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Thread: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Sad Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    I really lead a man down the garden path tonight. Told him I rarely feel such a connection, he's unique etc.
    I told him it would take ages for him to pursue me though because I'm wary of taking it OTC. I set up a situation whereby he would be encouraged to come see me again- but I am outright lying to him in terms of my interest in him.
    When I write it out like this It's not so bad, however I felt so guilty and I don't do this (not to the extent of tonight).
    I lied for material gain.
    Do I suck?
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    That's called doing your job babe.. If he comes back and spends alot of money on you then you did it well Unfortunately you may get a stalker of some sort out of this :/ He's probably going to get really annoying and clingy. Then you're going to need to let him down. Luckily there's tons of threads with that solution!
    I just want to add that I too feel guilty when I lead guys on ITC. However, when they walk into the club they should know better. It's a STRIPCLUB not E-fucking-harmony! Lol

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Thanks for coming over.
    I mean FUCK! been doing this for 6years- why the guilt trip?
    Did I provide the fantasy- I feel like a bad person for taking him in. I feel like I crossed a line, I'm really unsure as to whether this is the way hard hustlers get the money..
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    The guilt trip because you have empathy for people and that's not necessarily bad but you need to put that on the back burner at work. Maybe he told you some sob story that made you feel bad about taking his money? You didn't ruin any fantasy, in fact you created one. You didn't take his money and say, "I'll meet up with you after work, tomorrow, etc.." No, you said he'd have to come back and see you and spend his money on you there. I'm pretty sure we all say the same things to customers to keep them coming back. Don't feel bad at all!

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    I wouldn't say, feel guilty. You did what you had to do to get paid, girl, and that's your job. If you ask me, it's MUCH more ethical than saying "I'll suck your dick for $300" and not doing it.

    I would be seriously concerned about how you're going to get out of this though...once a crazy customer gets so deep into a fantasy, it's a very dangerous thing to rip him back out of it. Just realize sooner or later he's going to have to be told "I don't like you," and start planning that out now.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Farrah rocks your world, biatch!

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    OK. I'm going to take your advice on board and stop the negative self talk.
    I need to not let myself get emotionally involved at work, it's not helpful (even my mum tells me this). It's because I seek connections with other people that I let myself be walked over by other dancers (in terms of reciprocating generosity). I'm emotional and find it hard to draw boundaries.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    OK. I'm going to take your advice on board and stop the negative self talk.
    I need to not let myself get emotionally involved at work, it's not helpful (even my mum tells me this). It's because I seek connections with other people that I let myself be walked over by other dancers (in terms of reciprocating generosity). I'm emotional and find it hard to draw boundaries.
    You know what? I'm the same way I try to give good advice but I rarely take my own :/ I'm still learning to control my guilt and not to let guys push me to cross my boundaries.. It's not that we're bad people, we just sympathize with others.

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Thankyou both.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Don't feel bad. You're selling a fantasy and he knows it is by buying it. if this is still bothering you, read "Why Men Love Bitches".

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Don't you dare feel bad about that! Men don't come to strip clubs for the truth.

    I sometimes feel bad about lying for monetary gain, as well -- and then some jerk tries his hardest to push my boundaries, asks me for sex, or otherwise tries to take advantage of me -- and I don't feel bad at all. Just protect yourself as best you can, and put an end to any stalker tendencies the instant they show up.

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    I really lead a man down the garden path tonight. Told him I rarely feel such a connection, he's unique etc.
    I told him it would take ages for him to pursue me though because I'm wary of taking it OTC. I set up a situation whereby he would be encouraged to come see me again- but I am outright lying to him in terms of my interest in him.
    When I write it out like this It's not so bad, however I felt so guilty and I don't do this (not to the extent of tonight).
    I lied for material gain.
    Do I suck?
    I truly believe that you can do your job and still make good money without having to completely lie to a guy about your interest in him. A lot of guys don't need to find love in a stripclub, I go for those types. And avoid the needy emotional guys. It could be really dangerous to lead a guy on too. Also think about karma. Every time I have ever done that something bad would happen to me - ie, making shit for money the next shift. The money is not worth not being able to sleep at night. It obviously bothers you to some extent otherwise you wouldn't post it on here.

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Quote Originally Posted by femmefatale88 View Post
    I truly believe that you can do your job and still make good money without having to completely lie to a guy about your interest in him. A lot of guys don't need to find love in a stripclub, I go for those types. And avoid the needy emotional guys. It could be really dangerous to lead a guy on too. Also think about karma. Every time I have ever done that something bad would happen to me - ie, making shit for money the next shift. The money is not worth not being able to sleep at night. It obviously bothers you to some extent otherwise you wouldn't post it on here.
    Check (shit money next shift)
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Please dont feel guilty. When I was a babystripper I used to feel this way and I regret the time I wasted feeling guilty about merely doing my job. Im really surprised u have been doing this job so long.
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
    Either Peace Or War

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    I used to feel guilty often (years ago), I guess it just makes me human.
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Veteran Member babylovexxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Lol I do this all the time.. Should I be feeling guilty? Nah. These guys are all the same to me, and ya I'm full of shit (I never actually promise a meeting or sexual acts, but I let them think I'm very interested and that they have a chance) I think it's part of the fantasy that they could have a chance with us but walking into a stripclub they should know better. Besides, half the shit that comes outta their mouth is bs too most of the time, whether it's about how much money they have, if they are married. They might not even be interested, but just wanna bang a stripper and are putting on an act like we do...


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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Quote Originally Posted by babylovexxx View Post
    Besides, half the shit that comes outta their mouth is bs too most of the time, whether it's about how much money they have, if they are married. They might not even be interested, but just wanna bang a stripper and are putting on an act like we do...
    This. Everyone has an ulterior motive in the SC, both strippers AND customers. It's a manipulative situation all around, so don't ever feel guilty about giving a guy what he wants: a fantasy. Unless you're specifically promising something you're not gonna deliver, like sex or being his girlfriend, it's a fantasy. Giving vague hints, making it seem like you're into him... that's your job, period. If he can't handle that, he shouldn't be there, and he will soon learn.

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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Well he does know that he is in a strip club. He'll get over it and at the end of the day you got paid which is the only thing that matters.

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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone Awake??? Feel guilty need pep talk

    Thanks everyone
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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