I would have choked cuz I would have been loling while giving a BJ
I would have choked cuz I would have been loling while giving a BJ
I read that whole blowjob thing as some kind of crazy poem. Hahahahaha.



"wood in legs"
Do you think he meant to stick a dick in you?
I got this message in my cam gmail inbox this morning. I have no idea where this guy found me from:
"HELLO GOD I HAVE DREAMED TO BE CHOSEN BY YOU IN A BREEDING SHEEP AS ITS EASTER MEAL AFTER YOU DOOR TO ME HIS HOUSE AND I slaughter YOU PERSONALLY AND AT THE END OF EVERY PART OF ME She devours assimilating and digesting substantiates THE REST"
'Kay. Not whether to be disturbed by this, or... ? A few minutes later he sent a follow-up email:
"prejudice divine mistress are stefano a boy of 21 years Italian. by chance I bussiness your site I have saved as a favorite and one night by chance I had a dream.
I dreamed that I choose you I in a flock of lambs as your Easter lunch you take me away ALIVE AND YOU PERSONALLY MI slaughter. POI (TRY ALL NATURALLY making pain or pleasure, whatever you want)
TE devour EVERY PART OF ME AND I PLAN PLAN finish DIVINE IN YOUR BELLY then I immerse myself completely in your gastric juice which I break down and take only the best parts of me the rest of the digest and produce ...
if the case could be heard a few bu"
It's scary that things like this don't bother me anymore. In fact, I found myself laughing hysterically, but also, finding this kind of sweet in a way?





Well, I guess he dreams about cam ladies a lot... because he sent me the same onehahahaha
The subject line was 'your past', and I also got the last line that was apparently cut off
"I immerse myself completely in your gastric juice which I break down and take only the best parts of me the rest of the digest and produce ...
if the case could be heard a few burps would be the best"
I wonder about these guys all the time. Do they just have this list of emails to forward to when they get horny? I kind of thought he wanted a video request, but I wasn't too sure...lol
I wasn't sure if he wanted a video request, either. At first I was trying to decipher whether he wanted some bestiality or something ("breeding sheep"?!?!?!). Haha but then I think I figured it out after that second email. I'm sorry that burping part got cut off in his copypasta to me, burping is kinda my specialty![]()





