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Thread: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

  1. #26
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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Allow me to jump in here ... since I have been involved in more than a few 'small' strip clubs in more than a few states.

    If a $10 cover is the 'average' for your city, and if ( initially at least ) you can't offer club customers 'above average' entertainment, then you're stuck charging the same $10 max. Enforcing a 2 drink minimum, even juice bar, can successfully be used to supplement club revenues if necessary.

    To avoid potential National Health Care Law related 1099 issues re dancer tip payments that go into effect in 2012, every person 'working' in the club that is not a dancer needs to be an EMPLOYEE of the club. This means an $8 an hour official paycheck from the club for the bouncer, DJ, doorman etc. ... plus modest sized non-mandatory dancer tip payments ( that are legally considered to be a gratuity not a 'business to business' transfer payment that must be accounted for via 1099's from dancers to DJ ).

    If given an option of charging independent contractor dancers a 'house fee' but no / low percentage of her private dance sales, go with the 'house fee'. And if you want to do a 'tiered' house fee system, charge one fee for showing up on time ( perhaps $30 ) and a different house fee for showing up late / leaving early / not showing up at all if scheduled ( perhaps $60 ). You do not want to totally remove house fees since this incentivizes 'marginal' dancers who may be content to 'sit' all night instead of hustling. You also do not want to extract high percentages from private dance sales, since this DIS-incentivizes 'top shelf' dancers. If you want to temporarily waive the basic house fee while club is building clientele, don't waive the $30 premium for showing up late / leaving early / not showing up if scheduled. If you need more 'revenues' from dancers to keep the club in the black, try to keep the club's percentage to 25% of dancer private dance sales max, although avoiding a 'club's cut' percentage altogether incentivizes 'top shelf' dancers. It may also make sense to use a different 'house fee' and/or 'club's cut of private dances' percentages for slow weeknights versus more lucrative weekend nights ... with the former preferred over the latter since the latter DIS-incentivizes the 'top shelf' dancers you are trying to cultivate / retain ( i.e. normal 'house fee' $20 weeknights, $40 weekends, late / early / no show $40 weeknights, $80 weekends ).

    With the size of your club, and the available software for 'automated DJ' functions, seriously consider giving the automated option a try. Doing so will reduce club expenses, as well as reducing dancer 'expenses' i.e. the 'voluntary' gratuity or the need for the club to extract a ( higher ) percentage of dancer private dance sales to cover DJ cost of labor. In your scenario, a full time bouncer and a full time door man ( = backup bouncer ) are more important than a human DJ

    Consider revising your layout to use video surveillance instead of 'line of sight' to comply with your state law. The reason is that customer willingness to buy private dances is always compromised if every other customer can see what's going on during a private dance. Compartmentalized private dance rooms, each with a low profile video camera, gives the customer the 'illusion' of privacy which can't be achieved in the 'wide open room' scenario. The video surveillance can be monitored at a bank of remote video monitors by the bouncer which avoids having to make an obvious intrusion into the customer's private dance experience. This type of video surveillance is also recordable, which can come in extremely handy if an 'incident' were ever to occur ( although the 'threat' of recording is all that you actually need to implement for operational reasons if your initial budget can't handle recording capability ). If the video surveillance approach won't comply with state law ( which I doubt but only your attorney knows for sure ) there is also the option of two way side wall mirrors, which can be viewed by the bouncer from a secure corridor. Please understand that the wide open line of sight approach is a huge 'buzz kill' for private dance customers, thus a huge income kill for dancers, so if there is any possible way to avoid it you should try extremely hard to do so.

    IMHO with such a small club, such a low dancer head count, and no alcohol, a VIP room business model is likely to be problematic. Instead, concentrate on making each separate private dance area 'nice' enough for the customer and dancer to be comfortable there for extended periods of time. Nothing kills a dancer's ability to keep selling consecutive private dances than an uncomfortable chair putting the customer's ass to sleep or scraping the dancer's knees ! Four to six well appointed, physically separated, comfortably furnished private dance 'rooms' with discretely placed security cameras will instead encourage consecutive private dance sales.

