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Thread: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

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    Default Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Is there a forum/thread where I can warn you all of a customer who completely turned on me and decided t blackmail me? After doing some private shows for him and speaking to him for a month, my boyfriend and I were going to meet him for a threesome (we are swingers so this is not unusual, and we were not going to receive any monetary gain from the encounter). He said something which offended us and so the trip was canceled. This ticked the guy off and started a rampage of emails (about one every 3 minutes) which alternated between mean and nice. We refunded ALL the money he paid (less than $150) and now he is saying we owe him $500.

    Due to the refund, he found out my name and was able to discover where I worked. This is alarming because I could lose my job doing the camming. Yes, I knew this and took the risk- because I am careful and do not think my sex life and exhibitionism should have any bearing on my professional life. America is prude.

    Regardless, I want to warn others about him. He admitted to recording me, and I truly do not feel this guy is stable.

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    What were you thinking? Sorry but $150 does not sound like enough money for me to even consider giving these guys anything other then a cam show (maybe an hr or 1.5 hrs if I am feeling generous).

    This is probably not the most productive comment (I know) but if I were in your shoes I would be worried too.

    For the record I have escorted in the past but for me to even consider doing it for a guy I meet on a cam site he would have to prove he is serious by dropping a lot more then $150. $1,000 or more and that would get my attention.

    Furthermore I would request he do multiple cam shows before I would even give out my disposable number and fake escort name. I would do it....but for the right amount and the proof that he has the money I want for coming out of "retirement" as an escort.

    And yes I know even guys with money can be psycho. But for a $0 you sure got a lot of head ache and refunded this douche?



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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    This is a prime example of why you really need to keep business and personal separate.

    Really.

    Oh my god. I can't even begin to process this....Is this a joke?

    I almost don't have any sympathy for you. Why are you here to warn US? I don't think anyone here would be stupid enough to go off and set up to have sex with a camming customer. I mean, have you read this thread? lol.

    Because you cammed for this guy he's had the time to stew and obsess over the idea of you and having you. This is an ENTIRE different playing field than meeting someone off of craigslist for a one-time anonymous fuck.

    What was going through your mind in thinking that you were going to have this guy as a fuck-buddy and then la-dee-daw on back home and think he would be cool never seeing you again????

    I don't care how anyone argues this but these men who see us ONLY see us as some good pussy. They are possessive. They don't see us as casual fuck buddys, friends, or wife material. No-fucking-way-ever.

    Worst of all, you directly fed his fantasy of having you by going through the motions of actually meeting. THEN canceling.

    So obviously obsessive guy is obsessive and is using manipulation tactics and threats to keep you in line because he wants what he wants.

    #1, Now if you have promoted yourself or have cammed on different sites he knows all about you via internet.

    #2, because you issued a refund - (REALLY? Why???) he now knows your REAL name. The REAL you. Mr. Obsessive already spent $150 on you, (that you gave back by the way) so he could now just as easily do a background check on you and get where you live, your phone number, etc for $40.

    Go down to the police and fess up about the whole ordeal and see what they can do.
    Last edited by HaydenBlue; 11-17-2011 at 08:25 AM. Reason: because I'm a big meanie.







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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    This is what happens when newbs rush the industry for a quick buck. This is a business. What the fuck are you doing, meeting customers off cam sites for trysts and then getting bullied into giving back the money you earned?! Way to dig a ditch, for yourself. Hire a lawyer and for your own sake, never touch a computer, again.
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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by curiousallthetime View Post
    Is there a forum/thread where I can warn you all of a customer who completely turned on me and decided t blackmail me? After doing some private shows for him and speaking to him for a month, my boyfriend and I were going to meet him for a threesome (we are swingers so this is not unusual, and we were not going to receive any monetary gain from the encounter). He said something which offended us and so the trip was canceled. This ticked the guy off and started a rampage of emails (about one every 3 minutes) which alternated between mean and nice. We refunded ALL the money he paid (less than $150) and now he is saying we owe him $500.

