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Thread: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

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    Default "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    Recently a group of women visited a few clubs in the area and they have proceeded to hand out little cheap gift bags with a business card in them. I checked out the website and the lady who is trying to "help" is doing more harm then help.

    One of the biggest misconceptions about dancers is that we are all helpless, hopeless, desperate women who think so little of ourselves that this is all we can do. What total, complete horseshit. I dance bc i choose to do so, not bc there is nothing else better I can do. You see I view myself as the smart one who captializes on a business in which I highly value myself as a person. I think alot of myself, flaws and all. I am in this "industry" bc it is one of the most profitable. I know Im capable of achieving alot in this life. It is other peoples' skewed viewpoints that kill and distort this business. The customers who like me who truly look out for me do so bc they know I am good person. Yes it is about the fantasy, looks etc...but there is a hell of alot more to it if you want to do well in this business. The religious freaks are so ignorant. They think they r reaching out to poor, beaten down women..I for one am the strongest I have been in my entire life right now and that is after YEARS in this business. I am about to graduate and I have alot of positives in my life. I dont need this lady's ignorant outreach bullshit website to help me out. When people step out and impose their "faith" on others assuming they are right they are going to be met with alot of skepticism to put it lightly. I know many of you may not agree with me, that's fine, the purpsoe of this post is to expose a woman who although believes she is helping a certain "type" of women, she really has no idea of who she is dealing with. There are alot of successful dancers who have their lives and acts together. She is out of touch with reality to say the least.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    what is the website? is it some kind of christian outreach thing? I dont quite understand from your post but it sounds fucking weird
    former stripperweb user trishaxxxo

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    yeah. what's the site?

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    I know what group you are talking about (I think) and while you may not be "stuck" in the industry and neither were most here, the fact is some women are.

    That aside though and I hated when people would try to "help" me when I didn't want it. To me the biggest insult was when it was followed by a suggestion to work in fast food or retail. I go into stripping to avoid those jobs to begin with.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    I would also find that incredibly insulting.....perhaps a more constructive approach would be to create this resource for women who ARE in trouble and advertise outside of the club. I've known dancers who meet the "desperate and helpless" criteria; most of them are ticking time bombs and will eventually self destruct, and there is VERY little anyone can do to help them. I learned a long time ago to not even bother trying to "save" a dancer in trouble; at some point or another, people just have to help themselves. So, I feel like while this woman is offering help, the people who desire it WILL find it without her aid. And if they can't make the effort to seek out help, they clearly lack the willpower to fix their problems anyway.

    If someone like this had the ladyballs to come into MY workplace and tell me I shouldn't be working there, I would be absolutely infuriated. I would NOT work there if I felt as if I was doing any kind of harm to myself or selling myself short. Personally, I think there's more shame in flipping burgers for minimum wage.

    Anyway, I'm pretty sure people like her only offer "help" to satisfy their own selfish needs; she has to believe what you're doing is wrong and that you hate it, because if she knew the truth, she wouldn't be able to handle it. "I had to go to college and struggle out from a mountain of debt, and so will you, damn it!"
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    if it isn't relevant for you, throw the card away.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    This lady although she thinks she is a saint has a skewed view of dancers. You can not slap a label on every "industry" worker as she so labels us. Do you all think you are women who think that you are worthless? Nope...I dont think so... Many of us have our acts together and we choose to do this over our corporate jobs. These women walked in like they were saving the day. They have not a clue. I wanted to send this woman an email, but I didnt see an instant option to reach her. I was sickened so much from what I was reading about her purpose in life that I quickly got off her site. I hate it when people wish to infect others with their misjudgements.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    if it isn't relevant for you, throw the card away.

    The purpose of this thread is to inform you all of what some people are imposing and assuming about us. I figured some of you would like to know.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Golden View Post
    I would also find that incredibly insulting.....perhaps a more constructive approach would be to create this resource for women who ARE in trouble and advertise outside of the club. I've known dancers who meet the "desperate and helpless" criteria; most of them are ticking time bombs and will eventually self destruct, and there is VERY little anyone can do to help them. I learned a long time ago to not even bother trying to "save" a dancer in trouble; at some point or another, people just have to help themselves. So, I feel like while this woman is offering help, the people who desire it WILL find it without her aid. And if they can't make the effort to seek out help, they clearly lack the willpower to fix their problems anyway.

