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Thread: Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant

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    Default Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant

    Ok. Long story short, I signed up as a minister on an online church website so I could joke that I could officiate marriages a few years ago. Even considered doing it when dc allowed gay marriage and they needed people to officiate all the marriages that were gonna happen.

    Anyway.

    My buddy and his fiancé are getting married in May and have asked me to officiate cuz I said I'd do it for 20 bucks and some food lol.

    But now I'm getting nervous about what to say. I don't want to back out on them cuz they don't have a lot of money to hire an experienced person.

    So I was planning on talking about beauty/ugliness and the struggles of making a relationship work and how hard it will be and through that sort of struggle you can find beauty... Then was going to end by saying how there are no two people more beautiful than them, and no two people more ready to take on the challenge.

    Now I do have married friends but they all got married in a pretty traditional fashion--church or Buddhist or whatever.

    Do you think I should play it simple or do u think the subject of my speech or whatever is too cynical or sentimental or something else?

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    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant

    You should ask the couple what they think lol. It definetly shouldnt be a surprise what youre gonna get up there and say!
    "We are the coolest mothafuckas on the planet....The sky is fallin ain't no need to panic"... -Outkast

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    Default Re: Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant

    Yeah... I know but I kind of wanted to keep them nervous. I've been telling them I was going to steal the minister scene from princess bride.

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    Veteran Member SteveSmith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant

    It sounds too cynical. You're basically saying relationships suck and are a struggle but if you work through it you can find beauty. It's not what they want to hear on their wedding day. Keep it short and sweet and positive.

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    Default Re: Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant


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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant

    I would definitely go over a rough sketch of hat you want to say.
    I don't necessarily see that message as cynical. But I would
    frame it as experiences gained without a struggle are not as
    respected and enjoyed as those not easily won. And that they
    willbe like two people climbing a mountain, they will need to work tegether,
    not leave the other behind, allow the other to face their fears and
    challenge their own personal obstables with their spouse offering
    support, and a helping hand. Sometimes, one person will have a better
    view of the path and they will have to have the trust between them that
    will allow one to guide the other from time to time.

    I once saw a piece of marriage advice from a priest that said
    marriage is not a fifty-fifty relationship and if you expect it to be,
    you will fail. Both people need to be willing to give one hundred percent
    so that should their spouse (or themselves)not be able to give as much to the
    relationship, say from sickness, or stress, or worry, the spouse can pick up the slack
    and carry them rough the troubling time. And in return, the spouse with return
    the favor when it comes time that their mate cannot give 100%.

    In te mountain climbing metaphor, occasionally one spouse will have to carry not
    only their own burdens but those of their spouse, and perhaps their spouse as well.
    Fidelity, loyalty, faith, and inner strength all play a part in this.

    And through this struggle, they will have moments of pleasureand pain,
    giddiness and euphoria, boredome and bonecrushing weariness. And
    they will have beauty, at the top of the mountain and all along the way, because
    even when they cannot physically see their mate, they will feel their presence helping them
    up and onward, supporting them, and even occasionally giving them a much needed
    kick in the pants.


    You can use any human against nature metaphor. There's a path in Spain that's a few hundred miles
    in length, that Catholic pilgrims do so you could use that depending on the imagery
    you want to paint.

    I would also call on the audience to help support their marriage in times of stress because
    our society is getting so non-village like in wanting to know the sensationalistic crap but
    hardly helping two people without fanning the flames of discord. Plus audiences like
    to be included and you can even make it funny by asking the audience, if THEY solemnly swear to give the
    Couple kicks in the pants if they're being stubborn and bullheaded. If they pledge to bring casserole
    dishes of unidentified comfort food in times of woe, and pledge to celebrate their triumphs
    with them as well.

    Because I think that'd make a really strong basis for a marriage. Notpeople butting in
    but being able to lean on others or ask advice to help with the marriage.

    My boyfriend who I consider my husband, has PTSD and there's going to always be things
    I don't understand because I don't have PTSD. Even though I've read about it and have known
    people with it, I don't have it, and even if I did it would display differently.
    Anyway, I text with one of his buddies and ovcadionally sty at his family's house when I'm
    passing through town. there's a scond buddy who I don't talk to, but I know that I could
    ask pretty much any favor and because they are so strongly linked to my boyfriend they
    would do whatever they could to assist me if it was for a good reason.
    I've even had to call the first friebd and ak him to keep a close phone "eye" on my
    boyfriend because I knew there was something really bothering him PTSD-wisethat I couldn't
    help with. We tell each other everything but sometimes, as much as we want to, we cannot
    give our spouses what they need. So the best thing we can do is attempt to find them the
    help they need, even if it might be a blow to our ego because we can't be our partner's "everything."
    It's more important that they have our support.

    That's not the best way of describing how the friends and family need to pledge their support as well,
    but it's the closest I can. Feel free to pillage my metaphor or phrases if they'll help you

    Bonus points if you can fit in pop culture references to things theyboth love.
    For example, my boyfriend and I both love Walking Dead, so instead of a mountain
    reference, we'd probably love a zombie apocalypse story of strength and devotion but
    like people have said, talk to the couple.
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone Married? Q About Your Officiant

    Sorry for heinous typos. on my phone and will try to clean up later.
    Ungoogle yourself:


    Also, now offering phone sexins!

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