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Thread: Bullying/harassment from other girls

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    Veteran Member BringOnTheMen's Avatar
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    Last edited by BringOnTheMen; 07-28-2012 at 09:13 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    I don't give a fuck if they throw it, crumple it, put it in my garter, my shoe, between my tits, in my thong, or in my hand. Just tip me, bitch.
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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    The wisest thing I've ever done and have made sure to establish at EVERY club I work at, is this: tip everyone well. Bartenders, waitresses, door girls, dj, bouncers, etc. This incredibly decreses the chance that they will be somehow involved in any plan to fuck with you. If you've done that, continue to do it and lay on the super sweet attitude reeeeeaaaallllly thick.

    I had a similar situation with a girl who hated me just for being new. But every time she got in my face, I ignored her entirely or got a bouncer....and my manager praised the hell out of me for not participating in the bullshit.

    Meanwhile, another girl is also having problems with her and they got into a fist fight in the DR....guess who got fired....

    Whatever you do, don't take matters into your own hands. If you can stand it, ignore her stupid ass and she will eventually get over you and maybe even respect you. If you can't just ignore her, then talk to management. Let him know you hate to bother him with trivial shit but it's getting out of control. Even if he's annoyed, he will much prefer that response over, say, beating her ass.

    Good luck hon!
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    Veteran Member Tiabambina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I was having a similiar issue for a few months. A minor complete misunderstanding led to a girl bullying me. I'm by no means tough and this girl came from a drug infested/hard lifestyle. I just ignored her for months until one day in the DR she layed her hands on me. I did go to the manager just to let them know what happened (even if they did nothing). I was really well liked by them but they did not fire her. Because this girl was such a loose canon, she started doing it to other girls as well and eventually she hit two other girls. She was fired (in my opinion it took too long but whatever) and then I no longer had to deal with it.
    I would say just ignore them until they get themselves fired. Make it known to either a manager or bouncer that your in with about the situation. Then when she does it to someone else (You and your friend can't be the new ones forever) and management finds out, they can be fired.

    In the mean time, I would try to always know where they are (can be a pain) so you never end up in the DR with them alone. So if that means staying on the floor you're whole shift, perfect! You'll make more money anyway. Hopefully everything works out, I know it can be a bit stressful but it will pass.

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I'm prone to thinking they might be hazing you and it will eventually die down. They sound like they are looking for any excuse to become violent towards you. If you aren't responsive to them then they will eventually lose interest and move onto someone else.

    As Ferrah mentioned it would be a good idea to tip the staff heavily for now and tell the bouncers and the door guy to keep an eye on you. Make sure you are tipping them more than you think the bitchy girls are tipping though, because money talks.

    Hang in there!

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I don't know how realistic this is or how helpful it will be, but I feel like they shouldn't be knowing exactly how much you guys make each night. Maybe you and your friend could try "accidentally" complaining about money in front of these girls a few nights - going "Damn, I hardly made anything tonight!" whether or not it's actually true. Maybe they'll finally feel more secure and back down a bit. If they're seriously keeping such close tabs on your money-making that they'll know this is bullshit... well... I guess that explains why they don't make shit.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I don't have any real advice. Hopefully your intuition will warn you before the escalation begins, but I have to say this:

    Jealousy, hate, envy---after you get over the first speed bump of taking it personally, or caring, or making sure people know you're not the one at fault, can be a HUGE adrenaline-pumping fuck-yeah for money. Hell, even if you're not making that much money, it feels good to be bopping around to your own beat, talking to custies, and knowing that the haters are wasting their time bitching about you-- giving you an even better advantage on the floor working the guys.

    I once had two chicks scrawl my name with the message "is a whore" in the two girls' bathrooms. I joked around to everyone that I could only wish they'd done it in the men's bathroom, because even though I was pretty busy that evening, talking that sort of shit would have guaranteed me back to back dances all through the night

    They proceeded to get drunk, and mix their alcohol with their meds.

    Guess who made more money that night?
    Ungoogle yourself:


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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Keep on doing what you're doing and once they realize that you're not going to stoop down to their level and engage in the drama, they'll move on to an other target. It's only fun for them if you feed into it and it escalates, and if you just keep ignoring them then they don't get that.

