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Thread: Now I've gone and depressed myself

  1. #1
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Now I've gone and depressed myself

    This is mainly just a self-pity rant, so feel free to disregard lol

    So I was gonna start dancing and camming again after Thanksgiving. I bought a new wig (an expensive one at that), and finally figured out a way to put it on so it looked ok. I really wanted it for camming, and especially for dancing, since I'll be dancing in an area where people from my old job might come in and I don't want them recognizing me. I was feeling so pumped up and confident for the past week while I was home visiting my family and planning my grand re-entrance into adult work. I had my plans all set to go to the club tomorrow night and audition, but in the meantime, I figured I had already redone my profile on MFC and it wouldn't hurt to make a little extra cash tonight.

    MFC is the only camsite I ever worked on, and I was only there for a few weeks. I would go on, make about $50 in the first hour from tips and a private, and then the money would stop for the next hour so I'd sign off after 2 hours with $50. I redid my MFC sign-up, and hadn't gotten on cam since then, so my camscore was still solidly at the beginning 1000, and I figured even if I had lost my "new model" tag in the months since I redid my account, I had been gone so long that I'd at least have a "she's back" tag up... I didn't expect to bank tonight or anything, but I figured at least my "tried and true" $50 for 2 hours of work was better than nothing, and would get me pumped up to dance tomorrow.... I was on for an hour and never had more than a couple premiums in my room. I was playing music, trying to get a striptease countdown going, babbling on and on, but nobody would even talk. I made absolutely nothing. Not a single tip.

    Not only that, but several people came into my room and immediately asked if I was wearing a wig or made some shitty little comment like "that wig is awesome!" - just to be dicks. I've gotten those comments before, back when I had a really cheap, shitty wig. But I honestly thought my new, expensive one looked way better. There's not quite enough hair in the forehead part to completely cover the lace, but it's just thick enough that if I style it a certain way, I didn't think you could see it unless you were right up on my forehead, staring at it. But now I'm super paranoid that you can obviously tell it's a wig, and now I'm nervous to attempt to audition at a club with it tomorrow. What if it really does look absolutely fake and hideous and they just think I look ridiculous? But I really really really do not want to be easily recognizable in the club, plus I already spent so freakin' much on that wig, I don't want to have to toss it aside.

    Fuckin' MFC.... if I hadn't gone on, I'd still be in my happy dreamworld where I think I look awesome and can make mad cam money... dammit... I have approximately $800 to my name, which I know isn't destitute, but with bills to pay, student loan payments starting this month, plus Christmas coming in like 3 weeks, that money is going to disappear very quickly... so I need to be making money again now, which means I can't drag my feet on going to the club tomorrow... I've put it off long enough - I have to go in tomorrow so I can start asap. But now my shitty little cam experiment has totally deflated the ego that I've spent the last week and a half building up... fml

    What do you guys do to get your self-confidence up after a really crappy night? Especially if the assholes in your room made you really self-conscious about one critical thing about your look...
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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  3. #2
    Veteran Member Peachesxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    People are always going to be asses, and on MFC there's quite a few of them, no matter how good you look, you could be Adriana Lima and there will still be some idiot around trying to insult you or get a reaction whether it be by pointing something out that they don't like, telling you look trashy/like a tranny, whatever.
    It is super annoying but try to brush it off and don't let them know it bothered you, I'm sure it looks good, and I'm sure the majority of the guys on there won't notice, hell, I can't tell a wig from real hair lol

    Everyone has bad/slow nights, don't let it get you down, there will always be better ones to come, just keep at er' and ignore the trolls

    & next time just ban their asses, don't even let it get to the point where they can sit there in YOUR room and talk crap about you to you, eff that. ban ban ban ban. If i have some troll I can usually tell and let it play out and make them feel like dumbasses for even trying to piss me off, but if they are being downright jerks, ban ban ban.

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    Veteran Member SweetPinkCupcake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Did you ever wonder what the trolls on MFC are like behind the screen, and why they are spending their Saturday night being a dumbass? Haha, don't worry, MFC is retarded like that. They are definitely a certain breed of men that troll on that site. If you would have been on Streamate I am sure you would have felt a lot better. Guys in the clubs are WAY better, too. My opinion, anyway.

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  7. #4
    Veteran Member Peachesxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    ^^^^ This.
    Internet = full of trolls, and they love live webcam reactions, girls react to things a lot more dramatically/sensitively and they are totally anonymous doing it - we are prime targets lol

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  9. #5
    Veteran Member Kalypso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    People troll MFC for sport. The body builders and some other forums have turned it into a community tradition so I usually don't care at all when I'm on there but when I don't feel pretty I put on my old faithfuls, give myself a mani/pedi if not already done, take a bubble bath, whatever makes you feel sexy.

    About your wig, cut off all the lace. If you can, try to trace your natural hairline. Wherever you part the hair apply some foundation with a small makeup brush. Wear a flesh colored wig cap. Make sure you're not wearing it too far down. If you have the patience, tweeze some of the hairline to make it look more natural. Sounds like a lot (it is) but it's worth it if you really don't want people to know you're wearing a wig.
    Bitch? Actually I'm an evil cunt. Slut? Try dirty little whore. Either way, you have to pay for it.

