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Thread: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

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    Senior Member bunny8558's Avatar
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    Dizzy Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    I worked a long shift Sunday in order to guarantee that I made some headway into my new car fund. I did the mani-pedi beforehand and got new perfume, so I felt fantastic and gorgeous. I determined that it would be a good day, and it was until I went on my last stage rotation.
    This thirty-something guy kept telling me how beautiful I was on the side stages and to go see him for sure. He seemed fairly normal for a normal-looking white dude at the club, so I went to him and immediately went to the dance room (we only dance in rooms at my club).
    I go to dance for him, and acting like a typical creepy Houston pervert, says, "I don't want dances...not THIS. I'd rather take you somewhere else." I tell him I only do dances. He tells me to keep going then.

    He then tries to put his hand into my vazheen, I move his hand. I did this a few times during the song... he then reaches up and starts choking me PAINFULLY.

    I managed to rip his hand off and get up, wheezing "NO! Don't-" He then two-handed choked me and (at the same time) pinned me against the wall before I could get out or scream anything. I tried to grab his carotid with my new nails... he let go of my neck with one hand and tried to put his entire hand into my vagina as I struggle against the choke and attempted awfulness.

    Remember, except for brief seconds when he released my neck to choke harder to fight me back, I was being choked hard enough to see stars. Meanwhile, he was talking sh!t, telling me how I liked it and how I needed to stop fighting him.

    I moved his hand (thank God I'm stronger than I look), and he just crammed me against the wall and choked me some more. I got a good grab on his neck with one hand and another on his crotch and yanked in opposite directions. It was all I could do as his arms pinned my shoulders so I couldn't punch him (not enough room). Finally, three songs after I got in the room with this psycho, I got myself close enough to the open doorway as other girls walked by and yanked his neck and ball-zone harder. He stopped immediately.

    Now, if that sounded messed up, it gets worse. Feeling violated and pissed that he seemed to get off on all this (evidenced by his creepy grin), I began demanding that if I had to be back there with him, he needed to give me my money. I sat on his lap in the open until I did. I had to listen to him try to haggle me and convince me that I was the one who wanted it and had grabbed his neck, making all this okay. Besides, he'd never done this before except for a wild trip in Hawaii once, so he didn't know what he was doing. I told him that was obvious... I told him that men who choke women as part of sex DON'T DO ANY OF THE THINGS HE WAS DOING. I got my money though, dangit, and told him to never even think of touching a woman like that ever again. He just smirked.

    I left, told a good customer of mine what happened (I was woozy and dazed), and found a manager as soon as I could really say what happened. I was having a hard time breathing and was wondering if I'd led this guy on or something (until I remembered how little I actually said to him!).

    The guy disappeared, and ten minutes later, showed back up in his chair... probably to do it again. My manager kicked him out and banned him, and the guy was alright with this.

    Now here's the kicker:
    He called the club up minutes later and told the manager,"I can explain why I had to strangle your girl. I don't appreciate what your girls and club are selling here and had to do something about it." The manager told him he didn't care about his justification for hurting me and to never call or come back again in no uncertain terms.

    One of my dancer friends at the same club had the same thing happen to her two weeks ago!!! She told me about the bruising, the anger, the pain, not being able to scream for help... the club took care of her in the situation also.

    Now, I have a few questions:
    1) Was this guy some religious/loser psycho with a potential to be a serial killer? He seemed a little surprised and frustrated that I could handle him as well as I did.
    2)What if a smaller or less defensive and aggressive girl had gone back there with him? Geez!
    3) Is this something that's been going on a while, or is it fairly new/trendy behavior for psychos?
    4) Is dancer-strangling the side effect of having so many dirty freaking clubs in this city? Are there just no boundaries for Houston customers who feel entitled to treat us like hookers in bad episodes of CSI?
    5) Am I alone on here with this? I just don't know who I could talk to about this. My boyfriend seems to be weirded out by it-- he doesn't know what to say.

    Ahhhgggg!
    Sorry for the rant.



    I

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    Senior Member bunny8558's Avatar
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Also, sorry for typos/grammar/rambling. My brain hasn't been on all 8-cylinders since this.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    wow! what club was this? that guy was probably just a chauvinistic PSYCHO! I wouldn't have sat on his lap anymore! I would have let him keep the money & tried to get a manager to get it bcuz who knows what else he would have done. my life is way more important than any amount of money he had! sorry that happened to you. again what club was this?
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    He choked you and sexually assaulted you. He needs to be in jail.

