So - I am so frustrated today!!!
As most of you know, I am currently finishing up my apprenticeship to tattoo, and working as a piercer as well as working online. As you may not know, I am currently paying for all my equipment, saving for my taxes at the end of the year AND paying back the last of some debt that was incurred by a bastard ex-boyfriend in my name (only $4000 to go...woohoo).
My original plan was to finish the apprenticeship and move straight to another shop in May/June to tattoo, by which point I would have finished paying off the debt, saved some money, and basically be home free.
I don't want to quit my day job until I am at a point where I can look for a tattooing job, because I don't want to be living solely off camming money - I'm doing fine, but still not well enough to feel comfortable relying on it.
So here's the catch 22. I can't quit till I feel like I am certain I will be able to pay my bills from camming until I get a tattoo job. (And I need to be able to show my partner that I can so I don't put the money stress on him) BUT I am so sick and tired of my day job, and it makes me so miserable at this point, that by the time I get home from work, I SUCK on cam!!! So how the hell can I make decent money, decent enough to quit, when the job is just DRAINING my will to live, let alone go and work it?!?!?
Tonight I came home, had dinner, and tried my hardest to relax and build up some positive energy. I went online even though I wasn't feeling it, and tried really hard to do my usual thing. But my heart wasn't in it, and I think everyone knew that. I didn't make a cent.
I don't know what to do, and I just feel frustrated and caught in a trap and overwhelmed.At worst, I will only have to stick this out for another 5 months, but five months seems like a lifetime for doing something I can't stand anymore.
So sorry for the GIANT long rant, ladies...I just didn't know where else to vent!!! I know that compared to those of you who are going through medical procedures, or those people who can't find jobs at all, this seems like a pretty piddly problem! I just needed to get it off my chest...and any advice will be more than welcome!!



At worst, I will only have to stick this out for another 5 months, but five months seems like a lifetime for doing something I can't stand anymore.
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Then after working all day......nothing.
" And then I go make some clips. I'm still not camming but at least I've thought about it, lol. 




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