This is all in pvt chat. Had it been in free I would have just blocked him. As it is, some of the things he was saying were so strange that I'm not sure he's not just a generous 4channer fucking w/me for teh lulz.
Him: damn girli wanna bite that ass ?
Me: Are you asking or telling? You know it's impossible for me to bite my own ass, right?
Him: yes
ohh
lick
sex
open
offf
This kind of thing pouuurs out of his keyboard for the entire 45 min long show. Every few seconds there is a new round of the above and of similar things like the following:
yeh
lick sex 69
no
ass
supper
fuck
duck
ah
o yeah
supper
lick titys
Fuck lover
fcuk
fcuk
i love you ass
lick
lick
lick
ohh fuck
fuck you
There were also a LOT of kissy face icons and hearts.
Selected interesting bits follow
I take the panties off and lay back.
Him: sperm income
sperm income
fuck
ss
Suck gender on
off
oo yeah
sexy baby
income
income oooh yeah
~~~
I give up on him and perform for the other guys.
Him: sperma
I'm full of into? ?
yes
lick
ooh
ohh yeh
ohh
ah
aah
aaah
oof
yes
oo yes
~~~
Someone else has asked for a dildo, so I pull it out and start sucking it.
Him: lick
speed
speed lick
ohh
ooh
ohh yeah bby
lik
lick
like lick
like you lick? ?
~~~
Him: frost back
fuck ass
offay
sekas
seak dear
Frost back? Fuck ass, okay that one I understand but don't do. I said no, he responded, "offay" Meant to say ok? Sekas? Seak? Speak maybe?
Whenever I said, "I'm sorry, I don't understand" he'd respond with a smiley face that had double smiles.
~~~
Him: ohh yeah donkey
Me: "Doggie? You want me to go doggie?" I keep doing what I was doing. He keeps up with the "ooooh" "yeh" I get bored and go doggie.
Him: aha donkey :-))
ooh
yeah
ufff yess
other?
Me: "Other position?" I turn over.
~~~
Him: fuck you ass
Me: No ass. I don't do ass
Him: fuck you ass
Me: No. No ass
Him: why is that?
Me: "I don't like it. Not here." I shake my head a lot
Him: okee
play
I play with my pussy for a while.
~~~
I'm starting to get bored again. I stop and suck the dildo for a while.
Him: ooh fuck :****
ooh
ohh yeah
ooh
ooh
yeaah
Suck and stop now
Complimentary life
Is this him trying to compliment me? "Thanks?"
Him: because of the backlog?
Me: "I'm sorry, I don't understand." I just keep sucking the dildo.
Him: :-))
ooh
terminate
terminate you
I stop.
Him: Play now
I play with my pussy.
Him: dance
Well that's easy enough to figure out. I do it
~~~
Him: I go? :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Me: "Okay! Thanks baby!" I put on my clothes, smile, sip my tea and wait for the chat to end. Another several minutes go by. He says nothing. The chat doesn't end.
Him: oke
I went to sleep. goodbye
Me: "Okay! See you later! Thank you. Bye!" I copy the chat log, wave goodbye and smile.
Another several minutes
Him: ^;^
He finally finds the end show button and I get the count down.





This is all in pvt chat. Had it been in free I would have just blocked him. As it is, some of the things he was saying were so strange that I'm not sure he's not just a generous 4channer fucking w/me for teh lulz.
Him: damn girli wanna bite that ass ?
Me: Are you asking or telling? You know it's impossible for me to bite my own ass, right?
Him: yes
ohh
lick
sex
open
offf
This kind of thing pouuurs out of his keyboard for the entire 45 min long show. Every few seconds there is a new round of the above and of similar things like the following:
yeh
lick sex 69
no
ass
supper
fuck
duck
ah
o yeah
supper
lick titys
Fuck lover
fcuk
fcuk
i love you ass
lick
lick
lick
ohh fuck
fuck you
There were also a LOT of kissy face icons and hearts.
Selected interesting bits follow
I take the panties off and lay back.
Him: sperm income
sperm income
fuck
ss
Suck gender on
off
oo yeah
sexy baby
income
income oooh yeah
~~~
I give up on him and perform for the other guys.
Him: sperma
I'm full of into? ?
yes
~~~
Someone else has asked for a dildo, so I pull it out and start sucking it.
Him: lick
speed
speed lick
ohh
ooh
ohh yeah bby
lik
lick
like lick
like you lick? ?
~~~
Him: frost back
fuck ass
offay
sekas
seak dear
~~~
Whenever I said, "I'm sorry, I don't understand" he'd respond with a smiley face that had double smiles.
~~~
Him: ohh yeah donkey
Me: "Doggie? You want me to go doggie?" I keep doing what I was doing. He keeps up with the "ooooh" "yeh" I get bored and go doggie.
Him: aha donkey :-))
ooh
yeah
ufff yess
other?
Me: "Other position?" I turn over.
~~~
Him: fuck you ass
Me: No ass. I don't do ass
Him: fuck you ass
Me: No. No ass
Him: why is that?
Me: "I don't like it. Not here." I shake my head a lot
Him: okee
play
I play with my pussy for a while.
~~~
I'm starting to get bored again. I stop and suck the dildo for a while.
Him: ooh fuck :****
ooh
ohh yeah
ooh
ooh
yeaah
Suck and stop now
Complimentary life
Is this him trying to compliment me? "Thanks?"
Him: because of the backlog?
Me: "I'm sorry, I don't understand." I just keep sucking the dildo.
Him: :-))
ooh
terminate
terminate you
I stop sucking the dildo and dance for a while, since I'm totally over playing with my pussy.
~~~
Him: I go? :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Me: "Okay! Thanks baby!" I put on my clothes, smile, sip my tea and wait for the chat to end. Another several minutes go by. He says nothing. The chat doesn't end.
Him: oke
I went to sleep. goodbye
Me: "Okay! See you later! Thank you. Bye!" I copy the chat log, wave goodbye and smile.
Another several minutes
Him: ^;^
He finally finds the end show button and I get the count down.
Isobel I've been waiting for you to post that!![]()
"Well then it's a good thing your faith in me has no impact on how much I make." - MissEgo
lol isobel.. thats so funny!!!
Yesterday I heard the best line ever..
And after that I kept repeating it over and over to the " other guys" laughing so much about it...
"you are an artist sitting on sofas"
This is GENIUS!!!
This is the missing link!
This is what I can finally write on my Resume about what I have done for the past 10 years!
Im an artist.
Why have I never thought of it this way????![]()
had this one tonight:
"hello mistress! i am here to be dominated. i need cbt. itake new nettles for that !! yet i put nettles on my balls to more sub"
Um...okaaaay.
i really don't get it. nettles? what?
also not trying to hijack, but i really don't understand why i get all the subby boys and sissies..i mean yes i have BDSM toys on my wall..but i wear a metal collar 24/7...why do people think i'm a Domme?
^^^ He probably wanted you to whip his balls with stinging nettle? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinging_nettle
Am I the only one who thought of a Dalek? hahahahahaHim: :-))
ooh
terminate
terminate you



"How long is your private?" duhhh... really? lol





A recently received request for a custom video:
Show,please, this : You leave a shower in a short dressing gown. Damp hair... Sit down on a sofa, not for long play legs, only don't grease with their cream... Fingers are already ready to a covering. Then take a varnish of BRIGHT RED color, shower a foot on a foot, lay down a hand on the bared thigh and paint nails on HANDS. Slowly and accurately. The chamber from above that all was visible. Sometimes the chamber shows legs without a varnish... Having stopped to paint on handles, look at legs and decide to make up nails on them. Turn in under itself a leg and paint TOENAILS without crosspieces between fingers, since big one after another to a little finger. Lower on a floor the made up leg and turn in under itself the second. Paint nails on it. Then clean a varnish, slightly blow on handles and on legs that the varnish has dried up. Then lie down on a sofa and fall asleep... Let the roller will be not less than 20 minutes. :-) Can so to make???
Yay Google Translate!
thanks God ur getting most of the weirdos,Isobel![]()
that qoute with " terminate you"... omggg:
![]()





Let's see if between us you can help me get it!
I'm thinking:
Walk into the room, fresh out of the shower in a short robe with wet hair (from the shower). Sit on the couch and play with my legs (but not put lotion on them). Get ready to paint my nails with red polish.
Shower foot on foot Umm, put one foot on top of the other so that he can see them both? Cross my legs at the knee?
Put a hand on my thigh so I can paint my fingernails. Take my time on painting them. The camera angle should be essentially my POV, directly down on nails, thighs, feet. Second camera angle should be just my legs and feet, no nails, or rather, just the side of my hand. When my legs are done, look at my feet and decide to paint my toe nails.
Turn under itself a leg No idea.
Paint my toenails without those toe separator things.
Since big one after another to little finger. From my big toe to my little toe?
Lower on a floor the made up leg and turn in under itself the second. I got the first part...but I'm totally not understanding this "turn under itself" thing.
Clean a varnish Yeah...what?
Blow on my nails, then lay down to nap. The video needs to be longer than 20 minutes. Can I do that?
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