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Thread: Txting Customers

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    Default Txting Customers

    I need your guy’s advice, or help in regards to my gf. At the club my gf works they started to let the girls give out there phone nr to customers if they want, which I think is a good thing, as this way they can stay in touch with the customer and ask if they want to come and so on. When she told me this I told her that is good, and that this way she can make them feel special and want to come back. My gf is doing this, and she not hiding it from me as she leaves her phone out, and tells me what she writes if I ask, she does this so that I know she not hiding anything. And I know that she write them thinks like “ miss you, and hope to see you soon”, “ I have been thinking about you too”, and so on. And off course this will make the customers want to come back and spend more time with her. My only concern was that she also calls them “baby” which is what she always calls me! And she told me once that this was very special to her and that it has special meaning to her, So when I saw that she called her customer “baby” I felt a bit hurt, I have not said anything to her about this as I feel that she would feel that I don’t trust her or that I am spying on her, and I don’t want that.
    So should I confront her or should I just let it be, I know that I am her only true “baby”☺. but still, I mean should I sit down with her and have a talk with her in regards to what she should not txt customers about and thinks like this, but I feel that would be more SOOO wrong and this would make her realy feel that I am trying to control her which is the last thing I want. So what do you think!, should I just leave it? Or should I say something?

    PLEASSSS don’t over analyze this, like some of you have don in the past on some my post!! It is a simple question

    Thanks for your help

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    I understand why it makes you uncomfortable, but I would really forget about it and not worry about it. "Baby" is just the most common thing to call someone you're flirting with. She can't really call her customers "sweetie" and "dear" or "cupcake." "Baby" is the only thing that works. It's a very common endearment - it's not like she's using some special pet name that she came up with just for you. "Baby" is kind of a "sacred" word for me too, just because I hate being called it and I hate saying it, but I don't mind calling my bf baby or him calling me baby. He's the only one that really gets away with it. But, ultimately, that word is going to be thrown around a lot in any SC, so you can't avoid it, and trying to would be a headache.

    You say you know that you're her only true "baby" so just remember that and let her keep doing her job and acting for the customers. She's already being very open with you about everything - you don't want to put her in a position where she feels like she has to choose between maximizing her earnings at her job and being honest with you about her interactions with customers because she's afraid it'll make you uncomfortable if she shares with you.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    OK, simple answer...

    Ignore it and say nothing. She's a dancer. It's a sales technique. Get over it and move on.
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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    I understand why it makes you uncomfortable, but I would really forget about it and not worry about it. "Baby" is just the most common thing to call someone you're flirting with. She can't really call her customers "sweetie" and "dear" or "cupcake." "Baby" is the only thing that works. It's a very common endearment - it's not like she's using some special pet name that she came up with just for you. "Baby" is kind of a "sacred" word for me too, just because I hate being called it and I hate saying it, but I don't mind calling my bf baby or him calling me baby. He's the only one that really gets away with it. But, ultimately, that word is going to be thrown around a lot in any SC, so you can't avoid it, and trying to would be a headache.

    You say you know that you're her only true "baby" so just remember that and let her keep doing her job and acting for the customers. She's already being very open with you about everything - you don't want to put her in a position where she feels like she has to choose between maximizing her earnings at her job and being honest with you about her interactions with customers because she's afraid it'll make you uncomfortable if she shares with you.
    Thank you for you input, and you are right I will just forget about it. as she is beeing very open with me about everything and that is more important then she is calling her customers for "baby".

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Try thinking of it this way.

    When she's in the club, she's an actress. She's performing just like any actress on any stage -- theater, movies, etc.

    It's all an act.

    The texting is part of that act. She's in her dancer "role" when interacting with customers, which is the only way she's going to get them back into the club. This is why Yoda called it a "sales technique."

    When you're dating a dancer, you're dating an actress. In fact, many of them are far better actresses than you'll ever see on any stage or screen.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimba71 View Post
    So what do you think!, should I just leave it? Or should I say something?

    PLEASSSS don’t over analyze this, like some of you have don in the past on some my post!! It is a simple question

    Thanks for your help

    I bet she is REALLY regretting her decision to confide in you and trust that you would not act like a 15 yr old girl on this issue. I dont see how she could have made it more clear to you that it is just work.

