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Thread: low self esteem while at work

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    Sad low self esteem while at work

    I've been dancing for about 2 and a half years now and lately I've been suffering from extreme low self esteem/confidence ONLY when I arrive to work! I don't understand what is happening. I assume no one wants a dance, that they think I'm not attractive and that I'll be turned down. I worked a double today and left with about $100 which is horrible; only danced for three guys. I see dancers who are heavy and not very attractive making all the $$$ and I can't comprehend why, when I was turned down for them over and over. I don't mean to ramble or sound petty but I was just wondering if any one has advice or suggestionn how to overcome this. Has anyone experienced this for for weeks at a time?

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: low self esteem while at work

    It all really does come down to your confidence. If you aren't confident at work, the customers can totally tell, and if you don't think you're worth their money, why would they spend it on you? It sounds like you have some serious approach anxiety, and you just have to get over that if you're going to make any money. Guys are going to reject you, no matter what you look like. You can't take it personally; if you let rejections get you down, then you'll be in a bad mood, and customers can totally tell, and then you won't make money. I recommend approaching EVERY guy in the club systematically. If they reject you, just smile and tell them that if they change their mind, don't be afraid to come find you. After you approach every guy, go back to the beginning and approach them all again. Always be pleasant when you get turned down; you wouldn't believe the amount of dances I've gotten from customers on the second approach, just because after they rejected me on the first approach I didn't get pissy with them like the other girls. Just because you take your clothes off for money doesn't mean you can't still act like a lady.

    RELAX. Maybe go on a shopping spree at Sephora, or buy a really gorgeous new outfit or gown for work. Go to a salon or a spa and get the works. Get a gym membership or a tanning membership or whatever it would take to make you feel good about yourself. Maybe find a local yoga studio. And when you're getting ready for work and when you're en route to the club, listen to music that gets you really amped up and makes you feel sexy and makes you want to DANCE. I have some great techno stuff that totally gets me in the mood to strip, and I'm not particularly into techno. Just try to get yourself excited about going to work, and once you're there, refuse to let rejections and any negativity get you down. I guarantee you that on busy nights, there is at least one guy in that club (probably more!) who thinks you are a fucking GODDESS and would worship you (with stacks of $20's). You just have to find out which one he is.

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    God/dess sammii's Avatar
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    Default Re: low self esteem while at work

    The only advice I can give is to quit stripping and work a normal job for awhile or take a break. It's easy to tell the difference between a girl with low self esteem and a girl with high self esteem, especially the mannerisms. If you don't think guys are going to spend money on you, then they probably won't spend money on you. I also agree with the post above me; pampering yourself is always a good thing for your self-esteem.

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    Default Re: low self esteem while at work

    yeah it definitely sounds like you need to take a little time off from the club. just take some time to do things you enjoy and don't think about stripping at all. pretty soon you'll find that you miss it and not long after that you'll be dying to go back to work and kick some ass

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: low self esteem while at work

    I don't mean to sound harsh but grow a pair. You've been dancing for how long? We all have our bad days and low self esteem days. Maybe you're just not the flavor of the day. Maybe the dancers you perceive as fugly and fat are somebody's Helen of Troy. Maybe they are sucking and fucking. Who knows? it's taken me a long time to realize that I'm not always going to be hot 100% of the time to everyone. This isn't a business for whiners at any stage in their career much less someone 2 years into it.

    Join a gym. Take a pottery class. Buy a wig or get plastic surgery. Change your look, hustle or club. What won't solve your problem is sitting on your pity pot whining. In this industry only the strong survive. We all get scared and wonder if we should be here. I just choose to rise above it.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: low self esteem while at work

    Yes take a break your not gonna make money with the attitude, the first time I quit dancing was because of this. I had saved some money and stopped working for 3 months went back and didnt feel right bc of the weight i gained it obviously showed that my esteem was low and it affected my earnings. Do what you need to feel better hell get implants I am lol. Bc your self image is apart of your self esteem. Now if you feel bad bc youre comparing yourself to other dancers then jsut stop youll never win comparing yourself to anyone.

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    Default Re: low self esteem while at work

    I used to have this problem A LOT at work. And it did hurt my money. It made me afraid to ask for dances, afraid to milk my regulars for all they were worth afraid to upsell and at one point (and this is embarrassing) stopped me from auditioning at more upscale clubs. I totally totally agree with firemaiden. Pamper yourself! It's so weird and I know you might not believe me, but the difference can be as simple as a manicure, massage or new pair of dancing shoes. I know for me new makeup always helps but over the years I have also learned to put on blinders when it comes to the other girls and their bodies. If you are like me, you will always always find some way in which they are more attractive or stylish than you are. So just IGNORE them. But you need that special something. A statement necklace, that outfit you've been wanting etc. And maybe like I did you think it's stupid to spend money on yourself when you are not earning that much at work, but just trust me it can make all the difference. It's all in what you project to people. Even when you do feel like a total troll beast, just keep on asking for those dances. It gets easier.

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