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Thread: Worthless

  1. #1
    Senior Member thatgirl2011's Avatar
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    Sad Worthless

    This is how I feel. I feel like I'm just a worthless person taking up space in this world. I just feel like things won't ever get better because of my financial situation. I decided to trying camming to make money because I can't find an outside job to pay the bills. I am back in school but won't graduate for awhile and in the mean time I have to support myself and my son. I want to thank all the those that responded to my post about getting started camming and I finally got set up with MFC and I'm awaiting approval from SM and hope to get started in the next few days. I am hoping that between camming and working as a PSO I will be able to pay the rent and support myself and my son. I got a 5 day notice from my landlord but thankfully my mother stepped in and paid my rent for December even though her money is tight so I just have to concentrate on January's rent. I am crying as a type this b/c I just feel horrible about my life b/c I know I should be further ahead than I am. I can't even get my son a gift for Christmas and that really hurts me. Christmas will come and go and he will get nothing. He's 15 and he doesn't ask for much and the little he wants I can't get. I can't even afford the basics like underwear and shoes. I won't tell my age b/c its embarrassing to be my age and not have anything. I don't even have furniture in my apartment and just a few weeks ago my son and I were sleeping on the floor until my mother bought us beds. I hope that camming can help me financially though I am really nervous about being on cam because I'm fat and don't know if I will do well. I am willing to try though b/c I have no other options. I just want to be happy and take care of my son the way he should be taken care of. Being dirt poor has affected us horribly and has caused my son to be depressed. At the age of 15 I hear him and see him cry and guys that age normally don't cry so I know he's hurting. Thank you for letting come here and vent about my problems. I don't have anyone to talk to about this and sometimes it's hard keeping it bottled up inside.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Annastasi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    (( internet hugs))

    I know what you're going through, money problems can be devastating. I've lived without electricity and eaten out of free boxes, terrified that I would be homeless and coming damn close.

    Can you check out any charities for Christmas gifts? Or maybe make him something, even a card? It's effort that shows that you care. I know it sounds cheesy but some of my most cherished gifts have been little handmade doohickeys from friends and family that were just as broke as me.

    Chin up, darling. I don't know much about camming, but put on a smile and fake that confidence until you make it. Men aren't nearly as picky as you think, and I'm sure you're lovely anyway. Things can only get better. Be proud of yourself that you're taking steps to help yourself and your son.

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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Sorry to hear that, you gotta get out of that mind frame though. Success is not going to just come to you, you gotta attract it, and negative feelings about yourself will just bring more negative results. Being poor isn't the end all of everything and you're acting like it is, which is probably why your son may be a little depressed. Nothing makes me more depressed than seeing my mom in a destitute position. You gotta show him everything is fine, even if it's not. Maybe you can't get him a material present for christmas, but you can do a lot of free things to make it a special xmas for him. Maybe like, go ice skating, window shopping, make a nice dinner etc. I didnt get an xmas present some years cuz we were poor too, and i really didnt give a shit. It hurt me more to see me mom feel bad, then to not get a present.

    Sometimes i feel like man, i should be a lot further too...but whatever. There's no timeline for life. You have to live in the now, you cant keep thinking, i should be here, i should have this. Be happy with where you're at and what you have, your family, etc.. Besides you just got your rent paid and are just now starting camming, this could be very successful and change your life. You should be excited, plus 15 is legal age to work.

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  6. #4
    Newbie AnaisaLovely's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    please stay positive and make this work for you. dont feel ugly because there is someone for everyone. I am 240. I have never been this big and I am camming because people like big girls...whoop whoop. you can make this work for you. ((hugs)) read motivating stories and quotes. I am doing this in hopes to save my grandparents house. be proud of what it is that you do. this will all turn around. 2012 can be your year. <3


