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Thread: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

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    Default If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Just a fun little thread to think about. I always feel like us on SW have a leg up on the competition because we're all able to pool together the best of our skills/techniques/advice. But - what if we all were to actually work together? Positive and negative thoughts welcome; just keep 'em funny.

    So, if Stripperweb were a Stripclub:

    -New dancers would be required to take "Stripper Etiquette" classes; mostly focused around not stealing other dancers shit.

    -The phrase "Maybe later" would be grounds for being thrown out of the club

    -Baby-oil wouldn't be permitted past the front door....

    -.....But there would be coconut oil dispensers in the Dressing Room.

    -The song "I'm In Love with a Stripper" would be banned. Permanently.



    Please feel free to add your own! Hope some others want to play too!



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    God/dess Flickdreams's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    baby wipe dispensers, free mints, men pass a personal hygiene check
    Tiny tweaks----->BIG CHANGES

    Quote Originally Posted by Kirakonstantin View Post
    More fear-mongering? Really? Yes, this is not the 1990's anymore. Yes, things are changing. Either dance or don't. Freaking out and sowing fear isn't going to help anyone.




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    Featured Member luscious sadie's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    the following would get a guy kicked out:
    - why pay for what I can get for free?
    - maybe later / not right now / I think HE wants to go

    - managers would believe girls about other girls being dirty and would keep an actual eye out and would actually do something about keeping the club clean
    - none of this crazy US tipout bullshit. There would be a housefee but that is IT. None of this 30% to EVERYONE WHO WORKS THERE.
    [/center]

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    Default If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    -Security would never be paid off to look the other way

    -No one tips the DJ for a better stage spot or to go up specifically (and only) when the rail is full of customers

    -If you call out on the bad shifts (ones notoriously not busy) you don't get to work the good shifts


    There are a million more but that's what I have at the moment.
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    Featured Member Laurisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Guys who were found taken pictures of the club would have their phone confiscated, searched, the material deleted and then have THEIR picture put up near the front so staff can see it and refuse them entry if they try to come back again. They would also be kicked out promptly.

    Dancers would be allowed to impose fines on staff (i.e. security not doing their job, managers hanging out/drinking with random friends, staff being overly intoxicated)

    Sexual assault would be taken seriously (that includes incidents that most clubs consider 'minor') and the bastards would be prosecuted.
    If you are willing to do for one year what other's won't, you can spend a lifetime doing what other's cant.


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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Men who were there only to find a stripper girlfriend would be thrown out only after the whole club laughed at them
    Sweatsuit boner man would be forever banned
    Last edited by Kellydancer; 02-09-2012 at 03:07 PM.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Awww, Kelly - why you gotta mess with my game?

    Don't be so hard on the "maybe later" guys. Sometimes it's a legit statement!

    A few from a customer standpoint, as well as someone who knows the biz -

    Something I'm surprised no club I've ever patronized actually does - implement SOME kind of rule or policy to keep girls from "parking" on a custie that isn't into them, making him unavailable to other girls and ruining his fun because he's too polite to say "I don't like you, go away".

    The drinks would be reasonably priced. Don't have to be cheap, but $12-15 for a shot of Patron is a TAD high, lol.

    If you're on rail, you will tip at least $1 per song or you will be asked politely but firmly to get the FUCK off the rail.

    Girls that are obviously wasted will not be allowed on stage and will either sit in back until they're somewhat functional or be sent home.

    Buying VIP seating on he floor means you get your choice of girl(s), not the one(s) that tip the managers/VIP hosts to be seated with you! In many clubs I sit on the floor instead of buying a booth for this reason alone, and it pisses me off to no end.

    House fees will be partially refunded if the club is particularly slow; if you pay to work the club should keep up their end of the deal and get people in the fucking door!

    Dancer count will be limited on the slow shifts; 30 girls to 10 guys is bad for everyone.

    Shifts will be enforced; if you're assigned day shift, no staying till 2 a.m. and messing up the later shift for the girls that paid 3x as much as you did to be there. MM & ex GF's would both disagree with this as they're all guilty, BUT - they weren't ASSIGNED days, they tend to go in early to pay the lower house fee & stay longer. But an open-shift girl worked more hours to save $40 is different than a girl who's ASSIGNED day shift staying all night. Different clubs have different policies about this.

