OK I'm sure this has been covered before but every situation is different. I'm losing sleep tonight and wanting to get a moving truck tomorrow....NEED ADVICE! I am a "retired" los angeles stripper (27) living with a guy (28 ) who pretty much supports me and I take care of the home. We've been together 2 years and from the very start he said: You will never dance again. You will not nude model. You will not even be a bartender or a waittress while you are with me. I've been fine with this and actually appreciated that he could put his money where his mouth was (and wasnt 100 years old and disgusting to talk to). It's an ideal situation for both of us. Hes funny, cute, charming, loveable....We broke up a couple times and in those periods I went back to work and he had sex/hooked up with different girls, some strippers some bartenders. Me= none. He's a loveable slut and I'm kindof a prude. Ok so moving on.
Right before NYE I got really sick AND found out I have a traffic warrant so I decided to sit out the big trip we had planned in Las Vegas. Several couples are going. I was so sad I couldn't go!!! This would have been the biggest co-ed group we ever took there ( they give us rooms, dinner, spa etc).My BF lived in LV for over 6 years, he likes to gamble and drink when he's there but at home he never drinks gambles or goes out AT ALL. He plays videogames.
ANYWAY the very first night there, the girlfriends get too drunk, they fall asleep and some of the guys go to the rhino. My bf is the only one in the group with a gf who got dances. A married guy went but he didn't spend money on the girls. So he spends about 500 in dances and they put in on a 500 bottle. (btw he didn't buy me a xmas gift he handed me $200)
So NYE happens, the next day, then the next day, he comes home and mentions they went there ever so casually????????? His friends sitting there like "Oh man you're in trouble" and he goes "Oh I am not in trouble in the slightest, you don't even know" As if I have no voice to be upset whatsoever because I used to strip?? Than he asks me to get them iced tea. I say no. He has a weird slint-eyed face like an evil liar psychopath would have. I'm freaking out that he did that. I go away. friend leaves. We talk about it and yeah yeah OK I'm starting to get over it... then I look at his phone and LO AND BEHOLD Natalie/Darean (do u post here? that would be funny) has texted him "Hey cutie...." and much more about how she's sorry she had to leave but blah blah blah and "Are you ready to get down and dirty tonight?" typical flirty BS. SS. He also had invited her and prolly a friend to come to their table for NYE.
Big fight ensues. Basically him trying to break up with me for being mad at all. On and on it goes without end until we get tired of being upset and we act like nothing has happend. Technically nothing DID happen. He got $500 worth of topless vegas-style dances at the rhino and either he said "here take my number" (very fucked up) or she said "what are u doing for nye? take my number" and there was a critical moment where he should have had a single friend do it if it was just to make a bigger party at the table with more hot chicks. I don't care it was 6, 7, 8am by then and they were wasted. I do not care. It was wrong. He says it was not, that she would never contact him again in a million years.
Now one part of my mind is saying: IF you were married you wouldn't give a fuck. You'd want him to be happy and see boobies and it would make him love you more. Obviously you'd want to go to the strip club yourself and have fun but if he didn't want you there sometimes, You would be fine with it! (but I'm talking like twice a year and only a couple of dances) but the other part of my mind says: He's unfixable. He will always go behind your back to get what he wants and this is only the tip of the iceberg. He will just get more and more clever. He doesn't respect your feelings and violates your right to be upset.
I know he only wants to be with me. I know I'm the one who gets all of him and thats why he didnt take me seriously, like, I could give a shit about that girl so stop hassling me, ya know? I feel like my low self esteem and jealousy is blowing this out of proportion.
I just feel like the fact that I danced for so long has no bearing on this. He lied. He said flat out while his friend was still there that they didn't get any numbers, the girls didn't come over and it was strictly a business transaction? That I should be able to understand that....but then this girl is texting and he says he didnt rememebr that. Oh I don't remember doing that. But then you were talking the next day?! I didn't remember that either. How can you say to my face it wasn't going to leave the club??
I guess I have been guilty of taking numbers and flirting with guys i'd never even ask to come back and spend money on me. It's a compulsive thing I think some people do at the end of a long string of dances. To make themselves both feel better. Like it meant something, that they care about who eachother IS, when it really didnt mean anything and they dont care who eachother was.
Maybe I've been out of the game too long and i forgot this. Maybe I've been out just long enough to know when it's time to say fuck this shit and go back. idk. so confused.
sorry if this is TL and you DR



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