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    Last edited by Melonie; 12-06-2011 at 02:31 PM.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    a little digging at shows that in Arizona an exotic dancer who performs a 'private striptease' for a paying customer is legally considered to be an 'Escort' . Thus there may be a real Arizona legal question as to whether video surveillance can be successfully substituted for 'line of sight'.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    I agree with so many things mentioned. Here's the problem though and that is getting qualified dancers. If you charge too much to the dancers and there are other clubs around they will flee and guess what you will be left with? The uglies. You need to charge an admission fee that is comparable to the club because if you charge little to nothing you will get riff raff. I have been there. Several clubs I worked at paid me when they opened because they needed to attract customers and wanted some girls with somewhat of a name. Personally I preferred the straight out house as long as it was crowded. If it wasn't crowded a percentage works better. Charging dancers for both is utter bullshit and I am seeing it more.

    For the whole DJ/bouncer issue, I see no problem with the DJ being a backup bouncer (I've seen this)but not the only bouncer. That is a bad idea. I have worked at the jukebox type clubs and these tend to be trashy and don't appeal to higher quality customers and dancers.

    As for tipping other employees dancers resent paying people who aren't doing a damn thing. It should be your job to pay most of these people instead of depending on dancers.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by StripClubPsych View Post
    Here's the way it works, BOTM...

    If you like the service staff provides for you, you're damn right you HAVE to tip them. Clubs don't pay them to take care of you, they pay them to take care of the club. The reason they put up with the club's bullshit is because the dancers generally take care of them.

    If you don't, don't expect them to come back, and expect the club to replace them with someone who is willing to work for little money.

    I always laugh at the double standard of "I don't work for free" when it comes to customers tipping stages, yet a doorman or DJ will work all night for the girl keeping her safe and playing her music and girls will walk out without tipping or only tipping a few bucks because of the attitude you're portraying in your post. Everyone aside from managers and the owners work off of tips.
    I don't know, I've worked in clubs where everyone except the dancers were paid and guess what? People were happier working there. It's not the responsibility of the dancer to tip people who don't provide a service for them. It's not their responsibility to pay for the barback or the cleaners or most of the other jobs. The admission fee and yes even the house fee could go towards these other employees. To ask dancers to pay tips on top of house is unfair.

    Btw, it's not fair to compare other workers to dancers because let's not forget dancers put up with more than anyone else, and are getting nude on top of it. Many have been assaulted, others have been verbally attacked, and it's an awful feeling not making money.



    Quote Originally Posted by StripClubPsych View Post
    Please come to Arizona. PLEASE. I will take you to 10 different clubs and show you why NOBODY in AZ charges 20 or 30+ at the door on a regular basis. That club would maybe have a total of 10 people a week actually pay that.

    The AZ club scene is not what it was years ago and from what I'm reading it's not as good as other parts of the country.

    A lot of clubs charge $10 at the door, this is pretty standard. People (who end up spending several hundred dollars sometimes) still complain about that. One club charges $12. One I believe charges $15 and it's known as the rip off club.

    I would love to be in that high demand and make that much money that I can refuse to work at a club over something as trivial as how much they charge at the door.

    I would love to charge $100 at the door and give the girl 25 bucks of that and offer the customer a free drink and dance with paid cover... But that's not realistic.

    Neither is $30. Neither is $20 or even $15. $10 would be great on the weekends, $5 is more reasonable during the week. This is COMPETITIVE with the 55 other strip clubs in the state.

    Trying to go the high glam high roller road in Arizona gets you one thing - broke. You'll alienate your customer base before you even walk in the door.

    If this was Vegas, New York or any other city with a huge population of well-to-do people, sure, fuck 'em. Charge as much as humanly possible. But being realistic and trying to not go bankrupt before the doors even open, what you're suggesting is asinine.
    I have never worked in Arizona but have worked in Illinois and Indiana. The clubs that charged a low fee or worse no fee attracted trash. This is turn attracted trashy dancers. I worked a club where there was no admission fee and no drink minimum and all they got in where the freeloaders. Dancers weren't making money so they quit. The dancers that replaced them were low class and the club was eventually close due to prostitution.

