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Thread: Potentially Dangerous Customer

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    Default Potentially Dangerous Customer

    I hustled the wrong customer a little too well last week, and I'm absolutely certain at this point that he's a sociopath with bad intentions. Please do not make any comments about how I should have known better; I realize my mistake and need advice on damage control.

    ......
    Last edited by lol1337a; 09-19-2019 at 04:54 PM. Reason: added a couple details

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    You didn't do anything wrong. If it wasn't the spiritual "connection", you would've found some other thing to "connect" on, ya know? He's just psychotic and delusional. As are most of the guys we deal with on a daily basis. My advice is to keep ignoring him. Hopefully he'll get the hint. It sucks that there isn't much we can do about creepos like this :/ Continue to have the bouncer watch the parking lot for you though. If this guy did this to some other girl then he'll most likely move on. Fingers crossed!

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Ignoring is okay. For now.

    If the stalking persists, enlist a large, scary-looking man to play your boyfriend. Deterrence in the form of a man has been the most effective method to put psychotic men off.
    Smoke good, eat good. Drink and f*** good. Comin' to the club, stuntin' how you should. My s*** on fire I don't need no gasolina. I'm comin through the block with the new two seater. Cash rules everything around me -- C.R.E.A.M. -- get the money! Dollar dollar bill, y'all!!! FREEZE!!! You know who it is!!! It's me *****es!!! Showtime!!! -Swizz Beats

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    Veteran Member Miss Chevious's Avatar
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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

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    Last edited by Miss Chevious; 06-27-2014 at 10:31 PM.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Definitely get management involved... he's already being way too creepy. Then if you ever see him always ignore him. Literally walk away when he is talking to you. Ive had 2 semi-stalkers neither was dangerous but both scared me. Stalkers feed on any attention, both positive and negative. So if you tell him to piss off its still seen as attention to him. Ignore him for long enough and eventually he will get bored and move onto someone else, but again sounds like he should not be aloud in there at all.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    ......
    Last edited by lol1337a; 09-19-2019 at 04:54 PM.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    ......
    Last edited by lol1337a; 09-19-2019 at 04:54 PM.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    ^ Lol, he gave you a snow globe that plays a HIM song? God, I fucking hate that guy, my ex was obsessed with him. I mean, obsessed with HIM. Heh heh.

    Seriously, though, if you're the second girl he's become obsessed with in five days of coming there, I'd have hope that soon he will move on to another girl. Serious stalkers tend to fixate on one individual as opposed to hopping from one to another that quickly. It shows he has a limited attention span and is easily distracted, so I wouldn't stress out just yet.

    BTW, if and when I start working at DC's (and I know I've been saying this for years), please point him out to me for avoidance purposes...you know I'm Pagan and I'd rather not drop that bit of information to the wrong person.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    ^^ Sure thing. There's no way to miss him.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    I would point him out to the bouncers, floor staff, and any other dancers you want to warn.

    Then, next time he harasses you, tell him calmly but firmly that you are not interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with him. If you can, try to do this within earshot of a bouncer, bartender, or floor guy you trust. If he continues to harass you after that, let him know you will have to notify mngmt or bouncers if he does not leave you alone immediately. Follow through on that threat.

    If you don't feel like your club would automatically have your back, maybe you could tip the bouncer well to help you deal with this creep? I know that some don't agree with tipping extra to get the support staff to do their jobs, but in this instance your safety comes first.
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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    I tipped him an extra $10 on top of what I usually do. I don't mind continuing to do so until the guy leaves me alone. Hope he doesn't come in tonight!

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    My club would ban a guy like this from returning. Can yours do that? I mean if he's possibly dangerous that's pretty scary!
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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    It sucks that we have to deal with these creepos... eventually they get the message though. But to spend my whole shift dodging the motherfuckers is beyond annoying.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Wow I hope he leaves you alone, but yeah I agree with others tell the club, but also keep an eye out when leaving incase hes lurking around he sounds nuts, stay safe girlx
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    The obsessive tendencies lead me to believe you've got yourself a psychopath. He is likely more bark than bite, however I would take precautionary measures. GET HIM BLACKLISTED FROM YOUR CLUB. If you can't do that, ignore him BUT make management aware he is there and what he is doing every single time. Nag until something happens.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    The obsessive tendencies lead me to believe you've got yourself a psychopath. He is likely more bark than bite, however I would take precautionary measures. GET HIM BLACKLISTED FROM YOUR CLUB. If you can't do that, ignore him BUT make management aware he is there and what he is doing every single time. Nag until something happens.
    This. Tell the managers that you are concerned for your safety. You simply shouldn't have to deal with some assbag fucking up your hustle like this. And honestly, if I worked at a club and they wouldn't get rid of the guy for me I would leave and never come back. Our job is hard enough as it is without having the club back you up in a situation like this. I would also buy pepper spray and/or a stun gun and keep it with me at all times. You may not see him as you're getting walked out but he could be hiding out across the street or something with binoculars. If you do have to deal with him again be a complete bitch. Don't scream and yell, just flat out tell him to leave you alone and walk away. Don't try to argue or explain, just walk away. Women in our society are trained to feel bad about this kind of thing, and like we need to somehow explain our actions if they aren't nice, and that's what these guys feed off of. You don't want to reward him with any interaction, positive or negative.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    ^^Yeah, there is no doubt in my mind that he's a sociopath/psychopth with bad intentions (not that there aren't functioning antisocial people; he just isn't one of them). His intention may be to manipulate women to fuel his ego or to chop them up and leaving them on the side of the road. Don't want to find out!