    Due to the refund, he found out my name and was able to discover where I worked. This is alarming because I could lose my job doing the camming. Yes, I knew this and took the risk- because I am careful and do not think my sex life and exhibitionism should have any bearing on my professional life. America is prude.

    Regardless, I want to warn others about him. He admitted to recording me, and I truly do not feel this guy is stable.

    Sorry that you gotta deal with a douchebag like that.

    What about HIM though? Does he have anything to lose, such as a wife/girlfriend, etc. that he can't afford to lose? Just curious.

    And I agree that people have a stick up their ass when it comes to anything sex-industry related. It's like 'Wow, people...without sex, YOU wouldn't be here. Stop trippin'!

    But seriously, I hope this cocksucker gets what he deserves, and that he doesn't ruin your life. Though I think it sucks that your job would terminate you over that.
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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by OJenni! View Post
    What were you thinking? Sorry but $150 does not sound like enough money for me to even consider giving these guys anything other then a cam show (maybe an hr or 1.5 hrs if I am feeling generous).

    This is probably not the most productive comment (I know) but if I were in your shoes I would be worried too.

    For the record I have escorted in the past but for me to even consider doing it for a guy I meet on a cam site he would have to prove he is serious by dropping a lot more then $150. $1,000 or more and that would get my attention.

    Furthermore I would request he do multiple cam shows before I would even give out my disposable number and fake escort name. I would do it....but for the right amount and the proof that he has the money I want for coming out of "retirement" as an escort.

    And yes I know even guys with money can be psycho. But for a $0 you sure got a lot of head ache and refunded this douche?
    You missed the point entirely re: the money. This was NOT an escort deal. The $150 was for prior cam sessions. Sessions= plural.

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    ^^

    You've missed the point. That makes you even more stupid. You're meeting some low-budget cam custy for random sex for free. And still getting screwed. Again, get out of this industry, for your own good.

    OJenni! is posting as a woman with experience camming and doing outcall. She obviously knows how to gauge the monetary value of a cam show vs. a live session. If this guy only paid you $150, cumulatively for a handful of shows, why would you even consider meeting him, in person? Some of us get paid hundreds (or even thousands) of dollars for long periods of time before we even consider meeting a customer face-to-face. The idea of a free casual sex encounter for what you earned (and gave back, of your own free will, no less) is dumbfounding.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    I'm probably going to get slammed here but I really have an issue with this:


    I don't care how anyone argues this but these men who see us ONLY see us as some good pussy. They are possessive. They don't see us as casual fuck buddys, friends, or wife material. No-fucking-way-ever.

    You have a very negative view of men which shows how you view sex in general. Sex is supposed to be fun. I met my fiance (we have been together 3 years) on a webcam site. Not all men are bad. I am sorry you feel that way (or seem to). The men who come in my room and stay are typically different because I sit and have intellectual conversations with them. I rarely even show. This was not a post about protecting myself, but warning others against a potential blackmailer. I am college educated and working on my master's degree- I am in no way stupid.

    Thank you for your comments.

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by vivianbear View Post
    This is what happens when newbs rush the industry for a quick buck. This is a business. What the fuck are you doing, meeting customers off cam sites for trysts and then getting bullied into giving back the money you earned?! Way to dig a ditch, for yourself. Hire a lawyer and for your own sake, never touch a computer, again.

    I am not a newbie- I have been camming for 4 years. My boyfriend refunded the money in order to be done with the guy.

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    Thumbs up Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by TheBrownFox View Post
    Sorry that you gotta deal with a douchebag like that.

    What about HIM though? Does he have anything to lose, such as a wife/girlfriend, etc. that he can't afford to lose? Just curious.

    And I agree that people have a stick up their ass when it comes to anything sex-industry related. It's like 'Wow, people...without sex, YOU wouldn't be here. Stop trippin'!

    But seriously, I hope this cocksucker gets what he deserves, and that he doesn't ruin your life. Though I think it sucks that your job would terminate you over that.