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I don't like the idea of tipping people extra. How are they even to know that you didn't just make a lot of money and are simply tipping out on it? You would have to say, "You know I only made such and such but I am tipping you out extra O_O .

    Also I think that people who work in strip clubs develop a sense of entitlement (bartenders anyway) and they feel like they deserve every dollar they get so you aren't even doing them a favor.

    I put away good money while I was working as a stripper but it was partly because I was careful with my money. I didn't throw my money away and I think over tipping is throwing your money away.

    I would deal with the bitches by smiling. Give them a nice smile and maybe say something like, "Oh wow you look great tonight." That is free and it might even work. Be friendly but never be friends.

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    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    There was a few girls that Hated hated me when I 1st started, but they just talked shyt while I kept making money & soon they shut up cuz I earned my respect as I didn't let them bother me.

    Then later after I was already a vet at my club there came this other girl I didn't like off the bat that just had issues with everybody so she gave me mad rude attitude. I kinda enjoyed it cuz I knew she was jealous & she made so little & meant so little to me that I laughed at her. Plus it gave me an excuse to be mean & bitchy 2 a new girl for the 1st time in my life so I pretty much let it be known if she dared tried anything I was going to just beat her pregnant looking busted ass. There was even 1 time she bumped into me by mistake & almost ate it, but it looked like I had pushed her off stage. Anyhow no1 came to her rescue & I think if I had every1 else would of high fived me for doing so. Still she knew better then actually fight w/ me she was a pussy that was very physically afraid of me & I just loved every ounce of envy & fear she gave it. It made me feel even more powerful over sad and hopeless head cases like her.

    Now however I do have major problems with a girl i work with, but it's more like ex gf drama then anything, but still she loves to scream things at me while I'm up on stage, or collecting tips, & she has tried to get me fired. I try to ignore her as much as possible becuz she is bipolar & always on something so 1day she is singing me love songs in the back next she is shouting at me calling me a stupid bitch or saying something slick under her breathe to piss me off. It's a mutual love hate where sometimes I want to push her off stage & spit in her face & other times I want to push her against a locker & just have crazy makeup sex with her, but while it bothers me that I simply can't seem to be able to complete ignore her & or find peace putting it all behind us part of me gets a kick out of how hard she tries to get my attention & how she just might talk alot of shyt, but obviously she is not any bit over me. Still I don't want to have to deal with it always being a part of my workday, but it just is what it is.

    My suggestion is take it all as a compliment, but keep yr guard up & if they go to far go to management about it or change shifts/clubs if you can't handle it & yr management refuses to help you out with them. In my case I know my managers would actually fire or chance shifts of other dancers if I had serious issues with them I felt I was in danger of--which is hardly the case so I put up with the drama as I'm partly to blame & I know I can dish it right back to any girl that dares to try me as I'm a strong minded person with very thick skin so must the hate & bs I just laugh off as jealousy & insecurity.
    "Happiness does not depend on material things, but on having others pay for them"
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I usually ignore the girls at work. I work in large clubs with minimum 60-100 girls so most are busy and mind their business. Though when I was recently in Denver it was slower and the girls didn't really like me and my friend because we were out of towners and money maker I only know because they kept asking oh how long are you two staying and they would watch us. One bumped into me and she said sorry I was like whatever because I thought it was intentional and she screamed you don't have to be a bitch. I figured I better appologize since she came in and hung out with some guy and was pointing at me and I know she was telling everyone about it but that's about the most drama I has anywere lately because I don't make friends and let others know my business the less they know the less they can say.

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    If you're worried about them hurting you and/or your things, I'd start keeping a record of things they are doing. That way if you ever do have to go to the police, you'll have a nice little report of your own to hand over.

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    Ugh I so agree with this. I don't know why every employee seems to think they are entitled to a portion of my money and why every girl I work with feels like if she doesn't hand everyone a $20 they won't be able to eat that night. I get sexually assaulted by 90% of the customers and I'm not able to throw that money down the drain.
    I agree. Tipping out a minimum is important and helping a fellow employee who helps you is great but the excessive tipping means there are nights when the floor guys make more than the dancers. This would happen frequently at my old club (not making more than top earners, but making more than a number of decent dancers), and on top of it they're getting wages! (And not getting naked, harassed, fined, etc...)

