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Thread: Quitting Instant Messenger?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member mistresscyn's Avatar
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    Default Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Most online Dommes that run their own site use IM to set-up sessions. I've noticed that a few Dommes though don't do this--some don't even have formal sites. This is attributed with the same reason why some cam girls only do big cam sites and never go indy.

    I've had success working with the IM format, but I've been looking at moving into big cam sites and giving up IM. I've found that my regs get to "buddy-buddy" (partially my fault), stop tributing when on my time, and then start small talking with me constantly when I'm on IM like I'm their GF. The guys often don't even realize that maybe I'm in a session with another reg, or working content that they might enjoy.

    I also figure that a big cam site can supply me with traffic I could never get without a promo team. I would lalso be able to spend more time making $$$ (potentially) and working on passive income projects that I've been trying to get off the ground.

    I guess I'm looking for insight from either cam girls that have gone indy to big box (like Melonie) or those who Domme online.

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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Quote Originally Posted by mistresscyn View Post
    Most online Dommes that run their own site use IM to set-up sessions. I've noticed that a few Dommes though don't do this--some don't even have formal sites. This is attributed with the same reason why some cam girls only do big cam sites and never go indy.

    I've had success working with the IM format, but I've been looking at moving into big cam sites and giving up IM. I've found that my regs get to "buddy-buddy" (partially my fault), stop tributing when on my time, and then start small talking with me constantly when I'm on IM like I'm their GF. The guys often don't even realize that maybe I'm in a session with another reg, or working content that they might enjoy.

    I also figure that a big cam site can supply me with traffic I could never get without a promo team. I would lalso be able to spend more time making $$$ (potentially) and working on passive income projects that I've been trying to get off the ground.

    I guess I'm looking for insight from either cam girls that have gone indy to big box (like Melonie) or those who Domme online.
    Waste of time. The spenders will seek out YOU, and will usually tip you before or right after they send you an email. At least that's been my experience.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Sinistress's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    I've been an independant cam girl for many years and most of my regs are built up on my messengers, so I could never give up my Im's.

    And recently I started to branch out onto other websites.
    Not because I don't have enough customers but simply because I think no matter who you are,you are not really in a show every second.
    So being on these sites is a good time killer,and sometimes I pick up a few times,or shows off the sites.

    So for me...it comes down to just wanting it all. So I do both.

    I never did get why so many people try to choose between independant or not on here.
    I mean I think some of us who have been doing it forever have a good clientel already built up,so going into some of these chat room type places for me initially was like...shock. OMG girls actually put up with this?
    But I'm tolerant of it because that's not my income.If I make anything there it's just an added bonus.

    And I think for the girls who haven't been around as long and are now wanting to branch out independantly I'm sure it's alot harder because of these big major sites where guys can just go hang out and find hundreds of girls.

    Either way I'm sticking to I don't get what the issue is with why there's so many posts on this forum about girls wanting to do one or the other.
    Why not both.

    Sometimes I've seen the conversations with other cam girls. Making 30 bucks in 2 hours or so...is that bad? Hell no. 15 bucks and hour is still a good job. But when I ask em where are you logged in at...typically they'll give me the name of one site...such as streamate.

    So in 2 hours they've made 30 bucks.
    in 15 minutes I made 80

    because I'm usually logged into about 7 places at once. Just sayin

    Check this out if your in need of some video or phone scripts
    These are good for clips4sale videos possibly even phone sex if your more of a storyteller.

    Sinocalypse.com

    A Bath Bomb A Day Keeps The Crazy Away
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    @sinistress


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  5. #4
    Veteran Member mistresscyn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinistress View Post
    I've been an independant cam girl for many years and most of my regs are built up on my messengers, so I could never give up my Im's.

    And recently I started to branch out onto other websites.
    Not because I don't have enough customers but simply because I think no matter who you are,you are not really in a show every second.
    So being on these sites is a good time killer,and sometimes I pick up a few times,or shows off the sites.

    So for me...it comes down to just wanting it all. So I do both.

