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Thread: Any other mommy's find it hard to adjust?

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    Member ginger.playmates's Avatar
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    Default Any other mommy's find it hard to adjust?

    I started dancing 4 months ago and I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. I work 7pm-2am 5 nights a week. I am finding it really hard to adjust to doing all the things I need to do at home (house cleaning, taking care of 2 kids all day, making sure that my husband is taken care of in the morning/before I leave for work) and dancing all night. I live an hour away from the club I work at so I have to leave the house by 6 and I usually don't get home until 3/3:30. Since I started my sleeping/eating habits have greatly suffered because I just want to make sure everything else is up to pare. Anyone have anyy advice?

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    Default Re: Any other mommy's find it hard to adjust?

    NOT a mommy but.......have your husband pitch in. Not appropriate for you to work on cleaning and taking care of the kids for 6-8 hours followed by the club for eight hours. He can do some cleaning and some laundry etc after he gets home from work. (yes, I know we don't clean the best !). Doing some laundry in the evening hours shouldn't be too taxing on him even while watching the kids or he can pick a half hour task and knock it off the cleaning list after they go to bed. With his help......you might be more receptive to fun time with him and not be 'too tired'.....not that you mentioned that. Another option would be to have someone come in once a week for some cleaning to eliminate some of the bigger tasks.

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    Default Re: Any other mommy's find it hard to adjust?

    You need to have your husband help. For the life of me I don't understand these women who work and still clean the house, letting the husband off scot free. If both work, both clean and cook and do whatever needs to be done.

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    Default Re: Any other mommy's find it hard to adjust?

    I have tried to ask him to help. He's not havin any of it :/ than he gets mad at me if I'm tired or seem "grumpy"

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    Default Re: Any other mommy's find it hard to adjust?

    I understand completely, my son will be two in a few weeks and I've been a dancer since he was 6 months old. It has always been a struggle for me to wake up because I also live an hour from clubs that I dance at AND they make us stay 45+ minutes after to "pay out" while they go smoke and bullshit. Also, the club doesn't close til 4 AM! So I'm gone from like 6:30 PM until 5:30 AM when I work there. I used to live near the club but I moved away because it was a dangerous area and customers lived in my apartment complex!

    It has been a real battle for me because I need at least 6 hours of sleep a night to function properly. I also go to school full time. Many times I had to have my SO get up with the baby so I could sleep in, especially if I was working the next night. It's like you have to choose between making money for your family or spending time with them/losing sleep!

    The most important thing is to realize that you can't do it all. If you let some things slide you'll feel less stressed. For example, if you always want to have the house spotless, laundry folded, and a fridge stocked full of food then you will have to accept that some of these things might not happen. There's no harm from a few dust bunnies, clean laundry in the hamper, and Chinese carryout twice a week, TRUST ME. It will save your sanity.

    I found that I've learned what restaurants near me have cheap "made to order" food. There's a grocery store with a cooked chicken for $4.99 that will feed two adults twice. There's $5 hot-n-ready pizzas. There is also a Chinese restaurant that doesn't charge for delivery near me. These things save my life because I hate cooking, and they don't cost very much money.

    Also, I HATE folding clothes, and trying to keep up with my son, a clean house, and laundry left me frustrated. I bought some laundry baskets and pop up hampers, shouldn't cost you more than $30-40 total. I made one of the laundry baskets for my son's clothes, one for my pajamas, one for my day clothes, one for my SO's clothes, one for dirty clothes, one for random things (blankets, old shirts, sheets etc), a small one for my socks, bras and underwear, and one for towels. It seems like a lot but they are small and all fit in my laundry room. I just empty the clothes out the dryer and throw them in the appropriate basket. As the season changes I put old clothes in a huge box and that's how I ensure all the clothes in our baskets are seasonally appropriate. That is one HUGE shortcut that can save you hours and it's still organized.

    Ultimately you will find a balance. Try to keep a schedule, even if it's just basic.

    I make Monday - Wednesday stay at home with my son time. Thursday is my school day/see my son. Friday and Saturday I work. Sunday I clean and relax with my SO. It's just a basic outline of my week but it gives us all some predictability and it really helps.

    -Laurisa
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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