    If someone like this had the ladyballs to come into MY workplace and tell me I shouldn't be working there, I would be absolutely infuriated. I would NOT work there if I felt as if I was doing any kind of harm to myself or selling myself short. Personally, I think there's more shame in flipping burgers for minimum wage.

    Anyway, I'm pretty sure people like her only offer "help" to satisfy their own selfish needs; she has to believe what you're doing is wrong and that you hate it, because if she knew the truth, she wouldn't be able to handle it. "I had to go to college and struggle out from a mountain of debt, and so will you, damn it!"
    I wish I could frame this post. The last paragraph is exactly the point I was trying to get across. Very well put. Her opinion was that what we were doing was "wrong" or "hurtful". That in itself is a slap in the face. Walking into an establishment and saying "what u r doing is wrong" warrants itself an ass beating.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    I've gotten those people before. We used to call them the "pink bag people" cause they always brought makeup in little pink bags. I ignore them, but I hate them because when my peepshow closed they got way more active in "helping" us. Some girls looked into it and they pretty much were suggesting everyone in the sex industry was sexually abused. No one took them up on helping us, and we were really upset that they were so happy about us closing.

    I am totally down for people helping girls get out, we all know it can be a problem, but when it comes off as preachy it turns a lot of people away. For me (and I'm sure other people in the sex industry), its 100xs better talking to people who once were in the sex industry and actually understand who we are and what we're go through. I'm not going to talk to someone who needs to justify the reason I am a stripper, and thinks if they hook me up with a minimum wage job filling paperwork I'll be so much better off.

    Weird thought, if someone went to their work and handed out propaganda on why they should all become sex workers, it probably wouldn't be received so kindly. Haha, I think I need to make some pro-stripper propaganda. (kidding!)
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    I think my biggest beef against organizations like this is that I don't believe they truly care about the state of the women in the industry who are actually hurting - they simply believe that, according to their religion, sex work is wrong so they want to put a stop to it. But rather than just say "God doesn't like sex work so we want to stop it" and be attacked, they try to veil it behind this idea that they're trying to help victims because they "really care" about the troubles they're going through. If they really cared about victims, they would find and focus on the true victims - not say that everyone is a victim and needs to get out of sex work.

    But... I guess, according to them, everyone in the industry is a victim - of the devil, because if they had God in their life they would understand that God hates sex work... or something like that... I've met many religious sex workers and they seem to be doing just fine.

    I don't mind outreach programs for those who really need, but don't make your outreach to everyone and then try to frame it as "caring" when it's really just about moral superiority.
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    This^^^^^

    In its basic sense I support something like this and considered doing something for those who were forced into it or have no choices. However they are wrong to think it's immoral and everyone was pushed into it. I wasn't pushed into it and I had other skills.

    Incidentally one of the women I knew who was "trying to help" sex workers supported politicians who were the most anti woman you could imagine. That makes people like her hypocrites because she claimed the industry was bad, then supported politicians who were against women. How can those who want to leave be able to with these politicians who are opposed to women in general?

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    ^^Thank you all for ur input. You all have made some excellent well thought out points. Yep they were the pink bag freaks. The worst part is that they all waltzed in as if they were better than everyone. Really they are all just Bible freaks who want our establishments shut down. They can all go to hell for all I care. If I am going to hell by simply being in a strip club, then I think I will gladly stick around for a while. Hell, here I come!!

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    This reminds me of when I used to waitress, and a group of evangelists left me a "tip" at the end of their meal - they had printed little tracts about Jesus on paper disguised as money, so as you approach the table it looks like they left a dollar or two. They didn't leave any monetary tip at all - just these fake Jesus dollars.