    I never did get why so many people try to choose between independant or not on here.
    I mean I think some of us who have been doing it forever have a good clientel already built up,so going into some of these chat room type places for me initially was like...shock. OMG girls actually put up with this?
    But I'm tolerant of it because that's not my income.If I make anything there it's just an added bonus.

    And I think for the girls who haven't been around as long and are now wanting to branch out independantly I'm sure it's alot harder because of these big major sites where guys can just go hang out and find hundreds of girls.

    Either way I'm sticking to I don't get what the issue is with why there's so many posts on this forum about girls wanting to do one or the other.
    Why not both.

    Sometimes I've seen the conversations with other cam girls. Making 30 bucks in 2 hours or so...is that bad? Hell no. 15 bucks and hour is still a good job. But when I ask em where are you logged in at...typically they'll give me the name of one site...such as streamate.

    So in 2 hours they've made 30 bucks.
    in 15 minutes I made 80

    because I'm usually logged into about 7 places at once. Just sayin
    I'm not looking to throw all my eggs into one basket per se. I actually intend working multiple sites at the same time (which is something I do now, but will be doing more so later). I just want to drop using IM unless someone has booked that. I literally have a guy who will message me almost every single day whether I'm on or not. He's also spent the most money on me out of all the guys I've dommed with, but he also saps up so much of my time because of the GF factor.

    One domme has 2 c4s stores, cams on one site, does niteflirt and has a blog, that's it. Her c4s' do very well, and she works hard to get them that way, which is why she doesn't have to work 5 billion sites. (She almost never uses IM, and she doesn't share her IM info anywhere.)

    That's ultimately what I want to get to, working a few sites that work for me, and being able to LOG OFF, and not be bothered when I'm not working--which is really my main issue.

    I will still take direct bookings (mostly for TV because that's my specialization), but I figure that things will be easier on me if guys have to EMAIL me to set-up a show/session/etc, instead of them just seeing my IM on, and start messaging me because they're bored.

    I was actually looking at doing what you have on your site, Sin. You have the chaturbate window up for people that want to talk, and that's how they can get in touch with you. Obviously, if it isn't up, then they need to message you via c4s, email, etc.

    I'm not trying to become a hermit, I just want to establish a system, so that I can accomplish more in the little time I do have.

    PS--I don't suffer timewasters, but when my regs are wasting my time, that's where the conflict comes in. Also, the problem that comes with "stealthing" them is that I won't remember to "unstealth" them at the end of the day.

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  7. #5
    Veteran Member Sinistress's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Oh I feel you.
    I know exactly what your saying really. But I guess my point is my messengers really work also in the way your wanting everything else to.
    Often I can just pop on my yahoo and skype and NOT log in anywhere and I'll have several requests for shows.

    But that's probably because I don't schedule shows. I never have.You catch me when I'm online and I'll do it. Otherwise all my messengers stay invisible.And If I'm invisible I just won't answer.

    It's really what alerts them all to the fact I am online..hence they then know to go watch chaturbate. It's really all in what you push them to do tho. I've spent years building my messengers with names. But I guess some girls now use twitter for that...altho I question how many guys really want to get it to keep up with you.

    I say this because on my messengers I have a shiton of people. But less than 100 on my twitter.And most of those...are probably girls
    I think it's really all in how you train them.They'll really go wherever you want I suppose

    As for the gf experience problem...I have a slave I've had for alittle over a year now.He usually will buy one video a one phone call a week from me. He would do more if I didn't ignore him so much.Anyway he calls himself a slave yet acts nothing like one. He will spam my yahoo messenger when I'm invisible with shit like hi you there hello sin hi you there hello hi i need you hi you there....you get the point. And this could go on and on for hours. It's really no biggie because I'll just close down his window and proceed to let him talk to hiself. But it makes you question their intelligence doesn't it. If I didn't answer you the first time...why are you still talking 2 hours later. I think he believes I like it when he begs. I don't. I've even told him to stop. With him tho it's more of a matter of entitlement.

    He's the type to constantly try to get discounts. If he's already paid for a phone call he will try to stretch it out or figure out ways to make me stay with him as long as possible. I've put up with it for a year.
    If I'm already working like in a chat room or somewhere he will expect me to just stop and come to a show for him.

