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Thread: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Brilynne's Avatar
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    Default Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    Who else experiences identity crisis, even mildly, because of camming?
    I always was in kind of a grey area, but ever since my IRL best friend starting interacting with me on my camgirl twitter I've been giving this a lot of thought.

    My online persona and who I am offline are two completely different people..When I go online, I get in character, even if I'm only doing something as basic as tweeting. But more and more I find roles switched around; my online self bleeding into my offline self to the point of taking over entirely. It's an issue that's been growing especially with all the time I spend on SW anymore. It get's confusing, sharing my IRL self's thoughts and dilemmas, while operating under my online identity. Or maybe I'm the only one who has a different personality on cam..idk.

    I'm really just looking to see if this is only me or if anyone else can relate and, if so, how you handle it.
    If it turns out I'm not the only one I may share some deeper thoughts on the issue, but I'd like to know first if I'm just crazy.
    ~We Be Hustlin', Bitches Be Hatin'~





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  3. #2
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    I haven't really experienced what you're describing-my on and off-line personas are pretty similar
    What I'm wondering though, is what effect the intermingling between the two is having upon you...like, does it feel wrong or uncomfortable to you?
    The reason I ask is that regardless of our online-persona and how accurately it corresponds to our off-cam self, it's natural to be impacted by our job, or any job towards which we dedicate alot of time and energy. I know my off-cam self has been impacted by my experiences on cam in a variety of really positive ways, but I understand that this is slightly different than what you're experiencing, where two completely different personas are converging

    This thought popped into my head when I was reading your OP...You've been incredibly open about sharing different aspects of your life here on sw, and I'm guessing with your customers as well...is it easier to talk about some of the things you've been grappling with when it's 'Brilynne the Cam-Goddess' doing the talking? If so, then the blending between your two 'selves' can be a really positive thing.
    Also, with all the challenges you've been dealing with, so awesomely successfully, I gotta add it would also totally make sense to want to spend as much time as possible in an area of your life that validates how awesome you are. Think about it, you've talked about so many things I think alot of people would be reticent to share, and your peers and customers love and respect you...the fact that this realm is in the adult industry shouldn't taint that.

    Recognize too that even if you weren't camming-if Brilynne didn't even exist-that you'd probably still be feeling some confusion regarding who you are, which aspects of your life fit where, etc. From what I've observed of those close to me who have also overcome addiction and health issues, it's a neccessary part of the process. Gradually introducing new things to your life once you've totally healed will be another step, and new aspects of yourself will arise along with that too.

    I think a problem would arise if any of us ever felt 'stuck' in our roles/personas, on or off-cam, so always remember that YOU alone get to define and select which parts of your life and aspects of yourself that you share with anyone. Both your cam-self and off-cam self are your creation, and it's your privilege alone to decide what parts of go where. I don't think there's really any 'correct' answer, it's more about how well whatever you choose serves your needs

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  5. #3
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    When I first joined SW I was struck by the most wise advice one cam girl can give to another and that's, "Always protect your mind". I think I appreciate this statement because way back when, I wasn't as strong of a person as I am now and i allowed my camming career to define who I am.

    The best advice I can give you after acknowledging the wisdom in, "always protect your mind" is to create a business outline that defines who you are as a camgirl and who you are as a person. Ultimately the two of them do blend because you have limits.

    Don't push those limits and only do what you as your "person" feels comfortable with. Eventually, once you define those limits, you will begin to form your online persona which usually is not too far from who you really are... only with boundaries.

  6. #4
    Veteran Member SweetPinkCupcake's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    I feel you. I see myself turning into my cam persona when I'm out partying in the city, and that's been a lot lately. To combat that I've been kind of settling down and just having friends over for dinner or watching movies. You need to identify triggers. I know, I sound like a schizo or something, lol. . but I've been working over 30 hours a week lately plus shooting content so it's been getting to me

  7. #5
    Veteran Member Rosemary Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    I had a crisis back in the day because I was being two different people. It's just not in me to maintain that strong of a duality. It was stressful, especially when I didn't feel 'up to character'.

