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Thread: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Sad Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Last edited by lokikola; 03-07-2012 at 06:50 PM.

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    Featured Member luscious sadie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    I started this thread a little while ago. No one responded to it but maybe it will be useful in this situation. I see this a lot on this board and it makes me sad.

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...to-do-about-it
    [/center]

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurisa View Post
    Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy shit.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    You brought up your main issue with her, and she hasn't even bothered replying. I think that says a lot. Of course, she could be hurt by your comment that she needs to be a 'better mom', but sometimes people need a taste of their own medicine.

    Since your friendship is mostly text-based (Facebook & texts), it wouldn't be tricky to slowly phase her out of your life if that's what you want. Just don't initiate contact, take your time replying, and just straight up ignore any snarky comments she makes about your parenting.

    Personally, I'm of the mindset that I'd rather have a handful of friends who I truly enjoy keeping in touch with, rather than a plethora of friends who bother me for various reasons and who hurt my feelings.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Last edited by lokikola; 03-07-2012 at 06:51 PM.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Yeah, her reaction definitely tells you what kind of friend she is. Don't let a fair-weather friend bring you down!

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Really sorry to hear you're going through this. Honestly people are always going to have their views about the sex industry. If someone's husband got caught spending money on lapdances and not putting money into their own home, people would be quick to point the finger at the dancer. Rather than saying this man made his own decision on what he felt was important to him. Or maybe he could just have an addiction. Again if it was video games people would shrug it off. There may be more to her story that she hasn't quite revealed yet. Now even though you helped her financially , she secretly resents how you make you money. Also the only thing she has is being a mother. Nothing else. Thinking about how her marriage is failing makes her feel she's a failure as a wife. Plus her knowing about married men going to clubs to touch on women makes he feel that you are some how the cause of marriages breaking up.

    So you may be her friend but she secretly also looks at you as an enemy.

    Sometimes with people like that you need to leave them in their own shit for a while. Someone that's getting her ass beat , fighting in front of her own child really doesn't have the right to call anyone else a bad mother. So I read she went back and is going to try to make things work out with the abuser. I would just let her handle it because she sounds like she has more than one kid to raise. Later on she may realize that you were her only true friend that was there for her, but her ego is in the way right now.

    You tried to poke some fun at her by kindly trying to show her that she was being cruel in her comments. She's just not ready to face up to that yet so let her deal with her own problems for a change. When she's ready , she knows where to find you.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    IMHO life is too short to allow a "friend" to treat you like that. IMHO true friendship is about comfort and mutual support.

    If she really had concerns about your lifestyle, there were better ways for her to communicate with you. It sounds to me like she is lashing out at you as a way of self-validating her own lifestyles choices.

    Anyway, good luck!

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    People who put you down and make you feel bad are not really friends...dont let her words get to you, dont doubt yourself, I am sure you are a great mom!

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Last edited by lokikola; 03-07-2012 at 06:51 PM.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Well, I agree w/everyone, & of course BOM..I am sorry you're going thru this..& you hurt cause you are a good person. You were wonderful to help her like that! Maybe her abused status is causing her to take it out on you..not right. It's good you blocked her.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Last edited by lokikola; 03-07-2012 at 06:51 PM.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Let it go. She is not a real friend.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    I blocked her from being able to text me or call me.
    Good for you! Make sure you block her from Facebook too.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Hey girl, you reached out to me so I came here to read your story <3 I want to say first and foremost that you are definitely having valid feelings, and I think any mother would feel hurt by her words and actions. It's good your friend validated that for you...this chick has a lot of serious issues. How can she talk down on you like that? I'm glad you blocked her and are lettin this "friendship" go. You're right, it's ugly and it sounds toxic. Her negativity is self-destructive and it's good you are breaking free of that influence. You sound like such a kind soul and also a great mom who is doing her best as you get rid of what doesn't work in your life, new doors and friends will be there. best wishes to you dear.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Oh this sounds awful!! I got angry just reading this. I think we've all been in that position where we have "kind of" friendships and then one little thing goes wrong and they become your worst enemy. It eats you up inside!! I have to laugh that she wants to get a job to pay for daycare for what, when she's at work to pay for that daycare? That seems so pointless. If she doesn't work then she has all day to take care of her kid, why would she go to work just to make money so someone can watch her? She has enough time to post about you on another site but she's too busy to actually just watch her child herself? Good for you for blocking her, sounds like she's just unraveling and her true crazy will slowly come out to everyone eventually. It does suck that you helped her out and she still did that to you. Sorry to hear that.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    I got out of a frienship like that not too long ago. Good for you for ending it. I'm really sorry it had to end that way but toxic friends are not good to have around. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. It's so much healthier and happier.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Last edited by lokikola; 03-07-2012 at 06:52 PM.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Last edited by lokikola; 03-07-2012 at 06:52 PM.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    I think everyones got you covered on this one, but I just wanted to say she was never a friend so you shouldn't feel badly about breaking off all communication with her. Sounds like that would be best for you since she seems to be aggravating you on purpose, which she probably uses as validation of her own opinions of you. The worlds full of jealous, insecure people who would rather tear people down then enjoy their happiness.

    Let her figure her own shit out. Forget her and move on.

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    Default

    I don't think you need to deactivate your Facebook - but dont worry about losing anything if you deactivate it, everything will still be there when you decide to activate your profile again.

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    omg wrong thread sorry

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post

    What makes me mad is that I truly never did anything to her for her to have put me on that site, or talked to me how she did. I just have to understand that she is seriously fucked up and chalk it up to that....
    Ah, but you did! You were HAPPY! You cannot be happy while she is miserable. Now she is giving you the punishment you deserve. No more smiling! That's really how those people think. Be glad you got away without her seriously jamming your life up.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Ugly friendship, needs to end?

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    Thanks to everyone for your kind and truthful words. I'm removing the link to the stupid site just so identities don't get thrown out there.
    Last edited by lokikola; 03-07-2012 at 06:50 PM.

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