    Last night I was online working and he wanted a webcam session. He proceeded to ask me "what is the price for me?" So I told him the same price I always do...which also happens to be the same price for everyone else.
    And he responded with "but I'm a loyal video buyer"
    So how about I'll give you 30 dollars for 25 minutes.

    After years of this I am fed up. So Instead of even bothering to explain he's an idiot for the hundreth time I simply blocked him off my messengers.

    Only to wake up this morning and realize he sent me the money anyway. Now I get to figure out what to do about that. But I think I'll just make him another video. He can no longer contact me except thru email anyway. And I have no interest in seeing him in person on cam or on the phone,so I can control him by sticking to only making videos.


    I can say of the many people on my messengers he's the only one who bothers me. I don't really get to many hey let's chat. Or people bugging me for things. They've pretty much learned to state "hey I'd like a show" or I don't respond.So now they only message me when they want a show.

    But yes I do think having something on your site linking to a chat room is a good idea. It does allow them to come in and see you. I suppose they could also see what you have on for that day...cuz I really hate answering that question 500 times. But the biggest reason I did it is because they can often keep your chat room from being so dull and boring. While they just sit and chat.

    also I know I said I have about 7 things running do grab shows off of whenever I'm online but I'd like to point out that is not all websites I work on.
    That just means I have 7 things open I can grab shows on.

    I've just recently started using these free chat room type things were guys can get tokens or gold and tip you. I have no luck on them. Probably because I'm more oldschool and have little patience for such places. I'm way more use to one on one.And I have no interest in entertaining a room full of guys.

    So the way I really do it is I use the chaturbate and mfc more like voyuer cams. They get the pleasure of coming into the room chatting with me BETWEEN my own shows. If I get a show they get the pleasure of watching it.They can tip if they want to or they can get thier own show with me.
    So basically if I make tips I make tips...If I don't so fucking what.Cuz I'm not there to pay my bills anyway.I don't use these sites as a way to "make bank"
    My bank comes from other places. I use them as just a way to pick up alittle extra.So if I have a sucky ass day on em,I don't stress out about it simply cuz I've already got my daily goals met in other ways.

    I guess this turned out really long.
    But to sum it up....I have my yahoo messenger on
    I have my skype on I get alot of shows from just those 2 per night
    I have 2 niteflirt accounts going
    I have 1 talk sugar account going
    I turn on chaturbate
    And I turn on something else...sometimes streamate which I've so far had no luck on
    Sometimes mfc...which I also have no luck on but occasionally do get skype shows from there
    Sometimes Skin video...which I've had alittle luck with
    The fact is all those video platforms seem to suck for me

    I tried turning on my msn messenger the other day because I have hundreds of people on it but it was more of an anoyance. Alot of fuckin foreigners on there....But maybe I just need to not let it annoy me so much and spend some time blocking them and clearing the list out and I'll find the good guys.
    Also then there's sites like camgirlspot I log into...so I guess total it's really more than 7 places logged in.

    But I look for things like camgirlspot where your not really physically logged in and have to keep track of it..or niteflirt and tlak sugar where you simply log in and wait.So they aren't screens I have to sit and watch.

    Check this out if your in need of some video or phone scripts
    These are good for clips4sale videos possibly even phone sex if your more of a storyteller.

    Sinocalypse.com

    A Bath Bomb A Day Keeps The Crazy Away
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

    @sinistress


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    God/dess Arialandre's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    I have my own Domme website and have some indy Domme listings, but honestly most of my fetish work comes from AW and SM. I pretty much completely ignore my Domme specific website now because the more serious spenders find me through the cam sites.

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  11. #7
    Veteran Member Sinistress's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Eh I don't really do anything with my 2 websites either.
    I took the members areas down this year because I was spending hours upon hours uploading videos when I coulda been doing shows instead.

    So I yanked the member areas down and just linked to my clips4sale store members area.

    I already load all my videos there,so I no longer saw a reson to do it twice. It saved me a shit ton of hours per week.

    Check this out if your in need of some video or phone scripts
    These are good for clips4sale videos possibly even phone sex if your more of a storyteller.

