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Thread: Should I go back?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member BunniHops's Avatar
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    Default Should I go back?

    Hi all,
    I haven't been here in a while... A lot of things going on. Anyway, if even one of you reads my story and helps me I'd greatly appreciate it. I just feel like no one but y'all would understand my situation, not even therapists or most of my friends. So here it goes. I quit dancing last year in October. I had been working up the nerve to do so for many moons, finally escaping oppressive boyfriend's control and able to make my own decisions. I had started making really shitty money and the last day I worked, I had left with 39 dollars and I decided to end that chapter of my life. I even abandoned my work shoes in my ex's car along with all my stripper clothes and I didn't give a fuck that it was gone.
    Fast forward to now. I have moved back to my parents' house, in order to get back on my feet and look for a "real" job. I have no car at the moment (I've been carless for a year now). I regret that I was stupid with my money, because if I had been more responsible, I could have at least had a decent automobile at this point. I digress. The job search is much more dismal than I had expected. I will receive my bachelors degree in Film in May, and it seems like having a college degree means nothing in the eyes of corporate managers these days. Anyway, most of the jobs that would even hire me are minimum wage because I have little experience since I spent 2 years of my life dancing and I can't exactly put that on a resume. So I'm stuck. I share a car with my mom, I have very few friends in LA since I didn't grow up here, and overall, I'm just bored, lonely, and I feel hopeless. I feel like I lack independence and I am getting disheartened since no one calls me back to even give me an interview and it's hard to get a job when you don't even own a car.
    I am not trying to pity myself, but I want to know what you girls think. I live very close to Spearmint Rhino in Torrance, and it seems like a decent club. I feel that if I went and worked there behind my parents' backs, I could save some money to buy a car and get my own apartment. I really don't want to do it, but my situation is wearing on my confidence and nerves. The only thing I had to myself was smoking weed, but I had to quit since a lot of companies do drug screening and I'd instantly be rejected if I test positive. I know things will get better, but I wonder. It's a big dilemma for me, because since I've spent 4 months away from stripping I am glad that I escaped that lifestyle. But not having any money of my own and not having any opportunities to get hired is absolutely driving me insane. Any opinions ladies?
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    Default Re: Should I go back?

    I am sorry to hear all of this. I say go for it at SR. I was hired a few years back at the SR in vegas(altho I didnt actually work there lol). The money u make dancing is liberating bc it allows u to get back on ur feet again after normal jobs r hard to come by or do not pay shit. Go for it I say.

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    Featured Member GlitterBexie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I go back?

    Definetly give it a go if you feel like its gonna be worth it in the long run. Like shift_6x said, the money is liberating, you can just work a few shifts a week and use the other time free to look for a "proper job", you may even feel like you want to go train to do something new, go back to college or whatever and its always handy to have some in the bank to do that with. The good thing about dancing is the freedom it can bring, and if you do go back and you hate it, theres no saying you have to stay there. Do whats gonna make you happy and give you the tools to progress in the direction you'd like to. I gave up dancing for a year, and hated the idea of going back after the break, but 3/4 months later, im so glad i did, my "proper job" was paying literally for rent, no bills, no food, no nothing, i had to rely on my SO for everything else, going back to dancing has given me the freedom to choose more, look into more options and hopefully move forward. You can do it, you can be good at it, whatever "it" may be! Good luck! xxx
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    Default Re: Should I go back?

    Glad that you escaped a bad spot, and that you are feeling better about other stuff now....

    As for going back to dancing, well, that's got to be your decision. But first what I would do is try to figure out what you eventually want. From the way you write, it sounds like you didn't like the "lifestyle" that you had got into, and you made some bad money decisions (haven't we all!), so if you do go back to it, you should make sure that you are avoiding this trap again. I think that a good way to do that is to figure out why you are dancing.
    Do you want to make a career of stripping? Then approach it with a business mindset - set yourself earnings goals, pay your taxes, create a website, etc etc. Set yourself savings goals and a budget, too and stay the heck away from the "lifestyle!"
    Or do you want to earn enough money to get back on your feet before leaving again? In this case - figure out what you want to do when you leave - school/other jobs/etc etc and figure out a plan to make that happen. How much do you need to earn? Save? Should you dance while working a minimum wage job till you can move up the career ladder? (also - I always put stripping on my resume, for the record)

    I would also definitely try to develop a fuller life outside of work. If you are not from the area - making friends is really important to help you feel happier and more connected. Start doing stuff - classes, hobbies, even just working out a lot. Get enough stuff going that you don't feel so bored and lonely.

    As for the car - what about a car co-op? Like Zip Car, Modo or Car2Go? Not sure if there is one in LA, but it is perfect for getting to interviews and such while you are getting back on your feet, and is so much easier, cheaper and less hassle than owning your own vehicle.

    Good luck!!
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    Default Re: Should I go back?

    The job search is much more dismal than I had expected. I will receive my bachelors degree in Film in May, and it seems like having a college degree means nothing in the eyes of corporate managers these days. Anyway, most of the jobs that would even hire me are minimum wage because I have little experience since I spent 2 years of my life dancing and I can't exactly put that on a resume. So I'm stuck.
    Unfortunately this is increasingly the case these days. And particularly so in the LA area, where there is no shortage of out-of-work people with experience in the film industry.

    Agreed that holding down a straight job that's 'decent', if you can find one, is almost certainly going to require having a car at your disposal in the LA area. But this leads to a 'Catch 22' situation. In order to hold a 'decent' straight job you need to buy a car, but without having the 'decent' straight job first your odds of getting financed to buy a car are near zero. Returning to work as an exotic dancer would allow you to break out of this 'Catch 22' situation ... by allowing you to save up cash and buy a car outright without the need for financing.

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    Default Re: Should I go back?

    don't do it because you feel like you need to, do it because you want to.

    Create a schedule if a club doesnt offer one, set up some goals (car/new apt/ect) and figure out what you would need to make each month to achieve those goals. Save, save, save!

    Most of all, good luck!

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