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Thread: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

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    Default Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Is it easy for a dancer to tell if a customer is "submissive"? I've mentioned on here before that I have a foot fetish and would love to rub a dancer's feet, but I'm way too nervous to bring it up. Is there any way for you to tell if a customer might be on the "submissive" side? This is mostly in regard to a foot fetish, but other things as well.

    Is there a good way for me to hint at it, something that a dancer might pick up on? I guess I'm just wondering if any dancers are able to pick up on these hints.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Just tell them. I always loved foot fetishists and as long as you pay while you massage my feet (or maybe later on you don't because the massage is fantastic)I am happy. I've danced many years and the only customer I dated was a foot fetishist.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Yeah, if he opens his wallet and starts to cry.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Please be direct. We aren't psychics and can't "tell", just by looking at you. Men are sometimes awkward, shy or just not very talkative people, in general so we can't just guess your fetish based on you being demure.

    With regards to the OP's interests, specifically, I guess something that tips me off is when a man makes any sort of general comment about feet, specifically. When a guys says, "Oh, I love your shoes. You're feet as so small and delicate looking" I can kind of pick up on it and being a more forward woman, I'll just ask if that's his interest and focus on it for the rest of the time. I can sometimes gauge how genuinely submissive a guy is based on how well he responds to my giving commands, outright. I had a really good experience, just the other night with a peepshow custy who barely spoke English. He just had that desperate, excited look in his eyes, at the start of the show and dropped when I snapped my fingers and told him to get on his knees. But really, it was more of a gut-feeling I had with him and it could have just as easily gone awry.

    Don't play hard-to-get with your fetishes, guys. We're here to give you what you want. A closed mouth doesn't get fed.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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    Senior Member $$$YvonnE$$$'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    I honestly can't really tell what a customer will be like until I start dancing for him/he gets turned on. I've had the custies that seem like the nicest guys turn into assholes/pushy guys once I get them in the back. I can never tell just by general conversation if a customer is going to want to rub my feet. Usually he will just say so once we start the dance, in which case I am more than ok with it if he is paying me the same amount as if I were dancing for him.

    What exactly do you mean by 'submissive'?

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Thanks for the responses so far. As to what I meant by submissive, $$$YvonnE$$$, is whether a dancer would be able to tell if a guy would prefer her to sort of take charge and be a bit more dominant, such as asking him to rub her feet etc. I guess that would depend on the dancer though and the customer being more vocal about what he's looking for?

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    I assume this would work as a hint....

    Her.....''Hi...my name is Laurisa''

    You.....''Hi MISS Laurisa.....my name is Randall.''

    Laurisa.....''Would you like a dance?''

    You....''You're the boss''

    From there...compliment her feet....her shoes...ask if her feet hurt. If she doesn't catch on by then...she is not the one you are looking for. Remember...pay her if you are 'doing her feet' as opposed to her dancing. Time is money. Don't expect her to sit there and let you rub away without compensation when she could, should and needs to be making money.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    A simple "How much should I tip you to rub your feet during this dance?" usually suffices.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Compliment her shoes or feet...I've ALWAYS figured it out that way and took the lead. Most custies compliment a strippers boobs or ass, or call her sexy, or something. If the first thing you notice and comment on is her feet/shoes, she will know.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    What Raider and the others said. I love foot guys.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Thanks for the suggestions. I think complimenting her shoes would work better for me, as I'd be too nervous to compliment her feet right away. She'd probably get the message from complimenting the shoes anyway.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    i dunno. a lot of dancers aren't aware of that. and it seems like you're more into her telling you to do it than in asking, so if you ask, you probably won't get the same experience you're hoping for.

    i've become aware of submissive guys over the years. they have this look they get when i look at them, well a couple looks depending on the guy. it was hard to notice at first, because it looked a lot like guys who are just rude or dismissive. then i noticed that they held themselves a bit differently.

    but even then, i'm not a fucking mind reader. i'd have to figure out that being forced to rub feet was what you're into. you'd probably have to spend a decent chunk of money while i figure out what your weak spot is.

    so decide what's more important to you: submission or rubbing feet. if you just want to rub feet, it's fine to just ask. otherwise, you'll have to be patient, and don't be a cheapass.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Sanctuary is correct, and I forgot to add that part. Whilst I figured out subbies pretty quickly, not all strippers well. So, the foot compliment may not take you anywhere if the girl isn't particularly in tune with what's going on. So, you may have to spend some money in tips until you find the right girl.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    i've become aware of submissive guys over the years. they have this look they get when i look at them, well a couple looks depending on the guy. it was hard to notice at first, because it looked a lot like guys who are just rude or dismissive. then i noticed that they held themselves a bit differently.
    That's interesting. Would enjoy hearing more about the body language that you're talking about. Might be similar to how a shy guy acts when around a hot girl. When I was younger, like middle school, high school, etc, I was a shy guy, and I found that girls usually thought I wasn't interested in them because of it. Shy guys have it tough because girls tend to write them off as not interested if the guy doesn't respond to the girl's indicators of interest immediately. So if a girl smiles at a guy or whatever, and the guy doesn't smile back, he's pretty much lost his chance with her. I'm talking real life here of course, but even ITC, I've found that it's hard to get a stripper's attention once you've dismissed her the first time, either through body language or through not buying a dance or whatever. I suppose girls are just wired that way. But not all guys who don't show interest right away are disinterested, rude, or dismissive. A lot are shy or introverted and need to be coaxed out of their shell a little.