    Sinocalypse.com

    A Bath Bomb A Day Keeps The Crazy Away
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

    @sinistress


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  13. #8
    loveshooks
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    I'm honestly really surprised that you dommes deal with the same 'customer managment' issues that I encounter...I figured that as a domme it would be much easier for y'all to set really clear boundaries as to when you're available and when customers should NOT be contacting you.
    I'm not a domme, and I don't use 'big box' sites, so I can't offer a strategy that would be specific to your style/niche, but one thing that may help, if you DO decide to maintain your messenger, is to make it really clear to your customers that camming is only one facet of your life...that you have other ish to do, and that they have no right to attempt to monopolize your time.
    Some guys seem to assume that when they're chilling, we must be doing likewise, but I've found that disabusing them of that notion does both of us a huge favour in the long run. Granted, I've ended up losing customers who seem to assume that since we've done a few shows (or even one!?!) that I should drop whatever I'm doing the moment they decide to stop by and say hi, but alot of guys do appreciate when we're honest with them, or at least learn to accept that. The guys that don't, like an old customer of mine who threw a hissy fit when I wouldn't cancel an hour show to do 10 mins with him, I'm better off without.
    I just finished my first year of indy, and about half-way through I realized that I couldn't give my customers the amount of attention that they desired- there simply weren't enough hours in the day to accomodate all my responsibilities AND unpaid type chat. That strategy change hasn't affected my $$$ in the slightest, in fact, my earnings have increased because I'm way less over-tired and burnt out than I used to be.
    With my own site I've finally found a way to give my great guys (the ones who respect me AND my time) a lil extra TLC, but I'll still never feel guilty for not answering IMs when I don't have the time to do so, which is often. I used to use stealth (and that can be a great stragtegy for dealing with guys who rudely assume the sun rises and sets upon them) but now I find that being straight up is as effective, and lucrative. I used to be afraid to "break the fourth wall" by mentioning the word 'work', but in doing so I was really underestimating my guys...the good ones KNOW that we work, on cam and off, and they do accept that we need a lil time to ourselves as well.
    Good luck with whatever you decide

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  15. #9
    Veteran Member mistresscyn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinistress View Post
    So the way I really do it is I use the chaturbate and mfc more like voyuer cams. They get the pleasure of coming into the room chatting with me BETWEEN my own shows. If I get a show they get the pleasure of watching it.They can tip if they want to or they can get thier own show with me.
    So basically if I make tips I make tips...If I don't so fucking what.Cuz I'm not there to pay my bills anyway.I don't use these sites as a way to "make bank"
    My bank comes from other places. I use them as just a way to pick up alittle extra.So if I have a sucky ass day on em,I don't stress out about it simply cuz I've already got my daily goals met in other ways.

    I guess this turned out really long.
    But to sum it up....I have my yahoo messenger on
    I have my skype on I get alot of shows from just those 2 per night
    I have 2 niteflirt accounts going
    I have 1 talk sugar account going
    I turn on chaturbate
    And I turn on something else...sometimes streamate which I've so far had no luck on
    Sometimes mfc...which I also have no luck on but occasionally do get skype shows from there
    Sometimes Skin video...which I've had alittle luck with
    The fact is all those video platforms seem to suck for me

    I tried turning on my msn messenger the other day because I have hundreds of people on it but it was more of an annoyance. Alot of fuckin foreigners on there....But maybe I just need to not let it annoy me so much and spend some time blocking them and clearing the list out and I'll find the good guys.
    Also then there's sites like camgirlspot I log into...so I guess total it's really more than 7 places logged in.

    But I look for things like camgirlspot where your not really physically logged in and have to keep track of it..or niteflirt and tlak sugar where you simply log in and wait.So they aren't screens I have to sit and watch.
    I cleared out my IM list awhile ago, but I don't have that many people on there, wish I did. I'd probably complain less about the timewasters if they were peppered more strongly with guys that pay.

    I run a bunch of stuff normally at the same time, and I'm looking to run more. I have about 5-6 NF listings, plus I finally got myflirststore together. Then I queue up AW, and I open my IM. I'm trying to my approval for SM finished so that I can do that too. I also wanna put in apps with IL & LJ.

