him coming up to someone in a bar and saying "I put my member in long," "Let me put my member in your flower of chastity." That is some semi-Shakespearean shit.
    Ha! It may have been beautiful poetry in his native language, but what ever translator he used totally butchered it. All I know is that I will now and forever think of my lady bits as my "flower of chastity."

    Quote Originally Posted by IsobelWren View Post
    That's close enough to, "It puts the lotion on its skin" for me!
    I know, right? It totally creeps me out when they phrase things in third person. *shiver*

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  3. #77
    Member bigladyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Had this genius in my room today:
    bb, wanna do lamp?
    lamip*

    me: "what the fuck is a lamip?

    light no?

    me: shut the fuck up
    ban

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  5. #78
    Veteran Member PrincessLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Guy: MIRA AUN NA!
    Me:
    Guy: MIRA AUN NA!
    YOU KNOW KAYTIE


    Whaaaaaa???



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  7. #79
    Senior Member Vanessa_Paws's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    "Close boob now"

    Appearently he didn't want to see my boobs anymore. thought it was a nice little spin on open chest.

    "Read u book of love bb black eyed peas"

    I don't know if that's a black eyed peas lyric or not...

    "Shit you for young principle?"

    LOL I love English mess ups.

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  9. #80
    Senior Member prisma146's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by IsobelWren

    That's close enough to, "It puts the lotion on its skin" for me!
    Omg LOL!!!

  10. #81
    Veteran Member Timor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Guest77565: please make me have a look in your body ok.
    me: Why do you want to look 'in' my body? Are you a registered and licensed mortician?

    Stripperati: "We all whore ourselves out in love, in life. You think you're not being exploited in a cubicle? This is exploitation on my terms."

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnylexie View Post
    "A dollar, please, kind sir! I will fist all my holes, squirt to stain the ceiling every minute and fart the National Anthem in the end! Just a dollar!" And the kind sir would answer: "Oh, but you have to be naked when asking".

    Twitter : @Jolie_CG
    joliecg.tumblr.com

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  12. #82
    Member e-stripper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Tonight this happened in private..

    him: i want 5 finger discount
    me: huh? what are you looking to steal sweety?
    him: 5 finger discount on chest
    me: :cracking up: what???? you want to STEAL my tits?
    him: ok, 10 finger discount
    me: i have no idea what you're asking
    him: going to rip off chest and run down street
    me: ummm.. ok.. but i'm kinda attached to my boobs
    him: me too. 10 now. on boobs.

    I think he wanted a handbra cuz he quieted down after that but kept calling me a whore. At least then I could understand him lol


  13. #83
    Member CharlieDoyle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by camgirl View Post
    My recent - and I wish I had saved or took a screen shot is...

    "Do you want to play wheel of fortune except with my cock?"

    "What is that"

    "It spins round and round and with a gassy motor"

    "What?"

    "Where it stops nobody knows; are you ready to play?"

    "Sure, OK"

    "ok, I will spin my gassy cock, are you ready?"


    At this point I ignored him, for one, I have no clue what a gassy cock is, second i dont understand why it is associated with wheel of fortune. At one point I asked if this was like a "helicopter", where guys spin their dicks, which shouldn't be sexual, other than a laugh or ice breaker. And he cont. until kick! (he didn't come back thank goodness)

    I don't get it!!! Gassy cock?! LMAO
    OMG hahaha I had this guy too!!! I'm not really sure how he wanted me to "spin his cock" so I just spinned my dildo around and he said I did it right. hahah but it was weird and I was confused so I kicked him out because I was so annoyed.

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  15. #84
    Senior Member Vanessa_Paws's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    SHE WILL SHOW ME PARTICLES SHE WILL SHOW ME PARTICLES SHE WILL SHOW ME PARTICLES SHE WILL SHOW ME PARTICLES

    me: what particles sweetie?

    him: SHE WILL SHOW ME THE CHEST PARTICLES

    I felt like I was talking to an alien or something.


  16. #85
    Member VictoriaRattie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    I love this thread! I found it yesterday and was inspired to start keep track of my weird ones!
    Today I got:

    Him: u mind for cold slices in paco
    Me: I'm sorry...I..don't understand what you're saying. Could you rephrase it?
    Him: i pickle they
    Then he left and my regs and I had a laugh.

    I also had this one...
    Him: yOU GONNNA TICKI IT IN THAT PUSY>
    Me: I...errr...uhh.......wha-?
    Him: *log off*
    All of us: O_O....?

