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Thread: SEX

  1. #1
    Member vegas*love's Avatar
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    Default SEX

    ok so im really hard working and i do work almoust every night
    I have a man but after shift i even dont wanna see him
    the only think i wanna do is go home take shower and go to bed alone .
    the problem is that i dont have no sexual energy (i dont wanna have sex)
    its like im discussed from men . My boyfriend see that,and our relationship falling apart every day.
    somethimes i think that ijust stop love and like him for that
    but when i think about looking for somebody else i really dont have the energy to start the dating process fromthe beginning with somebody else

    Is that ever happend to u ?pls subscribe and advise




    by the way if i had some grammar or sentence mistake sorry (English is not my first language)

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    Do you think it's related to work putting you off men or you're just not attracted to you bf anymore?

    If it's work related maybe take a couple of days off just to spend time with him and try to pinpoint what exactly it is about your work that affects your sex drive. I'm lucky that it's never affected me in this way but I know it's a common problem, I know we see a lot of the worst in guys in our line of work but just try and remember your bf isn't one of them. If you're coming home every night feeling like shit because of being grabbed/propositioned/being fully nude/whatever then maybe look for a lower mileage club or be a whole lot more strict with guys.

    I don't know how long you've been dancing for but when I was new I would let guys walk all over me, they'd be rude, waste my time, try and push my limits and I just didn't know how to react and go home feeling used and depressed. Now I'm very strict on my boundaries and if they don't like it they can fuck off. I make more money and feel better about myself this way.

    If it's that you're just not attracted to him anymore perhaps you've just grown apart.

    Either way you should calmly talk to him about how you feel, if he's not supportive and willing to fix what ever it is that's wrong or if his first reaction is "well then quit your job" then it might be time to move on.

    If you don't feel like going back to the beginning with dating then don't. There's nothing wrong with being single and being comfortable with who you are before wanting to pursue a relationship.

    Either way, good luck!

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  4. #3
    Featured Member aussiebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    I understand. The last thing I want to do after I've had men ogling over me all night is to have sex with my boyfriend. I just want to go home, have a hot shower and jump into bed.

    It helps though that I don't live with my partner so I just go home to my own bed and sleep, then see him the next day or whatever.

    Could you try just telling him you're really tired after work but try and make a special effort in the morning or some other time to make time for him?
    Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

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  6. #4
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    Default Re: SEX

    Did you just start dancing?

    Because I totally had this problem for the first month I was dancing. It was like my brain was working on compartmentalizing nudity vs sexuality. I previously had a very high sex drive, but for the first few weeks stripping, I just felt totally blah to the idea of sex with my awesome, very hot boyfriend. I felt pressure to perform with him, the way I did in the club during a dance, and that made me space out and go to a very unsexy mental space.

    But then after a while I made the mental shift necessary to dance and my libido came back full force.

    Just make sure you understand the difference between mimicking sensuality and actual feelings of sensuality, and you'll be fine.

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  8. #5
    Member vegas*love's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    thanks alot u was right i guess i wasnt happy in this relationship
    now i feel lot better single

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  10. #6
    Member vegas*love's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    no i am not exactly new ...iam stripping or an year .
    i guess i just had to quit this relationship and been alone ,get to know my self better
    in our line of work its very difficurt to be happy with somebody ,cuz man dont like dating strippers
    and i guess that was the problem he was acting different and i think that bush me away .
    thanks tho u guys was really helpful

  11. #7
    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    After I had been stripping for a year I lost all interest in sex. Basically I had guys trying to rape me every night, who wants to be touched after nine hours a night, five days a week of that? At first when I began dancing I think I was hyper-stimulated but then the burn-out. Also I don't think I will ever look at men the same way. Certainly I have even less reason to trust men, most of the would-be rapists at my club were married.

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  13. #8
    God/dess Jay12's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    Try to take a small break from dancing, and see how things will go with your man.





  14. #9
    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    I was saying something similar to a couple of the girls i work with (who are good friends) last night. My SO is working mainly days now so he is pretty much always in bed when i get in from work. I literally creep in through the door and go straight upstairs to my little room, take off my make up, have a drink, count my money and just relax for a while before getting into bed (with him) My sex drive has dramatically reduced and i have to make an effort to be nice to him cause aaall i want after a hard weekend at work is some time to myself with peace and quiet. I like him being at work during the day cause it means i get some time to myself. But me coming to bed later than him (like tonight, he's been in bed three hours, im still up,) its my favourite time.

    I can completely relate, the last thing you want after a night at work is someone (even if its someone you love dearly) pawing at you, it irritates me so much. And i do feel bad about it, but you have to make time for you, and then set nights when you make time for him, even if its just one night a week, have a "date night" where you dont go to work and you sit and watch a movie together or something? If after doing things like this you still arnt feeling it for him, then maybe its then time to call it a day and have a break, sometimes even a small break can make you realise how much you love each other, other times its a relief and you know you're better off alone for a while.
    ''I love fake boobs''
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  16. #10
    Featured Member *Jade*Love's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    If I were you I would try to work less days if you can afford to. I have the same issue, the last thing I wanna do when I get home from a long night at work is bang someone. (If I leave early...well, that's a different story. Haha)

    I've never really had anyone waiting for me at home while I've been a dancer, my ex travels for work so I'd just call him when I got home and go to bed. I'm used to sleeping alone and not having to interact with anyone when I get off work. There have been a few times when he was around on nights I worked but we were like an old couple and barely had sex anyway so I'd just do my thing and hop in bed. I don't know how you girls with boyfriends manage to work around each other's sleep schedules!

    Do you live together? It sounds you like just need some space and a break from him.

  17. #11
    Member vegas*love's Avatar
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    Default Re: SEX

    Yea we live together
    I told him that I want when I go home from work I want to be alone and he was good with this
    If we have sex is in the morning or afternoon and no every day
    It did help a lot

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