    Never underestimate the value of charging more. I ran an entertainment agency and we charged about what the bigger companies did. As a result we got quite a bit of the high rollers. The few times I lowered rates I got cheapos.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    I have seen clubs across the country, and those that typically start small, unless they can show definitive expansion plans that the clientel can see from their first visit, tend to fall into the always shall be small clubs catagory. You would ask why is this? Simple. The clientel you attract being small are a niche group that when you expand you risk losing, and this isnt just the customers, some girls only want to work in smaller clubs with less competition.

    Before you decide to start small and grow, maybe you should find one more partner that will allow you to start medium and then after the year you can adjust, with what the girls mentioned, quality over quantity

    Good Luck with however you decide to go no matter what, that first 365 days working by yourself will be brutal

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by OmegaWest View Post
    I have seen clubs across the country, and those that typically start small, unless they can show definitive expansion plans that the clientel can see from their first visit, tend to fall into the always shall be small clubs catagory. You would ask why is this? Simple. The clientel you attract being small are a niche group that when you expand you risk losing, and this isnt just the customers, some girls only want to work in smaller clubs with less competition.

    Before you decide to start small and grow, maybe you should find one more partner that will allow you to start medium and then after the year you can adjust, with what the girls mentioned, quality over quantity

    Good Luck with however you decide to go no matter what, that first 365 days working by yourself will be brutal
    This is a very good point.

    hot flirting tips 2k13: tell him, “I’m not like other girls,” then pull down the secret zipper at the back of your neck to reveal your true reptilian form


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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    The fact that as a manager you haven't stepped foot into a club outside your home state speaks volumes to me.
    Since I've started in the industry I've worked 5-6 days a week at a minimum. A lot of times I would work 7 days a week for a couple months straight. I've left the state 4 times in the last four years, each a short trip to visit my parents out of state for the holidays where I know nobody and the closest strip club is well over an hour away. I've also been basically single for the duration of my career, so taking vacations weren't even considered as I would have nobody to enjoy my time with even if I did want to go.

    It's not that I have no interest, it's just I haven't had the opportunity. I'm one of those people that doesn't just go out and travel as I have a major phobia of flying, and there is nothing within driving distance that I care to see.

    Quote Originally Posted by kikidejavu View Post
    Id never work in a club with only one dude on the floor. I would NOT feel safe.

    I think you should have a 25% rate until you figure out what the earning potential is at your club.
    Just because 300-800 was what girls were making before doesn't mean they will now. With the location having been closed it may take awhile for the clientele to build back up.

    Charging $100 when girls are only making 100 won't work. Charging $100 when girls are making $1000 wont work either cause youll be outta business.

    Best to play it safe and take a few dollars off each dance.
    Thanks for your input.

    Quote Originally Posted by smeca View Post
    All I can say is, I wish I had a house fee OR commission off dances. I have to pay both, and late fines and leaving early fines, sometimes. Pfft!


    It seems best to just take a small % off each dance until you know the earning potential, then change to another system if you work out that will be better.
    Thank you as well It looks like the % is winning out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    a little digging at http://www.azleg.gov/FormatDocument....13&DocType=ARS shows that in Arizona an exotic dancer who performs a 'private striptease' for a paying customer is legally considered to be an 'Escort' . Thus there may be a real Arizona legal question as to whether video surveillance can be successfully substituted for 'line of sight'.
    You're reading that wrong... Escorting and Entertaining are legally two different things. If the girls were leaving the club and doing dances at the guys house, they'd be considered an escort. As they will be staying within club walls, they are not.

    For topless clubs, cameras are a viable substitution. In some cities there doesn't even have to be a licensed manager on property. As far as nude clubs go though, line of sight AND a licensed manager on property is a must 100% of the time. There's no avoiding it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    I agree with so many things mentioned. Here's the problem though and that is getting qualified dancers. If you charge too much to the dancers and there are other clubs around they will flee and guess what you will be left with? The uglies. You need to charge an admission fee that is comparable to the club because if you charge little to nothing you will get riff raff. I have been there. Several clubs I worked at paid me when they opened because they needed to attract customers and wanted some girls with somewhat of a name. Personally I preferred the straight out house as long as it was crowded. If it wasn't crowded a percentage works better. Charging dancers for both is utter bullshit and I am seeing it more.