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    Featured Member bubblegumbitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    i just wanted to give you ((((((hugs))))) and i am very sorry to hear that you are in such despair. i know what it feels like to be at the end of ur rope. hell i have even been evicted from a place, with my personal belongings having been thrown out by the dumpster. it really sux, but keep ur chin up sweetie. it will get better. very glad to know ur rent has been paid for this month. so you have all this month to really bust ass with camming. since you just signed up with mfc, i suggest you bust ass on there and take advantage of that new girl status and work alot of hours on cam. sm can take a very long time before you can actually start working on there, so don't wait for sm to start working. look up all the mfc threads you can find and read them and learn to up ur game from them. u say ur big girl and don't think you will do well, i will tell you that, that is NOT true. ALOT of men LOVE BBWs and will spend LOTS of money on you. it's doesn't even matter that your older either, LOTS of men love a cougar. take advantage of ur niche cuz it is gold. go to that happy place that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside and that will shine on cam and guys will fall in love with you. i know its hard cuz u feel so shitty right now, but we are all here for eachother for emotional support. i am rooting for you and you will make it, you just gotta fight for it and not give up. if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a pm

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    Default Re: Worthless

    look stop being so negative, even though things are tough right now think about how youll be financially stable in the future, and maybe right now you can't give your son much, but if you work hard enough and work enough hours camming you will have enough! Hey when i was younger my mom was poor as hell, and she couldnt buy me the things i wanted, and u know what i didnt hate her for it, what mattered to me was that she tried her hardest to help me out, shit money doesnt go on trees. i dont appreciate my mom by how much money she gave me or toys, it may have seemed that way when i was a kid, but as i grew up i realize how much she busted her as for me, and it doesnt matter now, how i was pissed at her cuz she couldnt buy me that barbie doll that i wanted at age 13. lol girl just work your hardest, and cam your ass off! work on streamate for at least 5 hours a day. and pretty soon the money will start rolling in. remember tho rome wasnt built in a day. but just keep thinking positive and in a few weeks things will be wayyy better. happy holidays!

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  11. #7
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Yep, it seems we all been there, I know I have, & still am..but it's getting better, & will for you too! Good luck hun, it'll work for you


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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  13. #8
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    Default Re: Worthless

    oh and the thing about you saying your "fat" idk what you look like, but (1) big girls make alot of money in this industry, just as much as the skinny girls. (2) dont be so hard on yourself, your beautiful if you BELIEVE that your beautiful, weight has nothing to do with it. its all about how you carry yourself. remember confidence is sexy! so remember if you keep calling yourself "fat" then thats what you will be, but if you call yourself a sexy ass bbw. then you will make bank!
    not every guys wants a super skinny girl, if they did then alot of us cam girls wouldnt be making jackshit, including me lol
    “The mind is everything. What you think you become.”

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  15. #9
    Veteran Member nadia29's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    BIG HUGS! I wish I could make things better for you. You are NOT worthless! You ARE precious! Stay strong.

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  17. #10
    Featured Member MistyRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    I'm really sorry you're having a hard time. Please try to remember something that's important - everyone has tough moments. Everyone. I promise you there isn't a person in this world who didn't have a horrible time at some point in their life.

    I really feel for you - poverty is like a hole you feel you'll never get out from. My family has been very wealthy and then dirt poor - and while I was never a spoiled child and never cared for the things money buys you, I can assure you being broke and worrying about things like "what will I eat today" "how will I pay rent before I get evicted" "where do I get money to buy a new pair of socks" has made me painfully aware how important it is to have your basic needs met...and that means money. Your son is old enough to understand the situation you're in - my brothers are younger than me and we have never resented our parents not being able to buy us presents for Christmas or birthdays. Quite frankly, even when we were very wealthy, we didn't do the whole wrapped presents shebang, we'd just get something extra that we wanted and asked for around special occasions. I don't think your son will blame you and if he's anything like me and my siblings are, he probably feels sorry that you're in a bad situation and wishes he could help. Make a nice dinner, as much as your current finances allow you, bake cookies or simply make him a card. Small things count too. In fact, this may be an opportunity for you two to grow closer.

    Camming can be a fantastic opportunity to help pull you out of this - but please make sure it's something you really want to do and are comfortable with all the cons as well as pros. My situation when I started wasn't splendid, but I took half a year to really think about this. As a result, I entered the job with my boundaries firmly planted and fully aware of what am I getting into.

