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Thread: Going to court soon...

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    Default Going to court soon...

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    Last edited by HighHeelHottie; 12-16-2011 at 07:36 AM.

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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    Sticky situation... I wouldn't say lie about what you do, but I also wouldn't bring it up unless she asks. And then you don't have to be like, "Horny guys pay me to finger fuck myself on cam" ya know? lol... You could simply say you're a model, you work online doing free lance "webwork" idk, be creative! haha. And if she does figure out you do adult stuff online, it shouldn't matter, (I'd assume?) I mean it is legal, and just because you do this stuff doesn't make you a bad mom... hell let the judge know why it makes you a great mom, being able to provide for your child while working at home! Good luck

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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    I used to say to some folk that I worked for a sex phone line company, as customer service, from home. In the industry, but totally 'legit' so to speak. :-D

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    Veteran Member taylor_sweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    Dont bring it up unless she asks. If shes a good judge there shoudnt be a probem since its no illegal. But becareful hun now days more soldiers are winning there kids. I you arent entitelled to there GI bill including BAH as well but that depends on the stated. My state is only tech allowed to take 20percent of there pay. If you want u can pm me and tell me where ur husband is at (state) and i can tell you more. Military Wife, Military brother, and many fam members military. My husband has four kids before out marriage an the chilsupport is diff from all kids, one is getting 298,75,173,396. It depends on where u are located mostly.

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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    Tell them it is customer service freelance work. You do please customers!

    Good luck!!

    xxx
    InnesX

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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    I agree with the others. Don't even bring it up unless she asks. But in case she does ask, it is probably best you have an answer for her. Maybe say you do modeling, or something.

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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    I would definitely not bring it up unless asked, but I also wouldn't lie to a judge. Should your ex ever file for custody, and bring up that you lied to a judge (presumably under oath...) that is a SERIOUS mark against you.

    However, like Juliet says, there are more and less appropriate ways of bringing this up. Saying you "do porn" will not go over nearly as well as saying you do "affiliate marketing and related live webchat". If it comes up, stress your separation of your work and your child (esp say that you never do it with him in the house), and the pros that come with the job - flexibility (should he/she ever get sick, you are always there to take them home from school and care for them), free time (you will always have time to spend with them) and making your own schedule (you will never miss a dance recital/school play).

    Bottom line is that this isn't illegal, so as long as you make a good impression on the judge, and don't appear to be a drug-addled stereotype, it shouldn't make any difference.

    Good luck
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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    I would never voluntarialy offer up this info but if it was thrown in my face and used against me Id say that it pays the bills and its better than being out at the club drinking.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    stress your separation of your work and your child (esp say that you never do it with him in the house), and the pros that come with the job - flexibility (should he/she ever get sick, you are always there to take them home from school and care for them), free time (you will always have time to spend with them) and making your own schedule (you will never miss a dance recital/school play).

    Bottom line is that this isn't illegal, so as long as you make a good impression on the judge, and don't appear to be a drug-addled stereotype, it shouldn't make any difference.

    Being no stranger to family courts myself ( trust me you don't want to know !!! ), this probably needs to be said plainly. Family court is NOT a regular court where facts must be 100% proven and, in the absence of proof, the 'accused' must be given the benefit of the doubt. Yes, there are certain aspects which must follow black and white legal formulas, i.e. child support being determined via X% of income, number of children, etc. But where other aspects are concerned, in family court, the judge has tremendous leeway to render gray area judgements based on his impressions and interpretations of what is actually in the best interest of the child.

    Along those lines, while camming is clearly not illegal, it is nonetheless an 'adult' business. And with the exception of studio work, camming also represents operating an 'adult' business from the child's home ... something which many family court judges would consider to be a very negative influence on the child ! Attempted disclaimers that camming activities will only take place while the child is not present, disclaimers that the child will be totally prevented from seeing or hearing anything that is happening on webcam etc. are not factually provable ... and immediately place the camgirl in a tactical position of having to defend herself against assertions she is potentially providing a very negative home environment for her child.