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  11. #6
    loveshooks
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    this is totally a temperment thing, so I'm not quite sure if it would work for you, but when I deal with negativity online, including downright hateful and spiteful comments, I employ my natural stubbornness to a really positive effect.
    You wanna make me feel inscure? Fuck you! You wanna try to ruin my night? Good luck asshole, NOT gonna happen Look at it like these guys are standing between you and all the great customers you can easily attract when you're feeling hella hot. Decide that they're not gonna win.
    Kalypso had some great advice about the wig, but recognize also that after a long time away it's natural to feel alot of pressure, pressure that can be self-defeating if taken too far. Focus on honing your game and getting back into the 'feel' of being on cam, and the $$$$ will follow
    good luck, peace and $$$$$$$$

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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    People say the most hateful shit to me on MFC all the time. ^ is right about trolling being a sport. LOL it sounds ridiculous how going into a pay-per-play chat room and insulting the model (while you secretly jack off for free) has become so popular amongst these "men" but ignore them. Just don't acknowledge them and ban them. They obviously have mental/self-esteem issues, that's not normal behavior.
    As for the wig, it sounds like the wig is obviously fake looking if a buncha loser guys kept pointing it out. You should get a different one or try to style it better? Sometimes some wigs just need a cut here or you can even glue/extension some more hair if it's missing some in the front. Maybe scrap the wig and focus more on make-up? Make-up can do crazy things. You can cake on a buncha make up, have it look nice, and look completely different. It's a buncha work but it's better than being known as the wig girl on cam and at the club.

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    Senior Member ImpossiblePrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Here's another wig tip - if your wig has that obvious fake hair shine to it, you can spray on just a little dry shampoo. It'll dull the shine a little and make it look more like real hair.

    |

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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Hon, if I were you I'd get the wig professionally cut/styled, & follow the rest of K's suggestions about it. Wigs are made w/too much hair, they almost always have to be thinned/cut/styled.
    As far as the other a/holes, yep they're out there & they suck, big time.
    Good luck luv, you ROCK!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    I'm sorry, that really sucks! MFC was not great for me ... I was making like $15 an hour on it ... I make $15 an hour at my vanilla job, I want to be making more camming!
    Anyway
    Try some new sites!!
    InnesX

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  21. #11
    Veteran Member Peachesxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Honestly though Aurora, it was your first night back, don't sweat it, get back on, and see how the next few nights go before you go too crazy trying to do a million things different/get on another site. Try to get your wig styled a bit more naturally if it is still worrying you, and if that doesn't work out maybe you could use clip in extensions or something?

    MFC has lots of dummies but there are also some really sweet guys who will just show up and unexpectedly make you feel great about yourself, and spend big to back up all the nice things they have to say about you as well =P

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    Member Skindoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    I've had the most horrible camming moments at MFC because they don't /(!"%)!· pay me!!! But I feel lucky that they haven't insult me yet... Maybe they insult camgirls just when they're doing good, lol I'm safe for now.

    And don't worry about the wig, I think you need a second opinion, maybe you could ask a friend and that's all. The other girls are right, there are a lot of trolls EVERYWHERE on the web and sometimes they say those things to girls they really like, lol. So... Well, who could understand men?

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    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Do you have old messages/e-mail from fans? Positive twitter or fb feedback? Good memories?

    If I have a shitty night, I will sit and close my eyes and focus on the best nights that I have had! I read old e-mails and messages from happily satisfied customers telling me how awesome I am, and close my eyes and visualize my best nights so far - getting every detail clear. Then I'll start visualizing how great the next few nights will be...and then the next year, and so on.

    Sometimes when this crap gets to you, I find that you just have to fight fire with fire. If douchebag morons are getting you down, use other customers to get you back up again!
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


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    Banned Fridays's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    What do you guys do to get your self-confidence up after a really crappy night? Especially if the assholes in your room made you really self-conscious about one critical thing about your look...
    I got small boobs, people tell me they will pay when I get some boobs
    "ya? whats wrong with my boobs " I tell them, " I love my boobs"..
    And they say nothing anymore, because they cant argue with one;s individual opinion on whatever.
    So, to me, when this shit happens, its all about the attitude I give back.
    and it works.
    ----------
    It. Does. Not. Matter. what. people. who. do. NOT. pay .think.
    and............
    It. Does. Not. Matter. what. people. who..... PAY. think.

    all it matter is what YOU think and especially what You say.

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    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Forget them. You know you're hot, you know you can make money.
    You've done it before! You're a pro at this!
    Buck up champ
    "We are the coolest mothafuckas on the planet....The sky is fallin ain't no need to panic"... -Outkast

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  30. #16
    Featured Member TeenageAnnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Hey.. where did you purchase your wig from? I use the Rene Of Paris collection wigs, they are expensive but I get the used ones from eBay. i think only about 3 people out of the 10000 who've seen it have asked if its a wig. anyway men dont care if you wear a wig. somedays I wear a bright pink one and everyone says its awesome and I tell them straight out its a wig and they love it. so dont be down about it. wear your wig with confidence and nobody will care.

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  32. #17
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Now I've gone and depressed myself

    Quote Originally Posted by TeenageAnnie View Post
    Hey.. where did you purchase your wig from? I use the Rene Of Paris collection wigs, they are expensive but I get the used ones from eBay. i think only about 3 people out of the 10000 who've seen it have asked if its a wig. anyway men dont care if you wear a wig. somedays I wear a bright pink one and everyone says its awesome and I tell them straight out its a wig and they love it. so dont be down about it. wear your wig with confidence and nobody will care.
    I believe it was a company called HairMatrix. I think the wig comments come from my eyebrows. No matter how well I style the wig, I can't hide the fact that my eyebrows don't match lol But I figured even people who bleach their hair don't always bleach their eyebrows, right? So I was trying to just look like I bleached my hair an unnatural color and didn't do the eyebrows... But you all are right - trolling is practically a sport in cam rooms. And I'm sure they get off on picking out anybody who's hair clearly isn't its natural color and making a comment about a wig. My first go on MFC, when I'd get these comments, I'd be like "So? Did you really come here to see my hair?" This time, I just ignored them, but it still bothered me...
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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