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Thread: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

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    Veteran Member Rayna Skye's Avatar
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    Duh I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    We had a meeting at this dive bar I worked at. I wasn't really paying attention cause I don't really do anything wrong. All of sudden something was said about the owner being racist. Next thing I know he says, "I'm not racist. Rayna works here."

    Um...isn't that kinda like saying, "I have black friends?"
    To be honest I never understood how that statement was racist because growing up I'd ask all the adults why, and they would say, "Because it is."
    Which is the same as saying, "Because I'm your mother."

    Anyway, I didn't like how the attention was shifted to me, and I got the feeling that whatever was said to bring up that statement, wasn't resolved. Everyone just looked around the table with these looks you get when you know someone is lying, and they glanced at me and they glanced at him. They glanced at me. they glanced at him.

    Wait... I remember. The girls were complaining cause he would put black dudes out for no reason, and some of them would be spending money.

    Still I feel like he should have left me out of it.

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    That sounds really uncomfortable. I'm not really sure what else to say except sorry you got dragged into it. What a weird situation.

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Sorry the owner dragged you into this. It wasn't right.

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    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    I would have said 'Well thats akward' and walked away lol.

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    That was calling u out and making u a spectacle..not cool..

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    I don't know what to say to the OP except WTF? At these times it might help to talk about own experiences where we felt like everyone put us on the spot.
    I remember the first time one of my bandmates declared to someone, "We have a white guitar player". I thought, hey wait a minute, I'm offended. Then I thought, well not really, I like my job. Then one night this same guy who said this came to me and said, "She raped me!"(a white girl he left the club with). I though, "You think I'm responsible for the behavior of white women HERE, in Japan, or anywhere else for that matter? I'm not even supposed to be on this gig" (this was in the 80's).
    Then one night my best friend in the band said the same thing to me, "She raped me!" (same deal, left the club with a white girl). He was sort of laughing nervously when he said it but I felt sorry for him in a way. He was a close friend.
    I didn't know how to respond to any of this at the time but I did remember this- At one time each of these guys who declared they were "raped" told me in a stern voice, "I..am a conservative". I thought, well, I'm NOT a conservative.
    Walk it off you little whiners.

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Well, that's fucking weird. Terrible of him to try and put you on the spot like that. Just because he hired a black person doesn't mean he's not racist. He just said that because he knew it would put you in the middle of things, and then no one would want to argue for fear of making you feel uncomfortable. And it worked obviously, as the subject was dropped by the sounds of things.

    I hate when clubs turn away customers with money because of personal vendettas/racism/whatever the fuck.

    He sounds like a douchey guy, is he?



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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    Well, that's fucking weird. Terrible of him to try and put you on the spot like that. Just because he hired a black person doesn't mean he's not racist. He just said that because he knew it would put you in the middle of things, and then no one would want to argue for fear of making you feel uncomfortable. And it worked obviously, as the subject was dropped by the sounds of things.

    I hate when clubs turn away customers with money because of personal vendettas/racism/whatever the fuck.

    He sounds like a douchey guy, is he?
    I'm not sure if the owner thought this would be a conversation killer. If this was the first time he's been accused of being a racist then it could have been a knee-jerk reaction on his part. On the other hand this could be a tactic he's used more than once.
    If we say,"I have a black friend, employee, boyfriend/girlfriend, president, etc..." does it really say much about who we are? It's a cop-out.
    I think you had to be at the meeting to really determine what happened. Don't understand the exchange of looks at all.

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    OP, I guess it's been decided your boss is a racist and that's that. This thread has been awkward.

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    Veteran Member Rayna Skye's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    Well, that's fucking weird. Terrible of him to try and put you on the spot like that. Just because he hired a black person doesn't mean he's not racist. He just said that because he knew it would put you in the middle of things, and then no one would want to argue for fear of making you feel uncomfortable. And it worked obviously, as the subject was dropped by the sounds of things.

    I hate when clubs turn away customers with money because of personal vendettas/racism/whatever the fuck.

    He sounds like a douchey guy, is he?
    Yeah, he's a douche. I have loads of stories. He mostly sits there and drinks all day.

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Quote Originally Posted by bucket2 View Post
    I don't know what to say to the OP except WTF? At these times it might help to talk about own experiences where we felt like everyone put us on the spot.
    I remember the first time one of my bandmates declared to someone, "We have a white guitar player". I thought, hey wait a minute, I'm offended. Then I thought, well not really, I like my job. Then one night this same guy who said this came to me and said, "She raped me!"(a white girl he left the club with). I though, "You think I'm responsible for the behavior of white women HERE, in Japan, or anywhere else for that matter? I'm not even supposed to be on this gig" (this was in the 80's).
    Then one night my best friend in the band said the same thing to me, "She raped me!" (same deal, left the club with a white girl). He was sort of laughing nervously when he said it but I felt sorry for him in a way. He was a close friend.
    I didn't know how to respond to any of this at the time but I did remember this- At one time each of these guys who declared they were "raped" told me in a stern voice, "I..am a conservative". I thought, well, I'm NOT a conservative.
    Walk it off you little whiners.