    Hiring will include approval from more than one manager/house parent. No girl-who-shouldn't-have-been-hired-and-has-been-fired-three-times-but-she's-fucking-the-guy-who-keeps-her-around scenarios. kthnx.

    Girls who short dances, steal from custies, etc will be fired regardless of how much they make and/or tip out, because bad business is bad business.

    If you do hard drugs that's your business, but if you do them in the club you're gone.

    Wow - I could do this all day, lol. Why don't we just reopen the "Dreamgirls" thread and call it good, LMAO...

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    Featured Member luscious sadie's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    if it's a legit answer then say it another way. "I will go with you in a few beers, please come back, I do want to dance with you." Maybe later is basically saying "shoo fly!" in my opinion.

    everything that Laurisa said.

    and NO! to this:
    -If you call out on the bad shifts (ones notoriously not busy) you don't get to work the good shifts
    one of the reasons why we are dancers is because you don't want / shouldn't have to have a schedule as we are OUR OWN BOSSES. It's like some brainwashing that you should be punished for being an independent contractor and wanting to work when it is busy. Fuck that!
    [/center]

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurisa View Post
    Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy shit.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Quote Originally Posted by Almost Jaded View Post
    Awww, Kelly - why you gotta mess with my game?
    Ok, only cool guys who want hot stripper girlfriends can stay.


    Another one and this is for Tempest, but only dancers with teeth would be hired

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    LOL - you know I was just joking. I have to laugh because of all the "how do I get a dancer to date me" threads that happen here. I have never, not once ever, gone to a SC too pick up on the girls, get a date, or get laid. But because of... Luck? I dunno - I have a reputation both on this site and in the clubs I frequent, lol.

    True story - I once had a manager at Deja Vu (recently fired) call my personal cell phone and threaten me because I regularly bought dances from his GF. She was a top earner, and sells LOTS of dances - and was a notorious extras girl (not a prostitute, didn't suck dick or fuck custies, but she was far from clean). I was one of the few guys who really just bought clean floor dances from this girl. When she got caught - repeatedly - doing naughty shit in VIP, he would fight with HER about it; but because of my reputation, apparently me getting dances means I was trying to get in her pants, and thus justified threatening ME instead of fighting with HER about shit that ACTUALLY happened. Some people... lol

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    I know you were kidding, I was playing. We have seen all these annoying twits here (usually just on CC)asking how they can date strippers. I laugh at them.

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    Featured Member Brandi_Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    I think Laurissa should open a strip club -I would definitely audition!!
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

    “There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked.”


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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Sweatsuit Boner Man?


    Haha, that sounds like a really creepy superhero.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Because people would know not to ask to borrow anything, that wouldn't be an issue.


    But just in case, the dressing rooms can have things provided, like in gym locker rooms, but the things could be catered to dancers.
    Last edited by caitlin1214; 02-10-2012 at 09:01 PM.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    If SW were a SC...

    Dirty dancers would quickly be catted out of the club.

    Older dancers would induct newbie strippers with etiquette classes, then chase them out if they didn't comply.

    No ugly dancers would be allowed. What defines ugly depends on who is working that day lol

    Gimme a bit....I'm kinda out of it right now lol
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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    A huge, resounding YES to all of these:

    Quote Originally Posted by Flickdreams View Post
    men pass a personal hygiene check
    Quote Originally Posted by luscious sadie View Post
    - none of this crazy US tipout bullshit. There would be a housefee but that is IT. None of this 30% to EVERYONE WHO WORKS THERE.
    Quote Originally Posted by JayATee View Post
    -Security would never be paid off to look the other way

    -No one tips the DJ for a better stage spot or to go up specifically (and only) when the rail is full of customers

    -If you call out on the bad shifts (ones notoriously not busy) you don't get to work the good shifts
    ^I agree with the last one, for girls who DECIDE to work shifts. I've worked at many clubs where you can opt into being on a schedule, but only if you want. We were payed a base rate for coming in during normally dead hours. It would be SUPER frusterating when girls would book in for shift - and then just not show up. 1) It's taking away a shift from another dancer who probably wanted that extra $75 bucks in her pocket and 2) It means that the girls who DO work now have to do extra stage shows to compensate (we're not tipped on stage, so this was essentially taking us off the floor and away from hustling customers/making money to do extra, 'free' fully nude stage shows). There'd often be 10 spots for shift girls - and only 4 would show up....so for those 3 or 4 dead hours in the club, only 4 girls would be on stage rotation. It was irritating and exhausting. The girls who skipped were never punished for it. Conversely, no dancer should ever HAVE to do schedule if she didn't want to.