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    Veteran Member Cammi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    That's the most out of order bullshit ever. If a guy tried to pull that stunt over here he'd get the crap beaten out of him by the dancers and thrown out onto the streets. I'm sure he's done it before and will do it again somewhere else.

    Sorry you went through that

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Wow I would have seriously beat the shit out of him. At no point after he put his hands on me would I stop and I would have said fuck the money. It makes me so angry reading this... I seriously would have beat him until the cops were called.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    I am so, so sorry. No one deserves that. If anyone ever experiences something like that at work or elsewhere, I urge you to call the police and file an assault charge.

    I can completely understand that you may have been shaken, woozy, and "out-of-it" immediately following this whole incident, so of course the natural course of action would be to make sure this guy got away from you and didn't come back (rather than thinking about pressing charges). I just hate to think that a scumbag like that might think he can do this kind of thing to strippers (or women in general).
    "I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them"
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    I don't understand why you sat in his lap again. That baffles me. He didn't pay you, and he assaulted you....... does your club not have bouncers? I understand you couldn't yell for one but once you left the room you decide to SIT IN HIS LAP AGAIN, instead of calling a bouncer. Gah!

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Yeah, I wouldn't have sat in his lap again.

    I would have ran out of there and notified security or a manager. I would have had my phone out and been dialing 911 on the way to notifying them.

    I know if a guy smacks your ass or lightly bites you that's no reason to call the cops, but if someone is trying to strangle you/kill you/seriously harm you or disable you then that is a reason to call the cops. I know the clubs hate when girls call the cops, but I wouldn't have cared. I would have filed charges.
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    wow poor thing. i know "what I would have done" comments are not what you need to hear right now. Not helpful at all!
    Im so sorry you had to go thru that babe *hugs* dont try to hold it in talk to whoever will listen. itll help you get it off ur chest. dont second guess yourself, or feel like you did the wrong thing or whatever. Relax and try not to be upset.
    "We are the coolest mothafuckas on the planet....The sky is fallin ain't no need to panic"... -Outkast

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    I'm seeing a lot of victim-blaming here. She had just been physically and sexually assaulted - just like with rape, everyone responds differently, including going into shock. When you're in shock you rely on your normal patterns of behavior, which for a stripper include demanding money for your time. If I were her I probably would have done the same thing - gone into shock and forced the dude to give me money as the very LEAST he could do to make up for his inexcusable behavior.

    I'm glad the dude got kicked out and your club supported you. Does your club have cameras in the backrooms? Consider taking the tape to the police and filing a report. Even if you don't have tape, consider filing a report. This guy is a crazy and should not be at large, and if he does the same thing in the future there will be a trail of matching police reports indicting him. If you see him in your club again, be sure to tell your manager.

    I'd suggest that right now you write down everything you remember about him (looks, clothes, marks/tats, age/height/weight) and anything he told you about himself. Then write down everything you remember about the assult, in clear detail. This will come in handy if anything further happens or if you decide to file a report. Our memories are surprisingly bad, and we forget important details quickly, so do this now, today.

    There are multiple counseling lines out there for people who have been assaulted and molested. Consider calling one, even if only once. There are also lots of great books out there (you can get them out of the library too) that will help you deal with the aftermath of assault and PTSD.

    You didn't do anything wrong. You dealt with it the best you could at the time. Now is the time to protect yourself, legally and psychologically.


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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Get that guy in jail. I've never had this happen to me, so I wouldn't say it's normal or excusable.
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Sweetheart, I agree with Fantasy Architect, you need to get all that information written down, and go to the police with it NOW. This is how serial killers start out, there is a good chance if you do this now, you can stop it from happening again, if the police get a call about another incident, they will have all the pertinent info.

    You also should talk to someone, a friend, a counselor, anyone. You are probably still in shock, and really need to talk this out. Surround yourself with friends and family, and supportive people. This guy was a grade A douchebag, and really probably a baby serial killer in the making. Don't worry, Karma has a way of cleaning up the universe and righting wrongs, he's going to get on the side of the wrong girl, and more than likely be beat a pulp by a pissed off bouncer at another club and what's left of him will go to jail. Focus on taking care of you.
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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by bunny8558 View Post

    One of my dancer friends at the same club had the same thing happen to her two weeks ago!!! She told me about the bruising, the anger, the pain, not being able to scream for help... the club took care of her in the situation also.
    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You can't second guess your behavior. If people on here say they would have acted differently, that is irrelevant. What matters is the way you and your club responded. I understand if you don't feel comfortable pressing charges, although I think you should. If you don't feel comfortable pressing charges, make sure your club REALLY took care of the situation. Kicking him out and "banning" him isn't quite enough. I would advise checking out what measures the club took to ban him, do they have his name and picture displayed so that all bouncers will be aware that he is banned?

