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Thread: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

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    Default "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    I'm planning on retiring as a dancer--my husband is still in college, and will pull in some decent money once he graduates, but I encourage him to attend school to enrich his own life and not to be put under pressure to "bring home the bacon," because, let's be honest....even once he does graduate, I'll likely double his salary. So anyway, I'm building up a little nest egg to help ease us into a comfy retirement and let us have something to sit on in case he has trouble finding a job or whatev.

    People ask me a LOT why I'm not in school. Truth is, I tried school, but had zero desire to major in anything but English....and even less desire to teach on a 40k salary. That just seems like too much bullshit with not nearly enough pay.

    Anyway, people have mixed reactions when I tell them I want to use dancing as a key to an early retirement--or at least MY early retirement, without sacrificing a comfortable lifestyle. Some look perplexed, eagerly interested, skeptical or....they'll even start laughing! Somehow, the notion of anyone retiring without a college degree seems absolutely ridiculous! I don't really bother arguing with them or defending my plans, because I know they're already convinced. I tell them I'm perfectly aware of what strict, disciplined saving and savvy investing is involved and that any number of things can happen that I'm not planning for.

    "What if you're in an accident and become paralyzed?" Well, what if I were a surgeon and severed the nerves in my hand? I hear that every day and honestly, that could be said about ANYONE in ANY work field, but somehow only applies to dancers.

    "Almost everyone comes out of college in debt---but college can only help you; it will never hurt you." True, in a sense that an education will always broaden your outlook on life and general worldview; I gained a lot in the 2 years I was in school. But as for a job, well, recent statistics show that only 25% of college grads will be offered jobs---and they are never guaranteed a salary large enough to cover student loans and living expenses.

    I've heard it all. A dear, dear friend of mine just graduated with her master's in Public Health and has been struggling to find a job...finally, she found a position with Susan G. Komen, after a year or more of searching, and is only making 35k. She is not happy at all that I'm planning on skipping the whole college route and heading straight for retirement. The way I see it is you go to school to be offered jobs that pay 6 figure salaries....but that's what I'm already making, right now! And yes, I'm aware that my time is limited. So wouldn't it make sense to do this while I'm young and return to school later? If I feel the desire to at all, that is.

    So what do you make of people who are skeptical of dancing careers? I kind of feel like they're stomping on the floor and screaming "I struggled through sleep deprivation, poverty, ramen noodle diets and cramming for tests and so will you, damn it!"
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    Senior Member missyqueenb's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    While people may have misconceptions about dancing career's it seems you have misconceptions about going to post-secondary schooling. First off im not going to school to "broaden outlook on life and general worldview". I go to school to better myself as a human being by the means of education and also because in order to get those 6 figures its quite mandatory. 9 out of 10 millionaires have post-secondary education and without it they would not be in their position today so it opens doors. Your friend is actually the norm. No student from post-secondary will come out making six figures and with proper budgeting she can live quite comftorbely on her salary assuming she has no children. University is a investment and with all investments it doesnt pay off fast. It takes time but the benifits are great. Right away your going to be making at least 5x more than a person with a highschool diploma and at LEAST $5000 more than a person with a college diploma is most feilds. The six figures come with years of experience and good hard work...but they come. That whole crap school is not for me is dumb. Of course school is not always a fun and exciting experience but its one of those things where you just do what you got to do. What your doing makes no sense to me and i imagine me and your friend might be thinking along the same lines. You used the surgeon as a example and so i will use it again. Say the surgeon severs his nerves. He will never be able to operate again on a human being. HOWEVER said surgoen has gone to school for at least 8 years and so with his education he can go into hospital managment, medical teaching, and ethics counciling to name a few. The first 2 pay at least 75k. The ethics he could do part time and that would bring his pay up to 100k. If you suffer a injury which prevents you from dancing again what options do you have? I liken dancing to professional athletes and the smart athletes finished school, so when they get injured and cant play anymore they have a backup. The dumb ones who get injured are screwd. It makes more sense to finish school so that if your master plan doesnt work out you have a backup rather than years down the line when your much older and something goes wrong your in shit. Its very hard to go back to school when your out for a long time and when your finished your going to be competing with younger, fresher, and smarter minds for a job. Thats if you can even afford to go back seeing tuition is raising each year. It makes more sense to dance and go to school and finish school and continue to dance until you get tired of it or something prevents you from doing it rather than dance and go to school later. The easier way is not always the best way and in this case its true.
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    I believe going to college is a need.. It teaches you how to communicate and network with people, the skills someone who only attended highschool would not have. Pick a program that has an investment profit, that is needed and has many outcomes. A college grad will start off low but with the proper skills, they are able to get up from 30k to 60k within 4 years.

