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Thread: Absolutely HATE my manager

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Absolutely HATE my manager

    This is an overdue rant, so beware!

    When I started at a club in my hometown, I was warned that the night manager is a total dickwad. When I met him, he seemed nice enough and I was on his good side. I left, came back, and now I totally see what everyone's been talking about.

    Ok, just to make this clear, I allow customers to touch my legs, back arms and stomach. No boobies, no booty....unless they pay very well, and that's neither here nor there. So he walks into the couch room every so often to check on people and make sure there's nothing funny going on. One night, he wanders back and finds a gentleman stroking the tops of my thighs....no where NEAR any inappropriate area. He pulled me out of the damn dance and told me, "remember the customers aren't allowed to touch you, sweetie!" Luckily I'd gotten my money upfront, but lost out on the potential repeat customer.

    Second incident....I had an excessively clingy man who liked a lot of affection. Like, a LOT. It was actually really disgusting to be in the presence of such a fucking love sick, pathetic little puppy dog, but that's because I'm an asshole. Anyway. In the middle of the dance, this VERY large man wraps his arms around me, squeezes tight and sucks on my neck/plays with my nipples. Something I do NOT allow. The manager, we'll call him Frank, comes in. I thought, "oh, thank God! It's Frank!"
    ......he stands there, looking smug, and watches the entire thing happening, until the dance finally ends and he pretty much drags me off of this guy's lap and into his office. There, he calls me a prostitute, accuses me of letting "gross assholes touch me," tells me I wouldn't be able to make decent money if I wasn't doing "extras," (I'm not) and threatens to fire me if it happens again.......if WHAT happens again??? I wasn't dancing 3 feet away from him, but I most certainly wasn't doing extras, and a fair amount of grinding is permitted!

    Since then, he's been pretty much following my every damn move. Swell. Threatened to fire me again, because my vajay accidentally popped out on stage. ACCIDENTALLY, during a pole trick. Threatened to fire me for putting my legs on a custy's shoulders, even though he said it was allowed at one point. This is a full contact club, and yet he bitches at me for rubbing my tits in some guy's face.

    He's constantly ridiculing my hair, outfits and makeup, which are not extraordinary OR bland...typical dancing outfits, within good taste.

    Yanked me out of a dance for doing a headstand in some guy's lap.....which did ruin my money and he'd never told me it wasn't allowed before.

    Fined me $25 for standing on the chairs....even though I had no shoes on.

    Wouldn't let me go home when I was fucking puking in the bathroom, because he said I was drunk. I don't drink at work.

    Insisted that I stay until close, although I'd worked 8 hours...we're only required to work 6.

    Thank GOD I'm leaving there in 2 weeks.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    AT least the "ASSHOLE" part is ACCURATE !!

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    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    wow...

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    Featured Member Addison's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    Based on what you've described, I think I like the guy..

    A lot of managers simply don't give a f***. "Frank" seems like he's trying to run a clean club. Good job, Frank.

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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    A few things.

    First of all, I understand being physically overpowered. That being said- why didn't you initially read the customer and assess how to manage your risk?if he held you down, why didn't you yell or shout at him? Even though I'm not dancing anymore, I had an Indian customer try to hold me down and kiss me last month. I shouted at him, shoved him off of me, and asked the GM to throw him out.

    Secondly, if he didn't explain the rules extensively that is his bad. BUT- I wouldn't allow headstands either, or putting legs over customers shoulders. Those positions to me carry too much risk for them to get abusive or carried away. Standing on chairs, we don't allow climbing on the furniture either.

    As for your vag popping out, you know your anatomy best and should dress accordingly. Him ridiculing your outfits and hair though, isn't cool.
    Obviously none of us were there for the puking or know your schedule so can't comment on that. I'm simply being pragmatic and a lot of these problems are avoidable.

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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    Oh! I'm also confused because you said "Frank" told you no touching, but you say this is a full contact club?

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    A few things.

    First of all, I understand being physically overpowered. That being said- why didn't you initially read the customer and assess how to manage your risk?if he held you down, why didn't you yell or shout at him? Even though I'm not dancing anymore, I had an Indian customer try to hold me down and kiss me last month. I shouted at him, shoved him off of me, and asked the GM to throw him out.

    My first reaction was complete and utter surprise. Second was somewhat involuntary wiggling. Third was, "hey, get the F off me, buddy!" which was when Frank walked in, watched the whole thing, and my utter surprise reaction returned, but this time toward a manager who did nothing to interrupt the scene.

    How, exactly, am I supposed to accurately assess the risk level of each customer? Yeah, some of them are creepy and just icky, but perfectly respectful. The ones that I'm REALLY afraid of are the ones that are super nice and catch you by surprise.....oh, like this guy.

    Secondly, if he didn't explain the rules extensively that is his bad. BUT- I wouldn't allow headstands either, or putting legs over customers shoulders. Those positions to me carry too much risk for them to get abusive or carried away. Standing on chairs, we don't allow climbing on the furniture either.

    He explained the rules quite simply: customers cannot touch you, but you may touch them. No fucking, no sucking, no handjobs. Reasonable level of contact is allowed on stage. He also explained a $25 fine would be issued IF you climb into the chairs with your shoes on, which very clearly underlined "no shoes on chairs."
    I don't mind that he doesn't allow him in the club; that's not my complaint. But trying to fine me or threatening to fire me is a bit ridiculous, since he never said anything about not allowing them.