    I'm also about to launch my c4s store and KB in another few days, and I'll be posting about 30 clips a month afterwards.

    Either way, I need to start promoing hard.

  16. #10
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinistress View Post
    So the way I really do it is I use the chaturbate and mfc more like voyuer cams. They get the pleasure of coming into the room chatting with me BETWEEN my own shows. If I get a show they get the pleasure of watching it.They can tip if they want to or they can get thier own show with me.
    So basically if I make tips I make tips...If I don't so fucking what.Cuz I'm not there to pay my bills anyway.I don't use these sites as a way to "make bank"
    My bank comes from other places. I use them as just a way to pick up alittle extra.So if I have a sucky ass day on em,I don't stress out about it simply cuz I've already got my daily goals met in other ways.
    I have tried that also and had zero luck! They just watch, compliment me on my show but no tips at all. I figured it was a waste of my bandwidth so I quit doing it. Glad it's working for you tho. I'd do it if they would tip me but all the guys watching for free got on my nerves.


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  18. #11
    loveshooks
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post
    I have tried that also and had zero luck! They just watch, compliment me on my show but no tips at all. I figured it was a waste of my bandwidth so I quit doing it. Glad it's working for you tho. I'd do it if they would tip me but all the guys watching for free got on my nerves.
    I can't count how many guys have 'helpfully' suggested that I use mfc as a marketing tool...I can't help but notice that it's the same guys who drop by FAR too often just to "say hi and see what I'm up to". Sorry, you want my attention, and MAYBE I'll get tipped for it? Fuck that! I'm not knocking tip-in-public-chat sites, but they're not for me. I'm far to contemptuous of freeloaders to ever be able to interact with them politely, and I don't care if a million lurkers learn about my site...why would they go there if they can get me for free where they found me? Props to you Sinistress for making it work

  19. #12
    Veteran Member Sinistress's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    Well I think you guys really misunderstood what I meant about making the chat sites into voyuer cams.
    First off alot of my shows are domination type calls or fetish.
    So....Alot of em might just be smoking shows,which I freely smoke in my rooms anyway.
    Or sph or sissy shit

    So even if I do choose to do the show live it's not likely very many if any are sitting there wacking it.

    As I said I don't use it as my income so I don't necissarily look at it like I'm giving free shows anyway to all the beggers for that reason. Before I started logging into these sites I'd be watching tv,reading a book or even sleeping in between my shows. I don't make alot like those of you who use these sites as your income. I pretty much ignore the rooms until I get tipped to flash something OR...what I'm doing more than anything is just advertizing the fact that I am doing shows on skype.

    Instead of entertaining the whole room and spending any time paying attention to them. My rooms just say something like 10 minutes skype show with sin for...however many tokens I feel like

    But I always take tokens for it,It's not like I'm luring them away from these sites or anything.

    Point being I make about 3-400 dollars a month now ignoring those rooms. That's 400 more bucks than I had when I was just watching tV. so if a couple are getting free shows I don't really give a damn. And even if they are they are most of the time sitting there like wtf is this chick doing?

    And I just started doing this like 1- 2 months ago so the money I am making could go up since anywhere you go takes a while to get customers built up.
    But yea for the most part I ignore them cuz I don't have the patience for the beggers.Nor do I have patience to entertain rooms. So I just do my normal job and let the chat rooms run,when I hear a tip I pay attention.

    A good example of this is yes I was topless earlier today.
    I had one sneaker over one tit,and another sneaker over another tit...
    Can they wack off to that sure...little odd for most tho.Hell even I thought it was alittle odd.

    Check this out if your in need of some video or phone scripts
    These are good for clips4sale videos possibly even phone sex if your more of a storyteller.

    Sinocalypse.com

    A Bath Bomb A Day Keeps The Crazy Away
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

    @sinistress


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  21. #13
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Quitting Instant Messenger?

    ah, that makes more sense Yeah that would totally be worth running in the background if you get a few bucks then.

    I do xxx, fetish, domme, lots of different things so it would be totally different for me.


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