    I hope that you are recovering from this OK, it sounds very traumatic, espeically knowing it has happened before.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    If this would have been in my club, the cops would have been called and we would have forced him to stay there until they arrived to take his psychotic ass to jail.

    Fuck this. I hate that this kind of behaviour is becoming more common. Go to the doctor as well and make sure you haven't suffered any damage. The anatomy in your neck is really fragile.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    I want to know why in the hell weren't the bouncers around? That is fucked. I would definitely go to the police and remember you aren't to blame.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    I am sorry that happened to you. That is really scary. I am glad you got away and he got banned. One time I was bending down to a guy to talk and ask for a dance and he put both his hands around my neck- he didn't squeeze hard but it totally freaked me out. I agree the neck is an area that is not meant to be messed with.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    What a psycho!! Glad you're okay

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    im so sorry this happened to you. i hope you are ok and that karma strangles that guy to death.

    and to all the posts saying how much better you would have been at handling the strangler: go fuck yourself, the poor girl was traumatized. you have no idea how you would have reacted in the same setting. so unless this has happened to you, why dont you provide some support for a fellow sex worker like you are supposed to on a stripper support forum.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Senior Member MiaStarr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    How awful that had to happen to you!! OMG. In a case like this I'd try to get his ID (if he had a bar tab) and call the cops - that is just outright violent assault and he'll probably keep on doing this to other girls at other clubs any chance he gets. I don't want to make you feel bad because I can't imagine being in your position - you must have been in terrible shock (and still are no doubt!). I feel that your manager should have taken this further than just banning him, he sounds like a dangerous man. I hope you are doing OK.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    ^^ I agree, if anyone failed to take the proper action at the time, it was the management and not the victim.

    OP - as far as your questions at the end of your post: you say this happened to a friend of yours at another club, and wonder if this is some kind of sick new trend. Do you know for sure it's not the same guy? Did you describe the man to each other?

    Just a thought, but if you think it could be the same guy, and either club has a way to find out his name (cc tab, or comething along those lines), would you consider reporting him together? Perhaps it would be easier emotionally if you felt like you weren't alone in the whole police report ordeal, and I believe that the police might take the reports more seriously since there are two of you.
    Last edited by Natalllia; 11-09-2011 at 10:36 AM.
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    im so sorry this happened to you. i hope you are ok and that karma strangles that guy to death.

    and to all the posts saying how much better you would have been at handling the strangler: go fuck yourself, the poor girl was traumatized. you have no idea how you would have reacted in the same setting. so unless this has happened to you, why dont you provide some support for a fellow sex worker like you are supposed to on a stripper support forum.
    maybe we're saying what we would do so if it happens to someone else they can think of different ways to handle the situation.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Wow! Thanks for all the support!
    To clarify some stuff that came up:
    1) I sat with him for two reasons: 1)money since he wasted my time, and 2) with our club setup, he could have disappeared if I'd just gotten up and gone to the back to get a manager. I was trying my best to look for a manager while sitting with him and at least make him think that he was in the clear. I was afraid he might get one of the smaller, younger girls and hurt her even worse. I didn't want that to happen again that night. Our club knows who he is now, and he can't do this at my club again.
    2) My friend works with me at my club, and it happened there. It was a different guy.
    3) The guy only paid cash and hightailed it out of there when the manager confronted him. We do have surveillance video of him and his name-- the club won't even let him in again since his face and name will ping the system to not let him again at the front.
    4) I have not worked at a club yet with an official bouncer. A doorguy and the manager I dealt with that night have no issues with playing that role. Managers check the dance rooms regularly-- one had just checked my hall minutes before I got in a room.
    5) As far as filing a police report is concerned, I live in Houston. I've been robbed blind before, had friends assaulted, etc. and the cops never show up in these normal circumstances. My luck, they would have taken me to jail for defending myself. We get little police support since my club is outside city limits anyway-- I guess we would have to call the Harris County Police or something, and I'm sure that would have went just as poorly.
    Texas, and especially Houston, thinks we're all hookers anyway and treats us like such. Oh, and not to mention I have a little girl-- my ex would love to have county evidence that I am a stripper in a dangerous job. Going to court with this could ruin my life-- getting strangled only ruined my week and my current job satisfaction.
    6) I'm trying to figure out if I should contact a state/county employee concerning his potential to be a serial killer. I just want to give them all the information that I have-- I don't even have his name though.
    7) And I tried to beat the shit out of him while he was hurting me. He had claw marks all over his neck... deep ones.