    In your post, what I see as problematic is the lack of self confidence (which I can understand). You're fat. So what? I could stand to lose 25 pounds. I still have guys who adore the way I look and are shelling out money to tell me so. You're certainly not worthless - if you go into camming thinking you're worthless, you'll get eaten alive. You're there to sell: how would you feel selling a product you feel is completely worthless? You wouldn't be very convicing! HOWEVER you look - there's men out there who'll think you're gorgeous. Mainstream perfect? True, that sells best, that'll always sell. But people forget there's a variety of guys out there who like a variety of women. Guys who like model types are not the only ones who have money and like porn.

    Whatever you do - good luck. I hope you'll find yourself in a better place soon.
    Just a final note - something I ran into the other day and we should all remember:



  18. #11
    Veteran Member Crustyz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    I know what you're going through. Situations like these are extremely devastating and tough. You just have to be strong and hold your head high, while knowing you can do it. This is what I tell myself everyday before I cam, while putting on my makeup. It raises my confidence ten-fold. I never stop dreaming about the life I could have, or should have. This helps me also.

    You gotta try and do your best. Put on a emotionally blank/happy mask, so no one can tell what you're going through. If they see that you're sad or upset, they'll keep hitting that weak spot to make you hurt even more. Never let them see this side of you.

    Don't ever feel you are worthless. I can tell you I've felt this way many times, but it has never gotten me anywhere.

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  20. #12
    Veteran Member nadia29's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Why don't you signup with daily pay? PM Princess Jenny or write to her at [email protected] and see if she can help you get approved faster at SM and AW.

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  22. #13
    Member BettyBallistic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    I quit a very steady and well-paying job to go to school. Once I quit, one thing after another happened, and before I knew it, I was in a ton of debt, late on my rent, and things were piling up at a faster speed than I would have ever imagined. I've been really nervous and discouraged about it, but slowly I am starting to get caught up. I still have a long way to go, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am a bigger girl, and I still do pretty well. I have regulars that love me and gain more every day that I get on cam. Don't let your weight or your appearance discourage you from getting on, having a good time, and making money. The opportunity is there no matter how big you are, you just have to want it bad enough to go out and take it by the balls.

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  24. #14
    Senior Member ImpossiblePrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Chin up girl! Money problems suck but luckily even on the low end camming pays well. Don't let MFC get you down...its probably the hardest site to get started on, but that's because the earning potential is so high.

    And there is no such thing as "too fat" for camming. All guys are into different things, and they're willing to pay for it

    |

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  26. #15
    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    We all go through tough times....
    If you can get to the library and pick up "The Secret". plus the section on SW hustle hut & such.

    Be determined to work your way out of this. My stubborn streak has helped me get out of debt before and bad situations.

    Then fake a happy go lucky attitude till you make it.

    Write down positive affirmations & place them all over the place for you & your son to read.

    Be a team with him to be successful in life.

    Good Luck,
    Sam

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  28. #16
    Veteran Member JuliAnne333's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    I find when I get in the mindset of "whoa is me", I think of things that ARE going right in my life. Things I am grateful for. Depression is a real illness and very tough. If you are not seeing a therapist or psychiatrist and getting medication (if needed) you might want to check into counselors who will do a sliding scale fee for you.

    My son became mentally ill while in college (depression and schizophrenia) his sophomore year. He had to come home and take a year off. Being self employed and divorced, I didn't have insurance to send him to a Dr (we didn't know what was wrong with him at the time, but when it came out that he had *imaginary people* telling him to do things he knew were wrong, we knew he was in a bad way) so I did some research and found a psychiatrist and counselor who based his visit fee on his income ($11 a visit for the counselor and $25 for the psychiatrist) so he could get help. He also got help with his medications, so the 2 he was taking that would have cost over $400 a month were only $30 a month. Who knows what he may have ended up doing if he didn't get help. He graduated college and is now teaching in a major university and a grad student at the same school. All I am saying is that there IS help out there, you just have to seek out the resources in your community.