    Thank you- he does have things to lose, but I do not want to stoop to that level. It involves children. I hate that my job does that. I even have to tell them where I volunteer. That is government work for you.

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by curiousallthetime View Post
    Is there a forum/thread where I can warn you all of a customer who completely turned on me and decided t blackmail me? After doing some private shows for him and speaking to him for a month, my boyfriend and I were going to meet him for a threesome (we are swingers so this is not unusual, and we were not going to receive any monetary gain from the encounter). He said something which offended us and so the trip was canceled. This ticked the guy off and started a rampage of emails (about one every 3 minutes) which alternated between mean and nice. We refunded ALL the money he paid (less than $150) and now he is saying we owe him $500.

    Due to the refund, he found out my name and was able to discover where I worked. This is alarming because I could lose my job doing the camming. Yes, I knew this and took the risk- because I am careful and do not think my sex life and exhibitionism should have any bearing on my professional life. America is prude.

    Regardless, I want to warn others about him. He admitted to recording me, and I truly do not feel this guy is stable.

    I think that for all the grief this has caused you, you should've kept that bastard's money and reported him to the police. But then again, that would mean reporting yourself for the arrangement to have a threesome for $$$.

    People on Craigslist and Backpage who do that sort of thing have to be very careful that they're not conversating with law enforcement. I really believe that two (or three!) consenting adults should be able to have sex (even if it's for $$$) without worrying about being picked up by the cops, but that's a whole 'nother thread.....

    Quite a big mess you've gotten yourself in. Please let this be a learning experience for you. These guys who pay for your private shows don't need your name, number, etc. They should have as little of this information as possible. All they need to know is that you're a woman, what your prices are, and your Skype name (in some cases).

    There are sites on the internet for people trying to meet and fuck in person (AdultFriendFinder, Backpage, etc.).
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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by curiousallthetime View Post
    I am not a newbie- I have been camming for 4 years. My boyfriend refunded the money in order to be done with the guy.
    My god, what have you even been doing for the past four years? Your BF is an idiot, as well.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by curiousallthetime View Post
    You have a very negative view of men which shows how you view sex in general. Sex is supposed to be fun. I met my fiance (we have been together 3 years) on a webcam site. Not all men are bad. I am sorry you feel that way (or seem to). The men who come in my room and stay are typically different because I sit and have intellectual conversations with them. I rarely even show. This was not a post about protecting myself, but warning others against a potential blackmailer. I am college educated and working on my master's degree- I am in no way stupid.

    Thank you for your comments.

    LOL! No, honey. The same guy who comes into your room and wants to chat and "get to know you" is in ALL OF OUR ROOMS. He wants to know you so he can fuck you. For FREE.

    Nobody "is different" or wants to "be your friend and talk about in-depth conversations and to get to know you" for $3/minute. HELLO.

    If that was the case we all wouldn't have any friends. He wants more than that or he could have gone down to the bar. He wants more than that because he found you on a camming site rather than a dating site. He wants more than that because he is paying for it. He wants more than that because he has blackmailed you.

    I seriously hope this teaches you to not trust any of your customers again. I don't care if you met your husband on a webcam site or on a CareBear chatroom - you brought this onto yourself by not thinking this through. Just because you got extremely lucky with your husband doesn't mean you should go out and play with fire!

    Sex is fun. Men are fun. Dicks are fun. But not when you are putting yourself in harms way and thinking that these guys are living in la-la land with you.

    Like I said, camming is an entire different playing field than internet dating or craigslist. The mindset of these men is entirely different. Possessive brain. "I want" Instantly goes to, "Me. Mine."

    You fed his fantasy with a silver spoon.

    Let me correct myself then, YOU are not stupid. But WHAT YOU DID, certainly was.
    Last edited by HaydenBlue; 11-17-2011 at 08:19 AM.







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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by curiousallthetime View Post
    Thank you- he does have things to lose, but I do not want to stoop to that level. It involves children. I hate that my job does that. I even have to tell them where I volunteer. That is government work for you.