    I do not see how this applies to the OP. It's kinda weird....

    I understand how the other statements correlate to the thread -just not the second..?
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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    Veteran Member Cheo_D's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Quote Originally Posted by bucket2 View Post
    I'm not sure if the owner thought this would be a conversation killer. If this was the first time he's been accused of being a racist then it could have been a knee-jerk reaction on his part. On the other hand this could be a tactic he's used more than once.
    If we say,"I have a black friend, employee, boyfriend/girlfriend, president, etc..." does it really say much about who we are? It's a cop-out.
    I think you had to be at the meeting to really determine what happened. Don't understand the exchange of looks at all.

    Just as it is it does sound like he was reaching for some sort of justification/cover and she just happened to be standing there. But as mentioned that has the entirely unfair effect of putting Rayna in the undesirable role of the "token", and the back-and-forth looking would have been in the expectation that someone would take exception or that he would realize he was failing to extricate himself. But one does not have to dignify douches with a confrontation in response to every ignorant statement.

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cheo_D View Post
    Just as it is it does sound like he was reaching for some sort of justification/cover and she just happened to be standing there. But as mentioned that has the entirely unfair effect of putting Rayna in the undesirable role of the "token", and the back-and-forth looking would have been in the expectation that someone would take exception or that he would realize he was failing to extricate himself. But one does not have to dignify douches with a confrontation in response to every ignorant statement.
    I didn't mean to give the impression I was defending him. I"m not. How do you know he hasn't done this before? I guess it would have been too hard to tell this ass-hat not to change the subject and that would be dignifying as you say. Like I said, call him a rascist and leave it at that. If you want to tack on some other labels like "douche" that's great, but "racist" is forever and you can't take it back.

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    It's totally pathetic to put you in a position where it's argued that your presence means that the club owner did not do something racist. Note too how one behaviour (kicking out some Black male customers) is justified as acceptable by the fact that you (a Black woman) works at the club. The two situations have very little to do with one another, when one considers how different negative stereotypes are ascribed to different social groups based on INTERSECTIONS of gender and race, etc.
    I'm guessing the guys who got kicked out were dressed casually, cuz when white guys wear jeans it's an evening off of work, but when Black guys wear jeans they're potential gang members Oh, but wait, when Black men are well dressed they're suspected successful drug dealers, so perhaps khakis and blue blazers are the solution?
    I almost can't blame the club owner, when I consider how few POSITIVE representations of Black men are depicted in various forms of media, but shame on him for not examining the attitudes and beliefs he adopted as part of his socialization in a racist society. It's despicable to put you in a position where your presence means the owner's behaviour was justified, and here the word 'token' is apt. He used you as his excuse for why it's apparently ok to discriminate against an entire social group. That's as offensive to me as his behaviour towards the guys who kicked out.
    ugh

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    Quote Originally Posted by loveshooks View Post
    It's totally pathetic to put you in a position where it's argued that your presence means that the club owner did not do something racist. Note too how one behaviour (kicking out some Black male customers) is justified as acceptable by the fact that you (a Black woman) works at the club. The two situations have very little to do with one another, when one considers how different negative stereotypes are ascribed to different social groups based on INTERSECTIONS of gender and race, etc.
    I'm guessing the guys who got kicked out were dressed casually, cuz when white guys wear jeans it's an evening off of work, but when Black guys wear jeans they're potential gang members Oh, but wait, when Black men are well dressed they're suspected successful drug dealers, so perhaps khakis and blue blazers are the solution?
    I almost can't blame the club owner, when I consider how few POSITIVE representations of Black men are depicted in various forms of media, but shame on him for not examining the attitudes and beliefs he adopted as part of his socialization in a racist society. It's despicable to put you in a position where your presence means the owner's behaviour was justified, and here the word 'token' is apt. He used you as his excuse for why it's apparently ok to discriminate against an entire social group. That's as offensive to me as his behaviour towards the guys who kicked out.
    ugh
    One night I saw a black dude at the club and he was wearing khaki slacks and a khaki shirt. He was alone and dancers were trying to get him to have a seat but he wouldn't sit. That's when I decided once and for all not to sit down in WI strip clubs (I won't go into the details as to why). I didn't know what to make of the khakis at the time. Going to SC's is no doubt a very complicated affair for AA's. Thanks for your enlightening post.

    P.S.
    I'm going to try wearing khaki's. It might cut down on the rude dancers who bump into me repeatedly when I'm trying to watch the show.
    Last edited by bucket2; 01-24-2012 at 02:59 PM. Reason: more info, spelling

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    Default Re: I'm Not racist! I hired Rayna didn't I?

    OP, ignore my jibberish. There's just no excuse for what the owner said. He owes you an appology.
    Last edited by bucket2; 01-26-2012 at 03:44 PM. Reason: more

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