So this is gonna be a bit long. I'll try to keep as brief as possible. And guys' opinions are welcome.
Big question is if this is abuse, or what.
Husband irritates me with his laziness. I have to nag him A LOT ( I can't emphasize that enough) to get him to do the simplist thing like wash the dishes or vacuum. He will leave our daughter's cups sitting in the sink for a week. So I yell and nag and get VERY angry with him for this because among other things, mold grows in the straws and no-spill part. But it's not just the dishes. He makes me late or run behind on many things because he won't get off the couch or computer.
We'll get to fighting so bad that I will try to just leave the house for bit. At this point, he makes things physical by retraining me, bending my arms and wrists into joint locks, or pushing me around or intimidating me. But he hasn't actually hit me and only once left a bruise, but because I have wacky joints it HURTS. I will retaliate at this point, but for the past 3 years I have not hit him etc first. Only in defense/retaliation to get away. He says I make him do it to keep me from leaving. I will scream at him and yell. So maybe I verballly abuse?
IDK, I've been raised to think every little thing can be abuse.
God, writing this makes me think it really is. But in reality, idk, it seems kinda inconsequential after the fact and kinda stupid too. But right now he is doing the same thing. Restraining me to try and kiss me to make up, when I just want him to leave me alone. He says I'm wrong about it and I'm crazy with a short fuse to my temper and the smallest thing sets me off and I should just forgive him. But this isn't the first time, far far from it.
Am I crazy? Is this abuse? Do I really goad him into it?
If this wasn't me, I'd be telling the poster it is abuse and to get counseling. I've tried counseling. I hate it and the military counselors suck.




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