    Bottom line...its really none of your business...stay out of her phone.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Part of the sales end of the job is texting and or talking on the phone..just the way it goes. I will only regularly text those who come out regularly to see me I dont waste my time with most unless they r serious about coming out. It is the way we maintain contact with the people who pay our bills.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Kimba, you've now been on here several times questioning one thing or another that your GF is supposedly doing. Look, you either trust her or you don't. Dating a dancer is not for the insecure or thin skinned. Sorry to say it this way, but you need to either toughen up or consider whether this is right for you.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    I disagree with the general consensus, she can flirt it's her job but she doesn't "need" to call them baby and if it does bother you, you should be able to tell her and she should be able to understand that it has a specialing meaning to you.

    As corny as some people here might think or not understand, I get what he is saying and he seems very understanding an supportive, he should be able to bring this up to her and she doesn't need to call them baby.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Kimba, you've now been on here several times questioning one thing or another that your GF is supposedly doing. Look, you either trust her or you don't. Dating a dancer is not for the insecure or thin skinned. Sorry to say it this way, but you need to either toughen up or consider whether this is right for you.
    Yes because you've dated many dancers right?
    You speak from years of experience.

    I wouldn't compare paying someone to fuck you (which is all that you do) and dating a dancer.


    I honestly don't see why people here respect your opinion.

    You have a wife and kids and you constantly go to strip clubs and find whores who will fuck you outside of the club for cash and you hide it from them.

    You are a monster and you sit here and people "thank you" for your input

    You disgust me

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    When a stripper calls a customer "baby", it is 100% completely meaningless. It's stripper talk. I have called strange gay men and male relatives by accident "baby", bc I'm so use to saying it to every male customer. It was awkward. Lol.
    Anyhow, it is NOT the same "baby" we'd call our SO. At all! Most strippers say this to every customer. I understand the butthurt though, but trust me its not the same. Actually, trust her. Don't bring it up. It's smothering hustle talk.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    I give my number out sometimes.

    I am in regular contact with my favourite customer. My boyfriend is allowed to read the texts I send to him and knows about what we talk about. I even say sometimes "aww I love _____". It used to bother my boyfriend but I'm with him and not with my rich regular... yet. (jk.... or am I).
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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    My two cents - "baby" means nothing. Just like "Miss you", "Thinking about you", and "Hope to see you soon". Especially if she's using that pet name on every customer. I think the only time you need to worry is if you notice a heavy bias toward one customer - and not just simple 2-3 line texts, but uber-frequent, looooong drawn-out, soul-sharing conversations outside of the club. The signs of cheating are the same anywhere, dancer or non-dancer. It's not her stripper behaviors that should concern you. It's the NON-stripper behaviors that should raise red flags.

    Ok, all that being said, your relationship should be strong enough to casually bring it up if it really means life or death to you. I know that goes against the grain of what everyone else has been saying and I probably deserved to get flamed, but just as you need to understand how flirting is part of her job, she can also respect the reasonable boundaries you BOTH should agree on. Once those are set, you need to trust each other and back-off. That means no more second-guessing her once you've discussed it. You gotta know that hustle is hustle and trust that she loves you or else you'll always be looking over her shoulder. You'll self-fulfill the break-up that way.

    And wow, flower - where did that come from? What's up with the multiple personal attacks recently?

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Flower420 View Post
    Yes because you've dated many dancers right?
    You speak from years of experience.

    I wouldn't compare paying someone to fuck you (which is all that you do) and dating a dancer.


    I honestly don't see why people here respect your opinion.

    You have a wife and kids and you constantly go to strip clubs and find whores who will fuck you outside of the club for cash and you hide it from them.

    You are a monster and you sit here and people "thank you" for your input

    You disgust me
    See 420, this section is for customer conversation & he shares his prospective of that here. He, from what I've read doesn't go to the stripping section & pass out judgment.

    I will also post I don't go to clubs much anymore...I think I went twice this year & had a great time, so I'm not here to pat on the back or hand out "thanks" as you put it.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    When a dancer calls me "baby", it usually means she's forgotten my name.
    Really.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    toughen up kimba. trust your girl. you have no reason not to. she's working hard for the two of you.

    if you don't trust her, move on!

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Flower420 View Post
    Yes because you've dated many dancers right?
    You speak from years of experience.

