Hey ladies,
Just wanted to drop a line to everyone who has been in the Chatzy room over the past month or so.
I want to tell you how grateful I've been for the chat room and how much it's motivated me to work harder and longer. There have been days when I felt like stopping for the day and I've stayed on 15 minutes longer, an hour longer, two hours longer, or whatever I need to do to make my goal, because people have been motivating to me.
I've made my goal almost every week since I joined the chat.
That said, I know that I haven't always been the most positive person. It's something I've been working on. I don't know if anyone noticed, but I took a couple weeks off from the chat room, and since I've come back, I haven't been talking as much, or if I do, it's more about other stuff like knitting or whatever and less about camming, especially if things aren't going well.. Maybe I'll mention if a lot of guys are ripping me off, but I've been keeping it to a minimum. Although I do think we're there to support one another, and I'm not really into being fake about it when I'm not doing well online, I also realize that people mostly want to hear about it when I'm doing well and not when things are slow.
Since I understand that what goes on in the chat is private, and I really value that privacy, I won't go into specifics like quoting exactly what was said or talking about who said it. I don't want to breech the trust that people have in one another in that room. However, it seems that I may have upset some people on there? I'm not really sure what happened. I always say hello to people and say goodbye when I leave, I encourage people to stay and make money, and I encourage people by telling them that I believe in them. I thought I was being generally polite and nice, and I've never blown up at anyone or told anyone off, or even had harsh words over an issue. As I've said, I know the negativity has been an issue in the past; however, I didn't realize that we were supposed to be completely censoring our camming experience.
However, there was an incident today that I found upsetting. So I just want to apologize if I actually had anything to do with it. This totally blindsided me. Someone in the chat mentioned a thread on SW (not me) and another girl cleared the chat room w/o asking anyone if she could. Then she told us to "stop it" and she left. She came back a while later, cleared the room again, and told us that we were being negative and we just needed to stop. She basically went off on us. The thing is, we actually weren't being negative. We were actually saying how much we don't like drama. Apparently she didn't read our comments right and just went off the deep end with it.
She said that everyone has been driven away from that chat because of the negativity (I assume she wasn't only talking about me) but I'm apparently the "main offender," according to her. She said that I'm NOT supportive, that I should go off and be somewhere by myself. Then she told me to fuck off. And then she said "bye bitch" and left. I thought that I did remarkably well not saying something mean during the whole thing, kept my cool. Didn't say anything to provoke her. But I was honestly quite shocked.
She then came back a while later & cleared the chat. I was actively chatting with someone about something quite positive, but every time either one of us typed a single line, she cleared the chat. After about five minutes of that, she left again.
I won't go into my opinion on the whole thing. That's not the point of this thread.
The point is to say that I really appreciate the ladies who have been in that chat room and have been encouraging. I apologize if I have ever made anyone uncomfortable or less than eager to be there. I get PMs all the time on SW thanking me for help, and I've also offered help to people on that chat as well. But according to this chick tonight, I'm NOT helpful or supportive and I'm so very negative that no one wants to talk to me anymore.
If that's honestly the case, then I sincerely apologize. I admire all of you ladies for the hard work you put in and I appreciate all of the encouragement that you've given me. I certainly would not want to be the cause of people not wanting to come onto the chat. I'm so anti-drama that I would rather be run out by someone acting like this chick tonight than to make others uncomfortable.
I can't remember the SW usernames of everyone who has been in the chat, otherwise I would've kept this to PMs instead of a thread. So if you want to PM me about it on here, I'd appreciate it. I just mean, if you would prefer that I not come back, it's better to let me know than to just ignore me while I'm on there. We're all adults. I'm really embarrassed to even write this, but I would rather embarrass myself by apologizing to you all than to have you think that I'm just some jerk.
Anyway, thanks ladies.



I've made my goal almost every week since I joined the chat.
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