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Thread: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    ..and she wrote her a note that said "you will die in your sleep."

    Ummm......what the HELL???!!!!???!!!

    My daughter is 4 and, admittedly, is not the easiest to be friends with at times. We're working on her demanding/bossy attitude.

    This other little girl is 7 and is deeply disturbed; I've talked to her father numerous times about her very, very violent behavior that she keeps behind closed doors. For example, I went to the bathroom and she unlocked the front door and let my daughter go outside, where she could've easily stepped into heavy traffic and told me she had no idea where Alana went. I know it was her because I have child safety locks on the doors that she can get around; I've taught her how to open them, since they're also on my bathroom and bedroom doors.

    So, what should I do about this? I was trying not to be very angry with her, but I couldn't help reacting in a heated way. I am literally clueless as to how I'm supposed to feel about it. And if you're curious as to why I agree to watch her, it's purely because I pity her. I've posted another thread about her and the way her father treats her; at this point, I feel like my husband and I are some of the only responsible adults in her life and I seriously worry about how she would end up if we weren't around. BUT, this may be the last straw.

    I've talked to her Dad and he has very little response; he's just not taking her seriously or acknowledging that a problem exists at all. Should I stop watching her? Should I report this to authorities, since she probably needs some kind of psychiatric evaluation? Or am I totally overreacting?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    I remember your last post looking for advice on dealing with this situation, and, honestly, as much as I'm sure you don't want to admit defeat and pack your bags and go back home, there comes a point where enough is enough. You're staying with a "friend" who is expecting you to dish out hundreds of dollars feeding him and his daughter without even any assistance in transportation, he doesn't seem open to listening to your concerns (let alone doing anything about them), and now you have his daughter putting your child in danger (letting her outside) and making threats. Just go. Get out of this situation.

    I feel like I recall you saying you don't have any money, but just put a cheap motel room or plane/bus tickets home on a credit card and get yourself out of this situation already. Based on your posts, it really doesn't seem worth your mental health to stick around, especially since you're not even making money. This father & daughter have their issues, but they're not going to change just because you're around.

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    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    I would stop watching her because you may be allowing her to abuse your own child if not physically then mentally and certainly what you described sounds like a danger to your child. I might call social services.

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    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    I'd stop babysitting her. She's dangerous to your daughter. Your daughter is your priority!
    InnesX

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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    Please, please do not leave this girl alone with your daughter. Not for one second. She's dangerous, angry, probably jealous in a supremely destructive way, and cannot be trusted at all under any circumstances.

    Honestly, as a parent of a young girl, just reading your description of what she did to your daughter scared the hell out of me.

    Please just trust your instincts on this and act as quickly as possible.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I remember your last post looking for advice on dealing with this situation, and, honestly, as much as I'm sure you don't want to admit defeat and pack your bags and go back home, there comes a point where enough is enough. You're staying with a "friend" who is expecting you to dish out hundreds of dollars feeding him and his daughter without even any assistance in transportation, he doesn't seem open to listening to your concerns (let alone doing anything about them), and now you have his daughter putting your child in danger (letting her outside) and making threats. Just go. Get out of this situation.

    I feel like I recall you saying you don't have any money, but just put a cheap motel room or plane/bus tickets home on a credit card and get yourself out of this situation already. Based on your posts, it really doesn't seem worth your mental health to stick around, especially since you're not even making money. This father & daughter have their issues, but they're not going to change just because you're around.

    I think it's finally come to that point. Here's the real kick in the ass: I just started making fantastic money and worked out a reasonable schedule with her Dad. BUT it goes without saying that the situation is by far out of my control and the $ isn't worth risking my daughter's safety, be it physically or mentally. Really, I just needed reassurance that I wasn't overreacting to death threats from a 7 year old. My husband was the one who found the note and my first reaction was to book plane tickets, pronto. I'm still debating calling social services, but I think this may be the deciding factor.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    If it's going well work-wise, there's no reason you can't take some of that money you've earned and get yourself a place to stay in town so you can keep working. That's what you came for after all, and as long as you're out of that house, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to rake in the moolah.

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    Member Friend2000's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Golden View Post
    ...I'm still debating calling social services, but I think this may be the deciding factor.

    At least for anonymous advice, call social services. They have heard worse.

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    Veteran Member Amareth's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    I remember your other post, it sounds like this girl has serious issues and her father has severely damaged her emotionally. Have you tried talking to her about why her behaviour is wrong?