    So I cuntpunched the 'sexy me' and the goofy, silly, fun me took over! I have so much more fun now. I'm not afraid to fall, to blush, and sometimes I even snort when I laugh too hard. The stress of that is gone and it was one of the most positive things I did for myself. I didn't have to keep up with any of the BS of worrying if I'm being 'sexy enough' or whatever it was that I convinced myself I had to do to appease the masses.

    Give yourself a little break! Are you willing to attempt a merge, or do you prefer the two remain wholly separate?

    I would say that offline I am not inclined to accept the sexual advances of unknown men wielding paper

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  9. #6
    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    It's the same type thing that happens to actors and actresses.

    I think it's a mistake that you let your real life friend in on something that has to do with your camming persona. Always keep them separated and it makes things a lot simpler. We are after all actresses (and I bet a few are damn sight better than some of what Hollywood has been putting out lately).


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  11. #7
    Veteran Member innes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    You're going to be similar online vs offline unless you take tons of time to define your online personality. Personally, I can't keep up with a completely different "me" so I still have basic "me" traits on cam. I'm just more slutty, outgoing, etc.
    That being said, I don't have friends or anyone who talk to me as "cam-me". My bf is the only one who knows I do this and he just talks to me as me, not cam-me.
    If I tell stories on cam, they are always based on truth, just may have some sluttier moments or something, hah.
    InnesX

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  13. #8
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    maybe you're thinking too much into it?
    just saying.. sometimes when we think too much about something , it tends to come to life! ha.
    just keep thinking that you on cam is different then you in real life... and all should be good...
    I personally refuse to think otherwise...

  14. #9
    Featured Member LadyCoco's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    My old cam persona was to be a younger, sluttier version of myself. Now that I'm going back to MFC, I just want to be me. I want to be comfortable with what I do on cam. I'm also going to be random, goofy, and silly but not overdo it. The only difference is that I don't usually lounge around in knee-socks, panties and sexy tops



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  16. #10
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    At this point in my career, I have just started being me on cam. A much hornier, sluttier version of me, but me nontheless. I have the same sense of humor, the same interests, the same musical tastes, etc.

    When I first started in the industry and was stripping, I started to have the same issue you are - where my stripper-persona was very, very strong. Stupid, brainless, horny, slutty and bubbly...and everything else (tastes, interests etc) were what I thought the customer that I was dealing with would like. It started to drive me crazy - I would be out irl and start to act or dress the way that "Kitty" or "Savannah" would (I used a few different names at that point). It really bothered me, because these personas were not only dumber than a box of rocks, but really not very nice, either.

    That was one of the main reasons that when I started to cam full time, and decided to really come into it as a long-term career, I decided to make my persona....ME. If I'm going to be blogging, tweeting, etc, all day long - I want to be a persona that I like. I want the real me to shine through. And when dealing with the entire world as a customer base, its much easier to say "well, if you don't like the "real me" then guess what? I don't care. All these other guys do."
    I take cash, debit or credit. I just don't take shit.


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  18. #11
    Senior Member bmodel84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    I have to say that for the most part I keep it real. I honestly think my regs appreciate it more because if anything I dont have to worry about faking it well when I do keep it real. I dont have to worry about acting, the only difference is Im def a sluttier version of my real self. Im in general a funny chic, I smile, laugh love to conversate, very chill and laid back, down to earth & as funny as it sounds Im still "lady like" I mean having decent manners, very appreciative,& I think all of that helps. And theres def a boundary line while I do try to be as real as I can, theres just some aspects of my life I dont want anyone to know, its just not necessary IMHO. Im not there to find a soul mate, and they know that too, but they prob arent either so I dont think they care. lol

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  20. #12
    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    Actually my cam persona is the real me. I throw a few naughty bits in there but for the most part it's just me. For me men seem to enjoy that they are getting me as the real person. The only problem is that I get more proposals for relationships because the guys feel that I so need a man if I'm there or something lol. There will always be a part of me that I don't share with the masses because I need something for myself. I think that goes without saying but I'm more relaxed and more comfortable when I'm in my own shoes. I tried the overly bimbo style and yeah guys wanted to take me private but I had more attempts at manipulative games and bullshit coming my way. When certain types see you're not gullible they tend to shy away from you. It's weird to see the difference between the two types of members that take you private. You'll start to notice the difference right away.