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    If SW were a real club... there'd be 200+ pound girls working any shift they wanted because "everyone is beautiful in their own way and as women we should all accept and love each other".
    Thanks a fucking lot. I have god damn acid burns inside my nostrils now from drinking my diet coke and then laughing so hard I spit it out my nose. U BITCH!
    <3

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    If SW were a SC...

    Dirty dancers would quickly be catted out of the club.

    Older dancers would induct newbie strippers with etiquette classes, then chase them out if they didn't comply.

    No ugly dancers would be allowed. What defines ugly depends on who is working that day lol

    Gimme a bit....I'm kinda out of it right now lol
    These are awesome. I liked the last one (I know it's mean....but I do.).



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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    If Stripperweb was a Stripclub...

    Eagle would totally get a free "because you're awesome" lap-dance from me. Just sayin'.

    I'd wanna hustle with Mediocrity and learn from her infinite wisdom and admire her boobs.

    I'd ask Desu if she'd be willing to do my makeup. Or do anything else about me.

    Heh.



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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath
    If SW were a real club... there'd be 200+ pound girls working any shift they wanted because "everyone is beautiful in their own way and as women we should all accept and love each other".
    Because of a specific conversation in a bar near the Chinatown area in Vegas a couple weeks ago, this was exactly 100x funnier than it otherwise would have been.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Customers would all be 6 foot plus, bronzed, fit gods with royal titles and bottomless bank accounts.............. I am ok with that. I says self servingly.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    If StripperWeb were a stripclub...

    I probably wouldn't make ANY money, because I'd be too busy throwing it at all of you sexy ladies!!

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Based on the Pictures of YOU thread, I would be a lot poorer.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    If Stripperweb was a Stripclub...

    Eagle would totally get a free "because you're awesome" lap-dance from me. Just sayin'.

    I'd wanna hustle with Mediocrity and learn from her infinite wisdom and admire her boobs.

    I'd ask Desu if she'd be willing to do my makeup. Or do anything else about me.

    Heh.
    Thank you! I would definitely buy lots of dances from you.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Quote Originally Posted by 4everresolutions View Post
    If Stripperweb was a Stripclub...

    Eagle would totally get a free "because you're awesome" lap-dance from me. Just sayin'.

    I'd wanna hustle with Mediocrity and learn from her infinite wisdom and admire her boobs.

    I'd ask Desu if she'd be willing to do my makeup. Or do anything else about me.

    Heh.
    If all of us were working at the same club I'm sure we'd be talking more than dancing.

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    If SW were a real club... there'd be 200+ pound girls working any shift they wanted because "everyone is beautiful in their own way and as women we should all accept and love each other".
    Don't forget the 200 pound dancer is "curvy" and a "real woman" and everyone not 200 pound is a skeleton.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    If all of us were working at the same club I'm sure we'd be talking more than dancing.



    Don't forget the 200 pound dancer is "curvy" and a "real woman" and everyone not 200 pound is a skeleton.

    Yeah....I think we need a new category to avoid the confusion between curvy and fat.....Of course we dont want to offend anyone by calling them fat, so......how about "lumpy" And if they want, they can still work but you have them all in a different room. And the lumpy room, you dont pay for lapdances in money, you pay for lapdances with peanuts.

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    Default Re: If Stripperweb were a Stripclub

    Quote Originally Posted by lemiwinks31 View Post
    Yeah....I think we need a new category to avoid the confusion between curvy and fat.....Of course we dont want to offend anyone by calling them fat, so......how about "lumpy" And if they want, they can still work but you have them all in a different room. And the lumpy room, you dont pay for lapdances in money, you pay for lapdances with peanuts.
    But those women don't want peanuts, they want a full meal or just ice cream. So payment can be in a variety of foods depending on the dancer.

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