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Thread: drug tests: how to pass em

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Mind Blowing drug tests: how to pass em

    Ok, so i am applying for a day job because i am bored and need to keep myself out of trouble and I will need to pass a drug test to do it. Im not a heavy pot smoker, but within the past week i may or may not have smoked a couple of bowls here and there.

    I can have 10 days preparation for the test after the interview apparently. i normally drink a lot of water, and like i said, the pot that i may or may not have smoked is not a large amount, so i feel like this should be doable.

    but what are your best tips for flushing your system so you can pass a test? I need to be doing something other than stripping and partying to keep myself out of trouble, so please.... help!
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Senior Member HollyStJohn's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    As gross as it may sound, find a friend or family member who doesn't smoke and get a clean sample from them. Keep it somewhere warm when you go in and you're golden. /terriblepun I've seen it work many times now. :p Otherwise you might just want to go the iffy route and drink lots of water and work out 'til you sweat it all out of your system. You might be able to clean yourself out in 10 days.

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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    And, drug stores sell drug tests.

    For $50 you can buy a standard ten panel and see what you're going to test positive for as the date approaches.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Drink lots of green tea, raw cranberry juice (no sugar), and anything with high amounts of caffeine, like Monster Energy drinks that cause you to pee and sweat a lot. Cut all salt out of your diet and just fast on caffeine and cranberry juice for three days or something before the test.

    You should be able to do that and just take a test from a drug store to double check, but ...

    At headshops and online, they sell a liquid niacin drink that's about 1,000 times your normal daily requirement of niacin. It is strong diuretic and will cleanse the system but it is VERY, VERY hard on the body. It is not good for you at all and it has not been tested by the FDA.

    I honestly wouldn't reccommend this to anyone, especially since you aren't in any kind of super dire circumstance where you NEED to pass a test.

    Good luck, let us know.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Taking pyridium will give you an inconclusive result and buy you more time.

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    ^that's interesting. What's pyridium? And would the inconclusive raise any flags or is there a normal margin for error on these suckers?
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    By far the most definitive guide:

    http://norml.org/legal/drug-testing/...g-testing-tips

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    THC gathers in fat cells, so yes fasting, and consuming huge quantities of water will help flush it out.

    As for urine. Yes someone else's whom you know is clean. You going to need a spill proof container that you can keep on your body. (body heat).

    I suggest a vaccum sealed bag of about four ounces, hidden between your breast under a sports bra.

    Do need to pee when you go in, and don't throw the container in the trash.

    Nip the bag open with a pair of nail clippers and fill the cup while you pee.

    Golden.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    ^that's interesting. What's pyridium? And would the inconclusive raise any flags or is there a normal margin for error on these suckers?
    Pyridium is Uristat OTC. No red flags, just tell them you forgot you took it and thought you might have a UTI.




    Chemistry: Everyone should take it.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Quote Originally Posted by Kat w View Post
    Drink lots of green tea, raw cranberry juice (no sugar), and anything with high amounts of caffeine, like Monster Energy drinks that cause you to pee and sweat a lot. Cut all salt out of your diet and just fast on caffeine and cranberry juice for three days or something before the test.

    You should be able to do that and just take a test from a drug store to double check, but ...

    At headshops and online, they sell a liquid niacin drink that's about 1,000 times your normal daily requirement of niacin. It is strong diuretic and will cleanse the system but it is VERY, VERY hard on the body. It is not good for you at all and it has not been tested by the FDA.

    I honestly wouldn't reccommend this to anyone, especially since you aren't in any kind of super dire circumstance where you NEED to pass a test.

    Good luck, let us know.
    Niacin doesn't make you pass drug tests, it's a myth. The only thing that drink will give you is the shits and severe dehydration.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    If you're going to use someone's clean urine, put it in a condom and keep it under your arm. Friend of mine did this and it worked and stayed warm.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    You could stop using drugs. I'm shocked no one has suggested this yet.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    ^^i need to pass a test in 10 days and have smoked pot like 3x in the past 3 weeks. i dont think it is anyones goddamn business what i have done in the past 3 weeks. i dont need any condescending posts implying i have a drug problem... bite me. maybe if you read my OP you would notice that the problem is not me continuing to do drugs, but flushing my system of a very small amount of thc that might be in my system from earlier on.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Geez I'm not judging you cuz you smoked some pot chill the fuck out. You're right it is your business. If you don't want opinions don't post this shit in the forums. I was simply suggesting you stop using them 'cause it wouldn't hurt to help you pass your test. Fuck jump back in bed and get up on the right side.