    Thus while the case can clearly be made that decent pay, flexible hours, mom being at home in case of emergencies etc. are 'positives' for the child's environment, a similar case can be made that camming from home in and of itself creates a 'negative' environment for the child. Different attitudes by different judges, and different 'legal climates' in different states, can cause very different judgements as to what's actually 'positive' and 'negative'. Those judgements can of course be made increasingly 'negative' if the ex has a smart attorney who starts asking 'inconvenient' questions in court ( like how much do you charge per minute to perform a dildo show ? ... or, like some other camgirls, do you and a partner perform sex on camera ? ) - all of which attempt to paint a very negative picture of adult webcam work that you will again be placed in a tactical position of having to defend yourself against ( with only your own word as 'proof' ).

    Back to the point about formulas for child support for a second. While the law bases child support payments on a percentage of income, it can also base the ex's child support payments on the relative incomes of BOTH parents. This can be problematic if the ex has a smart attorney who makes claims that, while the father is earning $30k per year, the camgirl mother is earning $60k per year ( a claim which the camgirl mom almost certainly cannot disprove factually ), and thus does not need as large of a child support payment from the father. If pushed, this line of argument can precipitate an IRS / state tax dep't investigation of the camgirl mother's finances ( and taxes ) at the request of the court.

    Again, the actual outcome of any family court action is subject to a ton of variables. But you should at least consider the possibility that, if your ex has a smart attorney and a sympathetic judge who views you as an 'out of state' sex worker who is providing a questionable environment for the child as well as earning a ton of money, you may come away from family court worse off than when you went in !!!

    Physically appearing in family court exposes you to all sorts of questions, both by the judge and by your ex's attorney. And the truthful answers you must provide to those questions may not actually be helpful to your position !!! And the subsequent fact that your truthful answers to those inconvenient questions become part of the 'public record' may also come back to 'haunt' you in the future ... for example making the ex and his future new wife seeking custody of your child based on 'unsuitable home environment' claims a very real possibility, as well as in unexpected ways such as a potential future straight job employer discovering that you have a history in the 'adult entertainment' industry as the result of a database search.

    I guess the bottom line here is that, while it is clearly wrong based on principle alone, in a 'real world' scenario the question should probably be asked regarding what you expect to gain from appearing in family court, versus what you might potentially stand to lose. You know your ex ... is he smart enough / financially able to engage a smart attorney ? You know your ex's home state ... what are that state's prevailing attitudes about 'adult' industry workers ? You know your own situation in regard to tax returns / bank account transaction history ... if the court were to request a financial investigation what are they likely to find in the way of your income level and reported earnings ? You also know approximately how much extra child support money you might be receiving in a 'best case' scenario ( 16% of an extra $12k per year = an extra < $2k per year ).

    As a final comment, an exotic dancer or a webcam girl appearing in family court amounts to 'Pandora's Box'. You never know what's going to come out until the box is opened, but once it IS opened there's no way to put things back inside again !!! With less than $2,000 per year involved on the upside, and with a downside that only you yourself can evaluate, you might want to consider NOT showing up in person ... at least for early family court actions !!! It's entirely possible that your own smart attorney based in your ex's home state, armed with a simple petition to amend the ex's child support payments based on a publicly acknowledged increase in income level, can secure a judgement in your favor without any additional subjects being raised or additional questions being asked !!!

    ~
    Last edited by Melonie; 12-06-2011 at 03:51 AM.

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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    I have been on the receiving end of the type of family court questioning Melonie is referring to and believe me it is NO FUN!! I would really consider what she has written above & think it through carefully. Can you afford an attorney?

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    Default Re: Going to court soon...

    ^^^ you got that right !!! It's NO FUN whatsoever. But it's still only one day out of your life as far as the unpleasant questioning is concerned. In the OP's case, I would actually be more concerned about the more 'lasting' effects of a family court appearance ... i.e. the possibility of receiving LESS child support from her ex as a result of her 'high' camgirl earnings being added to the support equation, the possibility of a strong foundation being laid for a future child custody battle by her ex, etc.

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