    For the whole DJ/bouncer issue, I see no problem with the DJ being a backup bouncer (I've seen this)but not the only bouncer. That is a bad idea. I have worked at the jukebox type clubs and these tend to be trashy and don't appeal to higher quality customers and dancers.

    As for tipping other employees dancers resent paying people who aren't doing a damn thing. It should be your job to pay most of these people instead of depending on dancers.
    I agree that charging dancers for both is BS. Pick one and stick to it. To do otherwise is simply greed.

    Like I've said before, if it gets to the point where the clientele dictates the need of a dedicated doorman, it shall be done. Or even if the girls feel completely uncomfortable and there ISN'T a need, dancer happiness comes first and I'll figure out a way to make it happen.

    I would not employ someone who is knowingly "not doing a damn thing." Everyone that has previously worked for me has done their job or they've lost it. If I'm paying you I have very little patience for repeated laziness or incompetence. For example: if I have to do a job for you that I am paying you to do because you're unwilling or incapable - you will be dismissed.

    Quote Originally Posted by OmegaWest View Post
    I have seen clubs across the country, and those that typically start small, unless they can show definitive expansion plans that the clientel can see from their first visit, tend to fall into the always shall be small clubs catagory. You would ask why is this? Simple. The clientel you attract being small are a niche group that when you expand you risk losing, and this isnt just the customers, some girls only want to work in smaller clubs with less competition.

    Before you decide to start small and grow, maybe you should find one more partner that will allow you to start medium and then after the year you can adjust, with what the girls mentioned, quality over quantity

    Good Luck with however you decide to go no matter what, that first 365 days working by yourself will be brutal
    The plan is not to start small and stay small. We are just going to build along with the traffic. Marketing will be a major priority, and expansion is the goal.

    We will be lobbying to bring in beer and wine to cater to the local population who seeks alcohol, as well as strengthen our VIP sales through Champagne and Sparkling wine.

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    You can continue to justify it all you want, and maybe it would "theoretically" work...but the bottom line is that quality dancers are not going to work at a club without a full time bouncer, and that caters to locals that think $20 is not worth getting to see all the pussy they want.
    But we've done it before, and we had higher quality girls than any of the surrounding clubs charging more for cover. It's all about atmosphere.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by StripClubPsych View Post



    The plan is not to start small and stay small. We are just going to build along with the traffic. Marketing will be a major priority, and expansion is the goal.

    We will be lobbying to bring in beer and wine to cater to the local population who seeks alcohol, as well as strengthen our VIP sales through Champagne and Sparkling wine.

    But we've done it before, and we had higher quality girls than any of the surrounding clubs charging more for cover. It's all about atmosphere.

    The part your missing is customers who frequent the 10 and under entertainer style clubs are not the ones who go with the same regularity to the medium 10-20 plus girl size clubs because of your ending sentence.

    The atmosphere is not the same.Either go medium or go small, but you will find the markets are a very dynamic group with few rollovers. You ask why, because girls who work with 20 girls have a diffferent drive then those who prefer to work where there are only 5 or 6.
    As such the customer who frequents a club with 10 girls and under isnt one who would thrive in a faster pace medium sized venue, he would simply go find another small place with a couple dancers style that is more to his liking.
    The term I'm after is dont grow with one group and then toss them aside for future plans.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by OmegaWest View Post
    The part your missing is customers who frequent the 10 and under entertainer style clubs are not the ones who go with the same regularity to the medium 10-20 plus girl size clubs because of your ending sentence.

    The atmosphere is not the same.Either go medium or go small, but you will find the markets are a very dynamic group with few rollovers. You ask why, because girls who work with 20 girls have a diffferent drive then those who prefer to work where there are only 5 or 6.
    As such the customer who frequents a club with 10 girls and under isnt one who would thrive in a faster pace medium sized venue, he would simply go find another small place with a couple dancers style that is more to his liking.
    The term I'm after is dont grow with one group and then toss them aside for future plans.
    I'd rather pack a small club with a group of hustlers than have the same amount of girls in a medium sized club with the same amount of customers.

