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Thread: Sex Industry Dreams

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    Default Sex Industry Dreams

    Hi gang,

    I'm really depressed right now. I went to a top college but I haven't held down a decent job in four years and I've been unemployed for a year. Part of the reason is that I have mental health issues where I have intrusive thoughts of people dominating my life and ruining it. They call me a slut and say I'm fucked up but when I agree in my mind to conform and stop sleeping around, they call me a boring conformist prude and then brag that they're sluts and free spirits and that I'm just jealous of them. There are lots of different ruminations, mostly about sex and gender but also about race. The overriding theme is being harassed into conforming. This, along with a lifetime of bullying and confronting sexism, has made me develop a deep hatred of society and normal people, which would make it difficult to function in an office environment. I forced myself to apply to 11 jobs last week, but I didn't have the energy to call back and follow up. I feel overwhelmed, because for example, I don't have any nice interview suits. I have a jacket but it's more of a summer jacket. I would just look like shit. I don't have professional clothes to wear to work. And I don't want to hit up my mom for the money for these clothes. Besides, last time I went shopping with my mom and my sister, it was a disaster. I'm small on top and big on the bottom, so there were no suits that fit me. We went to all these different stores and nothing fit me. We ended up buying some jacket with sleeves that were too long and a jean skirt that I felt didn't look professional at all. I felt so fat and ugly in those suits. There are at least 100 job applicants for every job I apply for, so I feel like what's the point?

    Meanwhile, I think I would be much happier in the sex industry. I loved the few months I was a stripper. I don't hear voices in sexual situations because I feel like I'm with other outsiders. I feel protected by the men. I feel like the women are in no position to judge me a slut. I feel like I'm being myself. I feel free. My anxiety goes way down, which is why I watch so many sex shows and stuff. (Every time I leave the computer, the voices, then I come back and I'm focused). Plus a powerful feminist named Camille Paglia hypes it way up. She says strippers and prostitutes are pagan goddesses, shrewd hustlers who control the divide between nature and culture. She thinks they're superior to middle classed professional women, especially professors, who she mocks and ridicules. I know a lot of you don't like her because she supports the double standard, so I don't let her opinion have too much influence. But there are other things. I look way better in lingerie and sexy outfits than I do in suits. I feel much more comfortable in them. And I can wear whatever I want to and from the club, like sweatpants or something. I'm so relaxed I don't feel the need to drink, whereas I have drank during lunch at offices because of the boredom of the job and the tension that brings out the voices. I'm social at the club, whereas my hatred of mainstream society marks me as antisocial at work. So my dream in life is to be stripper, maybe an escort because that seems easier but it's also illegal.

    The thing is, I feel like I totally suck at dancing and escorting. Men say I have the perfect ass, but my stomach is big. I don't know how to dance or put on a sensational show. I don't know a single pole trick. I'm not so great at seduction.
    At the last club I worked, I never made more than $130 in one night. Of course I was leaving early and I was working on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so that may have contributed. Besides, none of the girls there made more than $200 a night and they stayed till 2 am, whereas I left at 11pm. The club was a hour away and during down times when no one was there it was boring.

    I have the opportunity to audition at an upscale black club closer to my house. The girls make up to $700-$1000 a night. That's almost $200K a year if they work four nights a week. Thing is, they're picture perfect, flat stomachs on big booties. They look really glamorous with French tip nails which I can't afford, jewelry, etc. I got my hair done so that's no problem. But they can also really dance.

    There are other more practical reasons to do this. I need money ASAP, so I can't jump through interview hoops, buy new clothes, and keep getting rejected until the year is over. I'm willing to wait until I lose weight though, which will only take a few months rather than risking taking a whole year to find a normal job. This is an opportunity to make quick cash.

    I could also go back to my old club if they'll take me. But what's the point of going all that way to dance for 2 people and leave with $80?

    I could also turn tricks, I like sex even though everyone wants me to feel ashamed of myself. But the guys are meet are incredibly cheap. I hit up guys for sex, guys that are obviously not cops, but the guys who are obviously not cops are broke and most refuse to pay even $100.

    Part of me thinks I could do the normal job thing and then just fuck for fun, then I would be like Samantha from Sex and the City. Meanwhile, normal people piss me off so much I feel like beating them up. Plus the intrusive thoughts.



    tl;dr

    Options:

    -Work from home
    -Work at a non-profit (where the dress code isn't strict)
    -Audition at the upscale club soon, just practice a little and try
    -Wait to lose weight then audition at the upscale club
    -Start hitting up guys for sex, start a word of mouth chain (I'm not advertising online)
    -?

    I would appreciate insight and moral support.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    what is your support system like?
    also, i would recommend volunteering while you do your job search. it's great for your resume, will keep you busy, and will give you some purpose so you stop focusing on your depression.
    please get a copy of louise hay's you can heal your life asap.