    Of course none of us can read minds so it's not fair to expect the girls to figure this out. But sometimes if a guy doesn't seem interested right away, maybe give him a chance to be interested later. He could be getting up the nerve to talk to you, or could just be thinking about something else when you first try to make eye contact or whatever.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    [quote=$$$YvonnE$$$;2238274 I've had the custies that seem like the nicest guys turn into assholes/pushy guys once I get them in the back.[/quote]

    I guess that means they wanted sex.
    You shurely noticed that nearly all men get assholes after some time and thats why hate them all.
    While you still have no problem making your money building desire...

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    I think a good majority of submissive people possess following characteristics:
    - Inabilty to say no
    - Avoid eye contact
    - Desire to please
    - Desire to earn your approval

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Quote Originally Posted by KeithDoxen View Post
    That's interesting. Would enjoy hearing more about the body language that you're talking about. Might be similar to how a shy guy acts when around a hot girl. When I was younger, like middle school, high school, etc, I was a shy guy, and I found that girls usually thought I wasn't interested in them because of it. Shy guys have it tough because girls tend to write them off as not interested if the guy doesn't respond to the girl's indicators of interest immediately. So if a girl smiles at a guy or whatever, and the guy doesn't smile back, he's pretty much lost his chance with her. I'm talking real life here of course, but even ITC, I've found that it's hard to get a stripper's attention once you've dismissed her the first time, either through body language or through not buying a dance or whatever. I suppose girls are just wired that way. But not all guys who don't show interest right away are disinterested, rude, or dismissive. A lot are shy or introverted and need to be coaxed out of their shell a little.

    Of course none of us can read minds so it's not fair to expect the girls to figure this out. But sometimes if a guy doesn't seem interested right away, maybe give him a chance to be interested later. He could be getting up the nerve to talk to you, or could just be thinking about something else when you first try to make eye contact or whatever.
    well, to be fair, the look is more of the *i see him looking at me through the corner of my eye, so i look at him directly, and he looks away*. this is really common in stripclubs for guys who are looking but who don't want you to actually come over to them, for whatever reason. with the submissive guys, there tends to be something different in the posture, more broken looking or something.

    one of the big keys is that the subs will usually keep doing this shit repeatedly, which usually evokes a visceral hate sort of feeling from me. i'll feel disgusted by their presence and want to yell at them to stop fucking looking at me if they aren't gonna look me in the eye. i've had guys follow me around the club pulling this shit. unfortunately, i can't do that, because then they'd just jizz in their pants and leave. it's very hard for me to just gather myself calmly together to hustle them once i'm feeling this way.

    i don't like to go up to talk to someone if they are refusing to meet my gaze. traditionally, that sort of thing is best interpreted as someone trying to avoid an interaction with someone they don't want to talk to.

    this is a whole level apart from just shy.

    i'm trying to just get more ballsy about telling guys they seem like perverts, but lord knows it took me years to even figure out that was what was going on.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    this is a whole level apart from just shy.
    I see what you're saying now, and I agree. It's one thing for a guy who might be a little shy to look at you nervously instead of giving you a big confident grin. It's quite another thing for a guy to repeatedly play some sort of game of "betchya can't catch me looking at you!" That sort of thing is a bit odd and is probably the result of a submissive streak that is almost fetish-like. I can see why a lot of dancers wouldn't want to deal with men like that. Though I imagine that fetish guys probably come to the club very willing to spend money.

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    Default Re: Can some dancers tell if a customer is submissive?

    In response to the original poster, I have found that it can be difficult to subtly communicate one's submissive tendencies to a dancer. I am personally a submissive guy that enjoys ballbusting, trampling, and foot worship. My only purpose when going to a club is to spend money to engage in these activities. However, it is not easy nor in line with my fantasies to bluntly ask for those activities in exchange for cash from a dancer. Rather than getting dominated by a dancer who perfunctorially beats up on me because she is getting paid for it, part of my submissive fantasy is to interact with dancers that actually enjoy inflicting pain on me or at least act convincingly so.

    With that background aside, here are some strategies I have used successfully . . .

    As KS_Stevia suggests, complimenting the shoes is often a good approach. Often when a dancer is wearing big, black platform boots, I'll make a comment like, "I really like your boots. You look like you could kick some ass in those." Or, "I really like your shoes. They're pretty intimidating" when a woman is wearing some shoes with studs on them.

    Another line of conversation I've gone with is something like, "What's the craziest thing you've seen in this club?" Often a dancer will report some guy getting dominated or wearing lingerie under his clothes or some event related to dominance/submission like a guy wanting to get kicked in the balls

    Sometimes when a dancer has kind of a kinky/dominatrix-type vibe I will bring it up like, "Wow, you have sort of a dominant vibe/demeanor. Has anyone told you that before? I think it's really hot/cool."

    Anyway, those are some of the conversation starters that I've used to see if a dancer sort of fits into what I'm interested in dominance-wise. I've had some pretty good luck and visit some women on a regular basis for some fetish play. Others dancers who don't pick up on the hints, I just assume (incorrectly I'm sure in some cases) are not naturally predisposed to being dominant and as such, don't fit what I'm looking for.

    Hope this helps

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