    I didn't say that you actually have to go to his family. But maybe putting that fear in his head ("Okay, Joe who lives at 12345 Woody Lane San Francisco, with a wife named Amy...looks like it's time for me to have a lil' chat with your wife.") will get him to back off.

    I've never been in the situation that you're in (I never meet guys from cam sites in person). But some years ago, I had a guy piss me off to the point where I blackmailed him (I was bluffing..I really DIDN'T know where he lived), and I got $200 cash out of it. I had that asshole so fucking scared of me showing up at his house, that he opened up his wallet real quick to hand me $200 cash. LMAO.
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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    I don't wanna sound like a moderator (I'm not, and I don't want that job...lol), but I just wanted to remind you ladies that you should refrain from name-calling. Another well-respected, long-time member of SW has just been banned.

    Calling the OP an 'idiot' and 'stupid' probably isn't gonna end well for you. Maybe rephrase and say that her actions were stupid?

    HaydenBlue's latest post pretty much sums it up.
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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    WOW... insane is all i have to say

    TIP! KEEP your camming away from your personal life...... Be smarter so many girls come up missing and extra from online men. How do you know he isnt one of those men. You are playing with fire and ur action is down right stupid. How do you know he wouldnt have brought a gun and shot both of u n ur husband. Sorry to be upfront but personally you were setting urself up for failure or to be beat heavily. Which isnt smart on ur part. Hopefully u learned from this lesson and will think twice before ever and i mean EVER trying to meetsomeone out of ur line of work from camming!Obviously if hes able to blackmail you, u didnt know this guy good enough to meet up with to do a 3some!

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    um...whats palm sized tan bright colored hair w jewel on belly??
    still here.... just in another chapter..

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    I too met my husband on a webcam site. It wasnt any type of "cam model" site... we have been together almost 3 years now. But even i know when to seperate my custies from real life men. This line of work is hard to determain which guys are good and which arent. Kinda like a strip club. You have ur sweet guys taht are just lonely or u have ur bad boys. You are whom u seek. You let this guy believe he could fuck u and instead u got what was comming. YOU put ur self in this position YOU set yourself up for failure YOU didnt think clearly YOU cant go attacking others because there trying to knock since into you. You need to realize what u had done to urself and possibly your family now. YOU put urself in this postion so YOU need to get urself out of it! So with that said YOU dont need to be bashing the ladies on there "view of sex' when obviously they didnt do this you are nto attacking others due to the stupidy of your mistake. (this isnt for you but for all cam girls) "TO BE IN THIS INDUST. YOU HAVE TO BE A WOMEN AND REALIZE WHAT YOU ALREADY PUT AT StEAK EVERY DAY DO NO FEED INTo thEre LIES AND INDANGER YOURSELF MORE THEN WHAT U ARE BY CAMMING." IF YOUR ARE GONNA BE A WEbCAM MODEL YOU HAVE TO THINK 24/7 ABOUT ANYThing THAT IS SUSPISIOU BEFORe PROCEDDING!

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Uhhhhh curious...if you and your husband are swingers...how come you are not on swingers sites looking for people in your area? This whole story is just eh. Good luck with that hole you dug yourself in. Sounds like you are REALLY going to need it.


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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by curiousallthetime View Post
    You missed the point entirely re: the money. This was NOT an escort deal. The $150 was for prior cam sessions. Sessions= plural.
    So let me get this straight....you performed said cam sessions (a few of them) for in and around the ball park of $150 total. You then agreed to meet him in person with your partner and he said something that bothered the two of you. You (rightfully) decided to cancel. He then proceeds to bully and harass you...and you then decide to refund him for the cam sessions you already did? Are you nuts???

    I have never in my life ever given a refund for a cam session that I already performed. If the customer does not like it tough titty! I put up a extensive profile, plenty of photos and new content weekly....they know what they are getting before they come into my private room.