    As for your vag popping out, you know your anatomy best and should dress accordingly. Him ridiculing your outfits and hair though, isn't cool.
    Obviously none of us were there for the puking or know your schedule so can't comment on that. I'm simply being pragmatic and a lot of these problems are avoidable.

    That's honestly the first time that's ever happened to me. Could've been from wearing a different style of undies, trying a new trick, or just an "oopsie."

    I'm not even saying he's entirely wrong in most of this...except for bits and pieces. Of course problems are avoidable. But must he jump down my throat over every.single.problem? Or at the very least, being the first time he's ever mentioned or brought it up, maybe not be such a total dick about it. Or very, very clearly emphasize every rule, since he obviously has plenty of them. When I first started, I swear, it was a brief "here's what you can't do, now go dance."

    Not to mention these "rules" seem to only apply when he's in a less than chipper mood.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Oh! I'm also confused because you said "Frank" told you no touching, but you say this is a full contact club?
    Exactly. Day 1, I ask "what's the level of contact allowed during couch dances and such?" He says, "this is a full contact club. You should expect lap grinding and to touch the customers on stage, at the very least." Does not go on to explain any further.

    Later changes this policy to "customers can't touch you, but you can touch them."

    Still threatens to fire me due to grinding in a customer's lap.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    I used to always consider the clingy guys high risk. They are desperate for the contact, so are the ones who push for it and can be unpredictable, especially if you add alcohol. There's no perfect science to it, but I have to say I was very accurate at reading customers.

    I agree that threatening to fire you is extreme. A gentle reminder or explanation is the logical first step. I think a lot of managers forget that it's easier to treat the girls with kindness and patience. I'm not saying be a pushover, but there's a lot to be said for firm but fair.

    Sounds like Frank has burnout and is exasperated. Stop allowing the touching (however innocuous) if he's saying one way contact. It isn't easy to work in a strip club, no matter your position.

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    Senior Member Gracefulways's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    he has it in for you. it sounds like there is definitely some confusion with the rules in your club but he is choosing to lay them on you thick. when it gets to this point its best to just leave and save yourself the stress.
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

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    Veteran Member Farrah_Golden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    Eh....the person he decides to let have it varies night by night. Tonight, he walked up to a girl on stage and told her she "might as well quit, before she costs him more money" because she wasn't getting stage tips. Told her he could put a girl up there that would BANK off of stage tips alone....not something I understand, since the club doesn't get a cut of stage tips.

    He looked like he WANTED to find a reason to bitch me out when I was lounging and talking to a regular for maybe 15 or 20 minutes....that regular pays for my time. But Frank stood there with his arms crossed and gave me a look that said "either make money or get up," and then walked away. Idk, I'm assuming he's burnt the fuck out, because when he's in a decent mood, he's sweet as pie/lets a lot of shit slide.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    Maybe an anonymous letter to the other managers at the club- explain that the girls are feeling victimisedby the changing rule system. Do you think calling him out or asking for him to explain the rules again to you all in a meeting because they seem to have changed since your recruitment.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




  14. #13
    Senior Member Gracefulways's Avatar
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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Golden View Post
    Eh....the person he decides to let have it varies night by night. Tonight, he walked up to a girl on stage and told her she "might as well quit, before she costs him more money" because she wasn't getting stage tips. Told her he could put a girl up there that would BANK off of stage tips alone....not something I understand, since the club doesn't get a cut of stage tips.

    He looked like he WANTED to find a reason to bitch me out when I was lounging and talking to a regular for maybe 15 or 20 minutes....that regular pays for my time. But Frank stood there with his arms crossed and gave me a look that said "either make money or get up," and then walked away. Idk, I'm assuming he's burnt the fuck out, because when he's in a decent mood, he's sweet as pie/lets a lot of shit slide.
    Oh yeah he sounds like a disaster with a major chip on his shoulder. I knew a manager like that once who told my friend should couldn't wear white any more. When she asked him why he said, "have you looked in the mirror lately? your fat and wearing white makes it worse!" lol what an idiot. I think your right he is probably brunt out and been managing for too long or just wanting to run a tighter ship.
    Anyway, dont worry your leaving soon in 2 weeks and then your be free of it.
    I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

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    Default Re: Absolutely HATE my manager

    There are far too many managers and even club owners who get off on their power ego trips. If say something gong wrong n their lives ull treat girls who rnt in their "favs" like shit. Seems to happen more often at the clubs where dancers r expendable bc so many come and go they can get away with treating girls like crap. There is a manager I know of right now who I consider a dbag to me...And bc of that Im hesistant to go back. I always go back to get new exposure around guys who dont usually frequent my main bars, but after a little while Im reminded of why I always leave. Too many hands outreached wanting house fees and to be tipped out w not enough money coming in for the times I can work there. I know I will have to have a heart to heart w the guy and see if we can get along and iron crap out..If he cant treat me w respect hell< I have already gone over his head before but this time Im gonna bring it to him. Believe it or not around here there r actually bars that exist w no house fees. I tend to stick to those clubs but I feel its good to rotate..Just moneys bad around here as a whole right. There r very select good nights at work at any club..

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