handled




handled
Last edited by smeca; 12-12-2011 at 08:12 AM.
Why can't your man put her in her place?
"Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."





I know you're upset but let's think rationally. #1, if you get in a fight you're either going to go to jail or get a huge ticket right? #2, your man should be telling this chick to back off. If he's not then that's the problem right there. #3, do you not trust your man? Do you think she's going to steal him from you?? If you're that insecure about the last 2 scenarios then you're not withthe right person anyways. Trust is key in every relationship.
Tell your guy to stop having any contact with her.. If he does leave him. Its his fault not hers.
If your man is faithful and ignores her advances then that's probably the biggest insult for her... From personal experience these bitches like a reaction and the attention that comes with it, whether positive from your man or negative from you....
Being ignored drives them crazy. I know exactly how you feel, I wanted to jump on them and claw their eyes out - my ex was a z list (or whatever is even lower than the z list!!) sportsman and girls would still try it on left right and centre. They did it mostly for him but they also did it to wind me up - it was blatant.
They feed off the drama, when they didn't get it, they'd implode, have their embarrassing tantrum, get the attention they wanted and look like a fool, give up and slink off the radar with red faces.
Just from personal experience... I'm not a fighter either, but the times I did go for it turned into bloody world war three... the temptation of drama is just too much for them!




He can, but he has fucked up too, but that is another thing i don't want to go into. I need to deal with her. I'd rather not have to linger for days at the building she may study in in the hope of seeing her. I could probably bump into her on a night out in the uni club, she'd be drunk though.





Honestly, I'd leave it alone. Some good advice here, esp. natasia. If he sees you doin this type of thing, he may even start to encourage it..
I had an ex. that was super hot, model/actor hot. I mean he'd get attention left & right. I'm no plug ugly myself, so..he'd actually get more jealous over me. I did not encourage this type of thing.
I'm not saying you don't have a right to be upset, but it would seem to cause more problems than anything
MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP
-Eartha Kitt





My husband gets a lot of girls crushing on him. It's irritating sometimes, but he never hesitates to make his boundaries clear. If you don't trust him to do the same, I'd say this chick is a symptom, not the problem. You should never have to "claim your territory".
So what you are saying is that you think she will actually get somewhere with your man.
Why are you with someone who wants to be with someone else?
There is a lot of smart advice in here.....so you can either do the SMART thing......or......what you are thinking about doing.
You are not going to keep a man faithful by beating up the women who come near him.
"Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."




I'm not going to start a massive fight, but for my self I need to give her a piece of my mind. She probably knows he is not available, girls shouldn't go after taken guys


Are you just going to talk to her and tell her that he's your man and it's not happening? Because if you NEED to do that for yourself then go for it. The girls are just saying that if there has to be the worlds "she probably knows he is not available" then that's a red flag coming from you man :/ She should already KNOW, because he told her the SECOND she seemed like she wanted more than a friendship. Or even before that, if he just said something that randomly said he had a special someone. I get that you need to make a point that he's your and no one elses, but this just seems like something that unless he can do this for himself he clearly wants the attention. :/





Coming from an occasional psycho jealous bitch, I'm going to opt for the middle ground. Don't start anything physical unless she swings at you number 1. Number 2, don't stalk her work, that just makes you look pathetic and gives her the validation she needs. Next time you see her, be sweet as pie, never raise your voice and inform her the next time you see her doing anything inappropriate you will give her a free meal at the whoop ass buffet.
And what exactly is she doing? Cause I have learned from my mistakes about being jealous...this chick posted a flirty message on my fiance's facebook wall and I sent her 30 threatening emails stating I would dismember her, decapitate her and feed her to my burmese python. (A bit extreme and silly looking at it today)
"Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
Tempest
Oh...i think even approaching the other woman makes her look pathetic. Its saying: "My man would prefer you over me, so the only way I can stop you from stealing my man is to threaten you"
The smart, classy, secure & mature thing to do is talk to her man, telll him that some of the shit is making her uncomfortable & he should put an end to it. That is saying, "I'm better than her, my man loves me, she is no threat to our relationship"....going to the other woman is the exact opposite of smart, classy, secure & mature.