    Didn't mean to highjack the thread... I totally agree that you should kill them with kindness! I am hessitant to go back and it's because I've been bullied like this before. It was really difficult. I tried playing down how much money I was making and it only infuriated the girls more. Be safe and maybe mention it to one of the bouncers you trust, that way someone else can keep an eye on you.

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I'm sorry about suggesting that you tip out heavily... Its something that helped me out when I first started and was dealing with 11 girls pissing all over anything I owned and wanting to beat me to a pulp every day, lol. The bouncers and doorguys were happy to keep an eye on me because I was tipping them out 20 bucks each a night. So again, sorry if it was a stupid idea It was just the first thing that came to mind because it had helped me out in the past and my own experiences are the only thing I can base my answers off of=)

    Does your club have a fixed schedule? Maybe it would be easier if you could avoid those girls altogether...what a stressful situaiton=/

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Im sorry you are dealing with that. Keep your head high and IGNORE THEM. Pretend they arent even there.. They dont exsite! Keep yourself busy, dont even look at them, act like nothing happened, laugh and enjoy your time within the club... They'll notice that, they may get worse but realize you wont move so they will give up.

    If the staff wont do anything, I wouldnt bother letting staff know. My club wouldnt bother or forget.. As some girls in my club suck dick and I dont, my manager asks me where I have been and I tell him "working where girls dont such dick." So.. he pretends to look the other way. I doubt they will backyou up, you need to ignore them. Girls like that love attention back, ones you show them youre on the high horse they will stop.

    I had a small conflict with a girl at my club, she sucked dick, manager loved her as she tipped him nicely, she never got in trouble, guys liked her for sucking their dick. Then there was me, never causing fights or conflicts with people, paying my fees all times, following the rules. Her and I had major "bitch of the stare" contest for about 4 months. Now her and I dont bother doing that, I show her Im better than her, Im smarter, Im clean, and get in her "terrority" where she stands, she hasnt been there whenever Im there and stays clear.. All I did was pretend that she wasnt there in the end.

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    So there are these two girls at my club who hate me and my friend and lately have been doing everything they can to bully us. About a month or so ago (when they were being mean to my friend but not me), one of them actually came up to me and told me "I just wanted to let you know that I still like you but I hate your friend. I hate it when new girls come here and make money." Over the past month, me and my friend have become the top earners here and those girls are not happy about it. So they are no longer nice to our faces. One of them came up to my friend out of nowhere and called her a cunt for "staring at her." She also goes out of her way to shove me aside and they talk shit about us when we aren't there (other girls tell us). Right now, I actually find it extremely amusing and it's actually improved my earnings because I've gained confidence from witnessing how jealous and insecure they obviously are about us making money. For example, they line up with other girls and stare at me when I'm onstage, obviously trying to freak me out, but it works in my favor because I put on a great stage show and make a lot of money....so again, it's all just funny to me.

    However, since their bullying is obviously not going to accomplish what they want it to, I'm worried that it'll escalate- ie, having the valet guy fuck with my car, fucking with my locker, or physically trying to harm me. Is there anything legally I can do to protect myself against them? Should I report them to the manager and report the management's actions (as he will most likely ignore my complaints, since they are also the club prostitutes who "take care" of all of his VIPs) to corporate? This manager will not fire me because I make a lot of money for the club, but he will also probably not fire these girls because (when he gives his extras seeking customers to them) they also make money, not to mention they tip him out a very large percentage of what they make, which I do not.

    Have you guys ever been in a similar situation? What did you do?
    Don't report it to him because then YOU'LL be on his radar and he'll start expecting high tipouts or he will make your life hell. Trust me, I know too many girls who did the same thing to him. Those girls WANT you to go to the manager and complain so that he'll end up pretty much forcing you to quit. He will ALWAYS side with them. Especially if its who I think you're talking about. Don't do it. Just ignore them. Eventually someone new will come that'll take your bullied spot.