    Quote Originally Posted by SlutGoddess View Post
    Hi gang,

    I'm really depressed right now. I went to a top college but I haven't held down a decent job in four years and I've been unemployed for a year. Part of the reason is that I have mental health issues where I have intrusive thoughts of people dominating my life and ruining it. They call me a slut and say I'm fucked up but when I agree in my mind to conform and stop sleeping around, they call me a boring conformist prude and then brag that they're sluts and free spirits and that I'm just jealous of them. There are lots of different ruminations, mostly about sex and gender but also about race. The overriding theme is being harassed into conforming. This, along with a lifetime of bullying and confronting sexism, has made me develop a deep hatred of society and normal people, which would make it difficult to function in an office environment. I forced myself to apply to 11 jobs last week, but I didn't have the energy to call back and follow up. I feel overwhelmed, because for example, I don't have any nice interview suits. I have a jacket but it's more of a summer jacket. I would just look like shit. I don't have professional clothes to wear to work. And I don't want to hit up my mom for the money for these clothes. Besides, last time I went shopping with my mom and my sister, it was a disaster. I'm small on top and big on the bottom, so there were no suits that fit me. We went to all these different stores and nothing fit me. We ended up buying some jacket with sleeves that were too long and a jean skirt that I felt didn't look professional at all. I felt so fat and ugly in those suits. There are at least 100 job applicants for every job I apply for, so I feel like what's the point?

    Meanwhile, I think I would be much happier in the sex industry. I loved the few months I was a stripper. I don't hear voices in sexual situations because I feel like I'm with other outsiders. I feel protected by the men. I feel like the women are in no position to judge me a slut. I feel like I'm being myself. I feel free. My anxiety goes way down, which is why I watch so many sex shows and stuff. (Every time I leave the computer, the voices, then I come back and I'm focused). Plus a powerful feminist named Camille Paglia hypes it way up. She says strippers and prostitutes are pagan goddesses, shrewd hustlers who control the divide between nature and culture. She thinks they're superior to middle classed professional women, especially professors, who she mocks and ridicules. I know a lot of you don't like her because she supports the double standard, so I don't let her opinion have too much influence. But there are other things. I look way better in lingerie and sexy outfits than I do in suits. I feel much more comfortable in them. And I can wear whatever I want to and from the club, like sweatpants or something. I'm so relaxed I don't feel the need to drink, whereas I have drank during lunch at offices because of the boredom of the job and the tension that brings out the voices. I'm social at the club, whereas my hatred of mainstream society marks me as antisocial at work. So my dream in life is to be stripper, maybe an escort because that seems easier but it's also illegal.

    The thing is, I feel like I totally suck at dancing and escorting. Men say I have the perfect ass, but my stomach is big. I don't know how to dance or put on a sensational show. I don't know a single pole trick. I'm not so great at seduction.
    At the last club I worked, I never made more than $130 in one night. Of course I was leaving early and I was working on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so that may have contributed. Besides, none of the girls there made more than $200 a night and they stayed till 2 am, whereas I left at 11pm. The club was a hour away and during down times when no one was there it was boring.

    I have the opportunity to audition at an upscale black club closer to my house. The girls make up to $700-$1000 a night. That's almost $200K a year if they work four nights a week. Thing is, they're picture perfect, flat stomachs on big booties. They look really glamorous with French tip nails which I can't afford, jewelry, etc. I got my hair done so that's no problem. But they can also really dance.

    There are other more practical reasons to do this. I need money ASAP, so I can't jump through interview hoops, buy new clothes, and keep getting rejected until the year is over. I'm willing to wait until I lose weight though, which will only take a few months rather than risking taking a whole year to find a normal job. This is an opportunity to make quick cash.

    I could also go back to my old club if they'll take me. But what's the point of going all that way to dance for 2 people and leave with $80?

    I could also turn tricks, I like sex even though everyone wants me to feel ashamed of myself. But the guys are meet are incredibly cheap. I hit up guys for sex, guys that are obviously not cops, but the guys who are obviously not cops are broke and most refuse to pay even $100.

    Part of me thinks I could do the normal job thing and then just fuck for fun, then I would be like Samantha from Sex and the City. Meanwhile, normal people piss me off so much I feel like beating them up. Plus the intrusive thoughts.



    tl;dr

    Options:

    -Work from home
    -Work at a non-profit (where the dress code isn't strict)
    -Audition at the upscale club soon, just practice a little and try
    -Wait to lose weight then audition at the upscale club
    -Start hitting up guys for sex, start a word of mouth chain (I'm not advertising online)
    -?

    I would appreciate insight and moral support.

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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    It's really f-ing hard to find a job these days. Definitely sign up for help at a job search center for help with your resume and moral support.

    Make your money any way you can but be safe. Violence and VD are out there - I know.

    You are not alone, girl. Men like women of all sizes -just find ones who like yours. Don't count out the sugar daddy option for help without the high traffic and turnover.
    Smoke good, eat good. Drink and f*** good. Comin' to the club, stuntin' how you should. My s*** on fire I don't need no gasolina. I'm comin through the block with the new two seater. Cash rules everything around me -- C.R.E.A.M. -- get the money! Dollar dollar bill, y'all!!! FREEZE!!! You know who it is!!! It's me *****es!!! Showtime!!! -Swizz Beats

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    I'd say travel dance or move to an area where there's money in clubs. Work as many days as possible, and especially work weekends. Work at any club you're comfortable with & can get hired at. That way you can save up money, get comfortable, and then look for an internship (they are unpaid these days) so you can network into your field. A lot of people get hired straight from internships. And employers look at internships as relevant work experience.