    There have been a few times where I have given out free time, a free clip or a free photo of me...and those were for my legitimate mistakes. For example yesterday a customer phoned my listing on niteflirt at exactly 6:55 PM and I needed to leave the house by 7pm. I told him right up front "my bad... I have to leave soon but please call me later. I will send you 2 free minutes for my mistake". It was my mistake because I should have logged out of there at 6:40. Or times where I have had technical problems, etc. But NEVER does a customer bully me into giving them something for nothing.


    And how exactly are you warning us? I do not see you giving us a customer name or even a site that this customer is on.

    The only "warning" here is to avoid doing what you did!



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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    WOW! I think a lot of you girls are being awfully hard on her. She made a mistake and wanted to vent/ ask for advice. Maybe she didn't make the best choices, but I know I don't always either.

    Sounds to me like her and boyfriend were acting out a fantasy and things turned sour. It happens. The only advice I can give is not to play with this guy. Just ignore him. In a situation like this the only way to win is not to play.

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    I have been in the escort industry 25 years - you can NEVER let your guard down with customers - the nice man who has called for 10 years all the sudden bounces check - disputes c/c's - tries to short your money - wants more and more for the same money etc... NEVER put yourself in a vulnerable position - if your job is at risk just for camming then it is only a matter of time before someone you know finds you anyway - why would you risk that - and as evil said every major city has PRIVATE MEMBER swinger clubs -membership in any of the sanctioned ones allows you to visit in other cities - breeches of discretion are grounds for revocation of your membership - a girl i worked with many years ago stole a regular customer from the agency we worked at - she lived near me and i found her at 8 in the morning laying in her front yard bleeding profusly from her eyes/nose/mouth - she had the guy come to her house and he beat her with a power tool - she lost her sight and all of her teeth - recently a 22 year old left the agency after 5 months thought she knew it all and went on her own on backpage - guy came to her house had sex with her blacked both of her eyes then stole all of her money - This business is NOT A GAME - it is DANGEROUS - YOU CANT EVER FORGET THAT

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by HaydenBlue View Post
    He wants more than that or he could have gone down to the bar. He wants more than that because he found you on a camming site rather than a dating site. He wants more than that because he is paying for it. He wants more than that because he has blackmailed you.
    TRUE!!! This is exquivalent to giving extras in a strip club.

    WE SELL FANTASY!!! NOT reality! Fantasy is EXPENSIVE. Reality is cheap. Men have an inborn drive to compete for women they deem most attractive and *maybe* unattainable. Its in their genes! So obviously, the only reason why you get regulars on a cam site or a strip club is because this man *thinks* he's one step closer to having you, but in reality he's not. It feeds his drive to compete while he's probably married to an overweight woman he no longer finds attractive.

    So you give the the *reality* and he moved on and doesn't care about you anymore. Mission accomplished for him. And you lose a regular AND you had to fuck him. What's the point? Its a double slap in the face.

    If you're an escort, that's something different. But you'd also have to present that a different way, which would, in turn, attract a different type of customer whose there to use you (yes you use him too $$$$) and not stalk you.

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by nadia29 View Post
    WOW! I think a lot of you girls are being awfully hard on her. She made a mistake and wanted to vent/ ask for advice. Maybe she didn't make the best choices, but I know I don't always either.

    Sounds to me like her and boyfriend were acting out a fantasy and things turned sour. It happens. The only advice I can give is not to play with this guy. Just ignore him. In a situation like this the only way to win is not to play.
    You NEED to be hard on them so they learn a lesson. I know it sounds cruel, but its true. Money is tempting and can lure you to do things you otherwise wouldn't do. You need to attach that negative emotional stigma to what you did wrong so you don't do it again.

    Yeah yeah yeah you're probably all thinking OH SHED NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! But think about something bad you did... then enough time passes and you start thinking "well it wasnt THAT bad" or "well I was probably just unlucky" or "what are the ODDS that will happen again?? really low!" and then you do the same thing AGAIN. Just don't. But even that's easier said than done.

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    Default Re: Warning against Blackmailing Customer

    I feel dumber after reading the first post.

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