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Just smile when the custies say that and tell them she doesn't matter, its our time now and take them to the room. If she comes in and trys to bother just tell the guy to keep his eyes on you, and she will go away.

    I don't think you can use this line but I always like to say children always want attention and then smile.

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    Senior Member TigerToes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    When i started dancing i quickly became top eaner at the club i was at. it put another girls nose out of joint and there was alot of dirty looks, bitching just loud enough for me to hear, telling the doormen she thought i was a dirty dancer and geting them to watch me dance etc etc and to be honest it sounds similar to your sitution, the girl who is picking on you sounds like a total COWARD, she gangs up and stares = COWARD, bitches behind your back = COWARD, i got sick of the girl i had to deal with and walked right up to her while she was bitching just loud enough for me to hear and asked what she was talking about, she soon backed right off, the girls she was hanging around with didn't wanted to get involved because none of them really liked her they just put up with her, it was a case of loyalty that is gone like a fart in the wind!

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Damn, if she put this much effort toward, you know, working, she might actually make decent money herself and not have to be jealous of you. Maybe you could use this to your advantage to be able to say "Yeah, she can be pretty annoying during dances - maybe we should move this somewhere more private where she can't bug us?" to try to upsell to VIP? If management won't do anything about it, it's worth a shot anyway.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Damn, if she put this much effort toward, you know, working, she might actually make decent money herself and not have to be jealous of you. Maybe you could use this to your advantage to be able to say "Yeah, she can be pretty annoying during dances - maybe we should move this somewhere more private where she can't bug us?" to try to upsell to VIP? If management won't do anything about it, it's worth a shot anyway.
    very good idea.

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    Veteran Member MysteriousMisty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I wasn't bullied but I was harassed by weak minded, jealous racist ass holes at one dump. One of the best things you can do to protect yourself since the manager won't do anything to put a stop to the bullying is document each and every incident so you can file a worker's comp suit against the club somewhere down the road. It'd really be great if you had a hidden camera somewhere to record these incidents so you can use it against them to further help your case. But most definitely document everything that happens. If using valet isn't mandatory, I'd suggest parking your car somewhere else or have a friend drop you off and pick you up.

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    If a dancer is getting bullied, there must be a darn good reason for it (no, making more money is not a reason). I don't think the OP is a saint, just saying; she might be rude or something...

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I just ignore other girls. I'm there to make money, not friends.

    I try to be very cordial to other dancers even if I don't particularly like them. Most of the girls that harass me do it passive aggressively and spread rumors which I don't even care about.

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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    I had this problem at a club I was working at. I was bullied by many of the other dancers because I was making more than them and cleanly. They made my life a living hell and on top of it several dancers were sleeping with the owners. I ended up quitting and going to another club. I made a few changes when I switched clubs and the most important was not to get mixed up in any drama. At the other club I would sit in the dressing room chatting with other dancers and telling them more than I should have. At other clubs I avoided the dressing rooms or bathrooms unless I needed to freshen up or use the bathroom. I didn't go out to breakfast with any of the dancers or become friends but was still friendly. I wasn't dragged into any drama and I never told them how much I was making. The next clubs were easier to deal with.

    I learned from the first club that I was unknowingly telling the other dancers things I shouldn't. I also learned that many dancers are bitches and it's best to avoid most to prevent drama. Also that no matter there will also be jealous dancers. I would ignore them but if it gets too rough, a transfer is probably the best solution.

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    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia_victoria View Post
    If a dancer is getting bullied, there must be a darn good reason for it (no, making more money is not a reason). I don't think the OP is a saint, just saying; she might be rude or something...
    Really? You honestly don't believe that girls get harassed out of jealousy? What a beautiful world you must live in.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: Bullying/harassment from other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia_victoria View Post
    If a dancer is getting bullied, there must be a darn good reason for it (no, making more money is not a reason). I don't think the OP is a saint, just saying; she might be rude or something...
    Girl, please

    BOM, sorry you're dealing w/this, I hope it can work out & they'll leave you alone


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