    School never really interested me, I love history and arts but that is not a program I would pick to major in due to many risks, instead I went into business, many outcomes and is in need.. Sure it could be boring or start off with 30k but you built a ladder to achieve a higher inome. Have you considered trying out another major ?

    With a broken hand that surgeon will have other paths in the job field, will have insurance, and benefits that he/she will be able to apply for. As for dancers.. we do not get benefits, insurance, proof of work/pay stubs. This goes into totally a different area with credit and work history which will affect your life in the future. If you are on planning on dancing to retirement, have you considered your credit to be in tact, have tax income, proof of employment and salary.. such things are in need when getting a new house, renting, and buy to things such as cars even.

    No one can tell you what to do, look at all your options, what will happen if you and you husband were to divorce/seperate what will happen to your money that you are planning on helping him with, his income will no longer be avaiable. If you are planning on doing this, always have a back up no matter what.

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    My man creature never went to college and he's a CEO who has started, brought up and sold three successful companies now. When his companies are functioning at their zenith, right before he sells them he's frequently making a quarter of a million dollars a year.

    So no, you don't have to go to college. What you do have to do is cultivate a skill that you can use and use well for however many years it takes you to make that money.
    Last edited by IsobelWren; 01-30-2012 at 11:58 AM.


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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    Oooh this drives me nuts, I get it all the time as well. I did go to college and graduated (which is when I started dancing) but I don't really want to do anything but dance for the next few years. So I always get guys who ask me "So what do you do in the day, school?" Whenever I say no, they can't seem to wrap their minds around the fact that I ONLY do this. I think they want me to say "Oh well I'm only doing this to get through school" for their own comfort.

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    Farrah I think u r a sweetheart. However, what would u do if u and ur husband divorced? Then u would not be able to rely upon what he would be making. ANd the six figures is not guaranteed to last. Hold onto it while u still r able to make it. But for the long term it may not be realistic. School sucks, trust me I know but it is good to have something to fall back on.

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    I think it's always good to at least try to get some sort of higher education - just because I know many people who were "just gonna take some time off to figure out what they wanted to study" and now years later, they're stuck in a dead-end job, and get caught up in a circle of "well, if I start school now, I'll be so old when I get out" but the longer they wait to start, the older they'll be....

    But, if you've already tried school and decided it's not your thing right now, I say don't push it just cuz people tell you to. I know people who didn't go to college and are struggling, like I said, but I also know many people who graduated college just because they felt they had to (me included) and now have nothing they want to do with it and probably won't even remember half the shit they learned in a few years. People tout this "just get a business or nursing or whatever-the-hell degree" line all the time with this idea that it'll "open opportunities and put you in demand." Yeah, sure, if you can get yourself through studying something you don't give a shit about. Sorry, but if I had gone to school for business or nursing when I didn't want to study or go into that, I wouldn't have paid attention, done the bare minimum, and gotten through it with little knowledge actually acquired. I see no point in spending the time and money "studying" something that you care nothing about when the lack of caring is only going to translate to mediocre grades and nothing really retained.

    With that said, you should always have a plan B. Maybe have your first saving endeavor be to put away a chunk of money to be used for education if something does happen and you can't/don't want to dance anymore. And if you never use it, well, then it'll be there for when your daughter grows up, right? I get where people are coming from saying to go to school to have it be a back-up plan, but I don't think you need to go to school now. Imo, it's better to wait until you actually have a desire to learn something than to just half-ass your way through something you aren't really paying attention to. Even if you had the degree now, you wouldn't be using it now, so it's not like you'd be working your way up to the higher salary in the meantime.