    I understand why everyone is trying to say what they would have done... it's not always as easy as you think when you dance in an area where police don't support clubs and the law barely treats strangulation as assault. If I'd beaten the crap out of him, I could have gone to jail and he might not have!!!! (This is common in strangulation cases since strangling leaves damage and marks the next day or later, while clawing and hitting to defend yourself leaves immediate marks on the perp.) Once again, I have a small daughter and wanted to make sure I got back home to her.
    I looked up legal precedents on non-lethal manual strangulation, and apparently it's difficult to take someone to court on it due to the way juries and courts in general don't understand the risks involved. Many men get away with it or get a misdemeanor charge as if they just hit a woman. Add the strip club setting to the description of the incident given to a Texas court, I would just be smeared in the papers. No thanks!!!
    So yeah. It's awesome being a woman in Texas.

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    Senior Member bunny8558's Avatar
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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Oh, and let me add that this is the safest club I've ever worked.
    I'm wondering if all this assault and sexual assault here in town (guys are FORCEFUL here) is coming from all the sex being sold in so many clubs in Houston.
    It's almost as if the sex in the club fetish is burning out for men here, so now they're moving to their rape and abuse fetishes. Ugh.
    Just to clarify domestic strangulation is a felony in Texas only as of 2009!!!! And this only applies to your actual partner in a year-long relationship!!!!!! Putting him in jail would be difficult to do for more than a few weeks, if even that.
    My reputation is worth more than revenge. I think I may call a county investigator to give him/her a heads up on the trend at work. Houston may be breeding serial killers.

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    Default Re: Great Day at Work Yesterday... except for the whole STRANGLING part!!!!

    Oh honey I am so so sorry to read this, you poor thing. I definitely suggest reaching out to talk to someone, do you have a local maybe YWCA? Just, that's so traumatic and those things can sneak up and bite you and your mind in the ass.
    What a sick bastard. I am REALLY glad that your club has a way to do facial recognition to ban him. Thank god. It's really terrifying that happened to your friend/coworker and it being a separate perp. Jesus. Idk the circumstances w/your friend- but is there anyone you know that could make a possible statement to the cops about the fact of the repeated behavior?

    Quote Originally Posted by bunny8558 View Post
    I understand why everyone is trying to say what they would have done... it's not always as easy as you think when you dance in an area where police don't support clubs and the law barely treats strangulation as assault. If I'd beaten the crap out of him, I could have gone to jail and he might not have!!!! (This is common in strangulation cases since strangling leaves damage and marks the next day or later, while clawing and hitting to defend yourself leaves immediate marks on the perp.)
    I was in VA, and it wasn't in a club but my god i do identify. I was in an abusive relationship, and when it started to get bad it got bad he strangled me and I had a cervical spine injury (took a bit for me to realize that-it wasn't until i was hurt again it was found out at the ER. if you are able to see a doctor and are having mobility issues or pain please get it checked). I actually got away and called the 911. The police showed, and since he had claw marks, from me you know DEFENDING myself, the cop threatened to take ME in. So i know the horror of that. It took more assaults, and eventual broken ribs for me to be able to get an EPO (emergency protective order). The system effin sucks- sharing b/c i beat myself up for that/and felt guilty/and allowed myself to blame myself in that.
    Take care of yourself through this, take gentle care of you and again, so so sorry you had to endure this. You're a tough cookie, and obviously really care about others in how you were worried about the potential he'd hurt someone else. Sounds like he'll keep it up and is a sociopath but at least he can not get back in there. Again- maybe someone you know could go forward to the authorities (but again at the same time i have about fuckall trust in the police handling that sort of thing, but i try to remind myself i'm being overly jaded)/

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  2. Had a great day on my first day of MFC!
    By BritnitheSWITCH in forum Other Work
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-10-2011, 07:32 PM
  3. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 02-13-2009, 06:37 PM
  4. Yesterday was my first day... I'm so sore!!
    By judashearts in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-28-2008, 09:28 PM
  5. My first Day was GREAT!
    By trinity2005 in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-20-2005, 09:22 AM

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