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Thread: Moving to a New State

  1. #1
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Moving to a New State

    The times I've done this, there was no reason to worry about stability. My ex and I would crash on someone's couch or a motel, or the trip was paid for by the band and there really wasn't anything about which to worry. This time it's different. The bf and daughter would be coming and I'd obviously need a better plan than just winging it. Not to mention, when we'd "move" it was never on a permanent basis. We drifted a lot, helped by the fact that he was a touring musician, and I could work pretty much anywhere. Details did not matter. So I'm at a total loss at the moment about how to even start looking into moving. This would be a permanent move. This does need planning... so if you've ever moved to a new place, where did you begin? Did you have savings before you did it? And if you're not from the area, how did you know where to rent/buy? Did you take a trip down first and look around before deciding on a spot?? I want out of NY... soooooo.... help! LoL
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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    ive moved a lot and i just went for it. when i moved to nola 2 yrs ago i had maybe 1000 dollars to my name but i moved down and made stuff work. i found an apartment on craigslist prior to moving and didnt know anyone here. i had visited the previous mardi gras as a tourist, but other than that i didnt know jack about the city.

    sometimes the best solution is just to rip off the bandaid and go for it. city-data has a good section that shows how safe parts of the city are and you can use craigslist to find an apartment. i would get a temporary month to month rent when you first move down and then find a more permanent spot when you are already in the location and have a better feel for where you want to live in the city.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    I made this post about six months ago but a lot of it still applies. Hopefully it will help you!:

    If you by chance end up in Seattle I could definitely help you out with a job- stripping or non stripping, especially since season is coming.

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    I am a very anal, detail-oriented kind of person, and I HATE moving without at least looking at the city first or knowing someone there already.

    I would visit a place first at least for a day to know the area and find a place to stay, especially since your daughter is going as well. I also like having money saved up too to deal with problems as they arise (which they normally do). I would contact a rental company or realtor in the areas you're looking at to help find a safe place to live.

    If it was just me, I'd pack up and leave. But since you've got a kid to factor in, I think it's better to err on the side of caution and plan a bit better.

    The military normally organizes all this stuff for us, but I do know how they do it. First they pick a spot to move, find a house for you, hire a moving company, set the date for you to arrive at the new house, set dates for the movers to come in and pack it all and ship it for you (unless you pack and ship yourself), then off you go! For most places, they can pack it all up and ship it in a day with two-three movers doing all the work.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    oh i didnt read the part about the kid. yea, more planning would be needed then. i fly solo and i can adapt anywhere so moving somehwere wtih no plan or financial support was not a problem
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    oh i didnt read the part about the kid. yea, more planning would be needed then. i fly solo and i can adapt anywhere so moving somehwere wtih no plan or financial support was not a problem

    Having a kid really can make a huge difference. When I didn't have a daughter moving (and everything else) was sooo much easier. Now it's complicated.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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  11. #7
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenathefabulous View Post
    oh i didnt read the part about the kid. yea, more planning would be needed then. i fly solo and i can adapt anywhere so moving somehwere wtih no plan or financial support was not a problem
    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    Having a kid really can make a huge difference. When I didn't have a daughter moving (and everything else) was sooo much easier. Now it's complicated.
    Exactly. If it wasn't for her, I'd be in Tel Aviv altogether.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    Senior Member nolalarissa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    I moved to NOLA and it worked out. It was outside of my comfort zone b/c I am usually a planner. I don't have a child but I do have a fur-baby. Good luck!

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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    We moved out to Wisconsin from Las Vegas almost 2 years ago now.
    At the time, it was just my husband, my 2 and a half year old (now 4) and me.
    We didn't do the best planning, just knew it had to be done. We knew we wanted something completely different. Some place with seasons (even if I now bitch about the cold seasons..lol), a good place to raise our family.
    At the time, we saw that there were a lot of jobs in Milwaukee. At that point, I didn't want to dance and wanted to bartend (but knew there were clubs in the area in case that fell through).

