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Thread: Really Awkward for a first post

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    Sad Really Awkward for a first post

    I've lurked here for awhile and I must admire everyone (almost) on this board. From tears to laughter to WTF, the SW community has gotten me through some tough times.

    I've been a dancer on and off for 10 years. I struggled with drug addiction, depression you name it. About 2 years ago I met a man that had a past as brutal as mine. We fell in love, but it wasn't without turbulence. We fought constantly. When we were great we were great but when we fought we were terrible. From past issues to our sex life to interfering family members you name it we've had it out. We've made many false starts and stops trying to work things out. We've been teetering on the edge of breakup for a few months now but nobody really wants to let go.

    Enter a young hot 21 year old nerdy type stud. I met him at the club I was working at and he became a friend over the summer. I contacted him after a short hiatus from dancing and he started coming in to see me. (I'm sure you all can see where this is heading) It started out as just sex but then I found myself falling in love with 21 year old guy. The problem is now my boyfriend is actually putting in effort to making things work, whereas before he didn't give a rat's ass. I have feelings for both of them and I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone about this. There are no children involved. (I am aware that I am going to get some inevitable hostile responses and that's ok because I did ask for outside advice and I'm not gonna like everything I hear)

    Has anyone dealt with an affair? What did you do? Did you confess? Leave your partner? Please help even if I do get a hostile response. I'm just tired of keeping this bottled inside.

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  3. #2
    God/dess LAChloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Really Awkward for a first post

    Are you legally married?

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    Veteran Member peachplumpear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Really Awkward for a first post

    She met him 2 years ago, I didn't hear anything about marriage. Are you implying that an affair is inconsequential unless it is outside of an actual marriage? It's still a big deal.
    "You wonder why the fuck I rap?
    It's deez SeXaY BiAtCHeZ on mah lap!"
    -peachplumpear

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    Senior Member Candy Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Really Awkward for a first post

    Pick one based on where you see your life headed in the next 2 to 3 years. Cut the other loose being very nice and loving about it. Don't confess -- keep your business to yourself. Just straighten it out so there's no more dilemma or risky behavior.

    Lucky gal to have two you really like.
    Smoke good, eat good. Drink and f*** good. Comin' to the club, stuntin' how you should. My s*** on fire I don't need no gasolina. I'm comin through the block with the new two seater. Cash rules everything around me -- C.R.E.A.M. -- get the money! Dollar dollar bill, y'all!!! FREEZE!!! You know who it is!!! It's me *****es!!! Showtime!!! -Swizz Beats

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    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Really Awkward for a first post

    Go with your bf, he's trying. In my experience the other man is rarely the best choice.

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    Member Leighton's Avatar
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    Default Re: Really Awkward for a first post

    I know relationships require work and difficult times are inevitable, but it shouldn't be a constant thing. I know you said your boyfriend's making an effort, but it might be too little too late. Are you still in love with him, or are you on your way falling out of love with him?

    Are these feelings for the new guy deep, or is it just the excitement of something new?

    Either way, it seems like you've moved on from your boyfriend. Maybe you should spend some time on your own, without a man.

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    Moderator IsobelWren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Really Awkward for a first post

    So there's some really interesting research coming out about "mate competition" or "sperm competition" that shows when a partner, a man especially, has a feeling that you've found another partner he'll try harder to win you back. So it's entirely possible that your boyfriend is trying harder now because either you're putting off an, "I'm considering leaving you" vibe or because on the hormonal level he can tell you've been with another man and his body is telling him to work harder to make sure he wins, not the other guy.

    For your part, how over your boyfriend are you? Do you think you can regain the trust and love you once had or are you just ready for it to be over? If your boyfriend found out about the affair would it be over? You may drop the nerdy guy for the boyfriend only to have the boyfriend find out and dump you. The old, bone in the water fable.

    OR you could pitch it to both of them that you stay with both of them and have an open relationship. Best of both worlds. Especially if one of them is bi or bicurious. Sexy MMF threesomeeeee!


    I

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    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

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