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  22. #13
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    Quote Originally Posted by Brilynne View Post
    Who else experiences identity crisis, even mildly, because of camming?
    I always was in kind of a grey area, but ever since my IRL best friend starting interacting with me on my camgirl twitter I've been giving this a lot of thought.

    My online persona and who I am offline are two completely different people..When I go online, I get in character, even if I'm only doing something as basic as tweeting. But more and more I find roles switched around; my online self bleeding into my offline self to the point of taking over entirely. It's an issue that's been growing especially with all the time I spend on SW anymore. It get's confusing, sharing my IRL self's thoughts and dilemmas, while operating under my online identity. Or maybe I'm the only one who has a different personality on cam..idk.

    I'm really just looking to see if this is only me or if anyone else can relate and, if so, how you handle it.
    If it turns out I'm not the only one I may share some deeper thoughts on the issue, but I'd like to know first if I'm just crazy.
    Well, I don't know lol. I lie about my personal likes/dislikes but that's for me personally. I don't want to get too personal with these guys. However, most of what I say is my real personality. If a guy says "show tits bb" I'll usually say "f*ck off dweeb". And I'd do that IRL. But if I were you and I did sex shows, I'd probably have to make up a new persona and be super flirty and sweet and really play up to the guys. I can see where you might get the two confused.

    Many people take their job home with them. Don't let it define you. When you are off cam and not in costume....leave the cam stuff at home. Not talking about it to your IRL friends on IRL social networking accounts is a way to keep it separate.

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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    Quote Originally Posted by innes View Post
    You're going to be similar online vs offline unless you take tons of time to define your online personality. Personally, I can't keep up with a completely different "me" so I still have basic "me" traits on cam. I'm just more slutty, outgoing, etc.
    That being said, I don't have friends or anyone who talk to me as "cam-me". My bf is the only one who knows I do this and he just talks to me as me, not cam-me.
    If I tell stories on cam, they are always based on truth, just may have some sluttier moments or something, hah.
    Me too. Except for telling stories. For me they are always a lie.

    I'm just a souped up bitchier person on cam. The way I do it is that I pretend I'm a movie director for a really messed up horror film. Think a Rob Zombie flick. I think hmmm what sort of completely messed up sadistic stuff would Baby or Otis say to a victim? And voila...you have my cam persona. Which is really like me if I were allowed to say exactly what I thought all the time. And my slaves can't get enough of it. LOL.

  24. #15
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    This is why I don't have a fake persona online. It'd be too much to manage. Who you see on cam is who I am off cam. I don't act overtly sexual because I'm not an overtly sexual person, don't pretend to be horny for everyones cocks, don't act like someone else because at the end of the day - ITS TOO MUCH WORK. I'd go crazy having to live two separate lives. So, I am who I am in all areas of my life, including my career. The only differences between Ashleigh and *insert real name here* is the fact that my names are different.

  25. #16
    Featured Member bubblegumbitch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Cam Girl Identity Crisis

    i would say that my cam persona is a much more exaggerated version of my real self. i don't identify myself with having two personalities, just my personalty is much more magnified on cam. i am an entertainer, so once the cam is on, it's showtime and i let my best traits shine through. i can see why you are having an identity issue when you create a whole other personality for yourself and then you start to get really confused about who you really are sometimes. i think that it's very important to know WHO YOU ARE first and then build up ur cam persona around that. camming is a long term role to play. actresses and actors have alot of short terms roles to play. although very similar but very different. i would more or so compare our roles much more with singers. although they are pretty much themselves in public, they also magnify they're personalities much more on stage when they are giving a performance. they are entertainers as well, so it helps to give the best performance possible just like us.

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