    Maybe you'll dance a few years, then decide it's too tiring to try to retire off of it, and go back to school then with the money you've saved up. Maybe you will keep dancing and eventually get to the point where you realize you can retire. Either way, it's not like school is going anywhere. People of any age can go back to college if they need/want to. Nothing depresses me more than seeing someone with absolutely no ambition for learning what they're learning, sitting there next to their pile of expensive, unopened textbooks, saying "Yeah, I'll just throw down some BS on paper before class." If you're going to bother getting an education, wait to get a real education when you desire it.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 12-15-2011 at 02:02 PM.
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    OP, I went to college but will be the first to admit college is not for everyone. However, while in theory you could retire from dancing and I have known many who did, this is not feasible for everyone. What happens if you tire of the clubs or the other issues people have mentioned? Plus, as you age you will not be as in demand as you were. I have worked with three types of older dancers: those who made it a career and were financially savvy, those who did it parttime while working a regular job, and those who were stuck in the job. Those stuck in the job really made me look at all options.

    Yes right now we are in a recession and yes many people with degrees make less than dancers but eventually they will move upwards (at leats most will)while many dancers will not. Btw I am also thinking of those who got training in other fields but didn't go to college, like vocational school.

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    i think a very smart dancer could use dancing to gain financial independence without issue. my biggest concern for you, farrah, is your feet. that is a long-term issue that i'm not sure many dancers anticipate and that i am starting to get rather worried about myself. otherwise, i see no flaw in your plan.

    oh, and you might get bored, but that's a universal job risk.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    ^^^I have mass appeal amongst foot fetish men.
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    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    oh i meant from wearing such absurd shoes. my pinky toes are starting to hate me.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    Quote Originally Posted by missyqueenb View Post
    While people may have misconceptions about dancing career's it seems you have misconceptions about going to post-secondary schooling. First off im not going to school to "broaden outlook on life and general worldview". I go to school to better myself as a human being by the means of education and also because in order to get those 6 figures its quite mandatory. 9 out of 10 millionaires have post-secondary education and without it they would not be in their position today so it opens doors. Your friend is actually the norm. No student from post-secondary will come out making six figures and with proper budgeting she can live quite comftorbely on her salary assuming she has no children. University is a investment and with all investments it doesnt pay off fast. It takes time but the benifits are great. Right away your going to be making at least 5x more than a person with a highschool diploma and at LEAST $5000 more than a person with a college diploma is most feilds. The six figures come with years of experience and good hard work...but they come. That whole crap school is not for me is dumb. Of course school is not always a fun and exciting experience but its one of those things where you just do what you got to do. What your doing makes no sense to me and i imagine me and your friend might be thinking along the same lines. You used the surgeon as a example and so i will use it again. Say the surgeon severs his nerves. He will never be able to operate again on a human being. HOWEVER said surgoen has gone to school for at least 8 years and so with his education he can go into hospital managment, medical teaching, and ethics counciling to name a few. The first 2 pay at least 75k. The ethics he could do part time and that would bring his pay up to 100k. If you suffer a injury which prevents you from dancing again what options do you have? I liken dancing to professional athletes and the smart athletes finished school, so when they get injured and cant play anymore they have a backup. The dumb ones who get injured are screwd. It makes more sense to finish school so that if your master plan doesnt work out you have a backup rather than years down the line when your much older and something goes wrong your in shit. Its very hard to go back to school when your out for a long time and when your finished your going to be competing with younger, fresher, and smarter minds for a job. Thats if you can even afford to go back seeing tuition is raising each year. It makes more sense to dance and go to school and finish school and continue to dance until you get tired of it or something prevents you from doing it rather than dance and go to school later. The easier way is not always the best way and in this case its true.
    I was speaking from my perspective, not yours. If school worked out for you, that's fantastic. It just didn't work out for me. I tried it, I was excited at first but found out it wasn't something I wanted to invest time, energy and money in.

    I said my friend was upset and disappointed in her smaller salary; I'm well aware that starting salaries are much lower than, say, ones of workers who have existed within a company for 10+ years. My point is, her opinion is biased because she's bitter about her hard work resulting in struggle and a salary that doesn't suit her.

    Lastly, I'm not entirely opposed to the idea of school. I said I'm just not ready to do it NOW because in 10 years, my boobs might be drooping to my belly button but it won't be too late for an education.