    Problem with AZ is, there aren't any huge show-club style clubs. The ones that are big, always look empty.

    It's simply the perception, you can put 75 people into this particular building, 10 dancers and it's wall-to-wall people.

    Do that in another club that's twice the size, and it looks like there's hardly anyone there.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by StripClubPsych View Post
    Since I've started in the industry I've worked 5-6 days a week at a minimum. A lot of times I would work 7 days a week for a couple months straight. I've left the state 4 times in the last four years, each a short trip to visit my parents out of state for the holidays where I know nobody and the closest strip club is well over an hour away. I've also been basically single for the duration of my career, so taking vacations weren't even considered as I would have nobody to enjoy my time with even if I did want to go.

    It's not that I have no interest, it's just I haven't had the opportunity. I'm one of those people that doesn't just go out and travel as I have a major phobia of flying, and there is nothing within driving distance that I care to see.
    That's insane to me, because my husband has managed clubs (strip clubs and night clubs) for ten years now in two countries, several states, often working 70+hrs a week, and still makes time to travel. I sincerely think that gaining experience in other markets gives you a lot of perspective as a manager, and is key in staff and/or dancer relations.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    That's insane to me, because my husband has managed clubs (strip clubs and night clubs) for ten years now in two countries, several states, often working 70+hrs a week, and still makes time to travel. I sincerely think that gaining experience in other markets gives you a lot of perspective as a manager, and is key in staff and/or dancer relations.
    It would be one thing if I was just working that amount of time because I wanted to... I've done it because I HAD to. There wasn't anyone else. In some cases, if I wasn't at work, the club just wouldn't open. I couldn't schedule days off, I worked if I was sick, put off going to the hospital for bronchitis for over a week until I knew for a fact it wasn't going to heal itself. It's been a rough four years.

    Add in being terrified of flying, and having done EXTENSIVE traveling when I was younger, I just don't see the point in driving/flying somewhere, paying for hotels and everything else just to go to a strip club. What works elsewhere does not work in Phoenix. I had a VERY lengthy conversation with a friend of mine who promotes in Hawaii for nightclubs when a person he worked for was interested in converting her nightclub into a strip club.

    I found out over about an hour long conversation that almost NOTHING I knew about clubs/stripclubs here applied over there. Almost the same in Texas. Our laws are SO strict here the way we conduct business would not be practical elsewhere. And seeing as how I'm not planning on moving anywhere, it would be more of a "Oh that's neat" expedition than being able to put anything to use.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Honestly, I strip to support myself and get ahead in life.
    I am sick and tired of being told that not only is it my job to support myself, purchase supplies I need for my job, and pay my incredibly complicated taxes, it is also my (and the other dancers') responsibility to support every non-dancer staff member, keep the club open, and keep the club's lights on.
    The customer pays a cover charge. The club gets a cut of dances/vips. Why is this insufficient to pay overhead, pay staff and turn a profit?
    Clubs that do not have naked dancin' ladies are able to stay open, pay staff, and turn a profit. Yes, they can sell alcohol. No, they can't charge a $10+ cover or get a cut of dances and vips.
    It's been argued that house fee goes to supply us with the venue and staff to earn our income. Well, the system still has us tip the staff on top of that, so that makes no sense. And said venue wouldn't be able to charge cover and profit from dances/vips. In that light, I think it's a wash, give and take. Symbiotic relationship.
    When I started dancing, getting paid $/hr to work was the norm, and now the whole system has escalated to a rate that I've started to feel my intelligence being insulted every time someone tries to sell me on the 'fairness' of it.
    It may be my admittedly biased opinion, but I do believe there is a direct correlation between the escalation of fees and the decline in the quality of the dancers. It's a basic theory: taking home a certain amount of $$ at the end of the night makes it worth it to the hot ladies. Getting fee'd to death and walking out with crap, is a giant incentive to those intelligent and attractive enough to make other arrangements.
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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    can someone explain to me why house fees are so high in the States? Up here, I get to keep all my money from my dances and the highest house fee I have paid is 45$.