    We got our income taxes, and packed all our belongings in our truck (pictures, clothes some dishes..that's it) and hopped in the car with around $2000.
    Which wasn't very much. With gas, food, hotels for a few nights..plus, didn't know if we were gonna get jobs right away.

    We were lucky that his grandpa lived in Illinois, right on the Wisconsin border and stayed there for 2 weeks until we got a house and got jobs.
    Even though we were originally looking in Milwaukee, we found a perfect house in a little town and my husband got lucky and landed a job 10 minutes from the house. PLUS, there were 3 clubs for me. It was like everything just fell into place.

    We really couldn't have done it without help from his grandpa though. He did loan us some money for the deposit on our house and having a place to stay (for free) helped A LOT! We DID struggle, but it wasn't anything we weren't use to..lol...plus, it made us stronger and made us appreciate everything we have now sooo much more.

    Now, almost 2 years later we're doing the best we've ever done. Have a BIGGER house, we're in an even better area, we actually have belongings, jobs and another (and final) addition to our family...everything we ever needed/wanted.

    Sometimes, you just have to take everything you have and just go for it.
    It was the best thing we ever did.

    I do think it is easier if you have a little help though. Just a place to stay at least until you find a place of your own.
    If you ever wanna come to Wisconsin, you all are more than welcome to stay with me and my family for awhile. We have plenty of room now.

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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    I moved from London to NYC when I was 20 ... and winged it. It worked out fine at the time because I had zero responsibilities or ties to anything. I literally got on a plane with my passport, some cash and a bag full of clothes and figured everything out from there.

    Now, although I don't have any kids it does take planning. Quite honestly my recent move ended up costing about 10,000. First months rent, one and half months deposit, getting all my furniture moved etc etc. HOWEVER, it all depends on which state/city you decide to move.

    I'd go and visit places, spend some time there, see if it's really the place for you and your family. Many places seem great at a first glance but then have their social and economic issues when you move there.

    Definitely plan ahead and good luck !!!

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moving to a New State

    I dreamed of moving someplace warm, so I started half-heartedly putting out resumes.

    I was called in for an interview, so I flew in one day early, and looked at a few apartments (wishful thinking!!!!). City-data was a great resource for me to tell me what areas to look for, what to avoid, etc. While my apartment seriously sucks, it's in a super nice, safe location, which is all I care about.

    I was then floored when I was offered an awesome job...with the caveat that I had to start in 14 days. Moving across the country in 2 weeks is tricky and exhausting, but possible! The actual moving part wasn't bad...I just rented a 26-foot truck, drove my stuff across the country, and hired movers with good reviews to help me unload it (SO worth it, those guys busted their asses in 100+ heat and had everything done in less than an hour).

    The biggest issue I had was renting. Despite having outstanding credit, great salary, etc, the apartment complex was really hesitant to rent to me coming out of state. They gave me such a huge runaround, and I had to jump through crazy hoops. I had to have everything notarized and overnighted down, it was ridiculous. They STILL wouldn't give me an answer, and I had like 4 days to go, so I had an attorney call them to see what the hold up was. I found it 48 hours before my move date that I was approved.

    The little stuff is the real pain in the ass, like registering your car from out of state, getting a license, etc. Where I moved, you only have 1 week to get that all taken care of, and it's such a convoluted process, it has to be done over the course of several days. So definitely try and budget time and money so you have like a week or two free when you're not working so you can take care of that sort of thing, along with going to insurance companies, utility companies, etc.

    If you have more than 2 weeks, take advantage! Planning is helpful. Savings are a must...moving is freakin expensive, from what you may have to pay to break a lease, what you'll have to pay for a new one, to packing supplies, to moving trucks/movers...I had to pay $600 to register my car in the new state, and pay $150 for a new license...just stuff you never think to budget for. I saved a small moving nest egg of about $5,000, and I burned through that no problem, and I bought no new furniture or anything.

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