    And of course I have a backup for injury. It just happens to not be a college degree.
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    some of you have really unfortunate ideas about aging, as if you hit 35, and your body just starts to crumble into dust.

    there's plenty of learning you can do outside of a college setting. maybe that's what is rubbing some posters the wrong way.i don't know what farrah does in her free time, but flexibility is one of the best parts of dancing, and that flexibility and financial security can provide the perfect circumstance to learn something, study something, read something that someone who works a mainstream job can't.
    part of life is being an eternal student, so whether or not you're in university or not, it is always good to be reading something, taking a class (whether it's an art, fitness, or math class is irrelevant), improving upon some skill or hobby, etc. as long as you're always growing and keeping your brain stimulated, lots of the career dancers have posted ways to pursue career dancing as a means to financial security and independence.

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    ^^You're right, Camille. I shouldn't make assumptions about my body at 35 or that we all age viciously and rapidly. Unfortunately my mom's tits look like deflated balloons, so I've always kinda assumed mine would be the same way
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    It varies. I am 40 and still do not have sagging boobs. Generally speaking I have been in pretty good shape and still get hit on by many guys, including much younger who think I am a college student. However many of my 40 year old friends look like hell.

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    I've worked with a few ladies in their late 30's and early 40's who look fantastic. If they're still able to do it and have the desire to, then that's great. I'm just not preparing to continue working past my early 30's because it's better to assume I won't be able to do it and just save for an early retirement
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    some of you have really unfortunate ideas about aging, as if you hit 35, and your body just starts to crumble into dust.

    there's plenty of learning you can do outside of a college setting. maybe that's what is rubbing some posters the wrong way.i don't know what farrah does in her free time, but flexibility is one of the best parts of dancing, and that flexibility and financial security can provide the perfect circumstance to learn something, study something, read something that someone who works a mainstream job can't.
    part of life is being an eternal student, so whether or not you're in university or not, it is always good to be reading something, taking a class (whether it's an art, fitness, or math class is irrelevant), improving upon some skill or hobby, etc. as long as you're always growing and keeping your brain stimulated, lots of the career dancers have posted ways to pursue career dancing as a means to financial security and independence.
    Well, I did finish my first 2 years, in other words my associate's degree, before I decided it wasn't going anywhere. I gained many incredible, useful skills in just those 2 years and it helped me to become a more well rounded, intelligent and sensitive individual.

    Today, I watch very little tv and read just about anything I can get my hands on. I love to educate myself and believe reading gives me incredible insight on subjects I never even thought to learn in school. I enjoy discussing philosophy, religion and politics; in the past, I've ran several organizations related to political issues I support and volunteered during the presidential campaign, during which I earned a VIP ticket to meet President Obama. I've always loved to write and have been published in collections of poetry, twice. I believe education has empowered me and has given me the confidence I needed to make life impacting decisions, one of which was to take dancing seriously. I consider myself to be a highly educated woman, although I've spent little time in a college setting. Still, it was a valuable learning experience. It just wasn't something I wanted to devote my life to, or at least not this early in life.
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    You say you have a backup plan, so that's a good thing. College isn't for everyone, but for most people it's the best/easiest/most obvious path to a solid career.

    I'm a college student, and half the time guys at the SC act like they don't even believe me. Then if I say I already graduated with a different degree and want to go to vet school, they look at me like I have two heads. Most guys at the club are judgmental dicks. You just can't win.

    Don't doubt yourself and don't listen to the haters, especially if it's coming from some jackass at the club. Just make sure your retirement plan is realistic, and make sure you have a solid backup and money put away/invested *just in case.* Sooo many girls wind up stripping for many years longer than they ever planned to or want to... it's easy to get trapped in this industry if you're not careful. I think that's what the main concern here is.

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    I just lie and say I go to school. It seems to help my money.
    They're supporting a girl who has a "future", or at least they think I do. I don't at ALL! I don't plan to do anything else at all. I *hate* school. I earn way more money than I ever would studying!

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    ^^^Thank you, because I feel like you touched on the most relevant point. i.e, I intended this thread to focus on "how to react when customers are baffled by my lack of education," not "please tell me whether I should keep dancing or go to school." I put my panties on myself every morning; pretty sure the executive decision to stay out of school (for now) has been made.
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Golden View Post
    I intended this thread to focus on "how to react when customers are baffled by my lack of education," not "please tell me whether I should keep dancing or go to school."
    Just lie. Make up some sort of great reason to be stripping that isn't just because the money is awesome so why not take advantage of the option. I remember reading about a study that demonstrated that people are more willing to do things for others if there is a reason behind it, regardless of what the reason was (just throwing in the word 'because' exponentially increased the odds). I really feel like this applies to stripping, and customers are more willing to dish out their cash if they feel there is a 'reason'/motivation behind the stripping that isn't just because it's financially lucrative so why bother doing anything else. I think the popularity of the dancing student also has to do with the fact that many customers have post-secondary education themselves, so it makes you more relatable to them. I find that the customers who paid for their own schooling really dig the dancing stripper because they appreciate how expensive tuition is and how hard it can be to balance school/work. I've received lots of tips from customers who have been there and want to help out a bit.