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  18. #86
    Featured Member OJenni!'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    him: I want to watch wood in leg. Open legs!
    me: umm.. you want to see me spread my legs? I can do that for you in private
    him: No wood in leg! Show wood in leg!
    me: Do you think I am a guy? There is no wood in my legs or between my legs.
    him: No! Not man! Show wood in leg now. Every lady have wood in leg.
    **at this point I have no clue what he could be asking for so I ignore him.**
    ****enters private******
    him: Woods in your leg. Now view!
    me: There is no wood in my legs. As you can see I am a normal female and there is no wood. If you were asking about a dick, I am sorry I do not have one.
    him:No dick I dont want. I want see wood!
    me: I don't know what you want
    ***10 minutes go by and he does not say a word.***
    him: Dummy. I want wood in leg. Slut dont give. BYE




  19. #87
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by OJenni! View Post
    him: I want to watch wood in leg. Open legs!
    me: umm.. you want to see me spread my legs? I can do that for you in private
    him: No wood in leg! Show wood in leg!
    me: Do you think I am a guy? There is no wood in my legs or between my legs.
    him: No! Not man! Show wood in leg now. Every lady have wood in leg.
    **at this point I have no clue what he could be asking for so I ignore him.**

    him: Woods in your leg. Now view!
    me: There is no wood in my legs. As you can see I am a normal female and there is no wood. If you were asking about a dick, I am sorry I do not have one.
    him:No dick I dont want. I want see wood!
    me: I don't know what you want
    ***10 minutes go by and he does not say a word.***
    him: Dummy. I want wood in leg. Slut dont give. BYE
    LOL I wonder if he'll leave a comment like "asked for wood in leg did not show disappoint" LMAO I wonder what he was trying to say?

  20. #88
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    On another note I had a customer once type to me in private for a good long while in wingdings :/

  21. #89
    Senior Member Seductive's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by OJenni! View Post
    him: I want to watch wood in leg. Open legs!
    me: umm.. you want to see me spread my legs? I can do that for you in private
    him: No wood in leg! Show wood in leg!
    me: Do you think I am a guy? There is no wood in my legs or between my legs.
    him: No! Not man! Show wood in leg now. Every lady have wood in leg.
    **at this point I have no clue what he could be asking for so I ignore him.**
    ****enters private******
    him: Woods in your leg. Now view!
    me: There is no wood in my legs. As you can see I am a normal female and there is no wood. If you were asking about a dick, I am sorry I do not have one.
    him:No dick I dont want. I want see wood!
    me: I don't know what you want
    ***10 minutes go by and he does not say a word.***
    him: Dummy. I want wood in leg. Slut dont give. BYE
    I'm pretty sure he was asking to see your pubic hair. I know in a couple different languages the pubic hair is called forest, woods, or bush. Or he could have been completely crazy and wanted a pirate with a peg leg.


  22. #90
    Featured Member OJenni!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seductive

    I'm pretty sure he was asking to see your pubic hair. I know in a couple different languages the pubic hair is called forest, woods, or bush. Or he could have been completely crazy and wanted a pirate with a peg leg.
    Oh he saw lots of my bush in private, I was 100% nude



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  24. #91
    Member VictoriaRattie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    I had this one yesterday.


    theyd fern an corn for life taht lime piles ok

    It was all he said, but it was the same person as the first guy in my last post.
    We've determined that he is drunk and using a translator.

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  26. #92
    Featured Member Rina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by OJenni! View Post
    him: I want to watch wood in leg. Open legs!
    me: umm.. you want to see me spread my legs? I can do that for you in private
    him: No wood in leg! Show wood in leg!
    me: Do you think I am a guy? There is no wood in my legs or between my legs.
    him: No! Not man! Show wood in leg now. Every lady have wood in leg.
    **at this point I have no clue what he could be asking for so I ignore him.**
    ****enters private******
    him: Woods in your leg. Now view!
    me: There is no wood in my legs. As you can see I am a normal female and there is no wood. If you were asking about a dick, I am sorry I do not have one.
    him:No dick I dont want. I want see wood!
    me: I don't know what you want
    ***10 minutes go by and he does not say a word.***
    him: Dummy. I want wood in leg. Slut dont give. BYE
    LMAO in real life, what the fuck? Does he have a pirate fetish? At first I thought maybe he wanted to see pubic or leg hair, but I see that wasn't it. I really, really want to know what the fuck this guy wanted. LOL
    "You want to fuck with eagles you have to learn to fly"- Heathers
    Quote Originally Posted by Graceface View Post
    ho ho ho ho merry banmas!!!!