    I agree with Shanna, if you've finally started making good money and don't want to give that up start looking at other places you can rent. You might find a decent short-term rental on Craigslist or see if there are any hotels/motels that offer good weekly/monthly rates.

    I'm glad to hear you worked out a good schedule with the father finally but it still sounds like a bad situation to be in. Nothing is worth risking your daughter's safety for.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    Quote Originally Posted by Amareth View Post
    I remember your other post, it sounds like this girl has serious issues and her father has severely damaged her emotionally. Have you tried talking to her about why her behaviour is wrong?

    I agree with Shanna, if you've finally started making good money and don't want to give that up start looking at other places you can rent. You might find a decent short-term rental on Craigslist or see if there are any hotels/motels that offer good weekly/monthly rates.

    I'm glad to hear you worked out a good schedule with the father finally but it still sounds like a bad situation to be in. Nothing is worth risking your daughter's safety for.
    Oh yes, I've absolutely tried to talk to her. We've had sit down talks, I've told her she can come to me about anything, etc. It's difficult to actually make an impact on her behavior without stepping over my boundaries as her baby sitter.

    Some time last year, her Dad left her at my house for an entire week...the whole time, she seemed incredibly distant and at one point, shut herself in my daughter's room and wrote her name on literally everything in there. The bed, the dresser, toys, etc. This raised the first big, red flag for me that she seriously envies my daughter. Unfortunately, her Dad tried to tell us "she does stuff for no reason all the time.".....well, obviously there's a reason behind it! But while I feel like I can be a source of comfort, advice and at times, discipline, it's not my place to approach issues dealing with her psychological well being. But then again, I could be wrong, idk.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    When we have little ones we are their voices, we are their protectors. They cannot speak for themselves or protect themselves from mean people. At age 7 this child does have an understanding of wrong & right and simply does not have any regard for your daughter's life. GTFOutta there en chinga which means super duper fuckin' fast in Spanish.

    I think its kind of you to be concerned for this little girl because she clearly has some issues, but it is your daughter over her. It's best you call social services once you're out the house and let them know about your concerns.

    We can't save the world but we can at the very least take care of our own.

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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Golden View Post

    Some time last year, her Dad left her at my house for an entire week...the whole time, she seemed incredibly distant and at one point, shut herself in my daughter's room and wrote her name on literally everything in there. The bed, the dresser, toys, etc.

    W.T.F. The antichrist has arrived.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    ^^^Dude! I know!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    The girl is clearly deeply disturbed and the father is obviously not any better. By 7 years old, this behavior isn't just "re-enacting violent tv without any understanding" or something like that - she knows what she's doing is wrong and she doesn't care, and her father doesn't care enough to see the danger in that and put a stop to it. You are not overreacting. You need to get your daughter the hell away from this girl, and then call social services. The dad is obviously unfit - he doesn't feed her and he's raising a sociopath. I don't think it would be over-stepping your bounds at all to make sure this child gets the help that she needs, but will never get from her parent.

    Don't feel bad about "turning on him" after he gave you a place to stay. Something needs to be done before that girl grows up to be even more disturbed and something seriously bad happens to her or someone in her path. I'm not religious at all, but maybe you were put there for a reason. This girl needs help from outside services, and your family seems to be the only people who know it.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    The girl is clearly deeply disturbed and the father is obviously not any better. By 7 years old, this behavior isn't just "re-enacting violent tv without any understanding" or something like that - she knows what she's doing is wrong and she doesn't care, and her father doesn't care enough to see the danger in that and put a stop to it. You are not overreacting. You need to get your daughter the hell away from this girl, and then call social services. The dad is obviously unfit - he doesn't feed her and he's raising a sociopath. I don't think it would be over-stepping your bounds at all to make sure this child gets the help that she needs, but will never get from her parent.

    Don't feel bad about "turning on him" after he gave you a place to stay. Something needs to be done before that girl grows up to be even more disturbed and something seriously bad happens to her or someone in her path. I'm not religious at all, but maybe you were put there for a reason. This girl needs help from outside services, and your family seems to be the only people who know it.
    This. Get you and your child out of there and call child services.

  19. #16
    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: The girl I babysit hates my daughter..

    You are not overreacting GTFO. Oh and based on this and your other post call CPS on that girl's father.

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