    So insulting, to come to a person's work place and push your beliefs on them, while taking up the time we could be using to actually earn a living. Ugh, I still get pissed off thinking about that, and it was almost ten years ago.
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    Now that is horrendous and plain out evil. I sort of understand the group Shift mentions but just to leave pamphlets instead of money. Oh that's great Christian values there.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    I knew a woman who did something along these lines, but hers was more to assist with dancers. When i decided to leave dancing she actually helped me with my resume and looking for jobs. She wasn't trying to get anyone one to leave the industry. She actually brought Avalon To Richmond for an Exotic Dancer Seminar. It was pretty awesome and really helped my hustle.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    I haven't looked at the website yet but I am intrigued as to why it is so incensing!

    We have had "pink bag people" come into the club as well. Usually it's lip gloss, eye shadow, some earrings and a little hand written card that says 'thinking of you' or (my fave) 'praying for you'. I usually smile and say thanks, if it makes these women feel more elevated on their moral high horse, then bring me a MAC store everyday I work. Their opinions arent going to stop me from working.

    There are also these young girls from a church group down the street that come in and give us mini pedicures and they don't even accept our tips! They say they do what they do for us because Jesus washed his disciples' feet? I'm not 100% clear on what that means but like I said, if it helps them sleep better at night then sure you may paint my toesies sparkly stripper pink for me.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    ^^They brought in fifty cent earrings from the dollar store and prolly 50 cent lipgloss. If they r gonna bring me nice things they at least need to upgrade it to diamond earrings and a min of MAC lipgloss..then maybe i could convince that lady to jump up on the runway for a sec so I could throw pennies at her. I will be sure to beat her with my whip next time if I see her again so I can give her a taste of what shes missing...

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    ....I'm reading through some of these stories on her website, and no matter how hard I look or how many times I read them, I STILL can't figure out how the sex industry itself was responsible for destroying their lives.

    "I went to a porn convention ONE day, met a few guys, climbed into a car and was raped in a park.....then my abusive, alcoholic boyfriend impregnated me and I decided to bring an innocent life into a toxic environment and ultimately ended up dragging my daughter along with me to a women's shelter. Oh, but I don't blame the rapist, my druggie ex or circumstances out of my control; it was the porn industry, damn it!"

    "I got curious and watched porn when I was 4. Then I grew up and became a stripper. Then I quit....the end."

    "I was a dancer for 18 years, made bank and felt awesome........wait, why the fuck did I quit?"
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    I worked with an NGO in a developing country, as an outreach worker, but rather than preaching (we werent a religious group) we instead offered free health care/std checks, english classes, free childminding and education, as well as financial skills, so the women could make exit plans.
    much better way of doing it, than trying to 'save' people
    Theres no sense crying over every mistake,
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by sexy_celeste View Post
    I worked with an NGO in a developing country, as an outreach worker, but rather than preaching (we werent a religious group) we instead offered free health care/std checks, english classes, free childminding and education, as well as financial skills, so the women could make exit plans.
    much better way of doing it, than trying to 'save' people


    Were u helping people who could not take care of themselves, or dancers? There is a huge difference between the two of course. Idk what NGO is. I keep on top of my health, am excellent with my money, and I am about to graduate from college. I am on top of things and I am aware of how hard the world is outside of dancing and inside of it as well.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    NGO = non government organization
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Natalllia View Post
    NGO = non government organization
    Thank u..Got it..Were helping dancers or were helping girls who were victims of trafficking? Two totally different scenarios.

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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    One time the "Pink Bag People" brought only dark foundation. We were kinda like, "Wowww... I guess they're targeting the black dancers now."
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    Default Re: "You Aren't Helping..You're Insulting Us"(rant)

    oh god that website is so self-indulgent. i bet she pulls out the bells and whistles at parties so everyone can marvel at what a saint she is.

    true there are women out there who may feel lonely or need help but we hav big well known organisations down here and fliers on the back of toilet cubicles for treating depression or recovering from abuse etc.

    i tried to read one of the stories but it sounded soooooo made up! like really just a lazy attempt at trying to thrust their point of view down the viewers throat by 'heres a real person for you skeptics'

    gotta stop reading.



    and i bet if someone tried to reach out to them they would do more harm then good. like the charity people that came to our house when we couldnt afford to pay bills/food/school/etc and asked if we thought about going to church and praying to god all doing so while talking down at us for being irresponsible.


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