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  28. #93
    Senior Member Lexilexxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Here's two I got last night...LOL!

    "Eat yourself to tit please"

    "Do yourself a butterfly tits"

    This was from the same guy...and OMG what a great laugh the room had.

    Loving this thread!

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  30. #94
    Veteran Member PrincessLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessLuna View Post
    Guy: MIRA AUN NA!
    Me:
    Guy: MIRA AUN NA!
    YOU KNOW KAYTIE


    Whaaaaaa???
    Finally figured this one out. Turns out it's an affiliate marketer advertising me named "Kaytie" or "Kate" Learned it last night when a couple of people kept coming into my room and was like "Hi Kate!" "where are you Kate?" "Are you there Kate?" A kept thinking "Y U CALL ME KATE??" And then it dawned on me. I don't really mind them advertising me, I just wish I get a better cut of it T_T lol



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  32. #95
    Senior Member Vanessa_Paws's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    him: ᏣᏔᏍᏚᎳ ᏒᎾᎭᏌ
    me: I'm not Cherokee, babe, I'm Ojibwe.
    him: INDIAN HOW INJUN LOOK CREE LAKOTA CHEYENNE SHALISH NAVAJO SHIT PIT FIREWATER

    It's like he just kinda went and and took all the tribe names he could find easily on google and mash them together...don't really know what he was trying to say though.

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  34. #96
    Moderator IsobelWren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    I have a couple free gold shows a week for members of my website so I've got to start the GS even if nobody pays on SM. Usually at least 5 people from my website show in their free viewing window and I chat with them. This time, nobody showed at all until there was only 20 minutes left in the show. It was some randoid German dude who kept saying that he was so excited he was the only one here. I talked to him for a while, since he didn't seem to want me to do anything, when I tried he'd direct conversation back to something I had to think about. He told me all about how he's a 24 year old tennis pro with a "little more than 7 inch" cock and a virgin who likes anal sex with Russian girls but also masturbates a lot. Clearly something was already lost in translation.

    About 7 minutes before the show was over, both a guy from my site and a reg who paid from SM come in. I ask them what they'd like to see, since the German guy hadn't done anything but go on and on about Russian girls, etc. One says asshole, the other says pussy. I assume a position that allows them to see both. The German then says the most bizarre thing he's said all night

    ok wait
    i get the fucker to outfits
    uuuuuuuuuuuuu
    tiebrake
    TENNIS ... tiebrake
    funny

    There are 3 minutes left in the show. The reg from SM says, "welp, show's over" and leaves. I look at the guy from my site. He shrugs. The German adds

    yes the smack
    tiebrake?
    smack that ass
    H
    O

    I think he was going to type T but the show ended.


    I

    Quote Originally Posted by Renton View Post
    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

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  36. #97
    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    (This chat log has not be edited in anyway. This is really how the whole session went!)

    hi
    you yes
    get your dark dildo your natural looking one
    to suck
    nni
    you yes
    yes please
    you fseklgdolf
    gnsup]d
    nni
    you yes
    your bra off
    dark didxig
    nni
    you yes
    give me a blowjob
    you yes
    you ye]y ues
    you yes
    talk dirty
    using blowjob
    continously
    nni
    you yes
    you like sucking
    my dick
    you say mmmmmmmmmmmmm
    you closer
    you say mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    you handjob
    too
    dont
    change
    position
    you closer
    yes
    better
    say blowjob
    continously
    in sentences
    you dirty slut
    you sniff
    that dirty dick
    you clean those sweaty balls
    nni
    you yes
    my cocksucker
    you face
    is fucked
    you can do it
    you faster
    you gag
    you deepthroat
    moan louder
    nni
    nni
    tou y yes
    you yes
    you must suck
    very fast
    handjob too
    nni
    you yes
    you masterbate

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  38. #98
    Senior Member Caramel_BBW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Um...when you figure out how to dirty talk while giving a blowjob...share with the class? lol






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  40. #99
    God/dess Classy_Katy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by Caramel_BBW View Post
    Um...when you figure out how to dirty talk while giving a blowjob...share with the class? lol
    It's a fine art LOL
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    Follow me on Twitter @ClassyKatyxxx

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  42. #100
    God/dess justanothercamgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lost in Translation

    Quote Originally Posted by Caramel_BBW View Post
    Um...when you figure out how to dirty talk while giving a blowjob...share with the class? lol

    I literally mumbled dirty talk at him while doing it because I found it so funny!

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