    My club will absolutely not throw him out unless he makes an explicit threat or a big scene. The bouncer will look out for me but that's it. This is definitely something to weigh out. My work situation has been so great for the last few years that it will be tough to burn the bridge if necessary.

    Update for the night if anyone's interested:
    I didn't interact with him for the first few hours because I was in the VIP. He tried to talk to me once at the very beginning of the shift but I pretended I didn't notice him. Later on he approached me while I was onstage taking a tip from another customer and I couldn't ignore him because he made it drizzle on my head before I could walk away (wtf?). He commented on how busy I was and that he was jealous but understood, and then asked me if many other men in the club loved me, if it's unusual to make great money from them, etc. I more or less yelled "YES TONS OF MONEY BYE" and walked away. My materialism seemed to turn him off.

    I think he's figured out I'm not easy prey and will move on. Still, I'm the only girl he's given a personalized gift to so far (everyone else just got identical fake necklaces). I wound up taking a cab home tonight because I got drunk in the VIP, so there's no risk he found out my license plate, and I made sure no cars followed me home. I've gotten two hang up calls from an unknown number but I'm trying not to read into it because I'm already on high alert. My boyfriend knows about everything and he's pretty badass when it comes to defending himself.

    Anyway, thanks for all the advice and support!
    Last edited by lol1337a; 01-18-2012 at 03:02 AM. Reason: Details -- I can't stop typing when I'm tipsy.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    BTW I do carry pepper spray and I've read up on how to minimize risk in worst case scenarios (home invasions, being coerced with the threat of violence, etc). The one controversial thing seems to be whether to pursue a restraining order with this type of person if things escalate. Some resources say that this will only trigger explosive rage because they aren't getting what they want. Hopefully it won't get to this point, though.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by lol1337a View Post
    BTW I do carry pepper spray and I've read up on how to minimize risk in worst case scenarios (home invasions, being coerced with the threat of violence, etc). The one controversial thing seems to be whether to pursue a restraining order with this type of person if things escalate. Some resources say that this will only trigger explosive rage because they aren't getting what they want. Hopefully it won't get to this point, though.
    Good to hear you've though ahead with the pepper spray. If it does escalate I personally would go ahead with the restraining order just to have the paper trail and the back up of the police. That's what they get paid to do, protect and serve. You absolutely should not have to deal with a situation like that on your own and if you have that paper trail they'll be there when you need them and they'll take it seriously because you have that to back you up; they won't just assume you're being a hysterical women. Hopefully it won't come to that. My fingers are crossed for you. I had a stalker when I worked at Starbucks and even though I haven't seen him since I quit that job I still get a sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about it. At least at the club we have bouncers to protect us.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Good news -- my manager took this more seriously than I thought she would. My plan is to ignore him unless he corners me, and if he does I'll tell him to leave me alone. If he talks to me again even once more the club will throw him out.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    I'm so glad to hear that management has your back on this one. The safety of the performers (and everyone, really) should be the first priority of any club management, but unfortunately this is not always the case.

    You shouldn't have to deal with a potentially dangerous customer on your own, and I'm happy that you won't have to.
    Good luck, stay safe, and keep making that money!
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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Just have his ass beat... The only way to deal with losers these days!

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Oh, by the way- nothing wrong with yelling in his face in a CROWDED PUBLIC SETTING. I yell at guys all the time at work. I was telling TurboHips the other day about an Indian guy who was nagging me about what the girls "could do", so I loudly said "WE DON'T OFFER PROSTITUTION SERVICES, SIR" and embarrassed the shit out of him. If you're near a bouncer, manager or something do NOT be afraid to LOUDLY and FIRMLY state "I SAID, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE". People will cow a lot easier than you think.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    He was in again tonight (SURPRISE) and I flat out ignored him whenever he came to tip me onstage. Finally he hounded me and I told him never to talk to me or approach me. His reaction was fucking creepy, he said "Thank you for being honest" with a weird smile and walked away. He tried to talk to me again before the night ended and I yelled "NO THANKS BYE!" (this was before I read your comment Mediocrity!). It was the end of the night though so there was no point kicking out, but next time he's in they'll have my back.

    Plus he's a con artist!!! No surprise there. He scammed this sweet old regular of mine into giving him money for some business deal and keeps telling him it won't go through until he gets more. Not that this is a good thing but it builds my case.

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    Default Re: Potentially Dangerous Customer

    Quote Originally Posted by lol1337a View Post
    Good news -- my manager took this more seriously than I thought she would. My plan is to ignore him unless he corners me, and if he does I'll tell him to leave me alone. If he talks to me again even once more the club will throw him out.

    This exactly! Shit like this needs to be taken seriously -because it is serious! I am so happy for you that you have #1 -a female manager. #2 -they're taking good care of you.

    Thank goodness!
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    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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