I don't really want to go in to it, but there's a bit of a mess atm. Not so much a mess as to just 'leave him' as is often the advice, things aren't as simple as that. But I'm not going to sit here doing nothing about her, things go two ways and she has massively fucked things up.
Thanks for the middle ground tempest, i won't wait around for her lol.
I understand where you're coming from - I really do. I've had my own BS drama with my bf's ex-fuck buddy. Originally, she got him almost beat-up because he dared to bring me into the bar where she works (when she wasn't even there...) and I was livid. I wanted to go back to the bar and tell her off. Or take his phone, call her, and tell her to stay the fuck away from my man. I didn't. Then, recently, she started trying to be all buddy-buddy with my bf again. I was enraged thinking about her pulling this shit. But again, I didn't tell her off myself. Why? Because it's childish and a little crazy. You don't want to "sit here doing nothing about her," but what you should be doing is talking to your bf about it and how it makes you feel and how you don't want him hanging out with her and encouraging her advances anymore. I know you envision the sweet release of anger when you get to tell her exactly what you think of her, but shit like that is only cute (and effective) in tv shows. In real life, it makes you look psychotic and insecure, and chances are you won't scare her - any bitch that knowingly tries to take another girl's man probably isn't the kind who gets scared from confrontations with other women. You'll just piss her off or give her a little "high" from her game and make her want to try to take your man even more. Things will escalate until one or the both of you have assault charges against each other and your relationship will be destroyed by the drama you caused trying to save it. Boyfriends may not be perfect, but he should be able to listen to valid concerns about some shady bitch and deal with it himself to fix things... that's like one of the number one things any bf should be able to do - not encourage other women to flirt with and try to get with him... You say "she's massively fucked things up" but she can't fuck up something that he doesn't allow her to fuck up. If I'm understand your vague comments of "he fucked up too" to be that perhaps he's cheated with her before, then the thing that needs to be done to repair the trust and damage is him cutting her off and telling her to go away. This is a problem with him, not her, and he's the only one who can fix it. If he can't even do this one crucial thing, I don't understand why it shouldn't be as simple as walking away. And if he's already done this like he should, then why do you need to start the drama of telling her off yourself?
Like I said, I completely understand the feeling of wanting to tell a stupid bitch off yourself, but someone in this situation needs to act like the adult. Because when everyone involved doesn't act like an adult, things do not get solved - the drama only escalates. The way I see things playing out if you track her down and tell her off is that she gets pissed, goes after your man even harder, you get more pissed, she continues, and then either your man finally cheats with her or things escalate to the point where your man decides he doesn't want to deal with it all - either way, it destroys your relationship anyway. However, if you talk to your bf and he mans up and just handles it like he should, she goes away, you know you can trust him, and you don't have her to worry about anymore... Life doesn't have to be theatrics and drama - things get solved much more smoothly when you just do the smart, mature thing rather than the reality tv show thing. In my mind, the only reason to go this route instead of the "talking to your bf" route would be for the sake of drama, not actually trying to fix things, because I'm about 90% sure that it will just stir more shit up without solving a thing.
Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 11-10-2011 at 03:51 PM. Reason: further clarification




Hmm that's a good argument. He has agreed to have nothing more to do with her. I'm not as angry right now so i may try and avoid becoming psycho woman...




I agree with everyone mostly... Keep it classy, let your man handle it etc.... But as the OP said sometimes you just have to put a bitch in their place. Not neccesarily stomping up go her, chest puffed out and ready to fight but coolly and calmly letting a bitch know that you AIN'T the one. People of low character often mistake classiness for weakness and passiveness and sometimes you need to assert yourself more forcefully with this type of person.
Handle things in such a way as to maintain your self respect > stalking a chick for talking to your dude.
Just putting that out there.
For all you know... she's pursuing him because she's being encouraged. Tell him to handle it. If he doesn't... fuck him. I'm not saying you have to break up with him... but if he's unwilling to take care of a situation that's clearly bothering you... at least you know he doesn't have much respect for your feelings up front.
By even addressing her, you're acknowledging her as a THREAT and that's what anyone who goes after a taken individual wants. I'm just saying.





Keep the ones that want to stay, cut loose the ones that want to roam.
Nothing else works beyond the next sunrise.




So i will be attending an event tomorrow with an old club of mine where she will also be. I'm going to have to think of something to say, calm and polite but maybe a bit threatening. I would feel rather pathetic being in the same room as her and 'ignoring' her. If any of my old acquaintances know anything that's happened I'll look walked-over. Unless i can look dignified in not giving her attention?
Gah, so much other shit has been going on the last week or two, not even sure how much i care about this girl anymore. :/
^^ Ignoring someone in a blatant way, or even giving them a dry look and turning away as though they're not worth your time sometimes sends a stronger (and classier) message than getting up in someone's face. Not in an "avoid her" sort of way, but in a way where you go about your business and if she's in your space, she's in your space, but you don't even acknowledge it - like she's not there, like she's nothing. It's saying that she's not a threat and it's beneath you to even waste your breath on her. This is what I've always done to petty bitches. Others go out of their way to walk clear on the other side of the room to get past them - I just walk right on past with my head held high. I've seen some nasty looks out of the corner of my eye, but they can't say shit cuz I'm refusing to acknowledge them and they don't want to be the one to start shit. And from my experience, girls are always in that mindset with their enemies that they just want them to say something - that "bitch, just gimme a reason" mentality... but if you don't give them a reason, it makes them really angry, because they can't get it out of their system without being the one who looks like "the crazy bitch who started it." So much more frustrating for them.
Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 11-12-2011 at 01:16 PM. Reason: additonal comments
Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
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