    But really, you can be a student, supporting someone (except a boyfriend lol), saving up for travels, whatever. Just pick some sort of motivation for dancing that you can talk about and that interests you. At the very least, it gives you another conversational topic and way to establish rapport with the customer.

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    I'm much in the same boat you are. - secure in my decision to dance, with a "back up plan that just doesn't include college. I do not do well in a school environment, it's just not my thing. And, similarly, I get negative reactions from customers about it all the damned time.

    I have found that either lying or fudging the truth seems to be the best option. Something that is viewed as more classically "feminine" seems to get me the most mileage - studying an instrument, music theory, English or writing (start talking about your latest rapid romance novel and see how fast they change the subject, lol!), crap. like that. Medical school, like nursing, while.completely valid has become played it and is practically a stereotype now. lol

    I think shanna dior has other right - for whatever reason, dudes seem to want to "support" a stripper with "goals" - but they have to be goals that the dude understands and can get his head around. Bullshit? Totally. True? Sadly, yes.
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    I've had a similar issue, not because I don't go to school, but because I go to college on scholarships. At my first club, many of the other strippers didn't get "why" I was there, as I don't have a kid or debt. Like others have suggested, I would just lie. I like to tell people I'm there because I have triplets and seventeen possible fathers, so I need extra cash to hire Dog the bounty hunter to track them down and force them to go on The Maury Show, so I can finally know who my baby daddy be and make him pay up. That, and my raging smack addiction keeps my bank account pretty low, and a girl has got to eat somehow, you know?

    The few times I've been honest and said why I strip (because I'm a writer and poetry doesn't pay and the 9-5 kills my soul), I've been challenged. "Yeah, you write? TELL ME A POEM THEN!" I know basically everything I've ever written by heart, but it's a little awkward to recite one of your own poems half-naked in a club...

    On a related note and just as a last thought though I know you're not looking for someone to tell you what to do, you said you like to write, so if you get tired of dancing (or tired of being retired) and want to share my dreams, you could always finish an undergrad and then go on to get your MFA or PhD in a creative writing concentration (fiction or poetry usually), because if you're accepted into those programs, you don't have to "pay" for your education. You teach undergrad lit and writing classes and they give you a stipend, then you'd be eligible for a variety of positions, from teaching at colleges or other places to editing and the like.

  31. #24
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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    ^^^I used to tell customers I'm writing a book, and need funding to self publish...which is 100% true! But then, I just felt so "wrong" sharing such a personal part of myself.

    Dancers were not only confused, but actually angry with me when I first started, because I worked 40 hours a week and didn't "need" to dance. So, yes, there was a time when I would just ramble on about some bullshit college and struggling to pay and blah blah blah. I'll probably go back to doing that; it just sounds so cliche after a while.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Default Re: "Ha! Dream on, you cute little dumbass!"

    A degree is not worth it unless you have surplus income to simply spend on doing it for fun, or your employer is putting you through it. It rarely leads directly to relevant employment, and most graduates are still not working in their field of study even 5 years down the line. I say this as someone who attended an extremely prestigious university, and graduated with a top class honours degree. I have never used that piece of paper! I can count on one hand the number of times I have been asked to provide proof of my education, and the number of times it has been brought up in an interview. I was very successful in the field i chose to go into (sales) and made a lot of money while working my way up the corporate ladder alongside school leavers with no degree and no experience, all of whom were offered the same opportunities for advancement. Degrees are merely another commercial product driven by political greed, that just about anyone can buy.

    I say don't give a crap what anyone else says of your plans. If you have your head on right, and you know how you're gonna make it work, then stick to your guns. If you do feel you need to go back into work, you are not restricted to the non-adult 9-5 grind. In the meantime, i second the above when talking to custies - just lie. They don't really give a crap anyway, and i'm sure you constantly maintain a facade while working anyway, so just consider your "education" as part of this.

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