    Camming isn't going to be a fast way to make a buck either. It will take time and dedication to score regulars who will basically be your bread and butter. The other *drive bys* will just be icing on the cake. Always treat the guys who visit you regularly (even if they aren't spending that day) like kings! They will reward you for it!

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  30. #17
    God/dess Nikki_Fox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Please dont beat yourself up - alot of us in the sex industry have been in some type of bad situation that brings us here - you can make it out of this - dont overthink your age or looks - most men are not as picky as they let on and there is a market for all different types - based on what you said the suggestion by Nadia is a great idea - it would put money in your pocket right away and she may be able to get your Streamate approval quicker - dont get discouraged if you dont make alot right away - just keep working it and it will come - I have never worked MFC but if that site does not work for you dont quit - some people do better on different sites - you have found a great support system here - KEEP THE FAITH -

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  32. #18
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    Default Re: Worthless

    I agree with the ladies on here. Of course you're not worthless. Reading your post, I was like "dang we've been through similar things". My grandmother had to pay my rent at one point and my loved ones didn't know what a Christmas gift was from me. It's not the end of the world. Focus on what you do have which is a month of paid rent so you can be worry-free until January. Now you can work with a clear mind.

    I will add that camming is not fast or easy money and you will have bad days. I only said that to say if for any reason you don't make a lot of money immediately, do not take it personally. The prettiest, slimmest girls have bad days. Also there will be jerks online who take cheap shots. I know you feel like you're fat and guys may not like you but most guys will adore you. There is a huge market for BBW girls. Trust me I know. But you will also encounter jerks who take cheap shots and play on your insecurities. Please don't let that get to you or make you feel like you're not good enough. You absolutely are and will do just fine. I've found no matter what I encounter in camming, the good always weighs the bad as long as I work consistently. So for every asshole you encounter, you'll have way more guys who will really like you.

    When I have a bad day financially, I always tell myself "I guess i'm just too much to handle today" or "the assholes can't afford me today". Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong or that something is wrong with you. Whatever it takes for you to feel better and go online and make this money, do it. Work 8 hours a day, 7 days a week if you can. The more you see that number going up, the better you will feel. I truly hope things get better for you.

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    Default Re: Worthless

    Someone had mentioned a link to the movie The Secret. Here is the link I use.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNyytBlDd30

    This movie and the actual book have helped me out a lot. Enjoy.

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  36. #20
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    Default Re: Worthless

    You know what book has helped me change my mood and the way I think about my life and how I want to live it. "Awaken The Giant Within"....honestly I was in a position last year . "The Secret"...very very very important that you check these two out, if you dont...ur life is never gunna get better...promise you that! Stay positive, and dont be ashamed to ask for help when you truly need it.

    Welcome to Stripper Web, make that money ***Hugz****
    Last edited by CinnimonKiss; 07-05-2013 at 09:23 AM.

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  38. #21
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    Default Re: Worthless

    I find this post hard to believe.
    Actually I do no believe it.

  39. #22
    God/dess Sam38g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    On days when I am feeling that my ass is fatter, I stick it right into the cam. Let them worship my fat ass. Works everytime, makes me love it too.

    Smooches,
    Sam

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  41. #23
    Senior Member thatgirl2011's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Ty everyone for the encouraging words I do feel better and more hopeful

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  43. #24
    Senior Member thatgirl2011's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Quote Originally Posted by Fridays View Post
    I fi.nd this post hard to believe.
    Actually I do no believe it.

    I don't know why you find my post hard to believe but I really don't care. I wouldn't come here lying about my situation.

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  45. #25
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    Default Re: Worthless

    Quote Originally Posted by thatgirl2011 View Post
    I don't know why you find my post hard to believe but I really don't care. I wouldn't come here lying about my situation.
    As with anything in life, just focus on the positive not the negative. If people don't believe you, that's on them. Just focus on allllllll the encouraging positive posts and getting yourself together and taking care of your son.

    Nothing else even matters.

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