    These days a degree gets you no where. Especially if its not required (unlike nursing, law, medicine, engineering, etc.) Degrees used to be looked at as a sign that the applicant was motivated and willing to put in a lot of effort toward the job. Because degrees are so easy to get these days, a degree doesn't mean those things anymore. So now employers look at internship experience (which are unpaid these days) when hiring new grads. Because if you really want to be in a certain industry, you'll find a way to volunteer and network into it someone. Thus motivation and effort.

    But if you don't want to dance, don't dance because you won't make money and won't be motivated to go to work. I wouldn't escort if you're not going to advertise online because word of mouth won't go very far. The type of clientele that pays for sex will definitely not be a friend of a friend unless you hang out with middle-aged married men who like being discreet.

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    Why not advertise online as an escort ?

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    I think you need to get out of your head a little. Looks are not everything. There are customers for every girl. Every girl. You have already made money at a club so you can do it again.
    You are really pscyching yourself out (I do it too).
    Forget Camille Paglia she is not a stripper or a prostie and she never has been she writes books and lectures and gets very rich off it. She has nothing to do with our lives. I seriously wish she would sit her bony ass down but whatever.
    Dancing is a source of income. It sounds like you are doing well for a newbie which means you have even more earnings potential further on down the road. Focus on the positive in yourself and do your best.
    If you're happy working at a club, get a job doing that, and improve your game bit by bit while making $$$.
    Best wishes.

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    I think you should see a therapist and possibly consider going on medication. You seem to have some very destructive thoughts that are borderline delusional. You also seem heavily depressed which is going to contribute to your feelings of inadequacy. You're creating too many obstacles for yourself. I have been struggling with finding a job as well but I haven't lost hope and I have also considered going back to dancing even if the economy isn't the greatest. Making 130 dollars a night is a shit load of a lot better than sitting around moping and comparing yourself to complete strangers. So many people bite off their own nose to spite their face. If you have no money and no self esteem, you have to start building on one of them or you'll never have either. Just my two cents.
    Quote Originally Posted by xxxtc View Post
    MEN - poorly designed creatures

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    Also, the person who said that degrees are so easy to get should try getting one
    Quote Originally Posted by xxxtc View Post
    MEN - poorly designed creatures

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    Quote Originally Posted by BunniHops View Post
    Also, the person who said that degrees are so easy to get should try getting one
    I actually have one. And I went to grad school, all before I was 24. All while stripping and being a makeup artist as well as interning in a neurobehavioral research lab

    They are too watered down these days and people feel entitled to a job after they have a degree, which makes no sense. Experience and showing off your talents are what gets you jobs, trust me. Only go for degrees out of personal interest and if you can afford majority of the cost (which many people in the adult industry can). Otherwise its a complete waste of time. Internships and effort go much farther.

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    I have a degree too. A four year from a good school. It wasn't easy.
    I'm about to transition to stripping full time. Life ain't easy.

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    Thank you so much girls! I feel so much better today. I feel confident and alive. I'm gonna check out some area clubs while applying to office jobs.

    I definitely need to get out of my head. I am delusional that people will look down on me and fight me and I give them way too much credit. I'll just distract myself and keep busy or meditate. I think this head trip was a gift because it forces me to live a more interesting life than a lot of people can.

    Camille Paglia is not to be taken seriously. She is an Ivory Tower sheltered nerd who is not even a man or a chick let alone an entertainer. She doesn't even know any entertainers. And she's never substantiated any of her claims with logic or evidence. I feel sorry for her and her fans because they don't have the inside scoop.

    I feel much more positive today. Thanks again.

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    OP, I don't think you should be working in the sex industry until you get your life together. I've seen girls with serious emotional or mental problems go into the industry and get more messed up. Others got mixed up in drugs. It's not the right industry with someone with problems because those will intensify. Men protecting you? Not in this industry, they have their only agenda. Make sure you protect yourself and not to depend on anyone else in this industry.

    Is $130 a night bad? Well it depends but even at my peak there were nights I would have been happy to make that. However if that is the most you've mad then yes it might not be a good thing. Depends on my factors though. If you have a big stomach that is less in demand than if you have big boobs or big hips and I'd work on that.

    Btw, I too have a degree, two in fact. I do think some colleges are way to easy to get in which does water down the degree. However that bothers me because I worked hard. I do not support everyone attending college and feel standards need to be severely tightened.

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    Default Re: Sex Industry Dreams

    Quote Originally Posted by Dddallas View Post
    Why not advertise online as an escort ?
    Because I don't want to get busted. Going to jail sucks. I watch cop and jail shows so I know it's very possible to get busted and that jail really really sucks.

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