    Oh and the title of the this thread is: drug tests: how to pass em. The easiest way to pass them is to not use drugs.
    Last edited by lokikola; 11-09-2011 at 09:57 AM. Reason: added somethign.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    you dont need to use someone elses pee. please dont do that its gross and more likely to get caught... my ex, when i was alot younger, smoked weed literally everyday sometimes even the night before a test (he was stupid dont do this) and he would still pass by drinking huge amounts of water. gallons of water on the day of and the days leading up to the test and it worked and he would pass. dont waste your money on pills or expensive detox drinks.

    also this only works if they do a urine test they can still do a hair strand test which theres no way around unless you shave your head lol. those are rare though.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Soo... my bf detoxes all the time&& we're smokers. [Stfu...idgaf =) ]
    Usually its WATER, WATER, WATER.
    Work out a lot so you can **sweat it out of your system.**
    If you go to a gym, buy one of the stronger energy drinks they sell.
    && there are TONS of detoxes that actually work at the Smoke shops--I'm small, so if I buy one of the detoxes for people w/ heavier body masses it'll work. Ya just gotta be able to chug it like a champ. --Ask the clerks-- just make sure they know WTF they're talking about-

    Good luck!!

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    Veteran Member phoenixxxrising's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    I know of some ppl who swear niacin worked for them. I can't say personally if it does but I do know that the whole sweating & increased water intake helps a lot & if you have 10 days to take it you should be fine.
    Follow your heart and do what feels right for you, because that’s living. Everything else is dying.

    “Things may come to those who wait…but only the things left by those who hustle.”

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    Geez I'm not judging you cuz you smoked some pot chill the fuck out. You're right it is your business. If you don't want opinions don't post this shit in the forums. I was simply suggesting you stop using them 'cause it wouldn't hurt to help you pass your test. Fuck jump back in bed and get up on the right side.

    Oh and the title of the this thread is: drug tests: how to pass em. The easiest way to pass them is to not use drugs.
    But I think the point is she already had when she found out she would need to do the test and pot stays in the system so it was already too late. I don't think she was gonna keep smoking up to the day of the test (but maybe I mis-read)...

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    Geez I'm not judging you cuz you smoked some pot chill the fuck out. You're right it is your business. If you don't want opinions don't post this shit in the forums. I was simply suggesting you stop using them 'cause it wouldn't hurt to help you pass your test. Fuck jump back in bed and get up on the right side.
    BS - you posted an ignorant, uninformed, rude, judgmental post and you got called on it.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Loki you know I like you and I've stuck up for you on several posts, but c'mon. You're better than that. If Athena wanted an antidrug lecture she would have visited the DARE website.

    And for me, the tried and true remedy of cranberry juice. There was this one kit called Black magic that they sold a few years ago and it worked like a charm. Dunno if it still even exists.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
    you dont need to use someone elses pee. please dont do that its gross and more likely to get caught... my ex, when i was alot younger, smoked weed literally everyday sometimes even the night before a test (he was stupid dont do this) and he would still pass by drinking huge amounts of water. gallons of water on the day of and the days leading up to the test and it worked and he would pass. dont waste your money on pills or expensive detox drinks.

    also this only works if they do a urine test they can still do a hair strand test which theres no way around unless you shave your head lol. those are rare though.

    The hair test is for Cocaine. It is expensive and unlikely an employer would go to it for a normal 9-5.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    ArmySgt is on the right track. THC is initially absorbed by body fat and then slowly released over time as fat is created and burned on a daily basis. So if it's a more than 4 or 5 days before the test, then try to get as much out of your body ahead of time via fasting, excercise and lots of water.

    However, as the time gets closer, shifting gears makes more sense to me. To counteract the release of THC, you need to put your body in a mode of putting on fat and not buring it. So constantly snack often on fatty foods for several days before the test, including waking up several times a night for midnight snacks. And try not to excercise or otherwise be very physically active. Don't burn that fat!! I don't see a problem continuing to drink lots of water at this point to keep flushing out any remaining THC in your bloodstream.

    Of course, you'll probably need/want to shed a few pounds after the test with fasting and excercise again...

    The "put on weight" advice was given to me many years ago by a relative who is a practicing physician. I was clean, so I can't say if it worked for me. But it seems to make a huge amount of sense to me and I trust my relative to give me good and knowledgable information.

    Good Luck!
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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    i dont do drugs but im just curious lol... for hair strand test... what if you have bleached or colored your hair. would it change the chemical makeup of the hair so that it would be untestable?

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    ^^ No. They test the follicles.

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    Default Re: drug tests: how to pass em

    my ex had to get drug tested regularly for probation and was the BIGGEST pot head. Literally the night before the test we would go to a bar and he'd drink a lot of beer (kinda like others said to drink water or whatever cause it makes you pee a lot). He also bought one of these "flush it out of your system kits" in some convenience store and it always worked like a charm. Just do that and I'm sure you'll be fine cause it wasn't a lot for you...

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