    I wouldn't compare paying someone to fuck you (which is all that you do) and dating a dancer.


    I honestly don't see why people here respect your opinion.

    You have a wife and kids and you constantly go to strip clubs and find whores who will fuck you outside of the club for cash and you hide it from them.

    You are a monster and you sit here and people "thank you" for your input

    You disgust me
    I agree 100%.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Flower420 View Post
    Yes because you've dated many dancers right?
    You speak from years of experience.

    I wouldn't compare paying someone to fuck you (which is all that you do) and dating a dancer.


    I honestly don't see why people here respect your opinion.

    You have a wife and kids and you constantly go to strip clubs and find whores who will fuck you outside of the club for cash and you hide it from them.

    You are a monster and you sit here and people "thank you" for your input

    You disgust me
    So your theory is that a guy actually needs to date a dancer before he knows that coping with her job would require a thick skin? Seems like something that is pretty obvious. And the answer is no, I have not. I had a couple of opportunities when I was much younger, but I bailed out. Why? Because I already knew that I couldn't handle their jobs if things got serious, so the least I could do is not to waste their time or become a problem for them.

    And as far as the rest of that stuff goes, you don't know anything about the Dugan household and are in no position to judge what I do. For the same reasons, I think you'd also have a hard time finding a post where I criticize anyone's moral or lifestyle choices. So if you posted that snarky nonsense just because you don't like what you think you know about me and what I do, then too fucking bad.

    He posted this in Customer Conversation and I provided my opinion. The fact that he either needs to find a way to cope or move on also seemed pretty obvious and I stand by that comment, but if you disagree then perhaps you have an alternative theory that you'd like to share.
    Last edited by rickdugan; 12-23-2011 at 11:04 PM.

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  31. #20
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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    ^ Flower420 is absolutely right. If you have not dated an exotic dancer then you are basing your opinion on second hand information. A regular customer may know a great deal about a given stripper but her boy friend or husband is likely to know way more. It is common sense. It is not a rocket science.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Jeez what's up with the judgements? Its Christmas for fuck's sake.

    "Baby" is a pretty common term, like dude or ma'am.

    If he thinks its special, he can tell her he doesn't like it..but its not like its a special name or anything. For instance, my bf calls my his "monkey" and a few other funny pet names. If he was calling other women that, it would be one thing. But "baby", that isn't really a personal term...at least not in english speaking countries.

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    When a dancer calls me "baby", it usually means she's forgotten my name.
    Really.
    I love the south because everyone calls everyone "baby". Seriously - grown straight men will call each other "baby". It makes it easy for the likes of me who can never remember names
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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Baby...or "honey".

    Question to the OP..is she actually using the word "baby" or the equivalent of the word in your language? I don't remember right now but you're from somewhere in Scandinavia, right? Sweden, Denmark?

    Is "baby" a common usage over there?

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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by The Jackal View Post
    ^ Flower420 is absolutely right. If you have not dated an exotic dancer then you are basing your opinion on second hand information. A regular customer may know a great deal about a given stripper but her boy friend or husband is likely to know way more. It is common sense. It is not a rocket science.
    That's good because you are far from being a rocket scientist!

    Under you logic no one would be entitled to have an opinion about anything that they didn't have direct experience at. No opinions about politics if we were not politicians or about good food if we were not chefs or about war if we were not generals.. The fact is we are all entitled to an opinion about anything we like and, on a public forum, we are allowed to express it. It's an opinion, no one, least of all rick, is saying it's anything more than that.

    Flower 420's post is a shot at rick and at a type of dancer that she clearly disdains. While she is entitled to her opinion about the topic it's of no more value than rick's or anyone elses and, quite frankly, this isn't the place for her off topic diatribe against another poster.

    There seems to be a lot of that going around here lately...
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    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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  39. #25
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    Default Re: Txting Customers

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    Question to the OP..is she actually using the word "baby" or the equivalent of the word in your language? I don't remember right now but you're from somewhere in Scandinavia, right? Sweden, Denmark? Is "baby" a common usage over there?
    I had the same thought -- I think the OP is from Finland -- and English is widely spoken there.

    My guess is that it's not a cognate, of course, but the same diminutive (ласкательная форма) in Finnish, although it has a wildly more complex grammar.

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