Hi all,
I haven't been here in a while... A lot of things going on. Anyway, if even one of you reads my story and helps me I'd greatly appreciate it. I just feel like no one but y'all would understand my situation, not even therapists or most of my friends. So here it goes. I quit dancing last year in October. I had been working up the nerve to do so for many moons, finally escaping oppressive boyfriend's control and able to make my own decisions. I had started making really shitty money and the last day I worked, I had left with 39 dollars and I decided to end that chapter of my life. I even abandoned my work shoes in my ex's car along with all my stripper clothes and I didn't give a fuck that it was gone.
Fast forward to now. I have moved back to my parents' house, in order to get back on my feet and look for a "real" job. I have no car at the moment (I've been carless for a year now). I regret that I was stupid with my money, because if I had been more responsible, I could have at least had a decent automobile at this point. I digress. The job search is much more dismal than I had expected. I will receive my bachelors degree in Film in May, and it seems like having a college degree means nothing in the eyes of corporate managers these days. Anyway, most of the jobs that would even hire me are minimum wage because I have little experience since I spent 2 years of my life dancing and I can't exactly put that on a resume. So I'm stuck. I share a car with my mom, I have very few friends in LA since I didn't grow up here, and overall, I'm just bored, lonely, and I feel hopeless. I feel like I lack independence and I am getting disheartened since no one calls me back to even give me an interview and it's hard to get a job when you don't even own a car.
I am not trying to pity myself, but I want to know what you girls think. I live very close to Spearmint Rhino in Torrance, and it seems like a decent club. I feel that if I went and worked there behind my parents' backs, I could save some money to buy a car and get my own apartment. I really don't want to do it, but my situation is wearing on my confidence and nerves. The only thing I had to myself was smoking weed, but I had to quit since a lot of companies do drug screening and I'd instantly be rejected if I test positive. I know things will get better, but I wonder. It's a big dilemma for me, because since I've spent 4 months away from stripping I am glad that I escaped that lifestyle. But not having any money of my own and not having any opportunities to get hired is absolutely driving me insane. Any opinions ladies?![]()




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