    why do clubs get to keep a cut of the money from dances AND get paid for girls to work there? Why do girls pay out 200$ of their 1k nights?
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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    clubs with high payout and fees tend to have limited revenue streams, so they take more from the girls, which is poor execution and planning by the owners

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    I guess I just don't understand how that is such a problem in the States but not a problem up here. Like, I'm not expected to tip anyone (the DJ is expected but not a lot of girls tip him anyway? I'm the biggest tipper at 15$ a night). The doormen / bouncers have TOLD me not to tip them unless they do something for me. Waitresses have given me back tips telling me to keep my money...

    I guess I don't really understand why it is that they girls (who are the reason why the guys are there in the first place) are expected to supply the staff with extra income when most of the time, they don't really do that much to help them. I read so many stories on here about guys doing shitty things to girls and not getting kicked out.... you would think that if they're making a decent amount off of the girls they would try to treat them better. It just seems like they are making a % anyway so why bother being better than they HAVE to be?

    and I also don't understand this whole "house-mom" business but that's a whole other story.
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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Equity is a roguish thing. For Law we have a measure, know what to trust to; Equity is according to the conscience of him that is Chancellor, and as that is larger or narrower, so is Equity. ’T is all one as if they should make the standard for the measure we call a “foot” a Chancellor’s foot; what an uncertain measure would this be! One Chancellor has a long foot, another a short foot, a third an indifferent foot. ’T is the same thing in the Chancellor’s conscience

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    I know from my business plan that is written and guidelines given to the support staff, they are not allowed to hustle entertainers for tips.
    They in turn are going to be paid a wage higher then most, and this is why even being in beginning stages of land clearing I have a file cabinet with over 100 resume's for support staff already.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by luscious sadie View Post
    can someone explain to me why house fees are so high in the States? Up here, I get to keep all my money from my dances and the highest house fee I have paid is 45$.

    why do clubs get to keep a cut of the money from dances AND get paid for girls to work there? Why do girls pay out 200$ of their 1k nights?
    Because to put it bluntly American business owners are exceptionally greedy. This is a problem in all industries but the strip club industry is one of the worst. One of the owners here got in trouble awhile back because he wasn't paying taxes on most of the money. Need I mention that this sleazy owner was charging like $200 house fees and had strict fees for the stupidest reasons?

    I never worked there (auditioned but turned it down)but have worked a few clubs where we paid so much yet no idea where the money went. For instance one club we had to tip both the bouncer and DJ and both got a small salary I believe. The club was always packed and the owners worked there. One club raised housefees and started hiring more dancers so the owner could buy a house. Owners claim they need all these house fees but when a dancer is paying so much in house and tipping on top of that while the clubs don't have a lot of non dancing employees it makes one wonder.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    I also know that a lot of clubs take a % of what you make. I would be more ok with paying like, 100$ a night to work somewhere than have it go up or down depending on how much I made.
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    Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy shit.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Some take 50% or more from a dance, VIP AND a huge house, which always bothered me. That is a way to take advantage of a dancer. As I feel, if the club is making more from a dancer than she is making that is being used.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Oddly the clubs I knew that charged the most in fees were bikini full liquor bars, like most I danced at. I once auditioned at a nude club and the fees were really low, like $40. Unfortunately though these clubs were charging less for full nude dances then the topless clubs.

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    Default Re: I want to hear your opinion on "fair."

    Quote Originally Posted by slowpoke View Post
    Equity is a roguish thing. For Law we have a measure, know what to trust to; Equity is according to the conscience of him that is Chancellor, and as that is larger or narrower, so is Equity. ’T is all one as if they should make the standard for the measure we call a “foot” a Chancellor’s foot; what an uncertain measure would this be! One Chancellor has a long foot, another a short foot, a third an indifferent foot. ’T is the same thing in the Chancellor’s conscience
    Oh slowpoke, how we've missed you.

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